THE FORUMS

December 5th, 2016
One for the road... (30 Day Challenge)
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Scale

Scale

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Join Date: 11/26/2007 | Posts: 412

 Today was the first day of my 30 Day Challenge. I once attempted this before, a few years ago, but quit about halfway through for some reason.

I think I'm a little older, a little wiser, and a little more aware that there are no shortcuts.

I'm leaving the country a longer period in about 30 days, so I thought I might as well burn shit to the ground before I leave. Also, the women in Stockholm are fucking gorgeous, hence the name of this journal...



Will keep this fairly short.

My goals;
- Have a lot of sex (one for the road...)
- Do day game a couple of times. Have avoided this for whatever reason.
- Go out solo if need be.

Haven't quite decided how I feel about dates with women in my rotation etc. While I feel like I want to spend as much time on the streets as possible for the remainder of my time, I also want to enjoy the people that are currently around me. We'll see what happens on that front.
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#1
Scale

Scale

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Join Date: 11/26/2007 | Posts: 412

 DAY 1 - WEDNESDAY
I was out at the Cafe. Everybody from the community was there. Seems like it's the new hangout spot. It's all good, most are pretty cool guys. 

I was pretty unclear in my intent. Had just had sex before coming out, I was hungry and since I'm going abroad later tonight, I need to pack my bags. It was unusually difficult for me to hook girls tonight, and this probably had something to do with it. Whatever. 

Notable sets; 
Tall fucking hottie blondie. Probably one of the hottest girls there tonight. Went up and started talking to a friend, and she was standing with them. Then I started talking to her and she started shoving me. I called her a fucking rude brat. She started mouthing back. I just kept talking over her while she tried to talk over me. FRAME BATTLE - ENGAGE. I went all in and started talking about how her dad must've spoiled her and how she knows she's being a spoiled and rude brat. Suddenly she stopped (I won). She shifted, I saw she got interested. Good reference points - when she does something stupid, call her out on it. Later on I kept on being aggressive but it didn't really lead anywhere. 



Short blondie. Don't exactly remember what we talked about, I just remembered how she was in a certain state / train of thought, and I just completely ignored it and pushed my own train of thought upon her. I think a lot of hooking a girl is just that. Reminds me of the Hot Seat. 

Takeaways;
- If she does something stupid, call her out on it. 
- Make sure she steps into your frame upon contact. 
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#2
Scale

Scale

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Join Date: 11/26/2007 | Posts: 412

 DAY 2 - THURSDAY

First night in Paris. Went out for dinner at a restaurant. Was completely fatigued after travelling, probably slept like three out of forty hours.

Opened a few sets during the night. Started taking with strangers on the street, in the club etc. Most of them just friendly.

Notable sets;
Natasha. Went to a hip club that unfortunately was pretty empty. Was chilling hardcore in my head because it was so empty. After a while I activate and start talking to a hot brunette. She seems really receptive. We chat for a bit until I ask her out for a date tomorrow. She wanted to switch numbers but I suggest Facebook. She takes my name for Facebook. Pretty weak sauce all over it, I should have at least taken her name. Whatever. It was the first real set of the evening where it was clearly man to woman and not "friendly stranger".

Takeaways;
Do your own thing. Since I'm in Paris with civilians, I need to remind myself to do my own thing. I'm not in the club to dance for five hours. I think it wasn't a problem really tonight because I was doing my own thing, but it bears repeating.

Breathe into your balls. Stay present while talking to girls. Breathe into your balls.

-

Morning after. I realise that last night I was playing not to lose. I love when you find the meta significance of something. So focal point is: play to win.
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#3
Scale

Scale

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Join Date: 11/26/2007 | Posts: 412

DAY 3 - FRIDAY

Did some day game. Went to Starbucks and contemplated on my mental situation last night. Realized that I had been playing not to lose rather than playing to win (at least the parts that were in my direct control). Decided I would start opening girls at random on the street.

Isabelle. Opened a girl that was sitting in front of me right at Starbucks. Before I started talking with her she seemed completely aloof, but after opening her she seemed really receptive. Funny how perception can be deceitful. Talked for a bit and then I said I was going on a walk. Invited her to go with (instadate). She accepted. We went on a little walk before she had to head off to work. I asked her what she was doing during the weekend and she escalated "do you want to meet up?". We exchanged Facebooks, but before we separated she said she had a boyfriend.

