THE FORUMS

July 26th, 2017
RSD Misinterpreted: Part I -- What Tyler means by "Drop the Self-Image Paradigm"
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#11
Pumba

Pumba

Respected Member

Join Date: 05/20/2009 | Posts: 440

 Well, that was a long read :) I've actually had this year mixed nights/feelings where I either felt relaxed and not coming from a place of neediness and did great, felt naturally screening and got dates, and lays. However, after a couple of weeks of not getting 'results' I kinda started wanting the game / 'Alex persona' to work (how shitty is that, you can't just stand there and 'just wanting the girls to come to you cuz you're now enough riiiite?' lol). Well, since I'm at 8 or 9 lays as in... ever, and not having a steady rotation, you can see how this is not 100% congruent to the 'I am enough' mindset. Obviously you could say that, well at 22, that's quite above the male average, you're still a normal guy of the society and whatnot. However, I have this 'idea' in my head I have to divorce of, that most normal guys don't lay 20 girls a year or don't have a rotation of girls. -Cuz there are normal guys who have the life they want in terms of girls, or get laid a lot. It's just not every normal guy.

It might also be that I have higher expectations of myself since 'I'm a PUA guy, where's ma hairum brah?', which is prolly the worst mindset one can have. Well, anyway, I'm quite done speculating left and right. For the next nights I'm doing: 'do a couple of opens in the first hour or two so as not to get in the drink and go home dissapointed game'. Low pressure, everything's ok if I'm approaching, don't sweat it out, you can't usually make a realistically good impression quickly, or not one that translates to sex later. In other words, just go and chat to people. Reapproach later.

Thanks for the well put reply

Also, if anyone's bored and whatnot, this vid shed some good light on motivation and how motivation in simple tasks (as in just do it or you'll get killed) may not always translate to motivation in more complex tasks that involve creativity, which comes from a relaxed / 'not trying to make an impression' mindset. - You can see how this could apply to pickup to some degree


__________________
KJ Trollin'

The 3 commandments of rsdn

Thou shall read The Tolle.
Thou shall eat only Paleo approved food.
Thou shall not jerk off to porn. 


My FR Journal:
http://www.rsdnation.com/node/201240 

'I'm willing to be happy doing anything, even if it sucks, as long as the overall picture is leading me towards an outcome I believe in.
But if it ain't getting me to where I want to go, I'm willing to do ANYTHING to extract myself from that situation.  If I have to bloody myself and risk KILLING myself I'll get out of that damned situation and into one that I like.'
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#12
Zer0.Point

Zer0.Point

Respected Member

Join Date: 02/06/2012 | Posts: 492

 tl;dr

u have ubuntu. hell ya.
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#13
ambiguity

ambiguity

Trusted Member

Join Date: 10/28/2009 | Posts: 5330

U5 mate, while I know you've been around here for sometime, you actually go out, experience many of the programs offered here, and your intention is well, you cannot experience this for those reading.

The difference between knowledge and wisdom is in the life experience. You need to actually experience it. Most want to use the flight simulator but, you don't know shit till you get in a plane and actually take flight.

The same goes for things like unreactive. For a egoic chick, she is reactive, and nonreactivity is only going to come off weak to her. She needs to be called out when crossing the line.

http://www.rsdnation.com/node/163399

Jeffy broke this down for me. It still takes life experience and part of it is in losing the girl.

They lose part of themselves. We all do with time.

Fortunately for us boys, we grow more masculine traits whereas stunners decline, lose their shelf life, begin packing on the weight, and depreciate into a fat with the maturity of a pre teen having never been called out by men in her life.

Her lack of self mastery comes back on her and biters her in the ass. Let it happen. Our job as men is to live, learn, and laugh in no chronilogical order.
__________________
Jlaix: You are rather cheeky I admit but the self amusing authentic avi makes it impossible to hate!
Tyler:This is ultimately one of the keys to the game -- viewing EVERYTHING AS A JOKE. It's ALL funny.
Tim:`How can I make this fun?
brad:This thread got Ambiguity banned, you can thank me later. Zack G: Ambiguity is becoming the Howard Roark of RSD!
Alex: "The famous ambiguity!" + "This is what happens when your naturally attractive; cheekyinnit#! Ambiguity: I don't chase, I replace.


