THE FORUMS

December 6th, 2016
Frustration
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Ozzie

Ozzie

Instructor | Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 2529

Frustration is OFTEN the result of having unrealistic goals.

In baseball (I have practiced amateur/semipro baseball for the last 10 years, I stopped this year)it means stepping up to the plate an wanting a hit or a homerun in every at bat. Trying to emulate ing Barry Bonds every time you face a pitcher. Pressure is unbearable because you are competing against the top guys in the world and you are just an amateur trying to act professional. The result is downward spiral of frustration, which will get you down and lower than low every time you fail. As a result, confidence is resented and eventually lost. That was me for the longest time.

In pu it means going to a club and trying to emulate ing jlaix or td or any other guy, wanting insta make outs, pulls, etc. rollercoaster starts: if you get the make out you are on the top of the wave, if you don’t you fall into pits of shame. More often than not you will be dragged down into failure by failing to meet the high standards you have put for yourself. Who is at fault? YOU, and only you. However, most guys start looking for rationalization, such and such method or line doesn’t do it for me, or that method sucks because it has too much x and y. It was not the method. It was YOU all the way. You failed to set realistic goals for yourself. You are frustrated.

COMPETING WITH YOURSELF.
I am always winning in pu because I always compete against myself. I compete against me a year ago, against me 2 months ago. And guess what? I am always n1. you are the guy you should be always competing against. Your old you. There is no way you can feel bad about your performance that way. You will pass the next guy and you wont even notice because you will be so focused on yourself.

I remember when I first started I only had a couple of lines memorized and I thought I was so ready for pu. I always remember my first night: a couple of e-mails and one phone number. Cool. All of them flaked on my . I even got angry when the girl of my only number flaked on my day 2. funny in retrospect. Who cares?

I have formed the habit of never judging my performance based on my last set or my last lay. It is a habit and it takes time to be developed. There is a great urge to think that our last set is our level in the game. You are only as good as your last set. No way. You are as good as you can be right now.

what chu talking about
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#1

kiwi!

Senior Member

Join Date: 09/14/2006 | Posts: 165

Really cool post, and i can totally relate! I have gotten a bit out of state or pissed at myself if i dont get numbers / kisses on a night out, or for a couple of nights in a row, then i kind of think - right back to basics, ill just open as many sets as possible push them if they are going well or eject, save my state and hit the next if not. when im in this frame of mind i have much more fun on a night out than when im trying to live up to some standard ive set myself, and i now really enjoy just playing the game.

Kiwi
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#2
Shameless

Shameless

Respected Member

Join Date: 08/22/2006 | Posts: 332

I hear you dude. Still, I find it difficult to set myself realistic goals that still push me to greatness. Ok, so if I set myself the goal to always go for the makeout, I will tighten up, things will work worse and I will just have regular sets that night.

But if I relax too much, e.g. only set the goal to isolate, I will be much more relaxed, will have a better night, but when the moment comes I will not go for the k-close. As always, it's difficult to find the middle line...
Definitely, it helps me a lot comparing myself only against myself, that way I can see progress and I get motivated to keep going, even after a bad night...
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#3
Gamble

Gamble

Member

Join Date: 08/22/2006 | Posts: 37

Thank You for your contribution.

I found ALOT of value in that short post.
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#4
Ozzie

Ozzie

Instructor | Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 2529

Wannabe Wrote:
I hear you dude. Still, I find it difficult to set myself realistic goals that still push me to greatness. Ok, so if I set myself the goal to always go for the makeout, I will tighten up, things will work worse and I will just have regular sets that night.

But if I relax too much, e.g. only set the goal to isolate, I will be much more relaxed, will have a better night, but when the moment comes I will not go for the k-close. As always, it's difficult to find the middle line...
Definitely, it helps me a lot comparing myself only against myself, that way I can see progress and I get motivated to keep going, even after a bad night...



well, during program i pushed you to pull that girl back in Barcelona and make out with her(which you did brilliantly, how many sets was that, 2 sets?) because i wanted you to go through the motions of pulling a girl from a club and get her on the beach and basically her, etc(the night before we had extracted 2 girls from Catwalk club in my car but we couldnt close the deal). that was program. i thought your game was already there and i wanted to show you could that and do something out of your comfort zone. i knew you could open and hold sets from day one. so that was not an issue anymore. you also benefitted from having me 1 on 1, etc.

