THE FORUMS

December 6th, 2016
How You Evolve Throughout The Process
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RockNRollPUA

RockNRollPUA

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Join Date: 12/14/2008 | Posts: 1955

When guys first start getting into this, there are many typical mistakes they will all make that come from the fundamental flaw of reaction seeking.  Pretty much every newbie problem stems from seeking reactions one way or another, and the more advanced guys become, the less relevant the outside environment is to them and girls reactions don't mean shit.   They understand that as long as they hold there frame, the girl will eventually fall into it. How does this mental shift happen?

Well for me, these changes happen naturally just from being in the field over a long period of time.  All of the habits autocorrect themselves for the simple reasons that bad habits don't produce results and thus you eventually stop being rewarded for those behaviors, and your brain rewards you for the good behaviors that produce results.  This is fundamentally how guys get good and learn the process by trial an error.  There are a few shortcuts, such as mimicking a guy who is good and learning tricks of the trade, but most of your game has to be corrected by the field through the natural proccess.

Lets assume for the moment, that there was absolutely no information in the world for men on how to pick up girls.  Nobody talks about it, and you are expected to just figure it out on your own.  How would you naturally learn about  cold approach seduction?  Well assuming you could get past approach anxiety and open, which is simple, the first instinct you would have would be to try and please the girl.  You would seek good reactions, try to make her like you, and all of the typical chode stuff.  After a while you would realize that this approach is futile except on fat chicks an unnatractive women, and your brain would stop giving you a reward for the bit of pitty validation you get from hot girls when you supplicate.  As a result, you stop supplicating since there is no longer incentive for you to do so.  You might try being a jerk for a while, and get some results from time to time.  After a while it just becomes another form of reaction seeking, and it stops working.  After a while you stop trying to get positive or negative reactions from girls, because you realize that the girl's responses are not a reliable indicator of wheather or not she is going to fuck you.  You will have references of when the girl was being a and fucked you, and references of when she liked you off the bat and fucked you, and come to the conclusion that the surface level of women's responses are arbitrary.  Once you understand this on a subconscious level, you won't seek reactions because you litterally won't care about getting them.

After you are free from the dreaded reaction seeking void, your own fun becomes more important than fitting in and getting approval from others.  At this point you can really start fucking around with the social matrix and having a blast.  You can pretty much get away with anything, and since girls see that you aren't trying to get anything from them, they become curious and interested.  You try to kiss girls within the first few minutes, just because you want to kiss her, you pick girls up and spin them around because it's rediculouse and fun, you tool people because it's hilarious,  and you party with people because you enjoy hanging with them.  In essense you become a natural because everything IS natural.  You are no longer forcing things, because you are doing things that are enjoyable in and of itself.  You are not trying to have fun or seem cool to achieve XYZ result.  You are simply having a fucking blast just like Distant Light would say.  You can't really short cut yourself to this headspace easily, you pretty much have to bash your head against the wall in the field until your brain learns the lesson.

A major thing that will help you achieve this, is by not fucking with your brain's natural reward system.  If your brain isn't functioning properly, it can't adapt properly.  Things like shitty food, drugs, video games, hookers, and porn are all bad for you simply for the reason that they reward your brain without actually gaining anything or doing something cool to earn the reward.  All of these things can be used very sparingly from time to time with no bad long term effects, but as soon as you have an addicting habit that you do regularly, you are pretty much fucked.  Do you know many people who are successfull that got successfull after becoming a hardcore drug addict, huge pothead, scarfing cheese bugers and getting fat, play video games all day, get drunk every day, jerking off to porn 6 times a day, or calling up escorts on the regular?  Sure there are plenty of people that already have success that have these problems, but the vast majority didn't have these problems before they made it big, only after they became spoiled and had enough money or fame to deal with the negative consequences.  I bet everyone knows A SHIT LOAD of people that do these things, who are total pathetic loosers, and maybe can think of the odd exception here and there.

