THE FORUMS

December 10th, 2016
**Future Nobel prize winner pimps it hard**
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DudeWhateverBro

DudeWhateverBro

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Join Date: 10/20/2012 | Posts: 613

Success with women is my only "hobby". Neuroscience is my passion and my path. I also help mentor inner city kids within the context of a local nonprofit. Between these three things and sleep my days are full. I am intense, introverted, smart, arrogant, happy, kind, and deeply motivated to make a huge impact on the world. The habits that I've cultivated from going out have been a major factor in unlocking those reserves of deep passion and energy that allow me to perform at an elite level and "play with the big boys", so to speak. My work ethic and the way I organize my life are extreme. Owen really stands out to me as a role model in this regard, and his videos (and bootcamp) have been major influences that made me who i am today.

lay count: 8 Several FWB, basically all my friends who are girls. Coolest person at my work and in my social circle (for now) My goal: Have a rotation of 3-5 hot girls; find a really smart girl in higher consciousness to date long-term, who will let me fuck other girls and have threesomes (she can do the same). My commitment: I will go out at least 2x a week and pimp it within my large social circle Let's see where this goes.
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#1
DudeWhateverBro

DudeWhateverBro

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Join Date: 10/20/2012 | Posts: 613

Friday, October 12, 2013

Pretty rough night up until about 1230, opened about 6 sets and got blown out of all of them in about 10 seconds. I was not being congruent at all. I have this weird persona I assume sometimes when I walk up on girls, like “this is ironic that I’m talking to you, I’m not taking it seriously, I’m not going to act like myself at all”. It never gets me good responses, and it never has. Don't know why I still act that way.  DURRRRR.

Finally talk to two girls who are about 5-6s, and get a good physical rapport going. They really like me and my friend. Not attracted, so it’s hard for me to care. It's amazing how much bullshit, incongruent behavior a 6 will put up with.

At this point I’m just kinda done. Not even feeling bad per se, just tired and stifled. Wing opens this tall, cute girl, about a 7.5. I go in and we have a chill conversation between the three of us for a while. Wing is kinda dancing-monkey-ish but I am completely unreactive and soon the girl is on me. Wing heads out and I continue talking to her for the rest of the night.

She tells me she’s a nerd, I’m like “PLEASE” and break out my superiority-complex hardcore--she is actually turned on. She is a clinical pharmacist who consults with patients who are about to die. She's throwing me shit test after shit test, trying to put me into the role of a little chode, but it's not working cuz I'm just enjoying the moment, totally present, and not reacting at all. Meditation fuck yeah. Funny exchange:
me: "how old are you?"
HB7.5: "guess"
me: "25"
HB7.5: "Nope, 28" 
(note: I'm 23).
me: "UGH, you could be my daughter, GROSS"
HB7.5: "lol bullshit how old are you"
me (grabbing her arm): "you have pretty nice skin for 28, wait is that a wrinkle??!" 
HB7.5 : "stfu you are so pale"
me: "oh god I know, I'm like the fucking aryan master race. You wish you had freckles like this. GOD i'm sexy"
HB7.5 (laughing her ass off): "seriously how old are you"
me: (look into her eyes for a few seconds, totally quiet) "..... 23"

It's on from that point. Before long she’s leaning in really close to my face and giving me the anime eyes. I see her pupils dilate as we lock eyes about 4inches away from one another, and she glances down at my lips. She was saying something but she just stops and starts to laugh, maintaining eye contact. Somewhere in my head it clicks: “KISS HER NOW”. I don’t do it. We continue talking but I realize I’ve pussied out (and continue to blow 4-5 more chances). Finally, the lights come on and people start shuffling out.

I always punish myself for acting like such a bitch. I go for the kiss even though the conversation has died down, just full-awkward. It doesn’t work, but I don’t even really react. I hold her for a bit and say “this is weird” jokingly. We actually talk for a couple more minutes like that, but then the bouncer tells us to get out. She meets up with her friends and I get her phone number.

