THE FORUMS

March 26th, 2017
After many lays, I found a girl I can see myself with; complicated situation, need help!
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#11
Hyperion_Dark

Hyperion_Dark

Trusted Member

Join Date: 02/28/2011 | Posts: 1623

 Oneitis.
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#12

ayeayulo

Respected Member

Join Date: 03/27/2013 | Posts: 314

 My advice: stop caring so much about the title of "boyfriend" and enjoy each other's company.

Edit: Julien would say to stop chasing.
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#13

krrakt

Senior Member

Join Date: 02/09/2013 | Posts: 129

Dude,

Stop, Just stop.

You need to take control of the situation. She is calling the shots now and that is no good.

Lay down the rules and never react emotionally to anything she say's or does.

Ignore her for a while, then when you see her be sure to do all the things her boyfriend didn't do for her. She can then decide what she want's and then you will  decide if YOU are still interested! Get it?

DON"T invest ANY MORE into this, SHE is a SLUT!

Best bro,
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#14
Tyler

Tyler

Instructor | Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 8794

Let me give you a little secret nobody wants to hear.

I'm not advocating this, I'm just sharing a SECRET that most people don't want to hear.

CHEAT ON THE GIRL LIKE CRAZY for the first 60 to 90 days of the relationship.

Again I'm not advocating this.  It's simply a secret.  And that the secret is:  the more you like the girl, the more key it is that you do this, because it wil make absolutely sure you are the BUYER and she is the SELLER.  And then only once she's begged at your feet for a relationship, do you stop seeing the other girls behind her back, and let her win.

Not saying to do this, simply sharing a secret of players who are dirt bags.

Tyler
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#15
Kid Kaz

Kid Kaz

Respected Member

Join Date: 04/07/2012 | Posts: 372

Jesus Tyler.

My innocence =  X_x


Yet i get where you're coming from....

What i'd advise is understanding the Buyer/Seller dynamic and honing BEFORE you get into a relationship.
Saves you from causing moral genocide.. lol
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#16
sabster

sabster

Respected Member

Join Date: 11/14/2008 | Posts: 995

Tyler wrote:
Let me give you a little secret nobody wants to hear.

I'm not advocating this, I'm just sharing a SECRET that most people don't want to hear.

CHEAT ON THE GIRL LIKE CRAZY for the first 60 to 90 days of the relationship.

Again I'm not advocating this.  It's simply a secret.  And that the secret is:  the more you like the girl, the more key it is that you do this, because it wil make absolutely sure you are the BUYER and she is the SELLER.  And then only once she's begged at your feet for a relationship, do you stop seeing the other girls behind her back, and let her win.

Not saying to do this, simply sharing a secret of players who are dirt bags.

Tyler
dirt bags.. or maybe completely necessary? this makes a lot of sense. ive been in the game for 5 yrs pretty seriously.. and i got into a relationship a few months ago only to watch my reality completely shatter before my eyes. shit man.. you should keep sharing nuggets like this, more of the "advanced" player shit that you have to deal with after being long term doing this, i was/am completely clueless about relationships at this point.. but would be willing to do what it takes to make it work in the future at some time. 

i read in a thread before from ambiguity, in his post about feeling like he was losing control from doing game too long, but he said.. it's better to be on this side of the fence, then to be the guy who sitting at home, watching TV, wishing and is completely clueless how to get the girl he wants. so it's one of those things.. society makes it come off as wrong.. however, being completely realistic.. it sounds necessary to maintain the relationship. if we're hard wired for a lot of this shit.. as it's completely evident when these bitches eyes roll over and get on their knees when you have that masculine core... u got to follow the hard wiring.. i mean really.. what choice do we have? it would be nice to completely faithful to a girl, but she doesn't respond to it. unless you got some other extreme type shit going on in your life.. i guess that's where your video on the finding your other path to mastery comes into play..

plus.. look at the alternative. if you don't take the necessary steps... unforuntately good chance she will just leave you... 
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Rejection > Regret
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#17
besserwisser

besserwisser

Trusted Member

Join Date: 07/28/2008 | Posts: 3090

Nooooooo cry
Tyler wrote:
Let me give you a little secret nobody wants to hear.


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#18

wholeladoflove

Respected Member

Join Date: 03/18/2013 | Posts: 459

I kinda agree.  As my roommate put it really well: "Make her use her vagina as her last resort."

Tell her she has to cut off all ties with her ex, make a clean break, or you're done.  If she tests this, be seriously willing to walk away and don't call/text until she re-initiates.  If she brings him up in conversation, do one of the many small takeaways I'm sure you already know, and make her work a bit for sex, attention, dates with you, etc.  Basically, you need to take control of the frame as others have said, and get her to invest in you.  Right now she is in control.  She can have her cake (her ex hanging around) and eat it too (fuck someone else while she recovers from the breakup).  No fucking way.

