THE FORUMS

September 17th, 2014
Make her Chase You
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#51
0bbi

0bbi

Trusted Member

Join Date: 11/29/2012 | Posts: 1355

 
Nassim wrote:
Curious what are your criteria/standards for a girl you like, dude?
Gravity wrote:
That type of mindset comes from scarcity... THERE ARE A LOT OF COOL HOT GIRLS OUT THERE. The "extraordinary" girl you're meeting is simply the one that had the patience not to blow you off, so when you engage into conversation with her she seems cool because she isn't one of the girls that BLEW YOU OFF. This biases your view of what a cool woman is because she reacts to you from a "game" perspective. Through this I have learned that a lot of girls have a lot of cool things going on because they're ALL OVER ME TRYING TO IMPRESS ME... 
Basically a fun-loving really intelligent girl that I can have a great time with who is really sexual. LOVE latinas & brown girls. I dont have a lot of explicit expectations as i still explore a lot of girls personalities so i just see what i like and keep it going
this explains why you think that so many girls are so cool. there are tons of fun loving and sexual girls. nothing special. let's move along..


Gravity wrote:
describe exactly what you do, I'm curious as to the method you are implementing.
in general i resonate with alex stuff the most. i find it the most universal and effective.

in venues..
i follow alex/julien timeframes. but not so tightly. just as a signpost. first part of the night it's "me" time. then i choose a girl to end up with. second part it's "us" time. and "us" time means my interaction with the girl is purely one on one thing. i cut the fun and i tone it down to build sexual tension which heats her up inside but doesn't satisfy her enough (like over escalation does). i don't feel like i'm missing something by not talking to others cause the girl is beautiful and cool she gives me boner and she's just great company. then we go to afterparty with couple of people (who also are pairbonded) or we go alone to her place or we just leave the venue and seek adventures in the city. when we can't get intimate in some normal place (i have no intentions to fuck in a nasty ass bathrooms) it's still quite solid thing to continue day(s) after cause in public i don't physically escalate too much. that's standard night out.

so in the context of the thread i was just confused about the pulling part. cause like i mentioned when i go out i see that at first people mingle and drink. then they start having some fun. then the engage in one on one interactions. then they go chill on sofas in the corners. then they leave together. that's how it goes down everynight. so i was wondering.. 
- how can i pull just by hoppning around spreading the fun if some guy just steps up to the girl i want and isolates her so she's lost?
- how can i make girls chase me by my "fun" if eventually they get engaged in one on one interaction with a protective guy and make him part of the group where they chill together and get super comfortable with each other? when i try to have fun with that they're not down they're cool with their own little party.
- how can i draw girls attention with my short 2 minute flirt if the girl gets distracted by her friends and people and eventually some guy who steals her?

thing is, in the first part of the night i do all those things, i draw attetion to me with my fun (example: my dancefloor recipe) i create a frenzy and screen and stuff. cool. but then after a while those available girls get tired of waiting to be picked up. that's the last moment i can step up and take her. or else she gets distracted and finds some other dick and no amount of fun will sway her in my direction then.


Guys, that's how you debate on the forum

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#52
Gravity

Gravity

Trusted Member

Join Date: 07/06/2011 | Posts: 1681

1. All that happens under the assumption that a) she doesn't blow you out, b) you have no real competition, and c) you pass the shit tests. Most puas do not execute like this so there isn't really a choice on your part. Also part of the argument implies that you choose before you go in, which is completely conflicting with what you're saying because apparently you have some type of standards? Curious how you could tell before approaching?

to address your questions:
That's assuming that a guy whose isolated has "won". Most of the time this is not true as the isolation is temporary. I've legit pulled girls while they were alone with guys just by walking up and saying "5 minutes we bounce". I'm sure DL has done things similar to what I just described.  The problem is that if a guy is interesting and THE WHOLE VENUE has their eyes on him, he's gonna attract a lot of attention, so no matter what the girl will know of your existance and will be interested in knowing who you are. You are assuming the other guy is superior because he is chasing so from a "game" perspective it looks like he's doing well. But in reality he is just a play thing most of the time, and if she sees the oppurtunity to get better dick (aka the interesting guy who is having fun) then she's gonna ditch the guy. Simple as that.