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#14
UtopiaFive

UtopiaFive

Trusted Member

Join Date: 09/16/2008 | Posts: 4960

Right on.  

I realize now everything in life comes down to personal development ideas.  The reason Tyler is going that way is that most in PUA fail due to not doing basic things correctly.  In fact, even me, at a mere 78 lays, I am not at 300-500-1000 if I truly wanted that (I don't think I do), and its not effortless for me to get a girl I'd call a hypothetical 9 once a month, say, and that I'm not happily married with a Dream Girl today (BTW I think the age of 30 is OK for a guy to find a real mate and be married, though its not necessary, and today I do not know for sure if I'll ever get into monogomy or get married, but what i do know is that I do want children one day, but for me, if I marry, it'll be in my 40s...42-45, I'm 29 right now) simply because I have not done basic things well.  

Here are some personal development ideas that come to mind when you describe your "situation".  

1. Anytime we want to gain compliance or influence over other people (e.g. HAVE SEX WITH GIRLS or even improve relationship with your mom or even get people to listen to your wisdom on a place like RSDN), you always have to start with yourself.  So this seems to go AGAINST the RSD philosophy (Tyler says "Go out, and suck, and this motivates you to hit the gym, fix your sense of style, get friends, get a job, etc.") it makes some sense.  In some sense you're practicing the NIM, and what you're seeing in some sense results-wise is FAILURE or at least MEDICORE results.  You're not pleased with the result, is what I'm reading...  And this brings us to topic #2...

(BTW the HOWTO here -- To tell you the truth, even though Alex ain't into this, I am, Tyler is, Brian Johnson at entheos.com, we all are, and it was Brian Johnson who really sold me on regular meditation.  Do it.  I won't rehash Brian's stuff so go to his site, and your life will change.)

2. Mistakes and FAILURE are YOUR FRIEND.  When you make mistakes or fail, you tend to ponder (Tony Robbins), now what you must do is actually create a neuroassociation to become excited about failure.  I wouldn't have "gotten it" if someone told me that before, but what I do now is to see that I do that EXACTLY.  You must meditate to increase your consciousness/awareness first.  But what you then do is you constantly search for mistakes you make in one area of your life, or in your life overall, moment to moment to moment.  When you see them, you literally allow yourself to BECOME EXCITED.  

So you should be EXCITED that you had shit results recently.  The reason is because now, once you can figure out the LESSON, and then TAKE ACTION on it (and see if it works), there's something you can do.  

3. You're allowed to and moan and complain all you want...but only if you've taken action 100% successfully for the past 30 days, and have seen zero evidence that there is any possibility of your results over the next year actually improving.  The main point is you must take right action regardless of the results, and this demonsrates that you are in alignment with Delayed Gratification versus Instant Gratification.  

I'll try to avoid specifics here, think about it yourself, your responding to the same thread twice makes it clear (demonstrates to your own brain, and to me, and you could say "The Universe" if you wanna go woo woo) that you'd actually want to make a real change happen FOR REAL, not like "just GET very good (as opposed to literally unbelievable) results for the next 6 months."  Feel free to throw something out if its not a faggy or whiny response, and I can help a bit further.  
Pumba wrote:
 Well, that was a long read :) I've actually had this year mixed nights/feelings where I either felt relaxed and not coming from a place of neediness and did great, felt naturally screening and got dates, and lays. However, after a couple of weeks of not getting 'results' I kinda started wanting the game / 'Alex persona' to work (how shitty is that, you can't just stand there and 'just wanting the girls to come to you cuz you're now enough riiiite?' lol). Well, since I'm at 8 or 9 lays as in... ever, and not having a steady rotation, you can see how this is not 100% congruent to the 'I am enough' mindset. Obviously you could say that, well at 22, that's quite above the male average, you're still a normal guy of the society and whatnot. However, I have this 'idea' in my head I have to divorce of, that most normal guys don't lay 20 girls a year or don't have a rotation of girls. -Cuz there are normal guys who have the life they want in terms of girls, or get laid a lot. It's just not every normal guy.

