THE FORUMS

December 9th, 2016
Purpose Doesn't Need to Be SO Lofty - Find Purpose Without a Goal
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MatthewFreeman

MatthewFreeman

Member

Join Date: 01/24/2013 | Posts: 55

I've noticed this question pop up a lot lately: How do I find my purpose? Will my game suck if I don't have a purpose? How do I choose a purpose?

I've been struggling a lot over the last few months trying to find my NEXT purpose. Then I realized that I had actually fallen right back into the same old trap.

I've had a lot of different passions/purposes throughout my life. For years I was obsessed with powerlifting and nutrition, constantly lifting, preparing food, and reading everything I could find. After exceeding my goals in that I lost interest and became obsessed with a new purpose, getting my career figured out. I bought a bunch of books and spent a year constantly studying programming, teaching myself a skill and then rising up very quickly once I found a job. My career was my passion, but then that passion too faded and after a while my next passion arose... game! 

For the first 6 months I went out 2-4 times a week plus dates. I exhausted myself to the point of physical illness multiple times. I went on two bootcamps. My results were beyond anything I had ever expected for myself. The problem was game had become my purpose, and by accomplishing my goals in game, just like all my previous purposes, the passion started to fade after the goal had been achieved. I wasn't striving for something anymore. 

So I've spent the last few months trying to figure out my next purpose. Waiting for the next thing to come along that lights a fire under my ass. 

But I think I just let myself into the same old trap. Getting rich didn't make you happy? Get more rich. Still didn't make you happy? Get more rich. Still didn't make you happy? Too late you're dead. 

I think we do the same thing with self-development, but instead of chasing societal standards of money or power, we're chasing internal goals. But we still fall for the same trap of needing to constantly be chasing something. And once we get it, it doesn't put us in a permanent, ever-lasting, unshakable state of happiness. We enjoy it for a little while then we're on to trying to find something else to chase. 

If you don't have your life together, obviously you should get your career in order, get your finances in order, get your fitness in order.

But once you've done that, maybe it's time to break the cycle. 

I've come to the conclusion that, at this point, my next purpose and passion in life shouldn't be any lofty goal. My purpose should be to simply experience life to its fullest!

Sure, I could say that 6 figures isn't enough and I should really be pushing myself to make a million. If I settle for 6 figures I'm a quitter. I'm not ambitious enough. Why am I allowing myself to make less than other people? Why don't I have the drive they do?

Oooooor I could just enjoy the hell out of being a bachelor with game and more money than he knows what to do with. If I let myself get too caught up in self-help, its really easy to lose sight of how awesome I already am, because I can always be better. 

My purpose in life is now simple. I will passionately pursue making every moment of my life as full of experience and excitment and fun as possible. My purpose doesn't need to be base on achieving some goal. It can be enjoying the goals that I already have achieved as fully as possible. I've been having trouble finding another new purpose in life because honestly there isn't anything else I need. I've got my shit together. It's time to just be passionate about enjoying it. 

Alex told me something after my bootcamp. He said I needed to stop having self-help as a hobby, and just enjoy that I'm already awesome. It took me a while to really understand that. 
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#1

socialise

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Join Date: 07/11/2012 | Posts: 346

Really nice post bro it's true that pick up should be part of your life purpose not all of it 
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#2
capitalG

capitalG

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Join Date: 11/14/2009 | Posts: 431

In Way of Superior Man Deida talks about how when you've conquered your former purposes:

“Each purpose, each mission, is meant to be fully lived to the point where it becomes empty, boring, and useless. Then it should be discarded. This is a sign of growth, but you may mistake it for a sign of failure.”

You should infact -wait-. Don't do drugs, don't spend lots of money, don't date multiple women, simply wait. And I'm assuming his way of waiting would be to immerse yourself in the present and enjoy your lack of purpose for now, as it will be inevitable for a new one to come along. He also states not to force it.

So I see a good parallel between what he says and it still goes along with good common sense. I agree self help as a hobby is definitely not the purpose because then it basically wouldn't have an end to itself.
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#3
MatthewFreeman

MatthewFreeman

Member

Join Date: 01/24/2013 | Posts: 55

This post just blew my mind: http://www.rsdnation.com/node/127450

My post here is basically a person who is just starting to step up to the edge of the realization that this guy already came to and posted about in much better detail. He did a far better job of articulating this feeling than I was able to. Actually his post really clarified a lot of things for me. I've been struggling back and forth between "working on myself" and "letting go" for months. 

 
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#4
scottsdale

scottsdale

Trusted Member

Join Date: 10/23/2007 | Posts: 1542

Awesome post OP! You definitely hit on something important there.
Your main life purpose should be just that, to live fully. Enjoy or embrace every moment. Other than that you can still have goals and things in your life you are working on, but you should still do those things in line with your life purpose, which is to also enjoy completing those goals.

I'm just coming to these ideas myself and it is a very liberating feeling.
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#5

whatdafuk

Senior Member

Join Date: 10/29/2013 | Posts: 126

Damn that is fucking deep dude. You should write books. Maybe I like it so much because it connects with my situation so well but anyway, great post!
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