THE FORUMS

December 8th, 2016
The feeling of GROWTH versus not progressing
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dave7-

dave7-

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Join Date: 05/14/2012 | Posts: 4295

  The feeling of GROWTH versus not progressing

The feeling of growth. It is one thing you get in touch with when you take a break from the game, or just are forced in one way or another from doing other things besides game, for a period of time like a week (if you go out everday day, a week from not going out is extremely long time away) or a month or whatever.

It's the same with any activity or hobby that you focus consistently on, that is a part of your life. Such as tennis or golf.

When I'm being consistent at something, I tend to take it for granted that I'm on a constant progression path, like a curve or something. It's an ongoing thing, no matter how slow or fast I'm learning, I'm in the progression zone. I'm trying to figure stuff out, trying to look at a few things I'm doing and trying to change a few things here and there. I might notice something really important I should add that I hadn't realized before.

So that's the process of learning and developing, but I think it's very easy to forget that you're in that learning process when you've been doing it super consistently for a long period of time. You tend to forget how you felt before and what life was like without being focused on learning something.

That's what I realized several weeks ago, when I took a break from the game, unforced and forced for various reasons. I remember I was reading a bunch of books but not going out for few weeks. That was like an eternity of not going out. I realized that I didn't have that feeling of stress that comes from trying to learn pickup and going out. Not really a bad stress, but just an objective stress or tension. That wasn't there anymore, at least in terms of the things that we learn in pickup.

I was doing other things at the time, such as playing a bunch of tennis and golf, and reading like I mentioned. I think those activities also have a stress involved, a learning curve. But in terms of my skills picking up girls and social skills and having fun going out etc etc, there was no stress there. Except if I was really honest there was a stress but it was a negative one, like I was feeling stressed b/c I wasn't learning anymore, and it's a feeling of moving towards scarcity. Same thing can happen with sports, if I play less tennis then I feel that I'm losing my skills and those specific things I was working on, an abundance of things going on, back to a scarcity of skill.

So through all this, I became much more aware of what growth feels like. I knew that I wasn't feeling growth anymore, and it was a weird feeling, b/c even though I'm a slow learner, I've been consistent in the game for the past 2 years or more, and I've always had that feeling of growth and positive stress with it. And not feeling that really sucks! Lol.

So accept the feeling of growth, it's a good stress, and stay persistent.

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#1

jimmydean

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Join Date: 09/22/2012 | Posts: 104

damn she fine...
your gf? do you have her #, answer the 2nd question first...lmao
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#2
dcampo3

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same shit happened to me after quitting the gym. I had gone to the gym for like 2 and half year every day non stop.. then had to quit. I had that realization
Awesome post
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#3
dave7-

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That's a perfect example. I like this topic. :)
dcampo3 wrote:
same shit happened to me after quitting the gym. I had gone to the gym for like 2 and half year every day non stop.. then had to quit. I had that realization
Awesome post
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#4
richie rich

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Interesting question...why are you attributing stress to pickup??
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#5
dave7-

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Check out my super fast response!

LOL j/j. 

It's a postiive form of stress. I think that whenever something changes, there is a stress, in an objective sense. It's like a natural resistance to changing. Plus thinking about it this way helps to see the hard things of pickup as natural and expected. IMO if there is no "stress" then there is no growth. I don't really think it's possible to not have "stress". B/c things are always changing, so might as well be proactive about it. But there is probably a different word than "stress" that could be better here.
richie rich wrote:
Interesting question...why are you attributing stress to pickup??
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#6
richie rich

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Dave you would love this boom. Best book I've ever read. Talks a lot about stress management and anxiety. Not only about tennis but life in general. There's a whole "inner game" series but this is the original.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0679778314
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#7
richie rich

richie rich

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Dave you would love this boom. Best book I've ever read. Talks a lot about stress management and anxiety. Not only about tennis but life in general. There's a whole "inner game" series but this is the original.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0679778314
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#8
richie rich

richie rich

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Dave you would love this boom. Best book I've ever read. Talks a lot about stress management and anxiety. Not only about tennis but life in general. There's a whole "inner game" series but this is the original.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0679778314
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#9
richie rich

richie rich

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Dave you would love this boom. Best book I've ever read. Talks a lot about stress management and anxiety. Not only about tennis but life in general. There's a whole "inner game" series but this is the original.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0679778314
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#10
richie rich

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Dammit. Fucking mobile safari.
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