THE FORUMS

December 6th, 2016
My 10 rules for befriending celebs -- and how this relates to dating hot women
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Tyler

Tyler

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Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 8738

HOW TO BEFRIEND CELEBRITIES
This is a topic that most people have little interest in, but I thought it was interesting because it resembles so closely to how to befriend, date, and sleep with hot women.

So examining how to befriend celebrities is a way to get "outside the box" and develop better social calibration on how to get hot girls.

This is my assessment and my rules, that worked for me. Other people may have their own ideas on this, and any celeb may agree or disagree.

BACKGROUND
Most people assume you have to be a celeb yourself to make friends with celebs, this simply isn't true.

Rather. celebs have a shortage of cool people to be friends with, and an over abundance of people who want things from them and can't be cool.

This over abundance of people who can't be cool is EMOTIONALLY DRAINING and EXHAUSTING.

People watch them for a long time, and when they finally work up the nerve to talk to them, if the celeb doesn't act EXACTLY how they want, they feel offended because the way they imagined it playing out in their heads didn't match up in real life.

The ultimate irony of the people who can't be cool is the celeb realizes they're more or less a regular person, and that people placing all this value on them is bizarre. They don't WANT to have this effect on people.

Human tendency = everyone in life just wants what they want. Everyone's favorite topic is themselves, and analyzes everything through a lens of "how does this affect or relate to me?"

If you are talking to a celeb, you have to BEAT this human tendency in yourself, and consider how THEY are experiencing you. It's not all ME ME ME, and MY experience, but rather how to relate to ANOTHER PERSON.

Rule #1: Be cool about who they are and what they do.
Most people are either gushing fans, or try to insult it and pretend to be above it as a cheap / transparent gimmick to appear "not like those other fans".

"I know it's just a regular person, I'm not intimidated, blah blah blah". Sure it's TRUE, but 99% of the people who take the time to SAY this don't actually believe it themselves, and are trying too hard to appear cool. Simply say "Oh ya you do cool shit..." and move on from it, same as telling a hot girl "You're a cutie" and but at the same time not making a big deal out of it, instead of saying "I'm not intimidated that you're hot, you know..."

(After all, if you don't like it, why did you walk up and start talking to them? It's best to just mention you like their stuff, and then move off of it.)

I personally LIKE being fans of people, and if I saw them I'd tell them how awesome they are and take a picture. I've taken Eckhart Tolle's and Anthony Robbin's programs, and am a major fanboy of these guys.

At the same time, I understand the division of roles. I don't personally want to become friends with those guys because I want them to stay in my life as teachers.

A friend is a special type of chemistry where you just like cracking jokes to eachother and make eachother have a good time, shared experiences, etc, it's not a chance to leach off of someone for value. There's no "hybrid friendship" with someone you idolize where you hang out, but then also bug them for help.

So for example, because I actually WANT to leach off of Tony Robbins for tips, I'd rather simply pay him his fair price to take a program or do an internship with him than try to be his friend, where I can't keep bugging him for tips any more.

Simply realize that there is a division.

Again with the Tony example, that dude may want as much feedback as possible on his material, but if you're going to be his FRIEND you now play a different role in his life, where he's opening himself up to you as someone to make him feel good.

There's a "time and place" for feedback, and to do his best when he's teaching he also needs that time away from all the criticism and feedback where he can replenish and recharge, so if you're interjecting that into the friendship it's a violation of that space, and you're slotted back in as a fan.

Rule #2: Be pure positive and emotionally self sufficient.
It it not you being "authentic" to emotionally dump on someone you've just met. People go out and meet new people to be emotionally uplifted, they already have enough "reality" in their own lives.

While it may be authentic to be negative if you feel negative, more important is to manage your life effectively enough that you ACTUALLY ARE able to enjoy a night out or meeting new people without being depressed.

Realize that the "default" that most people get is others being negative and dumping on them, since most people in general are negative. Learn to control this in yourself before you try to befriend other people, especially busy celebs who are overwhelmed with people trying to be their friends.

Rule #3: Be financially self sufficient and eliminate all envy.
If you hang out with successful people, still offer up to cover your portion of the bill. Never ask for anything.

