THE FORUMS

December 10th, 2016
Sincerity: A Super Important, Widely Overlooked Element Of Game
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Tyler

Tyler

Instructor | Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 8726

-Many guys get girls just by being super sincere. They're different from "nice guys" because they still clearly get laid, and aren't "supplicating" the girl for her approval.

-They aren't doing any favours or spending any money on her, they aren't dancing monkeys. They're simply very sincere and get laid.

-Sincerity is confusing because most guys think that in the past they WERE being sincere. But in fact they were simply seeking a reaction out of the girl with compliments, favours, and expensive dates. Their approach was based on selling themselves.

-Sincerity from the RSD perspective simply means that you have EVERYTHING HANDLED. You're coming from a frame that you have 10 girls you're already sleeping with, all the money you'd ever need, and all the sources of good emotions you could ever want.

-That being the case, you're like the celebrity who is so oversaturated with everything they need their brain is practically skewed, and when they go talk to people it's SINCERELY to make them happy and smile.

-A great test for sincerity is can you approach guys with their girlfriends and they (usually, not always...) welcome you into the group.

-Another test is can you move the girl immediately? If you're just thinking "She's going to LOVE this" you can usually move them right away. They can intuitively sense you need nothing and have their best interests in mind.

-Another test is approach anxiety: if you're feeling anxiety it's because you have BAD INTENTIONS and WANT somethin from them, and are afraid you will not GET IT. If you're just offering value, why would you care at all?

-Most guys reek of insincerity and the girls immediately blow them off. This is especially the case when guys try to use "dominance" or "alphaness" as a CRUTCH to avoid being sincere.

-A sincere guy is focused making the OTHER person happy. This is so key because they are no longer self absorbed and therefore feeling SELF PITY.

-Most guys approach girls from a place of total self pity, desperate for the girl to be nice.

-To get out of neediness, consider how "charity" works. When you do charity, you get out of your own head and your own little world of problems, so you wind up feeling good. Most people think charity makes you feel good from "giving" but even moreso it's from getting out of your own head.

-I know I never feel better than when I teach, because it is literally an ESCAPE from all my own problems in life. I'm so focused on the student, it gives me perspective on my own problems because I can get some distance and altitude on them.

-The sincere approach means just walking up to the girl focused on making HER feel good, so as a result you've taken your focus away from your own self absorbtion and self pity, and feel good.

-This isn't a dancing monkey approach, but rather simply putting your mental as you approach her on "make her smile'.

-YOU DO NOT HAVE TO BE A DANCING MONKEY OR INCONGRUENT. Simply do whatever you'd normally do, but put your mental focus on "I'm making her have fun". Later as it becomes natural it's just where your focus will naturally rest.

-Also don't be afraid to diss girls who are rude or any of that, this doesn't mean becoming a push over AT ALL. It's just a general focus where you're enjoying your night and making people feel good.

-From there you still have to be dominant, can bust her balls or tease her, or shove her away, and you MUST LEAD. But simply come from a sincere perspective.

-Lastly consider this analogy. Imagine you went out for dinner with someone who kept drilling you for information, and then pretended not to notice when they brought the bill. SURE you COULD go out with them again, and it wouldn't be a big deal,
but you wouldn't ACTUALLY go out with them again.

-Rather, you'd go out with someone who has their own life and finances handled, and was sincere with you. Someone who would just joke around, and adds value by their presence.

-Sincerity is therefore based on the idea that JUST YOU BEING THERE makes the girl happy. A sincere person approaching is making them happy by default.

-From there simply lead and escalate and you're good to go.

-REMEMBER: dominance and physicality are NOT to be a CRUTCH to avoid being sincere. The worse sticking point in the community is guys just going from girl to girl trying to force compliance, instead of making them feel good.

-Come from a frame that you already have what you want, get out of your own self pity and neediness by focusing on others, and then be a sincere guy. Lead and escalate, and you'll get laid.

-The focus on OTHERS gets you PRESENT TO THE MOMENT, and therefore you have a more FULL RANGE OF HUMAN EMOTIONS as opposed to being a cartoon character who simply wants somethin from them.
-NOTHING in your communication should ever come across from need. Cat calling or desperation is all pathetic, unless it's a parody of itself or something.

--

-HOW DO YOU RECONCILE JULIEN WITH SINCERITY? Julien sincerely wants to make them feel a lot of emotions, and believes women want to be emotional.  Don't get caught up in social conditioning concepts of being "verbally accurate" and rather focus on a sincere INTENTION.

-The focus on her TRIGGERS you to be in a good emotional state, because you get out of your own self pity. I repeat.... You want to be

-The girl will be attracted as long as you can maintain the sincere interest to make her happy, but as soon as she senses that you're trying to GAIN something from her, she assumes she's too ABOVE YOU that you're not able to just keep having fun.

-When you're sincere your brain will open the floodgates freely.

-But your brain will oftentimes FREEZE when you lose the sincere interest to make her have fun, because something inside you knows you don't have good intentions, so you lose your fluidity.

-As far as escalation, I can typically move girls the second I open them, and makeout very early BECAUSE I'm sincere. But if you move her to gain value, she can tell she's too good for you and loses interest.

OTHER NOTES
-Communicate as a person to a person, not a person to an object.

-The girl isn't an object of validation or good emotions, she's a PERSON.

