THE FORUMS
I love this post !
It hasn´t got a swing to it with "I nailed her at the end" or something. It's a realization you had and shared ! cool man.
But it's my belief that if you've done 50 sets and not gotten a solid close, you need to go back to your room (most negative word I know of, if it's not said by a girl that is :D ) and analyze, make that game tighter... opening is clearly not helping.
But please guys don´t NOT go out unless you're having a very poor success rate. IMHO, when you've had that much failure in sets, it's not about practice, it's time to change...
wish you the best of luck and let us know how it's going man, inner game is clearly the way to go in your case ! :D
It hasn´t got a swing to it with "I nailed her at the end" or something. It's a realization you had and shared ! cool man.
But it's my belief that if you've done 50 sets and not gotten a solid close, you need to go back to your room (most negative word I know of, if it's not said by a girl that is :D ) and analyze, make that game tighter... opening is clearly not helping.
But please guys don´t NOT go out unless you're having a very poor success rate. IMHO, when you've had that much failure in sets, it's not about practice, it's time to change...
wish you the best of luck and let us know how it's going man, inner game is clearly the way to go in your case ! :D
__________________
Papa Wrote:
You will conquer your fear around women as you get more and more field experience. This is the key to overcoming any challenge and obstacle. It's about developing new reference points so that your intution, skillset, and calibration with women get better.
Awesome MSO! I'm really glad that my exercise helped you isolate and identify the feeling of outcome dependence.
Here's the exercise for everyone else:
-Call every HB in your phone at around 10 in the morning. Usually they won't pick up at this time and you'll be forced to leave a msg. If they do pick up, then chat for a second if you'd like or do what MSO did and just hang up.
-Leave a generic message: "Hey HB this is PUA, call me back."
-Then turn your phone on silent and put it in a place where you can't see if someone is calling. This can be in your pocket, in a drawer, upside down on a table, etc.
You will notice a certain anxiety urging you to check your phone to see if any of the HB's have called you back. This feeling of urgency is your level of outcome dependence. Resist this feeling and find ways to deal with it, ignore it, fight it, etc. Don't check your phone, and if you do, mark down the time.
This will help you identify outcome dependence so you may realize what it is when it’s happening, just as MSO did in the club tonight. Overcoming outcome dependence is a long process of self discovery and learning self validation. Once you can identify it, it will become easier to fight. After all, knowing is half the battle. (GI JOE!!!)
~Danny
Here's the exercise for everyone else:
-Call every HB in your phone at around 10 in the morning. Usually they won't pick up at this time and you'll be forced to leave a msg. If they do pick up, then chat for a second if you'd like or do what MSO did and just hang up.
-Leave a generic message: "Hey HB this is PUA, call me back."
-Then turn your phone on silent and put it in a place where you can't see if someone is calling. This can be in your pocket, in a drawer, upside down on a table, etc.
You will notice a certain anxiety urging you to check your phone to see if any of the HB's have called you back. This feeling of urgency is your level of outcome dependence. Resist this feeling and find ways to deal with it, ignore it, fight it, etc. Don't check your phone, and if you do, mark down the time.
This will help you identify outcome dependence so you may realize what it is when it’s happening, just as MSO did in the club tonight. Overcoming outcome dependence is a long process of self discovery and learning self validation. Once you can identify it, it will become easier to fight. After all, knowing is half the battle. (GI JOE!!!)
~Danny
i'm definitely gonna try that. i've got total outcome dependence
Hey bro,
You're one of my favorite guys on here, and I want to see you succeed. I feel you're getting bogged down by things you don't need to burden yourself with or experience. You're forcing yourself to adopt certain habits, mentalities, or actions because you think to become a pua you need to force yourself to do things in a certain way. Nope.
If you feel like walking around and staring at chicks then do it. I do it all the time. Not everyone likes me when I walk up to them. I don't always have something smooth to say. Sometimes I'm quiet as shit and I don't feel like talking to anyone. When this happens guess what I do. I don't talk to anyone. And I don't get on myself when I'm not getting attention from a female. There is this one girl, I hit on her every time I see her, which happens to be about once a week. Sometimes she giggles when she sees me, I grab her and tell her about my night, other times she won't even look at me. Most of the time I announce loudly to everyone in the area that "Damn there she is. Hey guys I hit on her every Saturday. Give me a sec.." Other times I just kinda look at her from a distance 'cuz I'm not in the mood. Should I really get down on myself for the way this girl acts and how "far" I get with her on any particular day? Umm no.