British girl. Sat next to a girl by the opera "mind if I join you?". It was pretty weak but friendly. Talked for a bit before she headed off for work.

Emmy. British girl again. She was attainable and physically available. Talked for a bit. Asked her where she was going, and then asked if I could join. We had no chemistry so when we arrived at the place I excused myself. Could've talked to her more in the beginning before tagging along, and joined another girl instead.

Takeaways;
Assume positive outcome. You thought a girl would be uninterested but she turned out to be really sweet. Some people might just look a certain way. Don't associate visually based prejudice with negative outcome. Just try it out and see what happens.
Proactive selection. Now I was looking a lot after women who would be suitable for me to talk to, like combination of not ugly and alone (and probably not too good looking as well, if we're going to be honest). This is ok as I'm new at day game, but I want to become more proactive. Stop moving sets, talk to hotter women, groups etc.
Try direct. Most of my opens were indirect that slowly escalated. I want to try more direct "you have lovely xxx".
Rationalization. Sometimes I think like "Fuck, it's too bad that hot girl is with her boyfriend." but it struck me today that that's just some bullshit I tell myself. The truth is that even if she wasn't with her boyfriend I would probably not talk to her for some other reason. And how do I know it's her boyfriend? Maybe just a friend?

---

Nighttime.

Eat dinner at a pub. Salad baby. Tuna steak and spinach. Primed for success.

Start talking to a girl who looks like a girl in my rotation. She's kind of on, but it really has that first set of the night feeling. Pounce off to two tall girls. One is super receptive.

Spaniard. Start talking. Good vibe. I've noticed I do something when I'm in a good state. I give the girl a steady eye contact, but very seldomly. Most of the time I just listen intently but look at some point in to the empty space. Me and my friend ate bouncing to another location. I quickly ask if she has a boyfriend. She declines. I say we should meet up. She's like I can't tomorrow. I'm like that's okay, I can't tomorrow either. She's like what are you doing tomorrow. I'm like I'm meeting someone else ;). Good times. She initiates change of Facebooks, we head out.

Pause. Have a massive poo at a hotel.

Continue to next place.

Have massive poo again.

I feel completely wrecked because of my stomach. Talk to some people but it's very weak.

Next place.

Jewish name. As soon as we enter I grab a hottie. It's on. We start talking nonsense. I lift her up. We start making out. She start saying she needs to go home etc. Real cute french girl. Soft ass lips. Suddenly my stomach problems were gone. I would've attempted to pull her if I had better logistics. We exchange Facebooks and make some plans for Sunday.

Takeaways;
Million chip mindset. I was in a shitty state in the last place, but it was different in the next place. The girl doesn't know what you've been through. She only judges your present state. Every chip can be a winner.

I think I seriously had food poisoning tonight. My stomach has been crazy, my biggest concern has been not to shit myself.
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#4
Scale

Scale

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Join Date: 11/26/2007 | Posts: 412

 DAY 4 - SATURDAY

Slept until like 2330. I've been completely fatigued after having the running poo for the last 24h. Probably the worst I've had in a long time, my stomach hit the reset button completely. When I woke up I really wanted to just go back to sleep but a part of me was like Fuck that, that's just a waste. Had some coffee and played some music and started getting in a better mood.

Went to a cocktail bar with two friends.

Notable sets;
Balet dancer. Two women opened me while I was sitting down. Both seem totally into me. Start talking to the Asian one. We have a normal conversation for a few minutes and after a while I get into a story about sex parties. She's a little taken a back but I'm super calibrated. She seemed really into the interaction but I didn't see it going anywhere. Should have taken her Facebook though.

Rebecka. Long set. Met a tall, hot, swedish brunette. Started out by me talking to her guy friend. A bit later I see her and say hi, we click. We go dozier thing. I'm leading her around the venue. We sit down in a sofa. Start making out. Awesome, super soft lips. Hot and heavy, pull Window is approaching. Since I'm sharing my hotel room with my friend, I don't want to pull her straight away without asking my friend. I still tell her weakly that I might want to take her home. I excuse myself and find my friend and get the approval. Then I look for her. After a while I find her. Try to pull her, but she's not down. Make out some more. Try again. Nope. Make out, push her against a wall. Nope. Start fingerings her. Nope. I do notice that her no's are getting weaker and weaker though. I ask her why she can't come, she says it's complicated. Something about not being over her ex. I say, it's fine, let's just go to my place and see what happens. She's like I won't sleep with you. I'm like that's fine. She's uncertain, but seems into it. She says she needs to find her friends and talk to them, but that she might want to join me. her go. Now, I don't want to stand there and wait for her so I start chatting up other girls. Play it cool. Later on i see her talking to her friends who are all heading home and she's like "I'm going to stay here". I don't say anything, I just pass on by with the girl I was currently speaking to. Then she disappeared.