And I totally disagree with what others have said about her not being trustworthy/not being high quality.  Give her great sex and continute being the cool guy that you showed her initially, don't react and fall for her bullshit, and she will have no reason to even look at another man.
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#19

Thatcher

Senior Member

Join Date: 04/08/2013 | Posts: 148

Tyler wrote:
Let me give you a little secret nobody wants to hear.

I'm not advocating this, I'm just sharing a SECRET that most people don't want to hear.

CHEAT ON THE GIRL LIKE CRAZY for the first 60 to 90 days of the relationship.

Again I'm not advocating this.  It's simply a secret.  And that the secret is:  the more you like the girl, the more key it is that you do this, because it wil make absolutely sure you are the BUYER and she is the SELLER.  And then only once she's begged at your feet for a relationship, do you stop seeing the other girls behind her back, and let her win.

Not saying to do this, simply sharing a secret of players who are dirt bags.

Tyler
Tyler you cheeky cunt. <3

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#20

Magicdrumsticks

Junior Member

Join Date: 04/01/2013 | Posts: 18

 
QueensBully: I've been fucking other girls on the side. Some of them are hotter than her and most are not, but that still doesn't help me change the frame. I'm fucking this chick regularly on the side who just wants a casual relationship and it's fun and all, but its not the same. I don't know if actually making sure she knows this would help me; seems like something a low value guy would do and it seems kind of reaction seeking. In this case, I do have to look at my odds being that shes about 6 years older and has an upper management job while I am still in school and don't even have a degree yet teeth

theArcher: First time she's ever cheated bro. In most cases I would call bullshit but I think she's being truthful with me. She doesn't have time to do that shit anyways with her hotshot job taking up so much time. 

sabster: I agree that stopping cold approach kills alpha value but I have kept fucking chicks on the side to make sure my game is solid and im not needy for sex. Infact, I'm pretty much getting laid 3-4 times every week. If I don't pull, I simply call one of the two girls who I have a casual "friends with benefits" relationship with and its on. Maybe in a couple of years it will be exclusive pulling all the time like the Instructors :) Though I feel like she's never had a high value guy like me come into her life before. All the other exes I have asked her about sounded like a bunch of guys with money with nothing going for them, she said she stayed with them for the sake of "comfort" and to have someone who would match her status. Well guess what? I don't make shit, I make minimum wage and don't have a degree yet, so I consider myself a fucking boss in this situation. 

Hyperion_Dark: Not really oneitis bro, I just find her to be the kind of rare woman of high quality that most guys hope to meet during their time in the game. Honestly, she's probably the only one I've met in all my years of gaming that I feel such a strong connection with.

I feel like she deserves a fucking badass like me to come into her life and give her what she needs.


krrakt: I've ignored her on numerous occasions and she always texts me to initiate the conversation. In fact, she's initiating contact most of the time. I usually just say I "was busy" and remain ambigious. When she gets curious, I don't answer her directly most of the time. 

Tyler: I just reviewed Julien's video again before I replied to your comment. 

Even though we aren't "official" I am still technically "cheating" on her with a bunch of girls on the side. However, I'm not sure how this is going to help me get in the buyer dynamic mode. I know that I'm nowhere nearly experienced as you and so if you could maybe tell me some things I could do? I will say that I know much more about her than she knows about me. She tends to tell me how I'm mysterious and don't reveal too much but sometimes she thinks I'm playing games. 

I'ts difficult to be the buyer in this situation, I don't have much to bring to the table because of the huge age, socioeconomic status and financial gap. I have my alpha characteristics like being non-needy, leader, non-reactive and suck her into my world. But other than that, she has a lot more powerful cards to play.






wholeladoflove: She's quite submissive sexually so I'm usually the one who has to give it to her. However, once I start up, she doesn't usually stop and pretty much does whatever the hell I want her to do with the exception of Anal lol

I do takeaways with her sometimes but because she's still kind of emotionally unstable, she tends to take things to heart and so I'm trying to keep it low risk at this point.

I haven't reached anywhere close to mastery in my game but I would consider it extremely solid. Mastery takes 10+ years in my opinion.

The problem here is that I'm not willing to take the extreme high risk-reward ratios that takeaways provide. If this was simply a 9 or even 10 set, I wouldn't mind doing something like a takeaway, but with her, I don't know what to do to flip the frame without being extremely high risk and potentially blowing it out.




ON A SIDE NOTE: I'm starting to set up boundaries with her. Instead of looking like an insecure and saying "don't talk about your ex anymore." I simply talked about other girls that she knows I've dated in the past and as soon as she said "you keep bringing them up" I said "well you keep bringing your ex up, so new rule, I won't talk about them and you don't talk about your ex"

She just had this "you sneaky bastard" smile on her face but agreed to it. 


I can't push her and tell her not to talk to the ex because it's going to be 100% blowout. I don't stand a chance against someone who knows her 3 years in and the fact that they are still on very good terms is just frustrating. She hasn't told him about me yet either because she said it will drive him away as her friend.


Da faq
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