Most times it DOES NOT HAPPEN. However if you are doing nothing but bringing the party to a group of people they'll always accept you into their group. What is the "protective" guy gonna do? Say gtfo because your having fun? lol. He's more likely to get himself blown out by the other people than by getting you away (I know from personal experiece by going to venues that these jealous types frequent). Since I already see the objection coming up let's use the example when the guy arrives to the club with his girl and a group of friends. So how does one steal the girl? Simple have a blast, make friends with every group member (mr protective included) and do not under any circumstance attempt to actually TRY to steal her. SImply have fun and let the guy into the fun to. Your frame is the ultimate dominator, so even if it doesn't happen right away you can be sure the attraction is there. Now you can do whatever, find the excuse to pull her away and fuck her wherever, or give your # and have her text you. Either way it don't matter, you can always find a new cool/fun girl.

You are the center of attention, YOU ARE THE DISTRACTION. No other guy can steal from you when YOU are the one the entire venue is watching. These questions would not need explaining if you actually went out and tried this. Girl's friends will isolate the girl for you so that THEY can hookup with you later, people invite you to chat with them, people will buy you drinks and have a blast with you. 

If you just go out and have fun, simple shit is simple. You just tell her that you may be interested in letting her kidnap you. They are not waiting for you to "pick them up" they are trying to pick you up. We seem to be focused on two different things. My emphasis is to just have fun and let shit come as it may. Yours is use fun to get the results. If you're doing it like that then it isn't a wonder why you are experiencing typical pua problems whereas me and others are not. Last night for example, the only problem I had was that I didn't give ANY girls the oppurtunity to chase me. I just kinda chilled and let the fun take over. Does that mean i spent the night not socializing? Or that any girl at any time got stolen from me? Nope. I just focused on having fun and letting others in the venue have fun too. 

This is a value giving experience, you give others the release from their pathetic lives. You become cocaine.
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#53
Gravity

Gravity

Trusted Member

Join Date: 07/06/2011 | Posts: 1681

Trent3Reznor wrote:
Self generate your own fun, and share that with the girl.

Impose your boundaries, and SHE WILL CHASE YOU.





basically this
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#54

thatguy7

Member

Join Date: 07/30/2012 | Posts: 56

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=39PuFOTjtk8

Invitation.

At :32 seconds. Lol. swag.
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#55

keyoh

Member

Join Date: 08/14/2012 | Posts: 47

Maybe you address this in one of your replies, but the advice to have a lot of fun up in the club isn't very valuable unless you explain how to have a lot of fun up in the club. You just say to make it your mission.
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#56
Distant Light

Distant Light

Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/22/2006 | Posts: 2390

Damn how'd I forget about this thread, it turned into a great discussion...

Dcampo3
Awesome!!! Your issues stems from being used to chasing, overtime these things handle itself as you develop more. For instance, your right it won't even matter and you will notice you have total control of the interaction and could makeout whenever you choose.

0bbi
Lots of assumptions...

Me approaching isn't chasing because my intention isn't to hit on her or TRY to get her. I'm more like a model scout, it's her opportunity to meet me. A model isn't gonna ignore or blowout a model scout because she wants to that opportunity.

Your under the assumption that women won't approach, ask for your #, text you, handle logistics and overall try to make it work between you two. I PERSONALLY had a girl fight my guy friend because he was preventing her from getting laid aka "getting fucked by me".

The whole short interaction isn't limited to just nightclubs, I've done it elsewhere, its just personally I wouldn't waste my time during the day running around for chicks. (No point, waste of time) Daytime, I interact 1-2mins and just give my #...
- I've madeout with many girls in non-club environments
- House parties and dinners I almost always get #closed
- A handful of times I could've just pulled BUT I'd never miss a night partying for the sake of hooking up. NOT HAPPENING!!

You have to realize girls in nightclubs also go out in the daytime and MOST aren't even actual club chicks. IRONICALLY, I have not banged a club chick this whole year. Now chicks who don't frequent clubs at all ARE 1000% more willing to jump at an opportunity because they tend to have a more tame/boring social/sex life.

Last month, pulled a girl who went to a club FOR THE FIRST TIME IN HER LIFE. She was actually told by her two friends "not to fuck it up". This chick was mouth raping me and while I didn't wanna exchange #s she goes "If you wanna see me again here is my #"

Your thinking too much in traditional community viewpoint. Its impossible to comprehend from that viewpoint, its how I fucked up many times as I was exploring all this...
- Buyers Remorse is non-existent and LMR is like unicorns
- Guys who chase her are irrelevant, chasers are like the bottom feeders of her pool, she's always waiting for that fascinating guy. (2 months ago I opt to take a girl home, she was on phone with a guy and instantly says "You know what forget it!!! Don't come pick me up dont, bye, bye")

Your idea of attraction is off IMO, YOU ARE ATTRACTION, you don't fluctuate like a schizo. Your connection is built on FUN its what everyone wants and aspires to have. When you show up for that 5mins to her its like...

