THE FORUMS

December 6th, 2016
VictoriousSwede's Field Reports
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VictoriousSwede

VictoriousSwede

Member

Join Date: 01/13/2012 | Posts: 61

  Shit.
So here’s the deal. I haven’t approached in like 6 fucking months. Why? I could blame school or something else, but that doesn’t make me feel any better. I have no excuse.

Anyway, I’m back and I thought I would do a 30day challenge. Daygame from Monday til Friday + Sunday and venuetime on Friday and Saturday. Still being somewhat of a newbie I’ll keep it simple and straight-forward. That means missions!

Week 1: Approaching! Anyone. As much as possible. Ask for the time of day, where XYZ is, how to get to this/that place etc. Every social interaction is acceptable!

Always keep in mind:
- Eye-contact
- Voice: projection and tonality
- Body language

This is how I will structure my process: Others out there might do it differently, and my method might not be the best, but this is how I’ll do it. (Tips are gladly accepted of course). Start with the foundations and gradually build myself up.

I’m trusting that if I keep this up every day I’ll progress, and that’s what I’m after.

About me:
I’m 20 and studying at a university.
I'm in this to become a MASSIVELY social and fun guy.
Total sex-worthy alpha of awesomeness.
I am ready for a long journey.
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#1
VictoriousSwede

VictoriousSwede

Member

Join Date: 01/13/2012 | Posts: 61

 Monday July 22

Woke up.
Breakfast.
Gym.
Protein Shake.
Cold Shower.
Meditate.
Time to go!

Man, let me tell you. My brain was telling my some serious shit before I got out of the apartment.
"Dude, you'll regret this. Don't put your pants on, when you do you now there's no way out. FINE. Be that way. DUDE. STEP AWAY FROM THE SOCKS. Come on, you know you love the feel off your feet on the wooden floor. Dammit. What if they reject you? Someone you know sees you? People figure out what you're doing and laugh at you? WHAT IF YOU GET KILLED? Wanna masturbate?"

I'm not joking. My brain was not happy about my choice. I actually told myself to "STFU, I'm doing this". And I was out.

It is so fucking hot, and my body loves to sweat. Not complaining though, I love the summer.

My brain was doing his thing again. "Too old, too fat, bald, two people, he looks dangerous,she looks mean" etc... And it was getting to me. Damn. I managed to ask some guy for directions. He was nice and did not kill me, so fuck you brain. I was also looking for some last minute shopping. It's funny, I've actually NEVER gone out to shop alone before. There's always been a friend or family member with me. Anyway, my thoughts were let's be social so I went straight for the sales guy and asked for opinions, and later did the same the with a girl who worked there. I had few other small interactions, nothing fancy. 

What I learned:
- The brain will rationalize almost anything to get out from a potential ego-damaging situation, and that it affects me ALOT. I'll need to work on that.

Any insights are always appreciated!
Later.
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#2
VictoriousSwede

VictoriousSwede

Member

Join Date: 01/13/2012 | Posts: 61

 Tuesday July 23

Today was a good day.

It had its ups and downs but I went out which is always a success! I actually surprised myself with my first open. I walked for maybe 20 seconds before I opened an old lady to ask where XYZ was. Right after I did the exact same thing with two young girls, literaly 5 seconds after the first one. This was followed by an approach on an older couple visting the city, and right after I approached a girl in her mid 20s to 30 who had her earphones in. I was proud of that one. Then one last approach before I walked for some time not encountering anyone so my rationalizations had taken over. Done for now.

Went out with a wing later and, while waiting for him, I did one approach in a bookstore where I asked some guy for any good books. It was kinda weird seeing that he was a tall, good looking guy (no homo) and when I talked to him he was very shy. Spent some time with a fellow wing just walking around sharing memories. We haven’t seen each other in like 6 months. I ended up not doing an approach which is a bummer but just the fact that I went out and approached was a huge win for me. Making progress!

I need to figure out a way to push myself into opening again after walking around for some time. Otherwise I'll just spend massive amounts of time doing nothing, when I could be doing something that will move me forward.

I'm also wondering why I managed to do my first approach so quickly today, unlike yesterday.