At the same time if they want to pay, don't be obnoxious about it to the point it comes across paranoid. Say THANKS if they do, by looking them in the eye and saying you liked it.

Never feel envious of their situation, fully own and be happy with your own. If they offer to go somewhere you can't afford simply decline, don't spew negativity about how that place sucks anyway, etc, as you are simply in a different financial space and may arrive there someday yourself.

Rule #4: Have your own life that's cool and that you like.
People who have cool lives want to be around other people who have cool lives. This is what makes you an interesting person.

Be grounded in your own movie. Your RAS is focused on your own reality and experience of life, not trying to live through someone else's reality and experience of life.

Other people are welcome into your reality, but they are still GUESTS of your reality.

Rule #5: Be non-needy.
Be the type of person who is open to meeting other cool people, but ultimately doesn't care whether you're friends with any ONE particular person or not. You don't "target" celebrities to meet them, rather you're just open to it if you have fun hanging out.

You don't care at all whether or not you hear from them, because your own life is filled up with so much good stuff you don't notice.

You should be the type of person where if there's a big dinner, you don't proactively try to sit beside the cool people or where the energy is. Rather, be the type of person where even if you're all surrounded by introverts, the "cool end" of the table is looking over at you to see why all the fun is at your table.

If you're at a celebrity gathering, just start having so much fun wherever you are that they start glancing over, and want to be a part of your group.

Rule #6: Treat the person as a person, not an object
Don't go around bragging to people you're friends with the person. Don't bring other people out to meet the person, to show off to them.

Don't ask for pictures, don't ask for them to say something about you on their social media, etc.

(Make a choice, if you want the pic that's fine, but you are now officially a fan. You don't get the pic to brag to your friends AND to be their real friend. It's one or the other.)

Rule #7: Learn Stephen Covey's emotional bank account principle.
A person's willingness to absorb negative energy, be compliant to your requests, and invest into you, is based on how much good emotions have been put into the bank account.

You can withdraw from the bank account only if you have a lot of positive emotions built up.

Hit people up with funny texts, facebook messages, emails, and phone calls just to shoot the shit.

Put in a lot of positive emotions before asking for anything or venting any negative emotions, because they are sensitive about people wanting things from them.

Rule #8: Accept the person for their pros and cons, don't expect them to be "on"
Everyone has good and bad qualities. Celebs can FEEL the judgement seething off of most peple who approach them.

The persona that a celeb brings to the public is their "best self" and requires REST to maintain. Nobody can be that charismatic or positive ALL THE TIME.

Most people DEMAND that the celeb is that persona they've seen in order to feel happy with the experience, and will shit talk them if they don't get what they want.

"I met that guy and he wasn't all that..."

Okay cool, so you just proved you're one of those guys who was pretending to be cool, but secretly needed the person to be ON ON ON around you at all times.  AKA you were a value leach the entire time.

High profile people have had too many of these experiences and find it to be a waste of time, so if you come across in this way it's no buenos.  Simply be non judgemental and accept the person for their pros and cons, like any other human being.

Rule #9: Understand the overwhelmingly busy nature of the person's life
People who live super busy lives will maintain friendships on a more proacted timeline than a typical person.

When busy people hang out, they do it a few times a year. It's not abnormal to catch up as if nothing at all has changed.

Rule #10: Be carefree, bring them into your world, and provide a sanctuary from their concerns of life.
Everyone is tired and scared, it doesn't matter how successful or famous.

Be someone who doesn't judge them at all, has their own life under control, and makes them feel safe and fun when you're around.

Make them feel that the world is a light, easy place for you, even if you've been through many challenges.

Provide an ESCAPE from all the bullshit and idiots they deal with on an ongoing basis, by providing authentic human interaciton.

CONCLUSION
Notice how all this relates to picking up hot girls.

Hot women have that same "high value" effect and similar problems. They are like miniature versions of celebs.

Ultimately the lesson is to handle your own shit, realize where people are coming from, and provide a fun exchange.

Tyler
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#1
Blue x Light

Blue x Light

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Join Date: 04/16/2008 | Posts: 510

 I relate to stars more than ever
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#2
ViggoStokholm

ViggoStokholm

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Join Date: 07/26/2013 | Posts: 358

Great post.
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#3

Tobias

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Join Date: 06/11/2010 | Posts: 848

 Nice article Tyler, any ideas on "sticking" to their lives? I've met a few famous girls in cold approach and it always seems to be the same story. Even if they are as receptive as other girls their lives are just swamped and packed full of guys who are involved in their lifestyle.  