Takeaways;
Talk sexual. I put sex on the table with the Balet dancer. You don't have to keep talking about it over and over again, just bring it up at some point and then let it simmer in her mind.
Be aggressive in key moments. I should have been more aggressive when she was heading home. Sometimes it cool to play it cool, but in this instance it would probably have helped if I made sure that she didn't leave.
100% certainty when pulling. I did some weak mentioning that I wanted to pull her or what not because I was uncertain about my logistics. Should have either setup the logistics before hand or made a move and taken care of the consequences afterwards. Complete confidence when pulling.
Fuck I love women. Few things beat a good interaction with a hot girl.
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#5
Scale

Scale

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Join Date: 11/26/2007 | Posts: 412

 DAY 5  - SUNDAY

Started off slow. Sunday in Paris felt really quiet, but in a city big as this, something has to be going on somewhere.

Me and my friend went to a place we've enjoyed the last couple of nights. Closed. Took a tip from the cab driver. Ended up at a karaoke bar. I was super unexcited. Sort of wanted to head home. We had a drink and stepped out. Started talking to some random people and joined them on the hunt for a place to go.

Ended up at a weird irish place which was surprisingly full of tourists. Felt myself activate as I entered the place.

Notable sets;
Helene. Tall fucking hot brunette from Canada. Stepped in, felt pretty centered. Started talking a bit. I gave her a hard time over some stuff, she pretended to be offended but seemed to actually really enjoy it. Yes. Love it. Show her a picture from last night's dirty dancing moves. After a while, she disappeared. See her later on with some dude that's parts creepy parts super sexual. She seems sort of into it. She leaves the dude and talks to me for a while. Then she heads out to dance. I go home.

Takeaways;
I am enough. Fucking hot girl wanted my dick. Validated.
Motivation. I was sort of torn between doing my thing and thinking about going home (because I have to get up early for a flight). Maybe something to think about, how to relate in such situations. Probably something like go for 20 minutes hard and then go home.

Notes;
Pretty vanilla evening. A long period of time I was uncertain as to whether I would even open someone. But when the opportunity arose to go somewhere with people, I decided to stick with my previous decision.
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#6
Scale

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Join Date: 11/26/2007 | Posts: 412

 DAY 6 - MONDAY
Missed my flight and got stuck in a shitty small town. No game was done. Tinyest violin on earth is playing.
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#7
Scale

Scale

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Join Date: 11/26/2007 | Posts: 412

 DAY 7 - TUESDAY

Tuesday. Was out for a while with Robert. The city was active but not so much in the bars etc but mostly people in the street going home. Did some warm ups in a bar then spent most time in transported between locations. Think I talked to a handful of people in total. Cool for a quiet Tuesday. Super excited for the rest of this 30DC!

Notable sets;
F. See a girl sitting outside seven eleven. I like her style. No hesitation. Step up and start talking. She's a little hesitant but very receptive. She introduces herself. She's meeting up with a friend and we're going to a specific place. We exchange numbers and leave. Few minutes later we come back and start joking around with her again. As I leave, I check my phone and notice that she's sent me like four text messages, with the last one being "Do you want to come over to my place for some wine?". We text a bit back and forth and she's definitely DTF. I'm a little hesitant. Not sure she was all that and also I have a lot to do tomorrow. Later look her up on Facebook and seems like I dogded a bullet.

Takeaways;
Don't make people feel unspecial. At some point in the interaction she's like "Why did you come up to me?" and I'm like "Well, we have this thing we do..." and then I stop myself. It struck me that she was feeling special because I talked to her and I was about to remove all of that from her. Never make girls feel like they're just one of many. I think optimally you want to make every girl feel special.

