THE FORUMS

July 26th, 2017
So i think i have hit rock bottom.. [Non-Pua]
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#21

Morf Sranimes

Junior Member

Join Date: 05/18/2013 | Posts: 16

AlexV wrote:
 take a jog till you can't anymore, then take a shower, report back, unless you die or soemthing from starvation (oh i'm sorry, were you looking for pitty? take action or gtfo)
True. Pity is useless. Take action or gtfo. when i tell my mind this it instantly brings up an excuse.
it seems like i am going around in circles day by day by day. 
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#22

Morf Sranimes

Junior Member

Join Date: 05/18/2013 | Posts: 16

Manwhore wrote:
 You're going about things the wrong way mang. You think you're trying to build your social circle and your value but you're accidentally damaging it instead. 
You've Completely Nailed it !! How do i stop that ???? 
i have damaged it completely. I dont want anything from anyone.
i genuinely want to chill with people and i am always helping everyone. why is it so difficult ?
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#23
Torsh

Torsh

Senior Member

Join Date: 03/05/2012 | Posts: 192

if you start with one thing its easier to start and then you use the momentum you get from that one thing... I would probably advise you to read a book like power of now, or ultramind solutions where you get advised about suplements like 5htp etc. when you feel up too it start meditating 
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#24
Torsh

Torsh

Senior Member

Join Date: 03/05/2012 | Posts: 192

If you listen to someone and get rapport with them, they will become happy
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#25
giants42

giants42

Junior Member

Join Date: 05/08/2013 | Posts: 5

 Morf Sranimes, I just finished a book that basically describes what you are going through in your social circle situation (it's called 'No More Mr. Nice Guy'). What I took from this book that could help you is in the way you are approaching your friendships. You seem to be spending a lot of time doing things for your friends and are expecting them to return the favor (which is called a covert contract - where you do something with expectations that the other person will reciprocate even though you don't tell them that is what you want). In a perfect world they would but unfortunately this place is far from perfect. Sure, when they REALLY need you to be there then go but what I believe you need to focus on the most right now is you. You have to discover your passions and treat yourself as the number one not these people you call your friends. People like people who take care of themselves which is the opposite of what you are doing! All I have to say but I know it will all work out with you broski and that book might help that process go a little bit faster if you are willing to follow the steps it tells you to follow.

Oh ya and watch this for some motivation:

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#26

excitingusernamehere

Junior Member

Join Date: 04/14/2013 | Posts: 12

So here's my thoughts on your current situation. I think it has alot of helpful stuff in it, so hopefully others can get some use from it too.

It is obvious that you are stuck in a VERY negative head space (aka, paradigm / mindset / reality / frame of mind / outlook etc. etc.) whose only purpose is to sustain itself by finding evidence that reinforces these negative beliefs and views in your head. One way of looking at it, is that your current mindset is a living, breathing entity which  is keeping itself alive by feeding on negativity. Take for example, the situation when your friend cancelled on your meeting. He most likely had a legitimate reason for not being able to make it, but because of your negative mindset, your thoughts told you it was YOUR fault that he didn't come, thus reinforcing your negative beliefs and perpetuating the shitty image you have about yourself ('a beliefs only purpose is to prove that it is true').

Once you understand the fact that it is your mindset that is perceiving everything negatively as well as finding evidence to reinforce itself... you can begin to change it.

I went through this very process, and I am now at a stage where if get blown out by a friend tomorrow, my thought process would be as follows... 'That's a shame, he must have something important else on. Oh well, we can rearrange for another time'... I don't perciieve these external events to be a reflection of me... I have literally trained my brain to put a positive spin on EVERYTHING. YOU CAN ALSO ACHEIVE THIS! Your negative mindset will most likely tell you this isn't true and you can't do it because you're 'special' and you are 'different', but just be aware that your mind is very fucking clever at reinforcing its beliefs. 

In order to change your negative frame of mind, you have to be AWARE OF your thoughts and literally CATCH them before they send you down that negative train of thought (you have about 3-5 seconds to catch the negative thought) . From here, you can begin to question them and ask... 'is that really true? or is that just my fucked up negative mindset creating evidence out of nothing '. After this, you can begin to reframe things POSITIVELY, untill you get to the point where negativity won't enter your consciousness. This can take time and practice but keep at it, and eventually it will stick.

Other things that may help you move into this new positive mindset are things like: treating people how you would want to be treated (which will help your positive thoughts become part of your reality), keeping fit or weighlifting, pursuing your hobbies and passions / eating good healthy food / LEARNING (literally learn as much as you can about EVERYTHING... philosophy / economics / science) or meditation (this doesn't really work for me). Once you start moving into this new headspace you will begin to find your outlook on life changing, and thus your actions/behaviours/thoughts changing for the better, which will also change the way others percieve you. To help clarify all of this, watch this video on paradigm changes... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XMSmi6oQLu4

Furthermore, (you may or may not have done this) you can go even deeper by looking into eckhart tolles stuff (videos on youtube) who says your thoughts, which have been largely shaped by society/family/friends, are not actually you, and that beneath them is the stillness and peace which is the real you. But just something to consider...

I hope this has helped but it is a very personal journey and so I can only give my advise but some key things I would advise you to fully understand and adopt are the following thoughts:

- DON'T over analyse or overthink self help advise given to you... instead use it as an internal pointer to help direct you towards your full potential (VERY CRUCIAL!!).
- Accept the fact that it is down to YOU and no one else to shape your life, so that you can begin to OWN IT AND MASTER IT.
- Stay committed to the journey of improving your life and view the fact that you are actively seeking to improve yourself as a positive thing.
- Be aware that your negative thoughts and feelings are a result of your perception that is created by your mindset, and that you have to consciously work to change them!

So thats it from me, good luck on your journey brother!
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#27
Phospher

Phospher

Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/04/2012 | Posts: 1279

 My advice:  start the gym or martial arts.
it will help a lot
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#28

tsugau

Junior Member

Join Date: 12/27/2012 | Posts: 10

I have felt like you in periods of my life. Just set a high goal for yourself and work towards it.
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