THE FORUMS

December 10th, 2016
Succeeding in spite of your negativity.
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Ozzie

Ozzie

Instructor | Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 2529

For the longest time I had been a negative person aka a realist, but just since a while back I decided to become positive. I had enough already. I would beat myself to death after minor mistakes, would consider most people were out to hurt me, would feel depressed even after successes, always on the look out for those negative spots in every experience, a “realist” etc. But one thing that surprise me was how I could survive all these years and even score major successes in my life be it business or pu despite of being a negative person.

Simple reason: I was a doer. I would take action even when every ounce in my body was telling me to stop and is not worth it. somehow I knew that to get something done you needed to take action and have a plan. This is what happened. I succeeded this way. Yes, you can succeed despite of yourself if you act and have a plan. Yet this is not real success.

It all starts here. Problem is that society deems successful those people who make it economically. It is all about the money. Life isn’t all about the money as we know.
You see very self destructive celebrities all the time. Singers, actors, politicians, athletes who are at the pinnacle of their careers however they are still self destructive or engage in some form or manner of self destruction or self sabotage, take drugs, live on the edge, etc.. It makes me think. Those people succeeded despite of themselves. It doesn’t make sense! Yes, it makes sense. When it comes to their job, those people would take action. The thing is they were successful only in one area of their lives. Which means no success at all. To be truly successful you have to be successful in all areas of your life. Then you are a successful person. One of the areas is mental cleanliness. Money, though not bad in itself, can exacerbate and magnify the worst traits in your personality. If you are reclusive it will make you a hermit. If you like drugs, it will make you a drug addict. If you have a reckless sex life it will make you ten times reckless. If you are prone to people´s validation it will make you an attention whore: you will buy Ferraris, big houses, etc just to get people´s validation.

Same with pick up, if you hate women, once you have game=power you will be ten times hater. You will take any opportunity you have “to get back” at them. If you don’t like people, you will make sure you ridicule everybody with amog lines and tactics and use negs on women just to put them down. You will hate other guys with game, secretly be jealous of what they have or the girls they score. You will try to make comments on the web to covertly/openly their credibility.

It means anybody can have success in this area of your life(pu) but not be a successful person. Most people I know have success with women but few are successful. very few are happy with what they have and still “crave” what others have. It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t set higher goals. Definitely do. But don’t crave, specially other´s success. It is a loser behaviour. Craving takes your energy away. Being inspired to higher personal goals will soothe you and calm you down. I will take inspiration vs craving any day.
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#1
Papa

Papa

Instructor | Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 5292

I love these glimpses into the head of Ozzie. Thanks, man.
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#2

Jose Armando

Trusted Member

Join Date: 09/18/2006 | Posts: 1065

.
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#3
Koolaid

Koolaid

Trusted Member

Join Date: 03/02/2007 | Posts: 2245

So as long as I take action things will happen? I also used to be and probably still am a "realist" in a negative way. I'm starting to improve I think, but pretty often I just feel terrible because I feel like I'm going out so often and putting myself through uncomfortable situations for something that isn't showing results. It's ridiculous, I'm facing my fears like crazy and it feels like it's for nothing.

I am seeing some results... I can approach... Sometimes with confidence, sometimes without. I can somewhat do spontaneous amusing conversation now. My sets are opening more receptively and once in awhile something hooks... but the realist in me is screaming. He's saying wtf are you doing going out so often and what do you have to show for it? No day2's. Obviously no F-closes. No real results. I have this gut feeling that people who don't try 1/10th as hard as me get way better results.

I feel like I'm losing faith in the fact that going out and opening sets is making my social skills any better or really doing anything. I'm gonna keep it up of course because talking to women is the probably only way to ever get better at talking to women, but I just don't have that comfort while I'm doing it that what I'm doing is gonna ever accomplish anything. When I go to the gym I know that lifting weights is making my damn muscles bigger. I don't have that confidence here talking to women.
__________________
Jeffy Bootcamp Alumnus Oct 30-Nov 1, 2009
http://www.rsdnation.com/node/138865

Life changing self-esteem article by Tyler
http://www.rsdnation.com/showthread.php?t=12471

Excellent post about practice and consistency by Ozzie. Really hits home.
http://www.rsdnation.com/showthread.php?t=13223

Field report thread.
http://rsdnation.com/node/127554
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#4
Thomas Anderson

Thomas Anderson

Respected Member

Join Date: 03/14/2007 | Posts: 625

good post Oz, the insight is appreciated
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#5

lazycat

Senior Member

Join Date: 06/22/2007 | Posts: 218

Very interesting!

