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October 20th, 2017
Struggling with meditation and focus
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blokeman

Senior Member

Join Date: 10/18/2012 | Posts: 213

I've been doing 21 minutes (as suggested by Tyler) of meditation on most days (but not all, there've been several lapses) since last fall. Since the beginning of June or so, I am rigorously maintaining the habit, refusing to miss even a day, since I understand the importane of consistency. But the results have been rather weak and discouraging recently.

Typically, a session is like this:

I begin, and concetrate pretty hard for a minute or two on keeping my mind blank, just looking at a small spot on the wall.

Within 5 minutes, usually less, I falter and catch myself thinking.

Then I go "bah, I already messed up, fuck it, I'll just ride out the remaining time."

Then I just sit and relax, making some lazy, sporadic efforts not to think, while most of the time different thoughts are flowing freely and I can't be bothered to care. Once I give up like that, it is a rather relaxed, comfortable state, and the 21 minutes pass quickly, but it's not the "clear", thoughtless state that Tyler refers to.

I was doing much better at this around the time of my bootcamp last winter, and I think it might have been because I had a lot of studies to attend to, which forced me to apply the focus muscle a lot in order to get my reading done. "Resting the brain" through meditating (ie. not thinking about that study stuff) was some very welcome variation to the mental effort. But recently, I struggle, and it's quite frustrating.
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#1

musclebobbuffpants

Member

Join Date: 04/24/2013 | Posts: 72

 It's just one of those things you get better at over time. Meditation, like many things in life, people don't do because it doesn't give you instant results. I would try out different exercises. I've been reading a book called 8 minute meditation (I set my timer for 9 minutes, idea from TD) and every week is a new exercise.
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#2
Pheromone

Pheromone

Respected Member

Join Date: 11/06/2012 | Posts: 357

You could try getting a meditation teach of some sort. Read some books on it.

Really it just sounds like you need to try harder.
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#3
Ryan

Ryan

Respected Member

Join Date: 11/13/2011 | Posts: 923

You need leverage.

Wanna know when my meditation sessions are the most intense/clear?  The day after a 9 blows me out because I couldn't keep my shit together when she looked into my eyes.
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#4

blokeman

Senior Member

Join Date: 10/18/2012 | Posts: 213

 Serpicoo: Not sure it's thoughts fighting thoughts. But keeping the mind clear of thoughts does feel like a strenuous struggle to me much of the time. Kind of like standing on one foot and trying not to fall in either direction.

In fact, it feels somewhat conflicting to me to be, on the one hand, trying to "relax the mind", while on the other hand you have to focus hard to keep your mind clear.

I also recently did a 30-day challenge, with quite a few encouraging new experiences. These often fill my mind with all kinds of optimistic future speculation, which is certainly better than negativity, but is also the opposite of having a mind clear of thoughts.

Ryan2: I'd like to hear more about these staring contests with women. I feel like I can do pretty well at them, cuz it usually doesn't require more than 10 seconds of focus to stare down a chick. But I worry about coming across as creepy, which is why I usually don't keep it up for long.
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#5

Soup

Junior Member

Join Date: 07/24/2013 | Posts: 6

 Try reading about meditation.  I'm personally not a fan of self-help books, but after reading Eckhart Tolle for the first time a few weeks ago (and ignoring all the New Age Chrsitian Mystical bullshit) and trying meditation again, I'm finally getting the hang of it, and the results are very tangible, and I can see the difference with each passing day.  So read a few books on the practice.  Try to get some ideas of what the object of meditation is, as well as the various obstacles one might encounter when attempting it.  PM me if you have any questions.
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#6

blokeman

Senior Member

Join Date: 10/18/2012 | Posts: 213

Soup: Thanks for the tip, I guess I'd do well to read through the Power of Now, which I recently managed to get my hands on but has been gathering dust in the bookshelf.
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