So quit your bitching about different things you aren't getting right.  You will figure out the answer with enough real experience with or without help.  You will get sick with the "nice to meet you" girls, and getting blown out for half stepping and YOU WILL STOP DOING IT.  Some guys just quit after they don't get what they want right away, the Winners learn that if something isn't working, you try something else until the peices all fit together.  Thats how all of this shit was started, and not too much has changed since then.  Its just a bunch of dudes, throwing shit at the wall and seeing what sticks, finding patterns, and forming theories.  Its not an exact science, but it's good enough to bang some pretty hot chicks and make bitches fall in love with you, so it ain't that bad either.
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My Field Reports:
http://www.rsdnation.com/node/208534/forum

If you are a Newb READ THIS FIRST, THEN GO OUT:
http://www.rsdnation.com/node/170650

Whatever I thought might hold me back, I avoided. I crossed girls off my list, except as tools for my sexual needs." - From the 1977 autobiography "Arnold: The Education of a Bodybuilder" by Arnold Schwarzenegger
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#1
LeftHand

LeftHand

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Join Date: 11/12/2007 | Posts: 1104

Great post, thanks.
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FR's detailing my progression
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#2

joe91

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Join Date: 04/06/2012 | Posts: 973

 mark 
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#3
lotus34

lotus34

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Join Date: 04/19/2009 | Posts: 21

 great bro
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#4

faust100

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Join Date: 03/02/2013 | Posts: 11

 A good post to keep in mind while getting started.  I'll still probably have to go through the phases you outlined, if only just to internalize and learn from them.
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#5
RearWindow

RearWindow

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Join Date: 02/02/2009 | Posts: 421

RockNRollPUA wrote:
Things like shitty food, drugs, video games, hookers, and porn are all bad for you simply for the reason that they reward your brain without actually gaining anything or doing something cool to earn the reward.
Damn dude that hit home!

The number 1 thing that hit home for not eating crap food was super size me, it disgusted me with fast food,
[I never do it now, I even take girl to Mcdonalds after nightclub and don't order, i just let them order and say actually im not hungry.]

The number 1 thing that got me off video games is my friends brother who is an epic introvert he would just go to work and play world of war craft that was his whole life and soon enough he attempted to commit suicide after he got rejected by a girl a work.
[I actually watched full on 3hour clips of people playing Sim City 5 on youtube but refused to buy it and play it myself, I just got the need to buy the game out of me by watching other people play and unlock all the buildings so that I don't need to do it myself ect.]

Weed just reminds me of my gay chode university lifestyle which i am slighty ashamed of now looking back at how much iv grown since then.

And You have just did the same with porn right here, thanks mate!
Also great article that exactly how it works, with me watching Alex hotseat was a breakthrough and helped me get away from the reaction seeking mindset.
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#6

Nassim

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Join Date: 05/05/2011 | Posts: 79

RockNRollPUA wrote:
 Some guys just quit after they don't get what they want right away, the Winners learn that if something isn't working, you try something else until the peices all fit together.  Thats how all of this shit was started, and not too much has changed since then.  Its just a bunch of dudes, throwing shit at the wall and seeing what sticks, finding patterns, and forming theories.  Its not an exact science, but it's good enough to bang some pretty hot chicks and make bitches fall in love with you, so it ain't that bad either.
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#7
bigjew629

bigjew629

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Join Date: 04/08/2012 | Posts: 1582

Finally, a GOOD thread. Not one mention of the usual nonsense we usually see. Do want to bring up a few things however.

Things like shitty food, drugs, video games, hookers, and porn are all bad for you simply for the reason that they reward your brain without actually gaining anything or doing something cool to earn the reward. All of these things can be used very sparingly from time to time with no bad long term effects, but as soon as you have an addicting habit that you do regularly, you are pretty much fucked. Do you know many people who are successfull that got successfull after becoming a hardcore drug addict, huge pothead, scarfing cheese bugers and getting fat, play video games all day, get drunk every day, jerking off to porn 6 times a day, or calling up escorts on the regular?

