THE FORUMS

Cont...

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HEIRARCHIES - ROLE IN SOCIAL INTERACTION:

We all get our moment in the sun at some point.

You'll notice, that when you are holding court, that sometimes people will be insecure with that.

The secure guy will recognize when its someone's turn to hold court, and not fight it.

A person who is secure will talk to ADD EMPHASIS to a point. He will not DISPUTE a point while someone is holding court. He knows that he'll have his chance LATER, and that right now someone is trying to get a point across.

Guys who are insecure will constantly dispute points whenever they see the opening. They view is at an opportunity to demonstrate their value.

They CANNOT RESIST the temptation.

For an example that everyone reading this can recognize, look to this chat board. Something tight will get posted. Insecure posters will nitpick semantics. Like "While this is important, its maybe an 8 out of 10 level importance. Not a 10 like you said." The secure poster, if he finds the level of emphasis on a level where its honestly misinformative, might post "I think that x,y,z are really good, man. I think that you might consider less emphasis on it though, because a,b,c are important as well. Good post though man, I like x,y,z"

ANOTHER feature you'll see on this board, and that is in the same vein, are THROWING LITTLE NEGS or TRYING TO COME OFF AUTHORITATIVE WHEN ITS NOT YOUR PLACE.

For example, you'll see guys trying to get rapport with someone they don't know by throwing little negs.

GOOD VIBING:
OLD FRIEND 1: Hey Steve, you ing bastard.. C'mere gimme a hug

BAD VIBING:
NEW ACQUAINTANCE: C'mere you er, help me out.

The second is BAD vibing, because he is trying to FORCE rapport with subcommunication that is only appropriate of old friends.

Similarly, you'll see guys who try to come off authoritative. You'll see it on the board, where a guy will post something quality, and someone who doesn't like him will post "That's very quality material. Good that you posted something of quality". It's like he's trying to come off authoritative. Like he realizes that he's negged on the guy on the chatboard, and he feels insecure that the guy he negged produced something worthwhile. So he has to come in and be all authoritative, like "I can show everyone that I recognize a good post". Guys in real life will see someone who they publicly disliked starting to improve himself, and say things like "Good that you're improving. KEEP IT UP." By this, they are trying to CONTROL what is happening. They are trying to say "Improve, because I , the AUTHORITY, approved."

More on this... If you've ever ran a very good presentation at work or school, and you see an insecure person come up to you and criticize.

They don't realize its YOUR TURN TO HOLD COURT. Their turn is LATER.

So they throw little negs at you. Like they always have to offer advice on how you could have improved it. They can't just say "Good job man".

Or they have to nit-pick subtleties. Like they can't say "That was awesome". They have to first go over their advise on where you ed up.

For a real life example that most guys on this board can recognize, when you meet up with another guy from the scene through PAIR, if he's insecure he'll do the following:

1- Talk about game non-stop, rather than PLAY.
2- Watch you do a set, and CRITICIZE on what could be improved, rather than encourage.
3- You tell him about something that happened, and he gives you ADVICE, rather than just listening.

SOCIAL INTERACTION WITH "VIBING" AS THE PRESUPPOSITION, NOT "DISCUSSING AN ISSUE"

When socializing, a good vibe will be set when the reason for being there is to enjoy each other's company.

However, sometimes a bad vibe can be set when the presupposition is that you're there for a SPECIFIC PURPOSE.

Of course, there is nothing wrong with purpose. It has a place, and more of my daily interactions have a purpose than those that are to socially vibe.

However, recognizing that tagging a set purpose to an interaction will often stop a nice vibe from occurring, will help with a pickup.

Insecure people will often LATCH onto a purpose for the conversation, as a way of maintaining it.

Then they'll leave on a "high note" once that purpose is exhausted.

This is a MAJOR cause of flaking. You maintained a conversation with a girl, but the presupposition was that you were discussing an issue. You left on the high note, but didn't realize that you were actually REINFORCING to the girl that you are not socially compatible.

When going to meet up with you again, she'll think "Well, we really have nothing more to talk about though. I don't want to have nothing to talk about, because that would feel uncomfortable"

As guys, we don't care. We might feel nervous that we'll have nothing to talk about, but we want sex. But girls, if the feel uncomfortable, they won't show up. That's one reason why guys who smoke pot get laid alot. Girls rarely flake on them, because they have that social presupposition that will give comfort. For the rest of us who don't smoke, we use SOCIAL VIBING rather than FORCED social interaction, to maintain.


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PRACTICAL FEMALE INTERACTION:

In summary, how does this apply in practical terms?

Most of it comes in, during comfort building phase. Or if you use a different PU model than I do, then its when you're getting to know the girl either way.

1) Don't crack jokes to the girl, and laugh at them before she does. Wait. You'll notice that it sometimes takes even 10-15 seconds for a joke to process. But it DOES. I usually bust on her for it "Oh, slow processing time.. That's OK, you're my little sister.. I didn't adopt you for your brains"

Also, don't say "right" after everything. It can come across beta. Right?


2) When a girl is trying to impress you, RECOGNIZE it as her QUALIFYING herself. If you reject it, you'll come across insecure, or socially unaware.

This is DIFFERENT than the C&F stuff early, where you break rapport on purpose. In fact, much like how the "25 Points to not trying too hard" assumed that you were in EARLY GAME, this post to some extent at least assumes you are PAST early game.

SHARE her excitement by recognizing rhetorical social sequencing.


3) Recognize when its your turn to talk, and when somebody else is being focused on.

MUCH MUCH of the mid/later game is the chick qualifying herself to you.

Because our pickup model incorporates alot of not trying, you'll notice your best pickups (with NON-party-chicks at least) are with the ones who at some point EARN your attention.

They perceive that they've WON your interest, and plan to COLLECT THE PRIZE (your in their mouth).

4) If a girl tells you about a problem, just LISTEN and change her emotion. Say "Ouch, that's sounds tough.. But hey, you're a powerpuff girl, and you know you're to feisty to let this stop you.. Let's check out x,y,z"

Definitely don't offer advice. If she wants advice, she'll say "WHAT SHOULD I DO?" Unless someone asks me what to do, I rarely offer advice. OR, I say "You know I have experience with this, so maybe later you can ask me about it."

5) Focus on SOCIALLY VIBING and don't CLING TO TOPICS. This will prevent flaking, and make her feel comfortable around you.

Don't leave on a high note. THERE IS NO HIGHNOTE. There is only vibing and flipping the switches that she needs to have switched in order to you.

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—Tyler