however, when you go out now, it is not program. it is your life now. you are not under my orders anymore. ha, ha. now, you should get all the tension out of your shoulders. go there and enjoy the ride because tension in your game will up your sets. it should look effortless for an outsider. the biggest compliment i get from my students is when they tell me my game looks effortless because that´s how it is supposed to look like.

i hate all the pick up guru bull creepy retarded . i am so over that now. i want my guys to become what i am now within the realms of their own identity or personality. just cool and sociable with a punch for closing at the right time. and i mean that. i train closers at every level of game. that´s my mission right now. still it has to look effortless and cool. i think td calls it "finness".

all in all all your dreams of "greatness"(that´s what you call it) are gonna be realized anyway if you are chill and are not outcome oriented.

red ing bull pimp

take care,
what chu talking about
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#5
Shameless

Shameless

Respected Member

Join Date: 08/22/2006 | Posts: 332

Hi Ozzie (is your alias really Ox?),

thank you for pushing me that night, it really changed all my perceptions about what is possible in this game - and about what is possible for me!

I'm working on integrating all lessons from bootcamp into my day-to-day sarging: more energy, more fun, be in the moment, talk louder (I shout in my car to train my voice :-), more kino. It's tougher without you pushing me, so I take it slowly and that way maintain my chill and gradually make it congruent.

I definitely try to get a 'closer' mentality. I find it more difficult to go for the # on a high, when you think that it might kill your set (when they are leaving you have nothing to lose...), but it actually works (got a day2 set up for today)!

I think that the most important for me is to relax and to enjoy, so I will set my goals quite low (isolate in each target). Then I just have to remember that when a set works reasonably well I need to get my balls together and escalate. I'm on my way to greatness ;-)

Good luck in London, just don't forget your Spanish and your salsa!
Wannabe
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#6
Ozzie

Ozzie

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Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 2529

Wannabe Wrote:
Hi Ozzie (is your alias really Ox?),

Wannabe


yes. ox used to be my handle. i still post under that.

basically you dont want to stablish goals and then obssess ABOUT THEM IN SET. when you are in set, try to add value to the interaction and let the chips fall where they may. i know it is a little counterintuitive like most of this game anyway.
on the one hand, we must have goals but on the other you have to be able to let go of them in set so you are not "worried" about them.

see you back in spain
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#7
Ozzie

Ozzie

Instructor | Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 2529

Wannabe Wrote:
Hi Ozzie (is your alias really Ox?),

thank you for pushing me that night, it really changed all my perceptions about what is possible in this game - and about what is possible for me!


just wanted you to feel the power of pulling a chick from the club, which you did brilliantly. you could have made out earlier. that´s for sure.

what chu talking about
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#8
Capricorn®

Capricorn®

Respected Member

Join Date: 11/16/2006 | Posts: 733

Compete against yourself.

Let me get my jounal...
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1% inspiration and 99% perspiration...

Capricorn



Stockholm September '08 Alumni. Representing Ryan and Alex~...
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#9
Snyper

Snyper

Respected Member

Join Date: 10/06/2006 | Posts: 810

Good stuff Ozzie,

Competing with yourself is key. Ive had trouble framing a night as a "good night" only if i closed. Beginning side effect of closer mentality, i suppose.

Club makeouts, Club fingering, etc werent a close. Numbercloses are for newbs. Email closes? Pssh whats the point. Brought 3 girls back to my place with a wing, then he fucked it up. Disappointment. At least at first.

That was the old me, about 2 months ago. Now, everything is a positive. Everything is for fun.

I compete with myself at such a rate, that my level of game 2mo ago doesnt compare.

Snyper
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#10

Lowrider69

Respected Member

Join Date: 10/08/2006 | Posts: 633

Ozzie Wrote:

I have formed the habit of never judging my performance based on my last set or my last lay. It is a habit and it takes time to be developed. There is a great urge to think that our last set is our level in the game. You are only as good as your last set. No way. You are as good as you can be right now.

what chu talking about



Nice... i love that last line... fuck the last set... it doesn't matter... the next set could be INCREDIBLE...

These days i'm ONLY competing against myself... i want to give 110% and i want to improve my personal sticking points... thats all.

I'll model bits and pieces from other guys, but at the end of the day, i love WHO I AM and what i bring to the table... and girls love it too.

shades


cheers,
Lowrider
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