THE FORUMS

December 6th, 2016
Being-The-Party VS Worming-Into-Their-Party
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Tyler

Tyler

Instructor | Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 8738

To me this is the KEY distinction in all your approaches.

Being the party is a fundamental aspect of "OFFERING VALUE".

If you analyze ALL your interactions with girls through that lens, you'll see that being the party is like being a MAGNET whereas trying to get into their party is like being a REPELLENT.

Next time you go out try analyzing everything you did through that simple lense of "Was I trying to get into THEIR party, or was I the party?"

It will pretty much all make sense.


Tyler
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#1
MySelf

MySelf

Senior Member

Join Date: 09/10/2006 | Posts: 168

That's an awesome way of looking at it! Thanks for posting this Tyler. :)
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#2

SuperCharged

Junior Member

Join Date: 10/05/2006 | Posts: 23

You're so sexy tyler, i luv you hunnie.
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#3

mooky

Senior Member

Join Date: 09/20/2006 | Posts: 173

Mmmm, I think this explains a set that didn't go as planned this weekend for me...or maybe not - lets take a look.

I'm in line at the club with a friend who has no game, but he's good looking. Not chode/AFC, but just no game. I didn't tell him we were going to PU, I just kinda let him watch and see for himself. Two HB7's behind us in line, and they're talking like this;

HBblonde: How much is cover HBbrunette?
HBbrunette: I dunno, just gimme the fifty (she pulls out fifty CENTS)
Me: aww fuck man, i thought you guys were BALLIN (act out the fade away a la Jim Jones style), then you show me this stuff (pointing to change in her hand).
HBblonde: teehee blablabla so funny
Me: it's okay though, we're still friends right guys?
Hbbrunette: yea! for sure, hehehehe
Me: yeah, but ONLY friends, i get uncomfortable when the relationship escalates too quickly...friends before lovers, or else you KNOW we're gonna end up on Maury in a week.

Anyways, I pump them up, get them giggling, kino is present, my buddy has his jaw on the floor, and then when we finally get to the front of the line, i chat them for another 30 seconds in coatcheck, then...POOF...

They dissapear into the club, and I catch glimpses of them for the next 2.5 hours, but any attempts to re-engage them are failures. They have gone ADD CLUB CHICK on me.

I think it was the same thing you've posted - I was trying to get in on THEIR party, instead of BRINGING the party. I think its an unconscious thing, because I did other sets well, and I didn't come across as trying to get in their party.

It's all good though - my night ended well. Insta-date w/ day2 plans, and a FLOORED/FLABARGASTED buddy.
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#4
Dre321

Dre321

Respected Member

Join Date: 10/02/2006 | Posts: 615

Does this imply doing short sets/ bouncing from one set to the next?

If you're the party, would you recommend being all over the place or is it still applicable if you open one set that hooks really well, and you're the party IN THAT SET. Any thoughts?
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#5
Gunner

Gunner

Trusted Member

Join Date: 09/27/2006 | Posts: 1022

Tyler you forgot something i've heard you say many many times which basically (in this context) frames an "opener" is an invitation to your party, not an attempt to get into theirs.

Other than that, though, ill start using this "party" frame i think it could be quite useful!
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#6
Slojodan

Slojodan

Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/22/2006 | Posts: 1003

At the same time, I think that "worming into their party" is a big step for a lot of guys who are new at this. If you can get invited along to wherever they're going, or "get pulled" as opposed to "pull," I think that's a good thing. Especially if you're going out alone or with a wing, it might be a good opportunity to get on with the current social event going on.
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To all, thanks for reading.

If you'd like to know how I got to this mindframe, read my post:  How to Choose an Inner Game Program
If you're curious on how to meditate:  Meditation Made Easy
Recommends Release Technique, Sedona Method, and EFT
Please read the Meditation thread before PMing me with a question.  Thank you.
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#7
steini

steini

Member

Join Date: 09/17/2006 | Posts: 70

Whooooooooooooooooooooo's the paaaaaaaaarty?

Weeeeeeeee're the PARTY!!!!!!!

:D
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