I’m like “I’m going to call you—wait, no I’m not” lol. wut?

I still kinda go through the motions and then say “goodbye NERD” as she’s walking away with her friends. Lol I can be a real faggot.

Lessons learned:
I have tight game even with girls whom I don’t feel entitled to, because my experience with meditation allows me to be present to the moment and completely unreactive.

Lacking entitlement with a girl will def. stop me from going for the kiss. It feels bad to fuck up an interaction with a girl like that, don’t plan on making that same mistake again.

I should be friendly-and-cool more at the beginning of the night, to make some friends and open up as many doors as possible for the end of the night.


Going out again tonight. Feeling good >:)
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#2
DudeWhateverBro

DudeWhateverBro

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Join Date: 10/20/2012 | Posts: 613

On the bus to the club. Here's what I've been thinking about:

People miss out on taking right action because:
- they didn't expect their full capability from themselves
000 - exerting pressure on yourself in a way that induces tenseness or negativity is almost always counterproductive
001 - if you had a coach or friend who was removed from the situation that person could have reminded you of what your capability is
a - they would have exerted their frame of reality onto you, which would resonate with and draw out your own imprints of efficacy
b - they would serve as a resource pool of positive emotions
002 - doing this without a coach is partly positive self-talk and partly context-independent memory of what one is capable of

- they accepted a lower standard of thoughts, feelings, and behavior
003 - having clear standards makes it easier to judge and then reject suboptimal states
004 - lack of motivation and negative feelings prevent us from accessing optimal states
005 - if you don't have direct control over your thoughts and feelings you don't have a choice as to what standards you do or don't accept
006 - meditation and mental discipline are required to build the kind of mindfulness and self-control that allows consistency in this area
007 - self-awareness and context-independent recall are also required

- they were too lazy to think about what the right action actually was
008 - without being under pressure to behave a certain way people will tend to do what they are habituated to doing
009 - social and time pressure are difficult to replicate of ones own volition
c - you can put pressure on yourself through indirect actions that set in motion a chain of events that brings that pressure into existence (IE precommitment)

- they were in a lower state of consciousness
010 - action is the most consistent generator of HC, because it helps you assert your frame of reality
011 - other people have LC frames and without a robust mental filter to resist others ' frames you will fall into them.
012 - To prevent LC you must be able to recognize, reject, and extract yourself from it without being stopped by resistance

- they anchored RA to too many other feelings, concepts, and mental states
013 - your experience of taking RA lays the framework of associations that will either make you open or resistant to it in the future.
014 - taking RA is inextricably linked to resistance, but resistance can be weakened through reference experiences of it being overcome
015 - rejecting thoughts and feelings of resistance makes them less salient in the future
016 - you can explicitly pick and choose what thoughts and (depending on your level of mental wizardry) feelings you associate with any context, event, or situation
017 - choose to replace non-useful thoughts/feelings ("I am a loser"/*I feel bad*) with useful ones ("I'm awesome, I'm the shit/*i love myself*)
018 - the often unacknowledged key to an elite mind--as characterized above--is mindfulness.

Time to study my cell biology flash cards now. Pumps my state.
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#3
DudeWhateverBro

DudeWhateverBro

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Saturday, October 13, 2013

Second time I've ever gone out alone. Last time was Halloween 2012—that time I didn't talk to a single person and left after 15mins feeling like shit. Lol I've come a long way since then.

Didn’t drink. Talked to about 8 diff groups of girls. Just social and fun, really, nothing threatening. Like Tyler told me on bootcamp, my sets look like I'm just a cool guy holding court. I’m feeling good but I'm not taking any “real man’s blowouts”. Getting some bad reactions, getting some good reactions. 100% standard.

