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May 23rd, 2017
I love being a loner....
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orangeohjay

Member

Join Date: 08/29/2012 | Posts: 34

Look. I get it. Going out is great for your game. So is meeting new people and talking.
But in my first year of college so far I realized something. I'm what you call a loner. I like being alone. For me, I go on RSD for the self-improvement- learning to be productive to get shit done.
By the way, I am an 18 year-old virgin. I just had to say it. And yes I (kind of) want to get laid.
College is great except the fact that you're constantly around people and social situations. My roommate is a big party-guy and he's cool. But I'm with him all the time. I'm with people all the time. In fact, I find myself looking for places to get away so I can study and shit.
Don't get me wrong- I love talking to people and being social, and I'm not socially retarded. I can cold-approach and can have a 5-minute conversation with a chick no problem. (Now whether that's a friend-zoned conversation or not is a different story).
But I just like being productive too.
Right now, I'm typing this on a Friday night in a library (while everyone's out) with a cap covering my eyes so my floor-mates don't find me and drag me along.
I remember once looking at one of RSDTyler's Free Tour Videos when he said that basically people who don't enjoy being with people are basically sacks of shit that don't deserve to get laid.
What. The. Actual. Fuck. I'm not a sociopath, it's just that I don't have that "motivational see-saw" pushing me to go to parties. Rather, the see-saw is pointing me to study (alone) and get good grades (alone).
Now here's the question.
How the FUCK do loners get laid? I have NO FUCKEN IDEA how to change this mindset of loving my alone time. How the hell do I change my mindset?
I've tried going out to get laid to find that I don't really care about getting my dick wet. Again, if it was "handed to me" I would do it, but I really don't care about getting laid just because I don't feel like dealing with people.
Not getting laid > Going through the trouble to getting laid.
I know this was long and shit.
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#1
rondel13245

rondel13245

Senior Member

Join Date: 02/02/2011 | Posts: 99

 Hey man Im 18 too, starting college very soon.

While its true that sex is overrated, I still think you should push out of ur comfort zone and try to get laid, just so you can say you've done it and don't find it that amazing. I am an introvert thats learned to cultivate my extrovert side from going out and looking at RSD, so I totally know what you mean that being alone is relaxing, fun, and more productive. However, problems start when you make an identity out of being an introvert and use that as an excuse to not push outside your comfort zone and not go out. While I don't think Im the most qualified person to give you advice as Im ur age, I am a guy who until sophmore year of high school didnt have his first kiss and ended high school having hooked up with 20+ girls and getting laid multiple times. 

Most helpful thing Ive learned over the past 3 years of my life is to not take yourself to seriously. Dude, were fucking 18!! We still have so much time to change ourselves. Most people on this site are in there 20's or later, you should be thankful and extremely proud of yourself for realizing that you might not be making the optimal choices that'll lead you to a happy life. Good news is that you're still young and have a ton of time to make sense of yourself and the world.

Its OK to be confused about stuff, just remember when you have a choice in your life (going out / staying in, working out / not working out, eating healthy / eating junk food), although the easier choice might be more tempting, the decision to push out of ur comfort zone will make you a lot happier in the long run.

Hope that helped, feel better man
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#2
Cujo

Cujo

Senior Member

Join Date: 09/02/2013 | Posts: 182

I'm a loner as well but I prefer to use the term "introverted".
I do enjoy being with some people, usually other introverts who are artistic & deep-thinker types. A lot of extroverted people are shallow-minded, and when you get to know them you find out that most of them are boring, typically conformist, and they have no real understanding of how the world actually works. Many are this way, but not all. It's not their fault though, it's how their brains are wired. I would try to find another loner like yourself on campus, introduce him to pickup, and go out and approach girls together. When you're first starting out, having a friend to hangout and approach girls with can often make all the difference. You can motivate each other toward success. Also try to find girls who fit your personality type, i.e. other loners. I'm sure you'll come across them sitting on a bench alone, reading a book or whatever. Go for the awkward & nerdy girls, does your college have any goth chicks, punk rock girls, artsy girls, etc? Those types of girls tend to be more drawn toward introverted guys.

Book recommendation: "Rules of the Game" by Neil Strauss, it has a cool 30-day challenge that you might find helpful. I know it helped to motivate me to get out and approach girls. ($18 on amazon.com)

Good luck! 
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#3
Insanity2.0

Insanity2.0

Senior Member

Join Date: 07/18/2013 | Posts: 181

Does your see saw lead you to watching porn as well?

How do you plan on getting laid without meeting girls?

Lol, "If it was handed to me"


I know this guy who's like a 27 year old virgin and "Abstaining from sex" and says shit like that. He doesn't abstain from porn though. Pretty sure he faps to a file called goodpersonality.jpg because that's his excuse for not being himself completely with girls.

