THE FORUMS

May 24th, 2017
One for the road... (30 Day Challenge)
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#41
Scale

Scale

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Join Date: 11/26/2007 | Posts: 412

Thursday 27/6-13. First night in Buenos Aires.
First day going out in Buenos Aires. After waking up from my second nap of the day (!) which was a couple of hours in length, a group of guys from the hostel I'm staying out were heading out to the club. We started off with a bar that we we're denied entry to. Then went to another place called Makena or something similar. Rock bar. Mostly guys in there. Then we went to a place called Kika. It felt like Swedish Solidaritet. Funny observation; the women that we're dancing in the VIP-areas that were supposed to be their 10s were like swedish 7s. Crazy. But all in all, there were definitely a few cuties there.

Was mostly passive in the environment for multiple reasons; new environment, with people that don't take action, language barrier etc. I did a bunch of "Hey"-sets, and the favorite "Speak to them in Swedish"-thing. Had a few interactions that hooked but I wasn't in the mood to take advantage of it.

Takeaways;
Go harder. While tonight was allright (I just wanted to get my thumb out of my ass), next time, I want to go harder. Open right when entering, open harder, don't accept a no for an answer.

Practice harder. Nothing will come free here. Going out here will be training with resistance. I've been listening to the audiobook the Talent Code where he talks about what creates talent. One example he gives is that the source of brazilian football talent is that in brazil they often play with a ball that is half the size and several times heavier than a regular football. That makes the practice that much heavier, and simply creates better players. Buenos Aires is my heavy ball. Time to practice.

Strategy. Based solely on tonight, I think that I will not go clubbing as much as I do in Stockholm. The clubs start filling up till 0200, keep going till 0700 and are fairly expensive (water for €4-5). I will aim to go to more bars and hopefully to do more daygame. Time to build a roster again.
 
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#42
Scale

Scale

Respected Member

Join Date: 11/26/2007 | Posts: 412

28/6-13 Friday - Day 2 
Daytime. While on my way to look at an apartment, I see a cute blonde standing by the side of the road. I went in, asked her if she had a boyfriend and if she wanted to have a coffee with me. I had a pretty uneven and pushy vibe, perhaps from me purposely not going out for the last two weeks, or perhaps from having two people watching me while I was talking to her.

Nonetheless, I got a massive jolt from it. Will focus more on day game in the next coming months.

---

During the day, I met a guy that invited me and a friend to a house party. Upon arriving, I was a bit taken aback. It felt like everybody was hispanic and they were all speaking Spanish. Somehow, I ended up speaking to three Argentinian girls, none of which spoke English. One of them was quite beautiful in a novel sort of way; tall and skinny but curvy.

In the beginning I was pretty nervous. It was probably in part of being in a completely new environment but probably partly because I was forced to used my limited Spanish. It went pretty well all in all.

The house party ended with everybody leaving for the club. We arrive about one hour later than everybody else for various reasons. I see the tall girl from before, go up to her, talk a bit and spin her around in the air. I'm in a good mood. I ask her if she has a boyfriend, she declines. As the night is progressing, I think I see her checking me out, but she's tangled up with another guy from the party.

At a certain point, they stop talking, I see my opportunity and I start talking to her. Quickly, the other guy comes up and taps me on the side. He pulls me aside and in Spanish tells me something like the following, in what I perceive as a semi-aggressive tone of voice.

Him: I don't know how you do in Sweden, she is my girl, if you don't understand that then we can take it outside
Me: (Start tooling him) Can you repeat? / Can you speak more slowly? (a couple of times, since he is speaking Spanish)
Him: She is my girl
Me: Is she your girlfriend?
Him: Yes.
Me: Is she really your girlfriend?
Him: Yes, she is my girlfriend.

He continues on to say that he is the reason that I got in at the club and yadda yadda, not really true (although it turns out that he organised for the rest to get in, but as we were late, we got in by our own accord) (Side-LOL, it's funny how I always seem to get into fits with organizer people. Reminds me of Barcelona in '08. )

I tell him that it's fine, that I didn't know.

He wants to "put me in the spot" and goes something like "you need to say you're sorry". I give him the nigga please face and start laughing. I will back off, but I won't let him run me over. I tell him I won't say I'm sorry because I didn't know. He tells me I should've asked him if it was his girl first. I'm like; what??.