~1230am, went on a little walk in the drizzling rain to just chill out. Here’s what I’m thinking:
”This is my edge—I’m going to push it now. I am not afraid of feeling afraid. I'm gonna go back in and do some direct opens on some girls I’m legitimately attracted to. I’m gonna tell them I think they’re hot and look them in the eyes. That's my goal for tonight.”

I did 2 of these approaches. Strong eye contact, slow voice, breaking rapport, and completely congruent… for first 5 seconds. Then my intent falters and I lose them. But they both open quite well—and I can see the girls’ eyes light up at the sign of an alpha male. Whoa, I can actually do this. I should open this way more often.

It’s obvious to me now that intent is my sticking point. I am going to break that shit out next week.
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#4
Flipmod

Flipmod

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Join Date: 05/26/2013 | Posts: 129

Nice FR's dude! Seems like you got the right mindsets going on here.
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#5
DudeWhateverBro

DudeWhateverBro

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Join Date: 10/20/2012 | Posts: 613

Friday, October 18, 2013
 
Fun fun fun. Was in a good mood all night, and had a lot of fun just talking shit to girls. Hilarious shit. Pretty much all my sets that actually opened went well because I was in state from the beginning of the night, just talking with my wing and people around me. On the last night of my bootcamp I was in a similar state, just having a blast, and I pulled. The difference tonight is that I just didn’t fucking stick it out until the end of the night. I was tired, man. I didn’t want to get a bad reaction and lose my ego boost. I wasn’t a closer.
Anyways, with the way my life is going right now I could give a fuck less what these people think of me, so every interaction actually makes my mood go up.
On the other hand, I still have heavy approach resistance. I wouldn’t even call it anxiety because it doesn’t make me feel bad. I just don’t want to. It’s a retarded lack of discipline and underlying fear of going out of my comfort zone. I have to push through that feeling more. Glad I had my wing tonight to make me do shit I didn’t want to do.
 
Hot girl dancing set:
Approach a hot, hot girl in the middle of the dancefloor. Probably the hottest girl I’ve ever approached. Turns out she is there with her mom, who was a total milf. I hook the mom but the hot girl moves away and I don’t pursue. I should have been like “HEY. Get your ass over here.” That would have been perfect. Friendly and cool was not quite enough on its own—but at first I was able to get on the girl’s radar and she was interested until  I showed that I am a wishy-washy bitch.
 
Last set:
See three hot girls just standing in a circle, go in immediately just like “YO WHATUP”. Big grin, I feel great and don’t give a fuck. My state basically opens for me and they all turn to face me.
Me: “HAPPY FRIDAY”
Them: I don’t remember, don’t care.
Me: “HOW’S IT GOIN SO FAR. WELL IDK IT’S STILL KINDA EARLY.”
One of the girls: did you just get here?
Me: “uh, idk my buddy and I got here like 10mins ago”
Her: Oh, whatever then
Me: “LOL I love it, you’re like: PLEAAASE we’ve been here since 6PM. Fuck that 10min shit”
They are all cracking up.
Me: “what are your names. Actually no I don’t want to know your names.”
The set is hooked at this point. I chill out and have a cool conversation with this one girl. She is a student at the major medical institution I work at. It turns out she did a rotation right fucking next to my lab. We hit it off.
At some point the energy dies and the conversation stops. The two girls are talking to each other. My state starts to drop but I’m like … what? Fuck it I don’t care and just stand there watching some fucked up NASCAR crashes. I interrupt the friends to ask my girl what if it was her in the NASCAR. She says she could never do it. I say she is a nurse, she must see fucked up shit. Etc. A few months ago I would have ejected in this same spot--proud of myself for not doing it
My wing comes in and is a total douche, which is CLUTCH. I take advantage and isolate my girl. I have trouble figuring out how to work my phone to get her number—which probably looks awkward from the outside but I think it’s hilarious though and she still gives it to me.
Get physical by making a joke about a handshake her friend was giving my friend, I was like “OH is this the gangster handshake? Let’s do that shit.” Her friend has this absolutely retarded version of the handshake that I have never seen. The friend is laughing and qualifying herself to me, and then I do the handshake with my girl. Accidentally poke her in the boob. Felt soft. Get a little closer, put my hand on her shoulder, she has anime eyes… it could have been on…. But I LEFT
 