Why don't you try to put THIS personality out and telling girls how you love your alone time and stuff like that. If you are being honest some will actually like you man. Really this problem that you have that you're talking about, the solution is to meet girls and stop thinking too much about it. That will help your blood flow down the brain and to the dong.
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My dear, Find what you love and let it kill you. Let it drain you of your all. Let it cling onto your back and weigh you down into eventual nothingness. Let it kill you and let it devour your remains. For all things will kill you, both slowly and fastly, but it’s much better to be killed by a lover.
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#4

CharlemagneBegins

Member

Join Date: 07/10/2013 | Posts: 54


Sorry I didn't read the post.. and i know this isn't helping, but I couldn't resist
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The world is moving so fast that the man who says it can't be done is generally interrupted by someone doing it.
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#5
aDANis

aDANis

Member

Join Date: 06/10/2012 | Posts: 77

You not valuing going out and getting laid is basically your ego rationalizing your way of thinking so that you are comfortable with your current ways of living.  Your current identity is long-term provider, considering you do want a nice girl at some point in your life.

When someone decides to go down a path of changing themselves, it's usually due to being overwhelmed by pain.  For the case of learning game, it's because a guy is fed up with being a loser, burned by girls or just plainly wants to challenge himself.

The more leverage you have, the more likely and quickly you will master success with females.

Right now for you, your brain doesn't see the purpose of trying to get laid because their hasn't been any evidence/leverage built to make you value that commitment. 
My suggestion is to start getting into physical contact with a girl. i.e. dancing w/ her twerking on your dick always gets me going.

I'm what you could call a loner to some degree, but I'm also an extrovert when the time is best fitting.  
Being my extrovert self brings me joy in the energy and clarity it gives me.  Being my introvert self allows me to shun away life and have some "me" time
Both are equally important facets to have in life imo.  All about balance.  You'll come across this sticking point in your journey.

Once you succeed in going through the steps in approaching, attracting, leading, pulling and having sex with a girl the same night, it's quite difficult to look back.  
You feel so empowered as a man as you are one step closer to the almighty glory of having CHOICE in your life.  This is fucking BEAUTIFUL!  
The closest thing to god is having choice and control imo.

Your life lacks balance which seems fine for now.  Wait until you are done with your studies and the only "close" friends you'll have will either be married or losers or both.
You need a dip on the short-term mating strategy side.

Check out the vids tyler made about this




Either proactively challenge yourself or wait until the unavoidable pain that WILL dawn upon you and cause you to take action.  

Red pill blue pill son.
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"Don't think that there is going to be gold at the end of the road.  Instead, value the process and you'll see that the road has been paved with gold all along." -Russell Simmons
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#6
RagaTanha

RagaTanha

Respected Member

Join Date: 06/30/2008 | Posts: 986

 You can be a loner and game. I mostly go out alone.
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That was then... THIS IS NOW.
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#7

Smoove

Respected Member

Join Date: 01/29/2010 | Posts: 717

 OP--

what you are describing is pretty much the textbook definition of being an introvert. I'm one as well. So is Tyler. 

It's just the way you're wired. Overall, RSD advocates learning to be extroverted on command as a skill you can use to get laid, since as you already know, extreme introverts don't get laid so often. So, advice #1 is to try to learn to be balanced as a skillset you can use. Advice #2 is to play to your strengths-- go out for shorter bursts of time, isolate more 1 on 1 (introverts get overstimulated and easily annoyed in big groups-- 1 on 1 is much better). Learn to vibe, flow, and socialize in a more focused way that is authentic to who you are. When you're full up of social energy, go home for the night. Baby step your way into interactions. 

But, bottom line is that you either:

1- go the fuck out every now and then
2- learn online game and "be more productive"
3- only rock social circle-- which is gonna suck if you're only friends are chode gamer nerds
4- don't get laid.

It's your choice. And, I agree with aDANis-- you're probably rationlizing this away because you don't yet have the reference experiences of getting laid by a young hottie to know what the hell you're actually missing. Sex is awesome if you do it right. It's good for you, keeps shit real in the best way.
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#8
Skiddles

Skiddles

Member

Join Date: 07/15/2012 | Posts: 47

 its really your choice, you just have to truely ask yourself, are you rationalizing?? since you posted here, looks like your trying to rationalize and qualify to yourself. i guess thats true for any post thats not asking for advice. looks like your just trying to get people to agree with you for support. All that really matters is that you can be true to yourself. thats probably the hardest thing to do really because if you really think about it, you almost can never be truely true to yourself. anyways, think about it and then go do what ever it is that seems hardest
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#9

breakbot

Senior Member

Join Date: 06/15/2013 | Posts: 270

I just like sluts on the weekends, then being alone during the week, wouldn't have it any other way Life is good. 
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#10

SimSim

Junior Member

Join Date: 09/08/2013 | Posts: 9

Some people are naturally introverted.
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