I was getting phone calls from a girl who was a rapper and regularly opened for Dr. Dre and other rappers, hot, 20 yrs old, talented... Shes always on tour, working on her music career, and hanging out with industry people. Even though she would call me every few days she ended up dating someone in her industry. It was extremely difficult to fit into her lifestyle like if you are not a functioning gear in her life its very difficult to get the time needed because of her travel, and free time being sucked away. We even had commonalities she wanted me to litereally hypnotise her because we were both interested in hypnosis but it was just a logistical nightmare we literally tried to meet up for 2 months. 

Im just a bit clueless on how anyone can hang out or date someone like this outside of their own world. 
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#4

tom137

Junior Member

Join Date: 10/25/2012 | Posts: 12

 i can see people with a checklist of this rules trying to talk to you, lol.
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#5
richie rich

richie rich

Trusted Member

Join Date: 05/15/2012 | Posts: 1152

rule #11: bust their balls, constantly...because no one else has the nuts to do it.
rule #12: introduce them to hot girls because even though they're famous, they usually have no actual game lol. 

I wouldn't go set out to "make friends" with famous people. just be yourself, don't be a weirdo and if you guys click you'll start hanging out naturally. To be honest having a famous friend is the same thing as having a regular friend...

Famous girls are another story...great to brag to your friends about...but in reality a huge pain in your ass. famous girls have the worst diva behavior. the older ones are cool but the young models and socialites are just a pain to deal with. Not to mention every other fuckin guy is trying to swoop the second you turn your back.
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#6
Dr Destruction

Dr Destruction

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Join Date: 07/12/2013 | Posts: 629

I'd love to see little "side stories and advice" like this on the main article page, stuff not always related to pickup but just cool ass knowledge that most of us don't know about...

Rule number 5 hit home hard, I've always been stifled and "stuck in my own head" around people of authority like bosses, family reunions, etc. I always thought it was inappropriate to be having more fun than those who "are above you", especially growing up in a traditonal ass asian family where you're supposed to be obedient and quiet, especially at the dinner table with your elders.

As always, have the most fun out of anybody... Gold pure gold.
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#7

vision3

Junior Member

Join Date: 07/19/2013 | Posts: 15

Isn't this post just treating celebs like objects.

Sounds like you are trying to catch pokemon.

Should just be called... How to make friends with people that you think  are more successful than you.

Longtime fan, this post just kind of rubbed me wrong.
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#8
Blue x Light

Blue x Light

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Join Date: 04/16/2008 | Posts: 510

vision3 wrote:
Isn't this post just treating celebs like objects.

Sounds like you are trying to catch pokemon.

Should just be called... How to make friends with people that you think  are more successful than you.

Longtime fan, this post just kind of rubbed me wrong.
hahah I wanna be the very best... no one ever was....

hahahah

yes...

but seriously.. cmon you know he has to write like that.. baby steps.
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#9
mikevick07

mikevick07

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Join Date: 01/08/2012 | Posts: 2286

omg #1 #6 #8 #10.....I'm not a celeb but kinda low level like y or z list celeb lol and I get shit like this locally all the fuckin time and over the internet, its annoyin as fuck, I thought I was just bein a not bein able to handle it, thanks for some feedback on this topic so I dont gotta feel weird about these issues because I've never heard this spoken on on a social dynamic/psycology/emotional/etc. type of level....like I've never heard someome popular or famous speak on these issues "as a person" if you know what I mean

I walk around thinking about this type of shit all day, I often feel left out of just being a "normal person", not because of awkwardness though or shyness or anything like that but just because I dont know anyone who works, studies, reads, practices their craft, or takes huge risks like myself, literally no one, I gotta go on the internet to see ppl like that, not sayin I'm "special" or anything but I just dont ever see it

cool post, thanks dude
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#10
sexuality

sexuality

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Join Date: 02/27/2013 | Posts: 356

Tyler are you friend with Eckhart Tolle?
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