Damn. I'm remebering other details of the day. :P
When I was walking around I was thinking "just approach and say what's on your mind", but as soon as I saw a girl I wanted to approach my mind froze. Just say Hi! But then what... I need to stop needing to know everything I'm going to say.
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#3
VictoriousSwede

VictoriousSwede

Member

Join Date: 01/13/2012 | Posts: 61

 Wednesday July 24

I’ve been noticing a difference in my actions since I made the promise to myself to become more social. I’ve often viewed most everday social interactions as dull and meaningless but now, when I made the choice to become this social-fun guy, I’m continually seeking social interactions where I before would avoid them. This is not something that happened since Monday, but something that’s been growing the last couple of weeks. For example: Awkward silence in an elevator → Me wanting to talk to the other person because it’s fun. Walk by greenpeace people on the street → Me seeking to talk to them because of interest. Today I met the same guy I talked to on Monday and voluntairaly walked up to ask how it’s going, what he thinks of the job etc. and even bothering to remeber his name. And one last example is me just having small talk with the clerk in a supermarket instead of just standing there quiet. Small progress but a massive win for me.

On to today’s approaches. It went surprisingly well. I’m still doing the ”where is XYZ”, ”What’s the time?” on people I encounter (maybe 10 approaches), but I feel like I should step it up tomorrow. I’m not sure what that is yet but it needs to be something that scares me.

Memorable momente: Walked past an old man and sighed because I was hot. He kind of jumped and I smiled and said ”oh sorry, I didn’t scare you did I?”. I walked with him for minute and talked before I said ”bye, have nice day”.

I realised today that social interactions don't have to be dull and pointless. Having a friendly conversation with a stranger actually makes me happy. :D
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#4

thatblondeguy

Junior Member

Join Date: 03/22/2013 | Posts: 6

Hey!
Awesome to see that you're stepping up. Check your inbox
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#5
VictoriousSwede

VictoriousSwede

Member

Join Date: 01/13/2012 | Posts: 61

 Thursday July 25

Ahhh… I like my newfound dedication towards a more social lifestyle. This week so far though I’ve mostly focused on being more friendly in my everyday life, while also doing some momentum building approaches during daytime. Sadly I’ll be gone over the weekend but it’s for a social cause!

I’m happy how this day turned out but I’m hoping that I will be going harder next week. I did 10 approaches today. I know I’m still doing the ”where is XYZ” approaches but I’ve been focusing more on women and also not doing the question->answer-> run away. Did pretty well on that. 9/10 approaches went sort of like this. The 10th approach surprised me though! I decided to walk up some stairs and on my way up I passed a girl picking flowers. I made a casual comment about me picking the wrong clothes for this weather, and before you know it we were walking side by side talking. Got to the top and I sort of unconciously lead her around. To be honest I was just walking and she kept following haha. To me it just felt like a friendly conversation but I could tell she was into me. Eventually though I got bored. Partially because I was tired and partially because I wasn’t attracted to her. She was a 5 maybe. I could have easily gone for the number, and in hindsight I should have because of reference experience, but I didn’t. If you take her number you won't call her. And you don't want to hurt her feelings do you... I'm such an awesome dumbass.

Another fun thing coming back to me is an earlier approach. A girl walking infront of me too fast for me to walk ”non creepingly” up to her from behind. I was weighing the idea in my mind if should run up to her or not. ”do it, don’t do it, do it, don’t.. ehh fuck it I’m doing it”. Worked out great. Except she didn’t understand Swedish and hardly any english haha.
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#6
VictoriousSwede

VictoriousSwede

Member

Join Date: 01/13/2012 | Posts: 61

 Friday July 26

I don't have a lot of time to write this up but I'll atleast write something. I'm still going out! but I had alot of things to do since I'm going away tomorrow. I still managed to do a few approaches, to keep the momentum of approaching everyday up. Nothing spectacular, but it's still a win for me. I'll be gone the whole day tomorrow, so will most likely not do any approaches, but I'll try. It's going to be a big social gathering though, that's also stepping outside my comfort zone so I'm happy I decided to do it. 

Will post again on sunday!
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#7
VictoriousSwede

VictoriousSwede

Member

Join Date: 01/13/2012 | Posts: 61

 Saturday July 27

Was away on this social gathering. Tried to be as social as possible and I think I did alright. No approaches though which kind of sucked but there wasn't any time for it anyway.

Sunday July 28

Have this terrible pain i my foot that I can barerly walk. Think I sprained it or something... I still went OUT though for a few errands (that requires me to be social), which is still a massive win for me at this newbie level of the game. Will see if the pain is gone tomorrow, because if it is I'll be out roaming the streets again! :P
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#8
VictoriousSwede

VictoriousSwede

Member

Join Date: 01/13/2012 | Posts: 61

Monday July 29

I’m still going out and keeping my word on working towards becoming more social. I’m still having problems pushing myself further than where I’m currently at. I want to open girls with ”hi, you’re cute…” but arghhhh. Still though, I’m fucking proud of myself for still going out! Overall nothing spectacular happened today, did maybe 6 or 7 approaches. Creating social momentum one day at a time.