This needs to be mentioned anywhere and everywhere on RSDN. This part is SO important, but I think the bigger picture here is staying productive and not staying in the house all day. I say if you spend any more than 12 hours inside the house, you are doing it wrong. Between work, bowling, and gym I spend an average of 12 hours outside the house a day. And when I start school back up, that will probably be upped to 16, possibly 20 if I want to do all my studying/schoolwork outside the house. Throw in going out (which at the moment I can't do as I work graveyard shift) and there are easily FULL DAYS where I do not see the interior of my place. The house is used for only three things: Cooking, relaxing/sleeping, sex/whacking off. Hobbies need to be done outside the house. Work needs to be done outside the house. Are there days where I feel like I need to recharge the batteries and stay in all day? Sure. But it isn't EVERY DAY. Now if two days or so go by and I haven't spent ample time outside the house I get depressed. I feel like I have betrayed myself and it feels AWFUL. I honestly believe that the US in general can get less fat, angry and depressed if they as a whole spent ONE MORE HOUR on average outside of the house.

You would seek good reactions, try to make her like you, and all of the typical chode stuff. After a while you would realize that this approach is futile except on fat chicks an unnatractive women
Got a news flash: The chode stuff works EVEN LESS on unnattractive women and fatties, cuz they get it even MORE. One of my GFs is a fattie and she bitches to me all the time about chodes trying to impress her. On a date with one of them, he literally said to her "have I impressed you enough yet? I want to know how much more money I need to spend." She SLAPPED him, told him to never call/text her again or else she will call the police. Then she called me in tears saying how she felt objectified and how she wishes there were more men like me who just know how to make women happy without trying to impress them. Bottom line: Approval Seeking/trying to impress ppl with an ulterior motive works on NO CHICK nowadays. Even the big or unnattractive chicks despise it.

One thing I think also needs to be addressed is real self accountability. This is the ability to realize that with chicks, sports, school, or anything where the result is DIRECTLY determined by YOU, The only one responsible for anything is YOU. Not getting the dates/day 2s with the chicks you want? Your fault. Getting bad grades? Your fault. Its not porn's fault, its not the fault of video games, its not RSD's fault for not releasing enough videos, its not the professor's fault. It FALLS ON YOU no matter what. You are ALWAYS in control or at least should be.

Now here's the big thing: If you indulge in self accountability too much and think that EVERYTHING is your fault, you will begin to bury yourself. There is old saying: "You need to be your own worst critic." This means you can't let yourself get away with anything. But what happens if you really put an honest effort into getting a chick or good grades and it STILL wasn't good enough? That's where you need to be realistic and be your own biggest fanboy. If you wind up with 80s in all your classes all of your classes had term papers due on the same day, what else could you have done but your very best? Its just like trying to manage a ton of logistics when pulling a chick.
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I got mad knowledge of self. -Us3
Even though they all say that they're real I know that most aren't. -Eminem
Lament not your vanquished fantasy; its only destiny. -Bad Religion 
Stop trying to impress chicks. Stop trying to impress guys. Impress yourself for a change.
Be Greedy, not Needy.
There is no place for victims in this world.
If you don't like the idea of the deck being stacked against you, then grab your crotch and see if your balls are still there.
I don't usually pray, but when I do...it's for the extermination of Radical Feminists, MGTOW/MRAs/"Red Pill" people, and their blind followers.
I, Hardcase: Advice and analysis for anyone who considers themself a Hardcase Newbie:
Part 1 = http://www.rsdnation.com/node/291325/forum
Part 2 = http://www.rsdnation.com/node/292242/forum
Part 3 = http://www.rsdnation.com/node/293113/forum  
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#8
RockNRollPUA

RockNRollPUA

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Join Date: 12/14/2008 | Posts: 1955

bigjew629 wrote:


You would seek good reactions, try to make her like you, and all of the typical chode stuff. After a while you would realize that this approach is futile except on fat chicks an unnatractive women
Got a news flash: The chode stuff works EVEN LESS on unnattractive women and fatties, cuz they get it even MORE. One of my GFs is a fattie and she bitches to me all the time about chodes trying to impress her. On a date with one of them, he literally said to her "have I impressed you enough yet? I want to know how much more money I need to spend." She SLAPPED him, told him to never call/text her again or else she will call the police. Then she called me in tears saying how she felt objectified and how she wishes there were more men like me who just know how to make women happy without trying to impress them. Bottom line: Approval Seeking/trying to impress ppl with an ulterior motive works on NO CHICK nowadays. Even the big or unnattractive chicks despise it.

Good point, I honestly don't even talk to uglies or fat chicks, so you are probably right hahaha.  Obviously ultra chode stuff is never good, the only way supplicating would really work is if you are obvioulsly above the girls league in the first place or she had low self esteem and you were doing it deliberatelly to tone it down a bit.  Then again, why would anybody be trying to go after chicks below their level in the first place.  Good insight.
__________________
Sluts, Beer, and Metal!



My Field Reports:
http://www.rsdnation.com/node/208534/forum

If you are a Newb READ THIS FIRST, THEN GO OUT:
http://www.rsdnation.com/node/170650

Whatever I thought might hold me back, I avoided. I crossed girls off my list, except as tools for my sexual needs." - From the 1977 autobiography "Arnold: The Education of a Bodybuilder" by Arnold Schwarzenegger
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#9
bigjew629

bigjew629

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Join Date: 04/08/2012 | Posts: 1582


Good point, I honestly don't even talk to uglies or fat chicks, so you are probably right hahaha.  Obviously ultra chode stuff is never good, the only way supplicating would really work is if you are obvioulsly above the girls league in the first place or she had low self esteem and you were doing it deliberatelly to tone it down a bit.  Then again, why would anybody be trying to go after chicks below their level in the first place.  Good insight.


Supplicating isn't that bad if the one doing it is being legit and genuine about it and there is no big ulterior motive about it. There is a big difference between being a gentleman and a creep, but the line that crosses it is very thin. There is no chance in hell I will ever buy stuff for a chick or do other supplicating things, unless I feel like I owe her for something. For example I recently took a chick to go bowling with me and my buddies and promised her she would get to bowl but my buddies wouldn't let her. So I felt bad so now I feel like I owe her. So there is a difference and that difference is good ol' congruence.

As far as going after chicks that are below my level, I very rarely take looks into consideration when it comes to my selection. The GF I was talking about may be a fattie but she knows how to take care of herself, she appreciates my hobbies, is a good lover, can carry a conversation, and is generally a good person to be around. I mean I told her she was carrying around extra unnecessary weight and she agreed and is willing to exercise and have a better diet. A lot of fatties like to deny that they are heavy but not the chick I'm with. So I would say that she is at my level. Conversely, there is another chick who is really pretty but she is pushing 30 and mommy and daddy still support her. I can't take her seriously cuz of that.
__________________
I got mad knowledge of self. -Us3
Even though they all say that they're real I know that most aren't. -Eminem
Lament not your vanquished fantasy; its only destiny. -Bad Religion 
Stop trying to impress chicks. Stop trying to impress guys. Impress yourself for a change.
Be Greedy, not Needy.
There is no place for victims in this world.
If you don't like the idea of the deck being stacked against you, then grab your crotch and see if your balls are still there.
I don't usually pray, but when I do...it's for the extermination of Radical Feminists, MGTOW/MRAs/"Red Pill" people, and their blind followers.
I, Hardcase: Advice and analysis for anyone who considers themself a Hardcase Newbie:
Part 1 = http://www.rsdnation.com/node/291325/forum
Part 2 = http://www.rsdnation.com/node/292242/forum
Part 3 = http://www.rsdnation.com/node/293113/forum  
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#10

dergon swinshop

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Join Date: 05/03/2013 | Posts: 35

cool stuff
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