I also think that if one is negative, then it takes more work to succeed, since now you have to overcome not just circumstances, but yourself is well.

Having critical ability is valuable, however, it just tends to get out of control too easily. One should let it do that!
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#6
Psyfa

Psyfa

Respected Member

Join Date: 03/02/2007 | Posts: 824

Jedi Wrote:
Another classic from the great man!...


Exactly, that's why I rsdwiki this crazy post.
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Good bye everyone.

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#7

lazycat

Senior Member

Join Date: 06/22/2007 | Posts: 218

noneotherthan Wrote:
There's really no other way around it. You will go through some bad times. Really bad times. It's no secret, but if you just keep going at it things have a way of "clicking". You're gonna through hard times. Times of no money, no chicks, no hope, no nothing but yourself, and you're going to have to keep walking. If you're alive enough to take that extra step forward, that's all you need.


I think the choice is actually quite easy, since what else are you going to do ?!? Sit at home watch TV ? Play computer games ? As Hoobie said in "Transformations", the time will pass anyway. So you either (a) sit it out in your comfort zone and eventually die unsatisfied, or (b) keep crashing and burning, until you get somewhere. Even if you do not ever get anywhere, still choice (b) is more appealing, since at least you are gave it all you got.

Personally, I even stopped giving this thing any more thoughts, since there is actually no alternative if you really think about it! The clock is always ticking, regardless of whether you are out, or sitting on your ass at home.
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#8
the_wildcard

the_wildcard

Senior Member

Join Date: 11/11/2007 | Posts: 243

yo ozzie.. im loving your articles man
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My ultra sexual self when projected to its fullest extent is utterly irresistable
========================================
I go sarging a lot :D

Jose told me to get rid of my signature because stats fuck with you....

I think it has something to do with "You must lose everything before your free to do anything"..

click, click, click...

BOOM..

thats the only way i'm hitting sets from now on
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#9

Elan

Respected Member

Join Date: 10/13/2007 | Posts: 566

Excellent post.

JNLC, I know that feeling as well. I've been busting my ass for the last month and a half, 3-5 nights a week, spending a lot of money, energy and time, and I feel like I have fuck-all to show for it. I'm running out of money, but I'm not giving up. I know that I'm learning SOMETHING every time I go out, even if I'm not getting lays, makeouts, etc every single time.

Think about it like training to be a fighter. When you go out and get horribly rejected and shot down and crash and burn and go home wanting to kill yourself (extreme example, obviously), as long as you wake up the next morning, you're only increased your pain threshold. If you're a fighter, and you're practicing strikes against a punching bag, or a tree, or a wall, or someone's face, any given strike is probably not going to knock them out, break the bag, knock down the tree, etc. You're conditioning your body to take that level of punishment, and you're learning technique. When you wake up the next morning with two sore elbows and a big welt on your forehead, don't think about what you didn't accomplish. Don't think about each strike that didn't KO your enemy. Think about how you're now tougher, stronger and more experienced and the next time you fight, how much better you'll be.

It's really hard to focus on the positives when there are more negatives, but all that matters is which you indulge. Remember, failure is the #1 cause of success. Sounds loony, but it's true. If I go out and talk to one hundred women, here's what can happen. 25 ignore me. 25 are in committed relationships. 25 of them open, but don't like me. 10 open, like me, but I blow it anyway. 5 open, like me, but their fat friend doesnt so I lose the hook, 5 open, like me, their friends like me, but I don't really like THEM, 3 go to Isolation but no further, 1 goes to a makeout but no further, and one I bring home and reward with the best sex she's had in years.

