THE FORUMS

December 10th, 2016
BECOME ADVANCED: Pushing for results is PART of the process
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Bowss

Senior Member

Join Date: 07/22/2012 | Posts: 273

 Thought I’d share some thoughts I’ve been having on the progression that lots of guys struggle with when going from results focussed to process focussed: they don’t realise that the actions of trying to close are PART of the process.
This comes from a confusion about what ‘The Process’ actually IS: IMO the process is developing ALL the different skills that comprise being good with girls and this is a long-term thing. It’s a learning process which requires a focus on your actions (and enjoying them) and less on the results of those actions.

What is it to be results focussed and why is focussing on results so bad?

Being results focussed is just needing the girl to like you, needing a number, needing a makeout, needing sex from the girl. Guys who are results focussed just want results NOW.

Focussing on results puts guys in the seller frame (they’re trying to leech off the girl, trying to sell themselves (poor product that they are) to her without offering any value to her (=giving their life perspective, giving a range of emotions, being unreactive and centred with her); and it makes them outcome dependent: nervous, reactive, stifled.

Why so many guys don’t want to be process oriented and why they should be

Why would a guy want to focus on a process if he just wants NOW? It doesn’t seem to make any sense. The problem with this is that if he sucks now and goes up to girls only caring about results, he won’t get them and he will KEEP sucking. Guys like this have no value to offer the girl, because they don’t want to talk to her, they don’t care about fun, they just need their creepy little outcome.

Understandably the girl doesn’t want anything to do with them.

So if you realise you’re gonna have a number of YEARS sexually active, then maybe you’ll realise that you should focus on the process, and if you focus on the process then in the long term you’ll get results more and more consistently, with hotter and hotter girls, plus more importantly you will change into a way more awesome person.

A lot of guys have stopped being results focussed, but still don't get many results. Why?

The opposite problem that quite a few guys have is that they’ve stopped being results oriented which is great, but now despite understanding the importance of letting go of the outcome (not focussing on the results), they still don’t get many results, because they don’t PUSH for results.
Why would they when they’re no longer results focussed?

BUT here’s the key: The process INCLUDES pushing for results. Someone can be good in lots of areas and still never get the girls, because they don’t CLOSE.

The responsibility must be on your shoulders.
You need to open, you need to lead the girl, you need to be the one to try to pull her from the club, dealing with her objections. If you don’t, then you are neglecting a huge part of the process: closing. Your skills won’t get as good as fast; your personality won’t improve as much and of course you won’t get as many results.

For example, if you at least try to pull that hottie who you’re having fun talking to, then you COULD get a result. If you don’t try, 99% of the time you won’t. Just the fact of trying, whether it works out or not, will improve your skill: the more you practice things that CHALLENGE you, the easier it’ll be to do it next time.

What’s the difference between being process focussed but pushing for results, and results focussed?

The difference is that loving the process is all about loving the ACTION that you take, not the RESULT of action. Because everything is so unpredictable and because being results focussed messes up your results, you must realise that you can only control your action- but this action should still involve you trying to close. You should also want results (of course you should want sex), but NOT NEED them: you’re fine without them.

So the process is NOT just going out a lot and seeing what happens. It’s going out and taking action to learn ALL the different skills of being good with women whilst not NEEDING the results, but still PUSHING FOR THEM.

The process is going out and densifying all the different areas of your personality and skillset.
This goes for every single area of success with women: it’s all about understanding ALL the different areas then practicing them.

So

1) realise that there are a lot of different skills to work on: both inner mindsets and outer techniques.

2) Then you need to COMPARE what YOU DO with what you SHOULD do and think about this. Not when you’re out, but when you’re at home: write down all the different actions you took within different interactions and the mindsets you had, then compare these to what it would be best for you to do/ think (that’s what all the info on this site is for). Work out the best way to fix the sticking point
                  a. Some things require you to just push your comfort zone. For example if you don’t feel comfortable talking to 10s, the first step is to approach more of them
                  b. Other things need to be practiced until they’re automatic: things you need to do EVERY set, e.g. being physical; screening for logistics, qualifying a girl you like etc.

3) Go out again and do the same thing. Keep identifying what you consistently do and don’t do; realise what to do instead, then keep going out and with time you’ll incorporate that skill into your skillset. That’s how you improve FAST

Another aspect of the process is the process for a particular night. Tyler has some awesome stuff on this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=vuzOWmqGevw

Love the process. It’s SO much fun going out and meeting new girls and influencing them, messing around, and just as importantly learning and improving.
That’s the process. And the process includes persisting for the results even if you don’t need them.
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#1
Timone

Timone

Senior Member

Join Date: 09/02/2012 | Posts: 216

 Fucking amazing thread, such a joke how some people on this forum don't recognise the value on the thread, and instead swarm towards the "do looks matter" posts. Anyway, this should be a sticky for everyone to read, so important to get your head round this paradox and something I am currently going through right now.

Sick!
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#2
gilfox

gilfox

Senior Member

Join Date: 11/16/2012 | Posts: 176

Awesome post, mate it so relates in so many levels exciting stuff!! :D
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#3
Wavy

Wavy

Junior Member

Join Date: 01/07/2010 | Posts: 25

 
great thread!
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TEARING UP LONDON BRUHBRUH!
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#4
Timone

Timone

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Join Date: 09/02/2012 | Posts: 216

 Bump
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#5

narv

Respected Member

Join Date: 04/07/2012 | Posts: 585

looks solid. Good post and I agree with everthing.
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#6

Bowss

Senior Member

Join Date: 07/22/2012 | Posts: 273

Thanks a lot guys, glad it helped
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#7
Trig

Trig

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Join Date: 05/03/2007 | Posts: 1955

 Great Post
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#8
O'malley

O'malley

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Join Date: 03/24/2012 | Posts: 108

My main sticking point. Great article.
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#9

tommyboy71

Junior Member

Join Date: 12/25/2012 | Posts: 12

yep, so good man. First time I've properly understood this
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#10
YahoodieXx

YahoodieXx

Junior Member

Join Date: 04/13/2013 | Posts: 11

Perfect
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