The tone of the interaction has turned even more aggressive. My adrenaline has spiked. The situation dissolves by me clapping him semi-condescendingly on the shoulder going "It's all good, it's all good" and him shoving me slightly and walking away.

My state sort of dropped after this. Later in the night, I see them hooking up. Further state drop. But good on him, even though he felt sort of douchy (I probably felt douchy to him aswell), he marked his territory, stood his ground and got results. Kudos.

Takeaways;
Alcohol. I had a beer at the beginning of the night and half a drink at the club (drinks are included with the entrance). If the argument had happened while I was sober, it probably would have affected me less on an emotional level and I would've been able to get back on track more easily afterwards.

Girl says x, Guy says y. In the situation above, when the girl has said to me that she doesn't have a boyfriend, and he is blatantly saying that he is her boyfriend, I should've

1) Involved the girl. I could've brought in the girl and said something like "He says he's your boyfriend, you told me you didn't have a boyfriend. What is the truth?"

2) Told the guy. I could've told the guy that she told me that she didn't have a boyfriend. It could possibly have curbed the escalation of the argument.

State drop. I know logically that what I needed to do after losing my state was the exact same thing that I did before it happened; just walking around, having fun and talking to people. But I didn't do it nonetheless, because I was tired.

Hard start. I did open a few sets when entering, but I should really put more effort into it. Before doing anything else, open three, four, five sets, until you get going.

More fun!!! I feel like I'm so goal-oriented a lot of the time that I'm missing the whole point of going out. I want to have more fun!

---

It feels like this type of night will be common in Argentina.

Good.

This is training with a heavy ball.

THIS IS FOOT SALE.


---

Other things;

Clubs. Need to get more information about how to get into clubs for free. I've been paying when going out and it is quickly accumulating to a painful level.

Wings. I will contact everyone from RSDs Inner Circle in Buenos Aires to see which guys are available to go out.
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#43
Scale

Scale

Respected Member

Join Date: 11/26/2007 | Posts: 412

29/6-13 Saturday - Day 3
Had a barbeque at the house that I just moved into. Ate a lot of meat.

There was about 20-25 people there.

I had some small-talk with some people, but generally, I felt that there really wasn't a point to me talking to many of them.

Had a really nice internal click when talking to a really cute venezuelan girl. I didn't make any moves or anything, but it's easy to notice that when you feel like you're attracted to the other person, talking becomes easy.

Takeaways;
Practice mentality. I really need to take on the "do it for the practice"/"do it for the reference point"-mentality more. Last night I took very little action, because I didn't really see any opportunity for me to take it anywhere. There was just a bunch of random people there, most of which were guys. What's the point of talking to them?

1) Practice. Even when talking to guys, girls that have boyfriends and ugly girls, there's something to be learned. I can for instance work on

- Shortening the space between my mind and mouth.
- Networking,
- Vibing.
- Having fun.

2) Staying sharp. While at a set point in time there might not be any opportunity in a given context, that opportunity might arise later on. If I have taken right action, I will be in the right headspace to capitalize on that opportunity. If I have not taken right action, I will not be in the right headspace. Simple as that.

High threshold. I think generally that I have a too high of a threshold, about what to talk about. My friend that I'm here with talks about anything. Sometimes I think he talks about shit that is pretty bland and boring, but he still keeps talking. There is a lesson to be learned from that I think. You can say boring stuff as long as you believe that it has value or that it is interesting. I have noticed that people sometimes get bored while he is speaking - bored by the content - but they still enjoy having the conversation with him.
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#44
Scale

Scale

Respected Member

Join Date: 11/26/2007 | Posts: 412

4/7-13 Thursday
Had a barbeque at our house, a bunch of people came over. I felt more at home this time than last time. People started eating, drinking and doing drugs. I stayed clear of it all.

In some ways, it feels a little like I've started over when coming to Buenos Aires. That probably has some truth to it; in terms of environment or ecology, I have very little to support me. I have to be very clear in my intent regarding what I want out of this experience.

During the barbeque, I just focus on getting going, specifically "Shorten the distance between my mouth and my head". I think it works well to get me in a social mood.