The point is, failure can come from any avenue. THings out of your control, things in your control, things you should do but don't, things you shouldn't do but you do anyway...It only takes ONE. In my mind, the purpose of pickup is to improve your conversion ratio. If it takes you 1000 :: 1, or 10,000 :: 1 ,you're not getting laid much. If you're 50 :: 1, you're probably pretty good. If you're 1 :: 1, you're using Roophies.

Even if you're what I would consider an AMAZING 25 :: 1 (you could basically go out and get laid within the hour in a good venue), that's still 24 times you're FUCKING FAILING. If a baseball player only reached base one out of 25 times, he'd be sent back to the minors. If a basketball player missed 24 out of 25 times, he'd be fired. Pickup is one of those areas that has a very low level of required success as compared to the number of attempts made. If you are the type who focuses on the failures, you're going to have a LOT to think about. Most of it won't even be stuff you can learn from.

Just keep hammering away. The more you want to give up, the more you should do it.
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#10
Koolaid

Koolaid

Trusted Member

Join Date: 03/02/2007 | Posts: 2245

Elan Wrote:
Excellent post.

JNLC, I know that feeling as well. I've been busting my ass for the last month and a half, 3-5 nights a week, spending a lot of money, energy and time, and I feel like I have fuck-all to show for it. I'm running out of money, but I'm not giving up. I know that I'm learning SOMETHING every time I go out, even if I'm not getting lays, makeouts, etc every single time.

Think about it like training to be a fighter. When you go out and get horribly rejected and shot down and crash and burn and go home wanting to kill yourself (extreme example, obviously), as long as you wake up the next morning, you're only increased your pain threshold. If you're a fighter, and you're practicing strikes against a punching bag, or a tree, or a wall, or someone's face, any given strike is probably not going to knock them out, break the bag, knock down the tree, etc. You're conditioning your body to take that level of punishment, and you're learning technique. When you wake up the next morning with two sore elbows and a big welt on your forehead, don't think about what you didn't accomplish. Don't think about each strike that didn't KO your enemy. Think about how you're now tougher, stronger and more experienced and the next time you fight, how much better you'll be.

It's really hard to focus on the positives when there are more negatives, but all that matters is which you indulge. Remember, failure is the #1 cause of success. Sounds loony, but it's true. If I go out and talk to one hundred women, here's what can happen. 25 ignore me. 25 are in committed relationships. 25 of them open, but don't like me. 10 open, like me, but I blow it anyway. 5 open, like me, but their fat friend doesnt so I lose the hook, 5 open, like me, their friends like me, but I don't really like THEM, 3 go to Isolation but no further, 1 goes to a makeout but no further, and one I bring home and reward with the best sex she's had in years.

The point is, failure can come from any avenue. THings out of your control, things in your control, things you should do but don't, things you shouldn't do but you do anyway...It only takes ONE. In my mind, the purpose of pickup is to improve your conversion ratio. If it takes you 1000 :: 1, or 10,000 :: 1 ,you're not getting laid much. If you're 50 :: 1, you're probably pretty good. If you're 1 :: 1, you're using Roophies.

Even if you're what I would consider an AMAZING 25 :: 1 (you could basically go out and get laid within the hour in a good venue), that's still 24 times you're FUCKING FAILING. If a baseball player only reached base one out of 25 times, he'd be sent back to the minors. If a basketball player missed 24 out of 25 times, he'd be fired. Pickup is one of those areas that has a very low level of required success as compared to the number of attempts made. If you are the type who focuses on the failures, you're going to have a LOT to think about. Most of it won't even be stuff you can learn from.

Just keep hammering away. The more you want to give up, the more you should do it.


Good point. Haha I will do =)
__________________
Jeffy Bootcamp Alumnus Oct 30-Nov 1, 2009
http://www.rsdnation.com/node/138865

Life changing self-esteem article by Tyler
http://www.rsdnation.com/showthread.php?t=12471

Excellent post about practice and consistency by Ozzie. Really hits home.
http://www.rsdnation.com/showthread.php?t=13223

Field report thread.
http://rsdnation.com/node/127554
Login or register to post.