You have become stuck on this idea of outcome dependence. It stresses you out, rules your mind, you accuse yourself of it at the worst times, and in general lower your own sperm count. Man, outcome dependence is this abstract term that puas made up! It's different for a lot of people. What it basically comes down to, it's fundamental basis, is that you start judging your own value and skills as a person, by how you're doing in your pick-up world. Yet now you're actually doubting yourself, outcome dependence, for having outcome dependence! Geezez.. that's a vicious cycle. It's hilarious bro!
You need more stuff in your life to focus on. Pick up a martial art or some type of hobby- racing, chess, stripping. It's sometimes difficult for a guy to feel unique and fulfilled just for being a human being. Yeah there's a lot of us out there. For the time being, this can't be the thing you base your self-worth off of. You can't put a price on sleep...
You're one of my favorite guys on here, and I want to see you succeed. I feel you're getting bogged down by things you don't need to burden yourself with or experience. You're forcing yourself to adopt certain habits, mentalities, or actions because you think to become a pua you need to force yourself to do things in a certain way. Nope.
If you feel like walking around and staring at chicks then do it. I do it all the time. Not everyone likes me when I walk up to them. I don't always have something smooth to say. Sometimes I'm quiet as shit and I don't feel like talking to anyone. When this happens guess what I do. I don't talk to anyone. And I don't get on myself when I'm not getting attention from a female. There is this one girl, I hit on her every time I see her, which happens to be about once a week. Sometimes she giggles when she sees me, I grab her and tell her about my night, other times she won't even look at me. Most of the time I announce loudly to everyone in the area that "Damn there she is. Hey guys I hit on her every Saturday. Give me a sec.." Other times I just kinda look at her from a distance 'cuz I'm not in the mood. Should I really get down on myself for the way this girl acts and how "far" I get with her on any particular day? Umm no.
You have become stuck on this idea of outcome dependence. It stresses you out, rules your mind, you accuse yourself of it at the worst times, and in general lower your own sperm count. Man, outcome dependence is this abstract term that puas made up! It's different for a lot of people. What it basically comes down to, it's fundamental basis, is that you start judging your own value and skills as a person, by how you're doing in your pick-up world. Yet now you're actually doubting yourself, outcome dependence, for having outcome dependence! Geezez.. that's a vicious cycle. It's hilarious bro!
You need more stuff in your life to focus on. Pick up a martial art or some type of hobby- racing, chess, stripping. It's sometimes difficult for a guy to feel unique and fulfilled just for being a human being. Yeah there's a lot of us out there. For the time being, this can't be the thing you base your self-worth off of. You can't put a price on sleep...
__________________
My free dating advice blog w/ pics, articles, video blogs, and double helpings of debauchery! http://manwhore.org
How to sext !!
Look at manwhore. The guy is so ugly that I think he's face was on fire and they put out the fire using a baseball bet.
But he has the `energy`.
-rsdn
Get the Manwhore Text Displayer app from Google Play. And learn Text Game
I know what you are.
Say it.
Manwhore.
Are you afraid?
No.
You shouldn’t of said that.
I'm the world's best predator, aren't I? Everything about me invites you in - my voice, my face, even my smell. As if I need any of that! As if you could outrun me. As if you could fight me off.
Manwhore
How to sext !!
Look at manwhore. The guy is so ugly that I think he's face was on fire and they put out the fire using a baseball bet.
But he has the `energy`.
-rsdn
Get the Manwhore Text Displayer app from Google Play. And learn Text Game I know what you are.
Say it.
Manwhore.
Are you afraid?
No.
You shouldn’t of said that.
I'm the world's best predator, aren't I? Everything about me invites you in - my voice, my face, even my smell. As if I need any of that! As if you could outrun me. As if you could fight me off.
Manwhore
Manwhore Wrote:
Hey bro,
What it basically comes down to, it's fundamental basis, is that you start judging your own value and skills as a person, by how you're doing in your pick-up world. Yet now you're actually doubting yourself, outcome dependence, for having outcome dependence! Geezez.. that's a vicious cycle. It's hilarious bro!
You need more stuff in your life to focus on. Pick up a martial art or some type of hobby- racing, chess, stripping. It's sometimes difficult for a guy to feel unique and fulfilled just for being a human being. Yeah there's a lot of us out there. For the time being, this can't be the thing you base your self-worth off of. You can't put a price on sleep...