Later on during the night, we go to a fourth of july party, mixed 50/50 with hispanics and foreigners. I do not feel like taking any action, particularly since I both "know" a bunch of people there and that the place is sort of empty enough to not be anonymous. In my head, I think "Well, I can go home and reflect on this", but I realize how incredibly lame that is. Results come from action, not from reflection. I decide to just push through it. I start talking to the few girls that are actually there.

Cl. Meet a french girl that I spend maybe an hour with. We just keep talking about random stuff, but it is a nice conversation. I don't obviously notice that she's into me, but her actions sort of speak for it. When her friends go to the bar, she statyed with me. When they left for their house, she stayed with me. When the conversation fell silent, she stayed with me. After a while, she tells me she's going home and I decide to let her slip away. Her friend invited me to a party tomorrow, so I have no pressure on me time-wise.

Later on, when she left, one of her friends told me "I really thought you were going home together, you spent like an hour talking to each other".

Takeaways;
Process baby. Baby steps! Focus on the principles. Shorten the distance between mouth and head. Take baby steps. Talk to everyone. Good night to reinforce good habits that I have not really pushed on consciously since arriving here.
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#45
Scale

Scale

Respected Member

Join Date: 11/26/2007 | Posts: 412

5/7-13 Friday
Woke up at midnight and decided I wanted to go out. Or rather, I decided that if I didn't go out, I would regret it later on. I'm pretty aware of staying on my goals currently. In a semi-haze, I take a cab to the party I was invited to the day before. I talk a bit with the girl that invited me, but then disappear to start talking to the french girl who was also there.

We talked and talked about nothing in peculiar. I was very much out of state; very much in a sleep-haze. I decided I would stick it out and see what happens. I stood with her (not only) for the rest of the night. When the place started to clear out, and I got my first 1on1 time with her, I took her and kissed her. Lifted her up into the air and pushed her against the wall. We made out for a while, probably longer than usual.

After a while, I tell her she should show me her room. She says she shares it with someone else. I tell her we should go to my place. She's a little hesitant. I tell her "it's really close, we can go hang out and you can come back if you want". We go to my place and have some good times.

Takeaways;
Don't need state to get laid. I wasn't in a negative mood, but I was very much not in mode. Just sticking it out is sometimes enough "just be around when she wants to get laid". Again, need to lower my threshold of what I think is required for me to get laid. Just assume she wants to sleep with you, no matter what. "Women are sex-crazed nymphomaniacs".
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#46
Scale

Scale

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Join Date: 11/26/2007 | Posts: 412

6/7-13 Saturday
Saturday. Drank in total two drinks tonight, and also bought drinks for two people. I'm noticably affected.

This was a pretty rough night in sort of ways, even though I got laid last night.

We had dinner, four people in total, three dudes and one hot french girl. All of the guys were more or less into the girl, running their own game in whatever way they could. I felt inferior in certain ways tonight. It's weird. After all this time, I still feel inferior? WTF is up with that.

To whom?

Most notably, to a guy who was successfully running his shit. I don't think he particularly has his shit together, but it works for him. Most notably, I think I was jealous of the attention he was receiving from women in the club. I would say in part that it was because of his Swedish look and in part because of how he dresses.

BUT - putting the initial attention he receives from women aside, he was capitalizing upon it. Not in terms of taking it anywhere, but I notice that he could hold his own with whoever he was talking to.

To separate fact from opinion what really happend was this;

Upon entering the club, a girl was instantly on him. They started making out and his state was boosted. He jumped around and talked to a bunch of people. Not to any really hot girls, but in my eyes the people he talked to, he connected with.

What I was doing: Standing with the third guy and the hot french girl, scanning the room for value, drinking alcohol. I did not talk to any other people for a long time. I would say I was very outcome dependent - I wasn't talking to people just to have fun, but to get something from it.

I did not stick to the process
1) Drank alcohol
2) It took a long time before I started talking to someone.
3) I did not stick with it.

Improve;
- Interested. When I talk to people, I'm not really interested in what they say unless it's a hot girl. I need to chill the fuck out and enjoy myself.
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#47
Scale

Scale

Respected Member

Join Date: 11/26/2007 | Posts: 412

Lolling at the previous post. 