Note: all night, cute girls were looking at me with the seductive eyes. I WALKED RIGHT PAST SO MANY OPPORTUNITIES, just getting the ego boost of the obvious attraction and avoiding the potential pain of actually opening and fucking it up. I am never going to make significant progress if I keep protecting my ego like this
 
 
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#6
DudeWhateverBro

DudeWhateverBro

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Join Date: 10/20/2012 | Posts: 613


Saturday, October 26
 
FWB is in town. Went out with a larger group of friends this time. So happy to see my wingman, he is the only other non-chode.
 
Same old social stuff at beginning of night. Keepin it comfortable.

I actually used the "my mom uses facebook . but I don't" opener from one of the RSD vids. Hahahaha the girl was like "uhuh?" and turned to face me, but I had no fuckin followup to that retarded line.
 
I opened about 8x over the course of the night, with the intent to just open and do my self-development project as Tyler says.
 
At the end of the night I pointed at this girl and said “YOU. WHO ARE YOU” and the girl had just blown off my wing and she blew me off too. I thought it was fuckin hilarious.
 
Notes:
-       My state seems to be fairly unshakeable, at least while playing small-ball like I am now. I always feel good
-       I need to improve my eye contact and be more calibrated in that period right after the opener before the hook. I actually end up self-amusing to the point of being rude, which doesn’t exactly help anything.
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#7
DudeWhateverBro

DudeWhateverBro

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Friday, November 1st
 
I’ve been in a great headspace all week and I was looking to carry that into the club with me. I did. I did several things that I haven’t done before, got a bunch of quality refs, and spread positive emotions to everyone around.
Only went out for 1 hour because I have lots of work to do. Proud that I didn’t make an excuse.
 
Talked to a 2set of chubby girls with my wing. They liked him and liked me at first but I actually just started being rude and snobby because I see them as so much lower value than me. Prob should work on this, but to be honest it is just a natural byproduct of my self-amusement. I basically proactively blow myself out. Just with unattractive girls.
 
I proactively broke out of my comfort zone in several ways
Approached like 3 or 4 mixed sets. Just engaged the group, made everyone laugh, and then peaced out on a good note. I never approach mixed sets usually though. Because I felt so solid tonight I wasn’t really afraid of it, and I hope I will find it more natural in the future.
 
Pushed through rejection on the opener. Open another two set who are looking at their phone. I open with “sup y’all” and make good eye contact. It is a terrible opener but I’m comfortable. I shrug and smile at how funny the situation is. One girl tells me to go away, and starts talking some shit about how her friend’s boyfriend is over there, and blablabla same old bullshit. I could give a fuck less though and I just start joking around, making fun of her and her friend, making fun of myself. I thought this girl hated me because she gave me a congruence test.. nooooo, she just held out her hand as soon as I passed the test and asked me what my name was. I kept joking and self-amusing, but totally went overboard (told her to kill herself, for example—remember this is girl is like a 5). I told her that she and I would never get along—that we could have all the same friends and still not be friends with each other. This poor girl is like “what the fuck ahhh” and leaves.
 
After this I’m walkin around and a girl with 3 guys makes hardcore inviting eye contact with me. I again fucking BREAK EYE CONTACT like a submissive faggot and then open the group. The guys are cool actually, and I joke around for another couple seconds before leaving.
 
Talked to a girl by the bar. Really great conversation actually, I just wasn’t man-to-woman or else I would have made out with her. She had a cute face but was short and skinny-fat (not my type at all). I have way too high standards, shit.
 
Last set of night:
Wing opens 2set of cute girls. Really sexy, nice bodies. I actually am attracted to these girls.
 