"OMG, I want that in my life, that was awesome, damn...where'd he go??? I have to have some of it!!!"

Gravity makes a good point about "lots of cool/hot girls" because when I think about it right now its so true. EVERY WEEK I end up meeting a new cool girl. If you notice in videos I say "I love you" alot because there was a point where I kept meeting so many awesome women and it became something I say to everyone who is remotely cool.

And on the Monogamy aspect which is SPOT ON. I too almost ended up in monogamy with an amazing woman (Barely clubs, instead volunteers and goes to charity events) who I genuinely liked. 1.5 weeks in her best friend sorta pulled me, I wanted to tell my girl BUT her BFF stated its best if we don't because she needs me in her life. I tried acting like I was in a monogamous relationship without telling her and day1 dinner a chick starts kissing me. Later in the night I'm about to leave with a girl.

Gravity
WTF!?!? I cold approach more than most community dudes do??? I can only imagine how crazy things would be if I was an approach machine...Might play with that when I can go back out consistently...

Nassim
EXACTLY!! I had to drop all beliefs and assumptions...

For me it was worst because I got real good at chasing. When my friend cameback from a tyler bootcamp he stated that me n him were similar in terms of intensity and how we step up to women. Its when I started hitting high end venues that I started seeing new possibilities because I was expending tons of time, energy and effort FOR ONE LAY...

AND, I had no lifestyle whatsoever so if I stayed in for a week or two I'd have little to no girls and basically there was no phyiscal difference if I looked back a year. Meanwhile dudes were in the top venues with 10 girls who were hotter than majority of the girls I was approach. My first experience was my friend bringing me to a new venue, 3 other guys and 40-50 girls. It was so insane I blurted out in awe "wtf!!!!" It made me wonder what was I doing all this time.

0bbi
What do you consider connection & chemistry??

For me its the level of FUN which is vague but more specific...
- Being on the "same frequency" verbally where there is an amazing rhythm going on whether it be a very witty interaction or more curious/screening interaction
- Enjoyment factor based on the amount and frequency of GENUINE laughter
- Level of sexual tension and physicality
- How open/comfortable you guys are

Its abit messed up to call them "whores" because you have to understand MOST RELATIONSHIPS are for the wrong reasons such as "thats the only guys at the time that chased her". (It gets deeper but the gist) I remember a chick who NEVER CHEATED in her 7 years and here I am fingering her outside while her friend sits next to us chatting some guy. She cried later on when I realized all this and grabbed after me to not leave. It was obvious it wasn't her "ideal" situation 7 years ago and her meeting me solidified it.

#1 - Would you say you came off as attractive to women in general?? Other guys wont be able to steal anything because women will like you regardless if your into them or not.

#2 - Hard to explain but overtime as you gain depth internally your presence/vibe fuels some potent interactions. Nowadays, I can't go anywhere with a girl stating they know me or seen me. (This also gives them an excuse to approach me) For instance, in video, girl I did a shot with she told me she wanted to go out everyday with me when I start my 100 day challenge. I reconfirmed 5x if she was sure, she was.

#3 - Thats them trying to push you back into the frame of chasing which makes me believe when trying this style you never interacted with playing with the fact that you know she wants your body/soul. Like you stated "chasing expected", hows that working out for the general population?? Just look at this forum, were all supposed to be better than chodes, right? This is what confused me about my "inconsistent consistency"

The only reason a handful of community dudes see consistency is due to the high volume of chasing.

My Criteria
Was interesting to ask gravity and I wanted to give a contrast of how indepth I've got due to experience with being around tons of women with different personalities and quality of being...

- FUN FUN FUN, I should highly enjoy having them around me because they like having tons of fun and she has to be able to handle me.
- POSITIVITY, no negative or logical BS allowed
- AFFECTIONATE, I like very feminine women and love when they are just randomly touching/kissing you while your focused on other shit. (Ex. Chatting you boy about football while she's kissing on your neck)
- OUTGOING, she has to be highly social meaning I can leave her alone and she can meet new people on her own. If I introduce her its not just simply "hi".
- LIFESTYLE, she must have her own interesting stuff, I'm not a fan of the chicks who go home dildoing themselves to sleep after a day at work. BORING
- PHYSICALLY ATTRACTIVE, like em 5'10+, modelish body and a pretty face. (preferably eastern euros) I'm open to hipsters style wise and/or tattoos (love that short hair hipster look) and chicks with huge fake tits.
- SHE CHASES ME, this is very important so we don't end up in a "dating frame" which then makes things formal, with expectations and assumptions of "where is this going". Dating frame is what has caused ALL OF MY RELATIONSHIPS to end.

