October 20th, 2018
Deliberate Imperfectionism
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Junior Member

Join Date: 08/24/2013 | Posts: 8

This post could be of value to you if you consider yourself as a very cool guy - with a cool life, but you still do not get the results you think you deserve.

Have you ever considered that you might be "too perfect" to get laid?

YOU are working on your life on a daily basis, which is something very few people do...

Beeing part of "the rsd community", you are probably developing all aspects of your lifestyle; Health, fitness, money, social life, women, travel...

I am 21 now. For the last 4 years I have always been trying to work towards beeing the perfect guy:
I am eating a paleo style diet as many of "us" do.  I have a sixpack. I am lucky and genetically blessed with above average looks, which is a bonus. I dress better than most guys. I started a business before. I travelled all over the world. I visited zen monastrys to practice meditation. I am super confdent. I have pretty sick social skills. I interacted with at least 1000 girls in my life from cold approach.

And still...

Until very recently I didn't get the kind of results from Game I wanted - Even though I honestly viewed myself as cooler and more experienced than most people I come across.

Assuming that you are a regular visitor of this forum, YOU HAVE A SIMILARLY COOL OR COOLER LIFE THAN ME.

Chances are high that you are consciously developing yourself as a person. And even though you do not have the very same experiences as I do, you have had others that set you apart from most people: Maybe you've been going out for A LOT OF TIMES, pushing your comfort zone. Maybe you have read all the self-help books on the face of this earth. Maybe you`re pretty jacked. The point it, all of us here that work hard on our lifestyle goals are successful in one way or the other. If you're just getting started on your journey, you'll be very soon.

Now when you meet that random beautiful girl in the bar, or let's just say you meet people in the bar, they are going to be no where as "experienced" in life as you are. They are not going to be as cool as you are.

They will have spend much of  their freetime watching tv, browsing facebook and playing video games while you are going through self-help books, educate yourself, meditate and go out to become socially more aware.

How do you think you are going to connect to those people, specifically those girls?

By rubbing your awesomeness in their faces? NOPE.


By making them feel small through exposing them to your close-to-perfect appeareance? No way.


By confronting them with a personality which is outside of their reality? Of course not.

People might admire your strength, but they will not connect to you because of it.

I think most of us understand that making more money, being healthier or reading daily does not directly cause success with women. Instead we assume that it does by affecting our general vibe and happiness. I used to think that the more perfect I become, the better I feel about myself (which is true up to this point), the more I am going to arouse girls (or people in general). And here is is where it get's a little more complicated...

Yes, you have to be "HIGH VALUE" in order to exercise influence on other people and girls. Yes, you have to have a stronger frame than them. 

BUT it does not help you if you're some sort of alien to them that they can't grasp as "just a person".
Let me put that differently.


How would you feel if you would hang out with an extremely educated victoria secret model? 

Maybe a little more self-consciouss than when you meet with some random-bar girl? Jep? 

Well, that's what you might be to those girls. The male version of the victoria secret model.

So how do you solve that dilemma?

By embracing what I (randomly) call "Deliberate Imperfectionism" you allow yourself to downwardly connect with people. You show off your imperfection even if there is none.

Tone it down. Relax. Turn your extremely self-actualized personality down.

If someone orders you a drink, drink it. If a girl tests you about a weakness of yours, tell her it's affecting you a bit, even though it doesn't. (She will know the truth) If some group wants to adopt you because you're new in town, accept the invitation instead of holding on to your self-image of being a completely independent man. if you're invited to dinner and they have burritos and share candy with you, screw your paleo diet for the night.

Over the last couple of days I learned that amazing things happen if you "just give yourself to the night" (as alexander puts it nicely)...

Give your imperfect self to the people. Become one of them.  Connect with the girls first, so they can then - as the night progresses - notice that you're still different from all the other guys.


Try not being MR. Sober-approach-everyone-cold-as-ice-guy for one night and see what happens.

Here are some questions I often get from people. I used to express the answer in a very "in your face-way", which might have made it harder for people to relate to me. Fact is "in your face" for them is just me expressing my thoughts without filtering them through social conditioning first. In the end I am giving examples for the kind of stuff I started to tell people instead now, which leads to way better social results.

"Are you going out solo?"
In your face: "Yea. It's more fun then being stuck in a big group of people"
Deliberate Imperfectionism: "It is a bit scary I have to admitt, but I have no choice right. I am in a new city and I want to get to know some people"

"You don't drink? Why?"
In your face: "I never drink.There are a couple of reasons. It's unhealthy, expensive, doesn't make me cooler and I really enjoy having full control over myself"
Deliberate Imperfectionism: "Oh, I just don't feel like it tonight", "I had enough for tonight"

"Aw, you don't have any friends yet?"
In your face: "I met a few people, and but I am not really looking for friends. There is only 4 guys who I actually consider my friends and they are back home."
Deliberate Imperfectionism: "Yeaa, I am meeting new people quite a lot, but it's to early to call them my friends. You can be my first (girl)friend. :)"

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Join Date: 08/22/2013 | Posts: 97

 good stuff bro, tell me more. I could find myself in the things you were talking about from the start, and yeah I'd definitely tend to go with "in your face" replies, which I see you're trying to convey is not the right way... cause yeah we are really too much for these chicks when you look at it...the things we do and know...Maybe we're overwhelming them just by being the rad guys we are, right? But this is some new stuff for me, have you tried it out? does it work? for me the example anwsers u gave for practical imperfectionism wouldn't be optimal in theory...dont know in practice, though.
Value packed camel

Socially intelligent & High Status

Cool, calm, collected DELIBERATE, ON PURPOSE

My World, believe in YOURSELF!!!

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Junior Member

Join Date: 08/24/2013 | Posts: 8

Of course I tried it out. That's why I had to share! It has only been one week since I started playing with the idea, but it's been amazing. I am being a bit unscientific here, since I base my "theory" on one weeks experiences, but this little thingy has massive meaning for me personally.
About the answers...If you believe in "The self is always coming through-theory" you can basically say whatever your want, as long as it's not too in-your-face. I'd rather deliver a chode answer and have my self shine through.
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Junior Member

Join Date: 08/26/2013 | Posts: 6

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