I’ll see if I can meet a wing tomorrow and maybe push myself a little harder.
 
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#9
VictoriousSwede

VictoriousSwede

Member

Join Date: 01/13/2012 | Posts: 61

 Tuesday July 30 - First direct approach EVER

It was a good day today. I have been going out almost everday for a week to do approaches. So far I’ve only done approaches like: ”where is XYZ?”, ”What time is it?” or random statements, untill today. This was getting sort of familiar and so I knew I had to step things up. So I went out today with SlowLearner. This guy’s further ahead of me when it comes to approaching so I was hoping he could push me, and vice versa.

Today I did my first direct approach on an hot girl. We were walking through a mall and he saw a girl walking out of a store and said ”her, go approach”. Immediately thoughts like I can’t, what to say etc.. came up. Bu the pushed me and so I actually had to run up from behind , pass her, turn around and open. I opened but it was really weak cause I was nervous as FUCK.

”Hi! This might be a bit random but I think you’re cute so I had to say hello. What’s your name?”
”Chittla" (or something like that)
”What? Chitta?”
”No. Chittla”
”Say it again” Confused face

I still don’t know her name lol. I continued to tell her that I’m very nervous and that I’ve never done this before. Talked some more and eventually told her she could leave if she wanted to, but she stayed. The reason I said that was because I wanted to GTFO. And I did. Twas no burning it to the ground on my part. I would have stayed longer but my nervousness was getting to me, and so I ejected. But man was I proud of myself…

Second approach went better. I met her head on. Still opened abit weak but it worked.

”Hi. Two seconds. This is a bit random but I think you’re cute and I wanted to say hello”

She laughed and started walking and I walked with her. We talked for maybe a minute or two about something random, and then yet again my nervousness took over and I ejected. Comparing it to my first approach I was alot more calm in the beginning and could definitely have taken it further.

These were the only approaches of the day and I must say I am so damn proud of myself it is ridiculous.

What I learned:
- First of all I didn't die! Fuck yes.
- It is massively fun to approach hot girls

What I need to work on:
- I need work on becoming more relaxed. I guess this is something that will seep in with time if I keep going out and pushing myself outside of my comfort zone.
- Open stronger. I know opening is only a small part but it will obviously be my first main point to focus on.
- Speak louder
- Stay longer in sets for god's sake...
- Remebering the girl's name. I don't remeber either of one of their names lol.
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#10
VictoriousSwede

VictoriousSwede

Member

Join Date: 01/13/2012 | Posts: 61

 Wednesday July 31

Good thing about today: I went out.
Bad thing(s): I didn’t approach…

Was gonna meet up with a wing at 16.00 and so I walk from the appartment at 15.30. This I do to sort of clear my head and relax. Only today it didn’t work. My expectations for today was to do the same as yesterday, that is go direct on my approach. Thinking about what I did yesterday made more nervous for every new approachable girl I saw. I was getting in my head big time. So I meet my wing and we walk around and it’s basically him doing approaches. I’m too scared at this point. I do this for maybe an hour and a half before he heads home. I’m disapointed as fuck and to sort of reconcile I did one weak approach on a guy to ask where a place was. I thought I have to atleast do one approach to build momentum.

But after I got home I’ve been thinking. First off all the expectations of me doing a direct approach is actually where I’m at. The ”Where is…” is easy and boring by now and doing indirect is not my style. I also realised that me just going out is still a massive WIN. I’m doing 100% more than I was doing a couple of weeks ago.

Another thing is that the walk I did before was too long to not do any approaches. I need to start building momentum as soon as I step outside of the appartment. Even though it’s small things as looking people in the eyes, saying hello, small everday conversations it’s something I need to do to NOT get stuck in my head. One last thing is that I turned down when my wing wanted to push me into set. Yesterday, him pushing me into sets was what got me to a direct approach for the first time and I can’t allow myself to turn that help down. I know where I want to be and doing approaches is how I'll get there.

What I learned:
- It’s easy to get stuck in your head.
- I need to be happy even though I didn’t approach. I mean I’M STILL GOING OUT.

What I need to work on:
- Start Building momentum ASAP when you go outside.
- Actively wanting my wing to push me, and me to push him into sets.
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