Serpicoo
Haahahahha if I ever made a routine manual it would be the most random BS...
- Are you ready??
- I hope your ready??
- Its about to go down!!!!
- awwwww yea!!!
- Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
- Long hair don't care
- Lets take it to the next level
- Boooooooom

Tyler
Interesting video, jeffy's "lucid dream" analogy was a good description of what I call "gray area"...

Some points you made, makes sense BUT 99% of the rsd viewers aren't willing to explore nor make that jump because its too different from the normal concepts that many already misinterpret...

Richie Rich
Hahahaha, "nursing a vodka tonic"...

If a fascinating man was doing that consistently that's being SELFISH. Its ok to be low-key AND still open to chatting BUT its always better to give people a chance to meet you.

Its hard to explain in words but when I walk in venues I truly feel like a supermodel who walks through "knowing they all want me" so I have this big ass smirk looking at people as I walk through. I've had many women approach me stating I rolled into the club with this amazing presence. Ironically, I used to joke with my non-community friend that it always feels like I'm a wrestler entering the ring its like a big spectacle hahaha.
0bbi

As far as your "alex process" goes, fair enough...

For me, my style is more "time management" so you can focus more on living and inspiring others to live life. At the sametime, it helps me grow internally as I interact with a wide range of men and women, learning new possible expressions and ways of being. For instance, a chick I mess with brought out a guy friend who I found out was from berlin MY DREAM CITY TO EXPLORE. I told him how bad I wanted to go and then he showed me a dance they do in germany that was so hilarious that I kept doing it all night, we did it together and essentially BONDED. Take him to the next venue (which I generally cant get guys in BUT got 2 in) with girls we met, introduced him to new girls and left. Told my close guy friends about the dance and now we use a variation that my friend did jokingly. 1 week later, were in a bar and we had it set the next girl to walk through our circle will start doing the dance.

For me, I genuinely like partying so I want to see the WHOLE ROOM getting wild, I want to see everyone getting very sexual and I want everyone to atleast get a feel of what I feel 24/7. I've been approached on the subway TONS OF TIMES where people are curious as to what I'm listening too because I'm enjoying myself highly. (One chick actually left the guy who was pulling her, to meet me, hear what I was listening too, and wanted my #)

As for pulling...

- A chick isn't gonna let herself get lost and if she does well THAT IS HER ISSUE she just fucked up HER OPPORTUNITY. We as men keep acting under the assumption that we NEED something from women.

- FUN is more of a way of being AND you wouldn't be "trying" anything. Who says you cant just go sit down with them and chat? Your just socializing. Regardless chicks aren't retarded if they know its a guy they need to chase they're going too. It reminds me of the non-community friend I mentioned, one time we were at a daytime party and some guy was TRYING HARD aka "his level of want was so high" basically sitting at table deep in convo. My boy just threw this girl a comment, she must've reopened him about 4-5 times. My boy wasn't even aware of the dynamics until I told him.

- Remember YOU ARE THE ATTRACTION its not about stuff you do its who you are.

The women want you, they want you to bang them, they will handle all logistical things in order to get that fascinating guy. I can say knowingly 100%, haven't been cockblocked or some guy distracting a girl. My boy once tried taking a girl, he moved her to another part of the venue an all BUT I just wanted to dance anyway and I told her we'd smoke cigarettes later in the night. Lights come on, I walk to her, "lets smoke" turns out she's with 2 guys, guy is PISSED that I'm around and that she's not gonna fuck him. I even told her to go with her boy because he was leaving and I had got the cig from her. SHE said "Doesn't matter, btw take my e-mail and send me your # because my phone is dead". This girl has gone out with me twice AND 2 times which I disappeared for whatever reason. (2 other times i flaked) I kissed her on day1, I know she likes me BUT its just not the right time and circumstances for me to even throw out the opportunity yet.

Gravity

FAWK!!! I actually had video of this (probably deleted it aleady) whole "taking girl from guy who's in isolation"...

Gist is, some guy was isolated with some random on the dancefloor, I WAS APPROACHING NO ONE just on the sofa buggin the fuck out with my mixed group of friends. (3 guys 5 girls) Lights come on, were all still having a blast, I had looked at the girl smirking earlier. I walk over saying "Yo!! After party, lets do this!!!"