I walk up, just smiling humorously and making eye contact
Asian girl thinks I’m drunk. I’m dead fuckin sober, so I take it as a huge compliment that I’m unstifled. Start talking to my girl. She hooks and gives me the bambi eyes. She is quiet and attentive. I take a seat next to her. We are close, and I DEFINITELY SHOULD HAVE FUCKING KISSED HER BUT I DIDN’T. next time god fucking dammit. Next time.
I feel my success-barrier side kicking in because the girl is actually attractive—a solid 8 I would say-- telling me to eject eject eject. I actually suppress it by re-grounding myself in my body and becoming present.
Sometimes over the course of the conversation I’m self-doubting or acting incongruent. I took some weird Asian herbal medicine shit that this guy in my lab gave me earlier and my body is actually really tense, making it hard to chill out with this girl. But my self-awareness and meditation experience allowed me to keep all that under control. It was a very Todd-style interaction. I was literally being boring as fuck but she found a way to be interested and just kept fuckin looking at me and leaning in to say things in my ear.
 
I set the bar extremely low for saying things. I never filtered what I was gonna say once, didn’t give a fuck. I really felt that I was enough. But I was too much of a to kiss her. I need to work on man-to-woman and being sexual. It’s just not something I ever do so it’s difficult. This is a real sticking point, glad to have recognized it tonight (and from a few weekends ago with the other tall hot girl who kept leaning in and holding eye contact).
 
I was just shooting the shit with a bunch of people tonight, being friendly and cool to a bunch of people who just happened to be nearby. Not even a little needy, just a bunch of fucking funny one-liners and quick exchanges. Glad to see that I at least have this tiny part of being social handled.
 
 
 
Notes:
-       Need to work on man-to-woman. Going to do this with the girls at work next week (and tomorrow night! Wooo)
-       Need to CLOSE CLOSE CLOSE FAGGOT
 
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#8
DudeWhateverBro

DudeWhateverBro

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#9
DudeWhateverBro

DudeWhateverBro

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Strong points in my game
- self-amusement, having fun; high state set-point
- talking with no filter, never running out of things to say
- being friendly and cool--"holding court".

Weak points in my game
- not approaching difficult sets (mixed, large groups, turbos)
- not speaking loud enough, not having commanding tonality
- releasing sexual tension, friend-to-friend vibe instead of man-to-woman
- ejecting too early, esp. off a bad response to the opener
- escalating physically, being direct

How to capitalize on my strengths and work on my weaknesses:
- Offer value and make friends with people in the beginning of the night.
- Keep talking and talking with a set later in the night and try to escalate/pull (time is my ally mindset; bore the girl into sleeping with me mindset)
- Trust in the state-transference from my positive emotions and do less. Hold eye contact and pace speaking to build sexual tension.

We'll see how I do next weekend. Another of my FWBs will be in town, and she's actually super cool with talking to strangers and pushing her comfort zone. So I'll go out both Friday and Saturday with these goals in mind, and I think it will go well ;)


 
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#10
DudeWhateverBro

DudeWhateverBro

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Friday - December 21, 2013

This marks the beginning of me going on a run. I stopped going out while I was applying to grad school for the last couple months. I should have kept going out like 1x/week or something, but I didn't have the discipline. Anyways, finished the apps--have the time now to get this area of my life handled. That's exactly what I'm going to do.

So, getting back in the game--my process will be this:
1. Go out every Friday and Saturday (and on weekdays starting soon)
2. Post a FR here on RSDN every time I go out, even if I have a totally fucked night
3. Push myself a little more every time I go out.

I went out tonight by myself, went into 2 bars, fucking walked around trying to look like I had friends there, and then left. Was out for about 30mins total. Taxi ride home was $26, which is brutal, and a major incentive to not waste my time in the future.

I didn't approach. Set low expectations for myself tonight, just wanted to make sure I actually went out and went into a venue. Well, mission accomplished. Tomorrow night I will absolutely be talking to people.
 
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