Hey MW,
The way you describe Outcome dependence is very elegant - if there was a PUA dictionary, I'd totally put that definition in there!
I am constantly doubting myself, analysing, judging how I behave in social situations - bu i never thought i did this in set.
I obviously do if i care that much.
I think there is a fine line between self critique and self harm - I'm obviously leaning towards the latter.
I say this because last night I couldn't sleep at all, becasue i was thinking and thinking and thinking... this my friends, is self abuse.
As for things in my life - all i really do have is pick up - i feel so vunerable saying this.
I do have a small business (which I neglect), have a hobby (but is so intertwined with sarging it may as well not count - i wish to learn stage hypnosis) but i am also not too focused on this.
I'm an avid gym goer - 4 times a week. I honestly feel like i do this for myself - not for anyone else's benefit. This is prolly my only real hobby. I've been doing it for several years. I am a total heath freek.
And Mayhem,
My dear friend!
I have no issue with opening, I have no AA.
I can stay consistently in set for at least 20 mins - my s+yle is to come 'under the radar' - I'm just confortable with that.
Is that really an excuse?
I've been trying to be super loud and centre of attention - but that's just not me.
I like to think I have approaching down!
__________________
1% inspiration and 99% perspiration...
Capricorn
Stockholm September '08 Alumni. Representing Ryan and Alex~...
1% inspiration and 99% perspiration...
Capricorn
Stockholm September '08 Alumni. Representing Ryan and Alex~...
Multiple-Serial-Oneitis Wrote:
Hey MW,
The way you describe Outcome dependence is very elegant - if there was a PUA dictionary, I'd totally put that definition in there!
I am constantly doubting myself, analysing, judging how I behave in social situations - bu i never thought i did this in set.
I obviously do if i care that much.
I think there is a fine line between self critique and self harm - I'm obviously leaning towards the latter.
I say this because last night I couldn't sleep at all, becasue i was thinking and thinking and thinking... this my friends, is self abuse.
As for things in my life - all i really do have is pick up - i feel so vunerable saying this.
I do have a small business (which I neglect), have a hobby (but is so intertwined with sarging it may as well not count - i wish to learn stage hypnosis) but i am also not too focused on this.
I'm an avid gym goer - 4 times a week. I honestly feel like i do this for myself - not for anyone else's benefit. This is prolly my only real hobby. I've been doing it for several years. I am a total heath freek.
And Mayhem,
My dear friend!
I have no issue with opening, I have no AA.
I can stay consistently in set for at least 20 mins - my s+yle is to come 'under the radar' - I'm just confortable with that.
Is that really an excuse?
I've been trying to be super loud and centre of attention - but that's just not me.
I like to think I have approaching down!
So many sets and so few successes ? Man... what are you doing wrong ? So you say you're good in the Attraction phase ye? Well, work on the rapport phase then, shift! man SHIFT! so many guys like the laughter and fun they have when teasing girls and then just be "another funny guy, what's his name? ohh, I don´t care anymore, I've forgotten about him..."
But I don´t know where you're lacking, thought you said it wasn´t earlier on, so it's on the later stage of the PU ? that's Rapport, basically...
If you can´t control groups (same here, but I can, just don´t like to, and I'm working on it), then talk to the person outside the group (but still a part of it).. talk to them and slowly draw those who give you attention into the convo... that's how you would escelate the group controling, so it won´t be so unatural...
But let me ask you something ? You got friends ? What kind of friends are they ? Positive, outgoing, successful ? NO? DROP THEM !
Since the only reason for you to breath is PU, then you have to dump the negitive ones out of your life. Go out one night, I DARE YOU, and just try to make some cool guy-friends... very easy, have a blast and then call him/them up at another time and go out with them and have a BLAST, but include PU.
Tell me how that works for you, I dumped these loser rocker friends, which I liked very much, but you have to sacrifice man, to get the ultimate aspiration.
If you reach 2000 sets and only 2 BJ's, be gay dude :D:p
__________________
Papa Wrote:
You will conquer your fear around women as you get more and more field experience. This is the key to overcoming any challenge and obstacle. It's about developing new reference points so that your intution, skillset, and calibration with women get better.
Amen!! :)
Danny Ocean Wrote:
Awesome MSO! I'm really glad that my exercise helped you isolate and identify the feeling of outcome dependence.
Here's the exercise for everyone else:
-Call every HB in your phone at around 10 in the morning. Usually they won't pick up at this time and you'll be forced to leave a msg. If they do pick up, then chat for a second if you'd like or do what MSO did and just hang up.
