THE FORUMS
"Cling to topics" is my middle name, hahahaha. Thanks for the revelation!
Papa Wrote:
Interesting... This is actually very astute.
In this post I'd like to specifically discuss social vibing and insecurity (a very focused, but important piece of the puzzle).
...
Social interactions have features and customs that I suppose are designed to make them pleasant....People who break the vibe are considered socially unintelligent, and despite being perhaps very good/worthwhile people, they will come across poorly...So what's the difference between someone who is COOL and someone who is UNCOOL?
Not to take anything away from your post, but modern linguistics has pretty much covered all of this and more. Anyone wishing to go deeper, or get the full story (or more of the story) might want to check out absolutely all of Deborah Tannen's work. Tannen is a very renowned linguist with several popular books written for a general audience...
In fact, if you've been through high school or college in the last fifteen years, you've probably heard of her You Just Don't Understand: Men and Women in Conversation. Probably her most read work, it details for both genders the overt/hidden rapport stuff outlined above, as well as what you guys would probably call AMOG stuff -- how the way we communicate establishes us as leaders or followers. I had to read it in high school (and her more scholarly stuff in college), and a lot of it has stuck with me. Always interesting to kind of see other people making the same discoveries.
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this will definelty help out my game man...ive done so many of the things you said not to do...without realizing it was meant to create a vibe and not a chance for me to prove my smarts...thanks alot dude
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“When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you.” - African Proverb
"Girls are predominantly going for guys that are 'hot'. Hot is not good looking, they are different things." -10Pin
"At the end of the day I rather be hated for what I am then loved for what I'm not." -Kanye West
"Girls are predominantly going for guys that are 'hot'. Hot is not good looking, they are different things." -10Pin
"At the end of the day I rather be hated for what I am then loved for what I'm not." -Kanye West
HUGE BLIND SPOT; great post
im gathering from this that by letting someone else feel good about themselves and not having to consistantly one up them, you are conveying a lot of positives about yourself... thats especially not needy.
as far as letting a girl game you, im taking that like its an internal appreciation more than a verbal appreciation for her doing her part in the interaction.
im gathering from this that by letting someone else feel good about themselves and not having to consistantly one up them, you are conveying a lot of positives about yourself... thats especially not needy.
as far as letting a girl game you, im taking that like its an internal appreciation more than a verbal appreciation for her doing her part in the interaction.
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" the training is nothing.... the will is everything.
the will to act... "
- Ra's Al Ghul
the will to act... "
- Ra's Al Ghul
awesome post
When you focus on the pick up.. you become outcome dependent.. let the chips fall where they may.
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Bootcamp of Champions - Mar' 09! Austin Resurrection Crew ! - Embrace Uncertainty
Ozzie - July '09 - London - Destroy your social self and become you.
"In those moments that most people say I can't, most people say self preservation, most people say what if?... We say "What if?" the other way. What if you land it? What if it is possible?" - Travis Pastrana - X Games Movie
"i'm not in this world to live you up to your expectations. And your not in this world to live up to mine." - Bruce Lee
If you are taking more action than anyone else, why should you care about their opinion?" ~Derek
"I want to see the world through my own eyes not in the reflection of others." - Mine
"While you standing around looking dumb. I make it happen, taking action over time. Got damn good at it too!" - T.I.
Ozzie - July '09 - London - Destroy your social self and become you.
"In those moments that most people say I can't, most people say self preservation, most people say what if?... We say "What if?" the other way. What if you land it? What if it is possible?" - Travis Pastrana - X Games Movie
"i'm not in this world to live you up to your expectations. And your not in this world to live up to mine." - Bruce Lee
If you are taking more action than anyone else, why should you care about their opinion?" ~Derek
"I want to see the world through my own eyes not in the reflection of others." - Mine
"While you standing around looking dumb. I make it happen, taking action over time. Got damn good at it too!" - T.I.
omg.....................................
I feel as though I've read so much material over the years (this is not to imply that I'm good at PU, just saying I've read too much) that I never thought I'd experience another ah-ha moment....
This post provided me with that ah-ha moment.
Is it strange that I also feel sad in my new found enlightenment?
I feel as though I've read so much material over the years (this is not to imply that I'm good at PU, just saying I've read too much) that I never thought I'd experience another ah-ha moment....
This post provided me with that ah-ha moment.
Is it strange that I also feel sad in my new found enlightenment?
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I was just saved by this fucking post. Thnx papa... darn I had no idea I did that untill I read it... another gap in my life I have to fill. Nways thanks A lot.
Cheers
Cheers
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If change is initiated it is eminent that it will persist. Whenever you go back to your old self, catch yourself and reform.
I get that feeling man, I almost feel like I haven't been a decent person to be around all these years. Thanks Papa, this post was the biggest wake up call/epiphany/aha moment i've ever had since I found rsd. I've got work to do.
sirex
Respected Member
Join Date: 04/11/2009 | Posts: 481
One of my friends offers his annoying advice "you sshould join the army, do this that blah, blah, blah" thats great, Im glad you all care about me, but I dont need your advice on what to do, otherwise id ASK for it. Thats a huge turn off for me when talking to friends, etc, it just shuts me down to not want to talk to them.