This is what you get from the combination of drinking and making fast (false) conclusions.
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#48
Scale

Scale

Respected Member

Join Date: 11/26/2007 | Posts: 412

11/7-13
Was out. Felt really good because even though I met up with some friends, I was out alone. It felt like I was an independent unit.

Spent some time playing pool, meeting some people from my school I haven't met before. They were cool.

Went to a bar and met up the girl I had laid last week and some other people I know. Did not do any cold approaches.

I need to be more gangster.

Improve;
- Find out where is good on any given night. Bar-ish. I want a place that is crowded enough to let me be anonymous but not loud so you can't speak.
- Find people to go out with.
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#49
Scale

Scale

Respected Member

Join Date: 11/26/2007 | Posts: 412

12/7-13
First REAL night in Buenos Aires. Have been out many times before during my stay here, but I haven't really done my thing.

Tonight I didn't drink and I kept opening girls, even though nothing popped. No excuses.

Felt really good.

Got a few leads from some Argentinian girls, will try to set up a day 2 during the week.

I didn't really get going straight away, but at some point I told myself "I might get rejected, but I'd rather do something and get rejected than do nothing at all and regret not doing anything when I get home". 
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#50
Scale

Scale

Respected Member

Join Date: 11/26/2007 | Posts: 412

13/7-13
Was out with some people tonight. Started out completely sober.

We went to a bar and I opened a set. Completely friendly frame, which was OK, since she was married.

Later on, we went to the club.

I erred in the way that I did not stick to the process.

1) I didn't open straight from the get go.
2) I wandered around, not taking action for a long while
3) When I started taking action, I did it slowly and not with pauses in between.

At some point, I felt that my ego was really big. It's hard to put your finger on, but it's like when you're spending so much of your mental capacity "trying to self-improve", sometimes you can get stuck in that self-image. I was too attached to being consistent with my self-image.

I did open a bunch of set, but didn't get into state. Problem was;

1) I took a long time between sets.
2) I judged myself during and in between sets.
3) My mind was too loud during the whole thing.

At some point, I was like fuck it, I'm going to have a night off. Had in total two drinks and had my face painted as Batman. It was pretty kewl.

Here are some takeaways from being drunks;

- Low criteria for approach. If trouble arises, I deal with it then.
- Low criteria for success. I don't get rejected, it's just part of the fun.
- Talk to everyone. Guys, girls, inbetweens. Whatever. Just having fun.
- Language barrier. Say whatever, the emotion behind the conversation is more important than the words themself.
- Stop thinking.

---

Notes;
- Boyfriend? Cool, lets hang out. Several times during the night, I encountered girls that claimed they had boyfriends. I didn't really push it when they said they did. Instead, I exchanged numbers and what not to arrange more platonic meetings. This is in line with what I wanted for my time in BsAs; I want to create more of a social group thing. Also, meeting argentinian people, whether they have partners or not, will be a great experience I think. Furthermore, they probably have single friends.
- Puta. End of the night, I'm standing outside the club, talking to a dude. I spot a girl I've number-closed earlier. She and her group of female friends are talking to a pretty big dude. After talking with the guy for a while, the other dude tells his friend, in Spanish, "Why are you talking to that whore?" when the friend responds "No, he's got a good vibe". On one level, I felt like I wanted to retort in some way. On another level, I didn't really feel I could. Even though I had only "Facebook-closed" the girl, it felt like it was the furthest I could take it in my current state. What should I have done, jumped in and gotten blown out trying to tool another guy in Spanish?
- Language barrier. Stop worrying about the language. I notice a factor behind me getting into my head is that I'm constantly looking for words or trying to speak correctly. Just let it go; don't worry. It doesn't matter if you speak correctly. It's more important to have a good vibe going.
- Process oriented. For the next month or so, I'm just going to focus on being process oriented. I will evaluate each night through the lens of "Did I stick to the process or not?".

1) Open all
2) Minimize time between interactions
3) Never judge yourself (Every pickup is a hundred out of ten)
4) Find something funny about each interaction
5) Short and sweet early on, burn it to the ground later in the night
6) Push each interation a little further
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