-Leave a generic message: "Hey HB this is PUA, call me back."
-Then turn your phone on silent and put it in a place where you can't see if someone is calling. This can be in your pocket, in a drawer, upside down on a table, etc.
You will notice a certain anxiety urging you to check your phone to see if any of the HB's have called you back. This feeling of urgency is your level of outcome dependence. Resist this feeling and find ways to deal with it, ignore it, fight it, etc. Don't check your phone, and if you do, mark down the time.
This will help you identify outcome dependence so you may realize what it is when it’s happening, just as MSO did in the club tonight. Overcoming outcome dependence is a long process of self discovery and learning self validation. Once you can identify it, it will become easier to fight. After all, knowing is half the battle. (GI JOE!!!)
~Danny
__________________
And here we...go.
Laer Wrote:
So many sets and so few successes ? Man... what are you doing wrong ? So you say you're good in the Attraction phase ye? Well, work on the rapport phase then, shift! man SHIFT! so many guys like the laughter and fun they have when teasing girls and then just be "another funny guy, what's his name? ohh, I don´t care anymore, I've forgotten about him..."
But I don´t know where you're lacking, thought you said it wasn´t earlier on, so it's on the later stage of the PU ? that's Rapport, basically...
If you can´t control groups (same here, but I can, just don´t like to, and I'm working on it), then talk to the person outside the group (but still a part of it).. talk to them and slowly draw those who give you attention into the convo... that's how you would escelate the group controling, so it won´t be so unatural...
But let me ask you something ? You got friends ? What kind of friends are they ? Positive, outgoing, successful ? NO? DROP THEM !
Since the only reason for you to breath is PU, then you have to dump the negitive ones out of your life. Go out one night, I DARE YOU, and just try to make some cool guy-friends... very easy, have a blast and then call him/them up at another time and go out with them and have a BLAST, but include PU.
Tell me how that works for you, I dumped these loser rocker friends, which I liked very much, but you have to sacrifice man, to get the ultimate aspiration.
If you reach 2000 sets and only 2 BJ's, be gay dude :D:p
Yeah, I won't lie.
It's all about rapport with me - I'm shit at it.
Also i meet 'new friends' all the time. I have totally removed myself from my 'negative' friends.
It means I don't have as many freinds (not that i have cut them out, but i choose not to hang everyt day), but higher quality one.
__________________
1% inspiration and 99% perspiration...
Capricorn
Stockholm September '08 Alumni. Representing Ryan and Alex~...
1% inspiration and 99% perspiration...
Capricorn
Stockholm September '08 Alumni. Representing Ryan and Alex~...
Cool man, that's really cool.
Then try to get more cool friends. Do like Tyler said, go out, mingle with like 10 dudes and get their number: "Hey man, you're fucking awesome, we have to hang out some time, what's your number?"...
Rapport is real simple, but it takes guts to go there and it's about coming out of your head like crazy. Read:
http://www.realsocialdynamics.com/community/showthread.php?t=87
It's called "how to really pick up", it's simple yet effective...
But I'm fucking ecstatic you know what your weakness is man! DEMN, that's the most important step... now, try after 20 min or so of good attraction, to start telling a little more intimate stories, then ask her about it so you can relate and then continue. It's real easy, just shift your energy after isolation and become more down to earth and bond... Be happy about it when she shares a story or something about herself, she'll be more encouraged to share more, kino regularly without giving attention while doing it (e.g. looking at your hand, or where you'll put it, bad move). Tell us how that goes, after a honest attempt to get rapport. Since you're so demn admirable, going out so much and just plowing, really loving it. So this won´t be so much of a thing for you to try since you're always out practicing...
WOW, I like your persistance man, demn... you'll succeed, trust me..
Then try to get more cool friends. Do like Tyler said, go out, mingle with like 10 dudes and get their number: "Hey man, you're fucking awesome, we have to hang out some time, what's your number?"...
Rapport is real simple, but it takes guts to go there and it's about coming out of your head like crazy. Read:
http://www.realsocialdynamics.com/community/showthread.php?t=87
It's called "how to really pick up", it's simple yet effective...
But I'm fucking ecstatic you know what your weakness is man! DEMN, that's the most important step... now, try after 20 min or so of good attraction, to start telling a little more intimate stories, then ask her about it so you can relate and then continue. It's real easy, just shift your energy after isolation and become more down to earth and bond... Be happy about it when she shares a story or something about herself, she'll be more encouraged to share more, kino regularly without giving attention while doing it (e.g. looking at your hand, or where you'll put it, bad move). Tell us how that goes, after a honest attempt to get rapport. Since you're so demn admirable, going out so much and just plowing, really loving it. So this won´t be so much of a thing for you to try since you're always out practicing...