It might also be that I have higher expectations of myself since 'I'm a PUA guy, where's ma hairum brah?', which is prolly the worst mindset one can have. Well, anyway, I'm quite done speculating left and right. For the next nights I'm doing: 'do a couple of opens in the first hour or two so as not to get in the drink and go home dissapointed game'. Low pressure, everything's ok if I'm approaching, don't sweat it out, you can't usually make a realistically good impression quickly, or not one that translates to sex later. In other words, just go and chat to people. Reapproach later.

Thanks for the well put reply

Also, if anyone's bored and whatnot, this vid shed some good light on motivation and how motivation in simple tasks (as in just do it or you'll get killed) may not always translate to motivation in more complex tasks that involve creativity, which comes from a relaxed / 'not trying to make an impression' mindset. - You can see how this could apply to pickup to some degree


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#15
UtopiaFive

UtopiaFive

Trusted Member

Join Date: 09/16/2008 | Posts: 4960

Trying to understand what you wrote...always a bit cryptic to me :D
Are you saying and implying "This all makes sense but the people who don't already get it, won't get it until they live it in their own life first, and hence you're not actually helping others by writing this?"
ambiguity wrote:
U5 mate, while I know you've been around here for sometime, you actually go out, experience many of the programs offered here, and your intention is well, you cannot experience this for those reading.

The difference between knowledge and wisdom is in the life experience. You need to actually experience it. Most want to use the flight simulator but, you don't know shit till you get in a plane and actually take flight.

The same goes for things like unreactive. For a egoic chick, she is reactive, and nonreactivity is only going to come off weak to her. She needs to be called out when crossing the line.

http://www.rsdnation.com/node/163399

Jeffy broke this down for me. It still takes life experience and part of it is in losing the girl.

They lose part of themselves. We all do with time.

Fortunately for us boys, we grow more masculine traits whereas stunners decline, lose their shelf life, begin packing on the weight, and depreciate into a fat with the maturity of a pre teen having never been called out by men in her life.

Her lack of self mastery comes back on her and biters her in the ass. Let it happen. Our job as men is to live, learn, and laugh in no chronilogical order.

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#16
UtopiaFive

UtopiaFive

Trusted Member

Join Date: 09/16/2008 | Posts: 4960

Seen the video a long time ago, liked it, would prob be useful to watch it again and see it in a new way -- but the phrase you said there is EXACTLY where you need to be going.  e.g. I was talking to SirKonstantine on the phone the other day about our experiences of exactly what you're talking about.  And yeah, you are 1000% on the right path with that line of thinking.  

The reason to chill out and lay back in NIM is to allow that inner/mental space for your natural creativity, joy, enthusiasm to bubble out, rather than pushing yourself at and over your limit, which will slowly but surely cause you to decrease your game/work/mental capacity if you don't lower your output/pushing-things to the 70-90% level intensity most of the time.  
Pumba wrote:

Also, if anyone's bored and whatnot, this vid shed some good light on motivation and how motivation in simple tasks (as in just do it or you'll get killed) may not always translate to motivation in more complex tasks that involve creativity, which comes from a relaxed / 'not trying to make an impression' mindset. - You can see how this could apply to pickup to some degree

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#17
Phospher

Phospher

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Join Date: 08/04/2012 | Posts: 1279

 GREAT POST, cant wait for the next ones....
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 Vibe can't stop!
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#18
Paris Boum Boum

Paris Boum Boum

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Join Date: 04/02/2009 | Posts: 2996

Great thread.
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#19

Kahlua

Respected Member

Join Date: 05/05/2011 | Posts: 914

 
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#20
Ioan Dura

Ioan Dura

Member

Join Date: 12/06/2011 | Posts: 69

Great Post!!!
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