Chick leaves the guy, goes to her roommate to get the keys, comes with us to my friend's model apartment, they leave me in living room as we fool around. I was making out and fingering her in taxi right next to my friend. I remember this vividly because I only did it to see if it could be done because I kinda knew at this point that it was a high probability.

SPOT ON, about the whole theory behind protective guy not even able to get mad. Like are you really going to fuckup the FUN. It's why we all came out right!?!?!
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#57
Gravity

Gravity

Trusted Member

Join Date: 07/06/2011 | Posts: 1681

@keyoh: I can't really explain to you how to have fun. I dance by myself and literally bring the energy alive in the venue. I scream and shout and mess up people's hair. Apparently I knock girls drinks out of their hands, have them buy another one and they love me for it after....... lololololol. Go and experiment, see what you like and what makes you giggle. 

@DL: Most puas aren't approach machines so it doesn't particularly set the bar high, I would be curious to see if you went somewhere solo in another city where you knew no one to see if you experience shit similar to myself. Oddly enough people are starting to recognize me as "that crazy guy" hahaha, so my stuff isn't even fully cold approach anymore </3
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#58

Hotslut85

Member

Join Date: 04/21/2013 | Posts: 55

 Haha, anyone but me can tell where this is going? ;)
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#59
0bbi

0bbi

Trusted Member

Join Date: 11/29/2012 | Posts: 1355

Gravity wrote:
. I've legit pulled girls while they were alone with guys just by walking up and saying "5 minutes we bounce". I'm sure DL has done things similar to what I just described.  
that's something new. i've never been able to pull off something like that 


Distant Light wrote:
Lots of assumptions...
i have z e r o assumptions. if you had read closely what i wrote you would have known i describe what i've seen and what i've done. when i wrote that xyz and it sux then it means i've done it and it failed. i try to stay away from meaningless discussions about mindsets etc as much as i can cause it's useless to talk about subjective perceptions (like a "i'm a model scout" thing.. it's valid only if both parts see it that way. i can think that i have 10inch dick, it doesn't mean it's true) 


Distant Light wrote:
Your thinking too much in traditional community viewpoint
i'm just in hardcore go-getter mode which is why the most natural thing for me is to going (out) and getting (ass). instead of giving out my number, hinting where i'll be next, not caring who will come, taking what's available etc which i view as passive. but again, it's a mindset thing so i don't want to talk about at all.


Distant Light wrote:
What do you consider connection & chemistry??
chemistry is something i feel towards a girl who i want to spend time with rather than hanging out with other girls. fun is small part of it. it's more like when i feel like i've known the girl since forever cause we just click so well and get each other automatically on many levels, from world perspective to sex. i can have fun with anyone. it's not a factor.


i think we can agree do disagree ; ]


PS. today i found perfect quote that illustrates our different experiences. it's from an american pua guy who travels through EE and knows both worlds very vell. it goes a little something like this...
Quote:
American girls put in the most amount of work for a guy they like, to the point of desperation. They will send repeated texts or just ask the guy on a date outright. You can be extremely aloof—even disrespectful and insulting—and the girl will still come into you. In Eastern Europe, this is not the case. The aloof line of demarcation is closer to Argentina than America. Not responding to one of their texts can be a grievous error that you may not be able to recover from. Even though her attraction for you is high, and she has no other cock in her lineup, she will be much more reluctant to chase you if she feels you are withdrawing from her.
as i expected it's just cultural thing. no wonder i couldn't grasp what you guys were talking about. 
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#60
QUANT

QUANT

Member

Join Date: 04/11/2013 | Posts: 30

great post , i like the idea of being straightforward leading and not escalating nor giving ratinoalisations... is really powerful

lately i'm trying the lead-straighforward/assertive-compliments...  when you're really not afraid of her saying no/reject you, IS GOLD

i only don't like the title of the post because it sounds like a "method" and a lot of people interpreted the post as "avoid-rejections-having-fun-method"
Gravity wrote:

Oddly enough people are starting to recognize me as "that crazy guy" hahaha, so my stuff isn't even fully cold approach anymore </3
that's specially true when you"re going to better venues

in environments that are more selective people who goes there are the same all the time (a kind of peer group)

if you enjoy the night, have some social stamina and flirt with girls (old school open-attract-eject) you get lays from girls that  "already know you from few weeks ago"

you're the "cool dude"... at that point most of your lays is only by getting some logistics and pulling the trigger when you feel she's in slut mode, pretty smooth

is half-way between cold approach and social-circle-game.... and i got laid this weekend thanks this logic in a club i usally go
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