WOW, I like your persistance man, demn... you'll succeed, trust me..
__________________
Papa Wrote:
You will conquer your fear around women as you get more and more field experience. This is the key to overcoming any challenge and obstacle. It's about developing new reference points so that your intution, skillset, and calibration with women get better.
Laer Wrote:
Cool man, that's really cool.
Then try to get more cool friends. Do like Tyler said, go out, mingle with like 10 dudes and get their number: "Hey man, you're fucking awesome, we have to hang out some time, what's your number?"...
Rapport is real simple, but it takes guts to go there and it's about coming out of your head like crazy. Read:
http://www.realsocialdynamics.com/community/showthread.php?t=87
It's called "how to really pick up", it's simple yet effective...
But I'm fucking ecstatic you know what your weakness is man! DEMN, that's the most important step... now, try after 20 min or so of good attraction, to start telling a little more intimate stories, then ask her about it so you can relate and then continue. It's real easy, just shift your energy after isolation and become more down to earth and bond... Be happy about it when she shares a story or something about herself, she'll be more encouraged to share more, kino regularly without giving attention while doing it (e.g. looking at your hand, or where you'll put it, bad move). Tell us how that goes, after a honest attempt to get rapport. Since you're so demn admirable, going out so much and just plowing, really loving it. So this won´t be so much of a thing for you to try since you're always out practicing...
WOW, I like your persistance man, demn... you'll succeed, trust me..
Thanks for your encouragement bruv.
You know I haven't gone through any of Tylers articles!?
Where are my reading glasses...?
__________________
1% inspiration and 99% perspiration...
Capricorn
Stockholm September '08 Alumni. Representing Ryan and Alex~...
1% inspiration and 99% perspiration...
Capricorn
Stockholm September '08 Alumni. Representing Ryan and Alex~...
Capricorn®
Respected Member
Join Date: 11/16/2006 | Posts: 739
But I knew once I was in a good set, I’d feel fine.
So went in the bar opened a 1 set ran some game on her, bf came along and made mates with him.
She was attracted – did a take away.
Then I had the ‘feeling’.
It was a feeling of overwhelming need to open. I needed to sarge.
After all, I’m out all alone; what else am I supposed to do?
I felt like shit.
One of my objectives to reach my goal of outcome independence is that I don’t scan the room – I always do this.
We all know what this communicates.
I stopped my self from looking around. But it still naturally happens.
I tried standing in the same place for as long as I could – walking around is just as bad as scanning the room.
But I moved.
I saw HBs. But logistics prevented me from opening – i.e. one was with possessive man, other was in a corner (toooo much interest if I open).
I saw a 7 set with a HB8supercute walk in.
Tried my hardest not to look at them. Stood my ground.
I sat down around the dance floor facing it. 7 set sat behind me in a corner.
A HB7 sat next to me but little far for me to talk to.
So I just watched the band play.
This feeling was awful – no scanning. I felt like I was preventing my progress by not opening.
But then I realised what this feeling was.
OUTCOME DEPENDENCE.
Danny Ocean gave me an exercise to do (phone game) and made me realise that I was totally outcome dependent when I make these calls.
I realised that this was the exact same feeling.
It’s weird, but once I knew that – I let it go (using my Steve P hyp trick).
Once I let it go, I totally wasn’t squirming, scanning, feeling the need to open.
I thought I had solid inner game (after 1000 sets and only 1 bj you’d have to!), but I now realise my whole game is riddled with outcome dependence!
Once I recognised the feeling and said bye to it. I was a lot more relaxed – I sat in the chair with positive open body language and tranced out to the band – I was listening to music. I didn’t care. I liked that.
I felt a little more comfortable with my self.
I think I am so in need of success, I am actually prevent myself from getting it – this feeling out outcome dependence, I think, may be making me come across as desperate.
I opened the 7 set and a guy in his 40’s was gaming the HB8supercute so I simply got a chewing gum of one of the obstacles and went home.
Couldn’t be bothered, wanted to write this.
So thank DO and all the other guys helping me with my quest – you know who you are.
1% inspiration and 99% perspiration...
Capricorn
Stockholm September '08 Alumni. Representing Ryan and Alex~...