K. Stop a random girl walking down on the street. Not sure what I said, just opened and winged it. She's a little nervous, says she feels like she's getting robbed. I tell Robert to leave (to make it less 2-on-1) but it was probably not entirely smooth. Ends up she has a boyfriend. K, THX, BYE.

Takeaways;
JUST OPEN. Don't have to know what you're going to do beforehand. Most of the time, when girls are walking around in their daily lives they're very receptive (even if they won't end up banging you). The risk of rejection is really much less than in the club.
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#8
Scale

Scale

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Join Date: 11/26/2007 | Posts: 412

DAY 8 - WEDNESDAY
Went to F12 with Robert and Per. Great night. I was in a good mood even though I should technically be fucking tired (been up since 0630 in the morning). Practically everything I talked to opened.

Notable sets;

Red head. She was young and pretty tight. Not sure what I opened with. I think I generally was in a teasing mood. We came into a good flirtatous vibe. Probably the first real set. Back and forth. Sexual tension is going. I tell her that something she does is sexy. At some point, she's like "hold my drink", but says it in a poor way. I say no, we get into an argument where she's like "if you don't hold my drink, this conversation is over". I tell her "say please". She fakes being upset and ignores me. I stand there for a few moments, shrug, and wander off. Later during the night I see her several times scoping me out (we had a really good vibe and she dropped it based on nothing).

Takeaways;
Plow. I should just have plowed through her "fake upsettedness". "Are you really going to spoil the beautiful chemistry we had going by being a little brat?". Drama + fun.

M. Really attractive girl. We hit it off in the beginning, but the flame kind of weined after a while. I felt that we went from sexual to friend to friend. I lifted her around and jumped around a bit. Met some of my friends and started talking to them while "ignoring" her. After a while I joined her at the bar while she was getting a drink. I started feeling like I wanted it more than she did, but decided to stay.

Takeaways;
Stay! Good. Only way to build references is to do uncomfortable things.

Stop fucking randomly lifting up girls aggressively. You will hurt your back sooner or later. Ergonomic lifts!

Project leader. While I was standing and talking with some friends, I turn my head and see this hot girl. I'm like "hey", and she's really receptive and says "Heeeey!!". I tell her I'm shocked that she was so happy, and that I'm uncertain as to how I should handle the situation. I turn back to my friend. Later on, I start taking to her again. We get into the bit about us getting married. Talk about what we're doing. I tell her I'm crossing my fingers she's an engineer, because my dreams would come true once I find a hot engineer girl. She tells me she is (turns out she's not - qualifying). We hang out for a while. She introduces me to her friends. We talk a little. I tell them we're gonna get married, and that we're going away on our honey moon right now, upon which I lift her in my arms and tak her away. I try to lead her around the venue, but she resists. We switch numbers.

Takeaways;
Smooth number exchange. When we're about to switch numbers her friends come up. I tell them we were talking about something very personal and that I need to borrow her for a second. Pull her away and exchange numbers. I really liked that, took the pressure of the whole thing.

Takeaways;
Own the frame. Something I've thought about alot lately is owning the frame. I'm not talking about all of the interaction (that might also be beneficial), but rather, I'm talking about how to hook girls consistently. Whatever she tries to set as the frame, oppose it. Don't let her control the frame. This might be done verbally, but it's a few layers deeper than that really. Stuff like throwing in random shit or changing the topic intently or just talking about whatever you want to talk about intently.
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#9
Scale

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Join Date: 11/26/2007 | Posts: 412

 DAY 9 - THURSDAY

Only was out a real quickie. Have a big deadline tomorrow, starting to feel ill and I've built up a big sleep deficit so I kept it short. About one hour out. Only opened two real sets though.

Notable;
Two girls on the street. They were pretty cool. Joked around a bit. I could recognize that the girl I was talking to was attractive logically but she wasn't my type. The thought struck me that I should take her number just because, but I didn't because I didn't find her attractive. Julien s video came to mind.

Takeaways;
Follow the steps in the process, even if you're not attracted. You're collecting reference points!
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#10
Scale

Scale

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Join Date: 11/26/2007 | Posts: 412

 DAY 10 - FRIDAY
Was at the café. It was some sort of model night. Pretty good in terms of quality. Was super tired by a few days of hard hustling and getting a cold.
Stayed out for two hours or so and then went home. But it's cool, it's all downhill from here.

Let the frenzy begin!
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