-What if I'm out of state? Well simply put your MENTAL FOCUS as you walk up on "This will be really fun for her" As an experiment, constantly repeat in your mind "I'm going make her have so much fun by my approach".
-Assume the frame that just a sincere person in front of her has value.

-You want to avoid self pity. You want to be putting out good energy, not trying to GAIN energy from her.

Tyler
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#1

Leviathan

Senior Member

Join Date: 09/30/2012 | Posts: 154

Hey man!

In the beginning of the night it goes well because I want us to have a good time.

But how to reconcile this with pushing it at three a.m when I'm sincerely tired and want to go home?

Thanks for the writeup btw:)
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#2

NothingToLose

Respected Member

Join Date: 01/11/2013 | Posts: 451

Wow awesome!

I think this is what i failed to realize when i just started... I think i went from needy and reaction seeking in a "nice manner" (nice guy) to reaction seeking and needy in a  "i don't give a fuck about anybody but myself" manner.  So basicly i was still as needy and reaction seeking. So far all my pulls have basicly been by not trying at all, i guess i WAS NICE though, without expecting anything in return! (?)
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#3

dylan24

Junior Member

Join Date: 05/24/2013 | Posts: 23

 I want you inside me
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#4
Yoda

Yoda

Trusted Member

Join Date: 03/22/2008 | Posts: 1215

Quality post.
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"How can I make this fun?"

"Let`s go over and see what this girl is like."
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#5

Chai

Member

Join Date: 12/07/2012 | Posts: 97

 When I was a child, I watched cartoons on Saturday morning.

When I became a man, I read Tyler's articles Saturday afternoon. 

Goes all the way to the basics... Dale Carnegie.

Straight emphasis on being sincere. 
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 "So, what this all comes down to is looking into you and your past and think what truly defines you? What makes you tick? What really keeps you going? Not something that makes you happy for the next five minutes, or happy for Tuesday night.

When you TRULY find out, I think that is when you become undeniably attractive to women.

You become that true flawless natural walking up with that full glass of value."

-Moondoggy
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#6
dave7-

dave7-

Trusted Member

Join Date: 05/14/2012 | Posts: 4300

Thanks for these notes! It's helpful to be reminded of not getting so obsessed with our own inner world. :)
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#7
Seedro

Seedro

Trusted Member

Join Date: 10/26/2012 | Posts: 1141

Stop staying out so long and go home when you feel tired.. also go out a bit later.. work your cardio on early weekdays/sunday so you're not so tired... I'm serious and I can relate... if my cardio is lowered I do a lot less fun shit... there's a few days of the week I try to chill to save my energy for the club... then a few days where I use a shitload of energy to be able to treat the club like a relaxing environment in comparison to the strain I put on myself earlier in the week...

This is what top tier males naturally tend to do...

Also this thread is pretty much the only shit I focus on in game any more... the other shit is a waste of brain power, I just need the tools to truly take the frame of offering the girl value, and that for me is self-development ideals that make ME satisfied...

If I'm feeling truly optimal, the objective truth if anyone who has value in the world analyzed my life accomplishments compared to 99.999% of the girls I've ever interacted with, would judge me as providing way more value to the world than the girl provides.

If I believe that to the core I get creepy massive attraction where I would normally get walked all over.
Leviathan wrote:
Hey man!

In the beginning of the night it goes well because I want us to have a good time.

But how to reconcile this with pushing it at three a.m when I'm sincerely tired and want to go home?

Thanks for the writeup btw:)
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http://www.thescienceforum.com/new-hypotheses-ideas/23360-chemical-integ...  - Stay ahead of the curve of males by staying evolved... evolved = get poose (updated April 17th, 2013)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4j-CL7A7B7k - Chemical Integration vid
http://www.rsdnation.com/node/256096 - My important game ideas compiled
http://www.rsdnation.com/node/443667 - Building an army of bad bitches, one boring office broad at a time.
http://www.rsdnation.com/node/455130 - Be a hero, get chased, less cold-approaching, more warm-approaching.
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#8
bigjew629

bigjew629

Trusted Member

Join Date: 04/08/2012 | Posts: 1582

-Communicate as a person to a person, not a person to an object.

-The girl isn't an object of validation or good emotions, she's a PERSON.


Only parts I disagree with. I say wait until a chick wins you over, THEN you can start treating her like a person and not a sex object. Keep in mind I don't treat anyone like an object of validation or good emotions. Chicks to me are just another way of feeling stimulated, I can go to them to have sex if masturbation isn't fun anymore. Thats about it. When a chick has won me over (by both being good company AND providing good sex), thats when she goes from sex object to person.

But yeah I'm a big fan of speaking your mind and being sincere with chicks and then combining that with the basics of cold approach like leading, the three second rule, and escalating and so on.
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#9

Hamilton

Senior Member

Join Date: 11/12/2012 | Posts: 144

Excellent, a very heartwarming message.
No good person should be mistreated because of pickup, we need to offer them better than their normal lifes.
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#10
matt_c

matt_c

Respected Member

Join Date: 11/20/2011 | Posts: 471

Thanks Tyler.

I think my current thought has been closer to "when I open you, you're getting the chance to meet a very cool guy".

Am keen to substitute "I am opening you and this is going to be amazing FOR YOU"

The focus on THIS INTERACTION, right here, right now. I'm going to make this amazing for you. I'm going to do my absolute best, for you. I KNOW IT.
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