THE FORUMS

December 4th, 2016
How Most People Learn: Article Length
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Ballgames

Trusted Member

Join Date: 07/25/2011 | Posts: 2584

 This is actually a really interesting question. 

I look at pickup forums and I see the same people asking the same retarded questions and getting the same, annoyed/exasperated/dick answers over and over again. 

Then you see some guys come onto the scene and, in a relatively short amount of time, start blowing shit up: Think- JMULV, Cat, Rogan etc...

Same thing over at the bodybuilding forums- As I'm getting more and more acquainted with that site, I see the same pattern. There is a large grouping of people who ask the same questions, don't read the stickies, don't read basic articles, then ask stupid questions, get answers and then fight those answers and refuse to change. 

The funny part is that the advise that's given out, both in pickup and on other forums, is most often coming from the very guys who went through the transformation that the dude asking the question wants to go through. 

So the question about learning, really becomes, a question of "Why do people resist making changes, even when they are being told the answer to their questions, by the very people who have experienced, in the real world, the very shit that the guy asking the question, is thinking about doing"

Probably could be reduced to simple, "Why do people resist change"? 

What are some of the common ways we rationalize this resistance:

I"It's just not me", "It's not my style", "I don't even know if I would want that", "x or y is morally fucked up", "I don't want to lie", "I just need to get x or y handled", "I really want THIS particular girl" (Oh and that last one comes in a million shapes and sizes that all avoid actually phrasing it like that), "But I heard x or y is true", "That's not possible", "But what if x", "But what if y"

For other areas of interest, it's all the same thing- it's all bullshit- it's all LITERALLY just fucking STORIES that we tell ourselves.... That's what's hilarious about this whole thing- everything in our little "world" is just a fucking STORY- we all need to get THAT.... NONE OF THIS IS REAL...

Like do you guys get that? 

NONE OF THIS IS REAL.... it's ALL A BIG FUCKING STORY

and trust me- the stories go so fucking deep that most it takes a long time to just recognize as a story. But you can get there quicker by just recognizing that ALL your thoughts ALL your beliefs, everything that is "You"- it's all just a fucking STORY...

That's literally one of the first things you learn if you go through any sort of buddhist training- and if you mediate a decent amount, after a couple months, maybe a year- depending on how dedicated you are to it- it's one of the first like "Major" epiphanies you'll come to- all of this shit- it's just a story lol. 

So now that I've repeated that over and over again, what's the point?

Well, the point, to go back to the beginning is to get at why people are resistant to change... or "Why are people resistant to learning"

So what I did there was to posit that "learning" and "change" are effectively the same. 

Learning is the process of change that occurs when you want to understand something

And

Change is the process of learning- only it's the process of learning that's manifested in action. 

So I would argue that "change" or "learning" doesn't have MUCH to do with your intelligence- rather- it has more to do with your ability to "let go". It has more to do with your ability to detach yourself from your ego. 

It has everything to do with recognizing that your current ways of doing things are all just a part of the story that you tell yourself so that you can continue being you. 

So why are we SO fucking insistent on being who we think we are? In other words- why are we so damn insistent on believing these stories?

Well- because, on some level we NEED these stories... Like it's really hard to go throughout day-to-day existence without any idea of who we are. 

I am buddhagames. I am smart. I am inquisitive. I am the kind of man that girls want to fuck. I am the kind of man that other guys want to be around. I am the kind of man that other men want to be. I am hard working.

The list goes on and on.

But none of this is "real"- these are just some of the stories I like to tell myself, so that I can reinforce who I am, amidst the chaos that is life. 

So, naturally, for me- anything that goes against any one of these "stories" is something that I will fight- despite the fact that accepting it, would be the one thing that would allow me to learn and change.

So the point, as far as I can see it, isn't to get rid of all stories you have- rather, the point is to consciously be aware of the stories that exist, so that you can write and re-write them in any way you want. 

It's like the matrix guys- when the people in that movie were completely plugged in- they had ZERO control over anything; however, when they unplugged from that shit and took the blue pill ( or was it the red pill- wtvr- fuck it) and were willing to go down the rabbit hole with Morpheus, it was only then that they were able to re-plug back into the matrix and essentially CREATE whatever life they wanted for themselves. 

They detached from the matrix, just enough, so that when they did go back and engage with that world- they were able to interact with it, in a way that was positive and allowed them to achieve their goals. 

Simple ways of doing this: Every time you have a thought, "I can't do this"- simply replace that thought, consciously, with "I Can do this"

Whenever you have a thought, "I'm not that great" (or something similar)- you replace it with, "I'm fucking awesome"

And you know what? Who the FUCK is going to tell you that you aren't awesome?

Only the biggest faggot in the world can sit there, in front of you, and say, "No man- you're not awesome" and on top of that- when they do- who gives a FUCK. 

That's the power of writing your own story and having the confidence that comes with it- nobody can break you. Nothing can break you because you're writing the story- you're in control. 

So, when learning something new- be willing to soak it all in and allow yourself to FEEL your own resistance to change. 

When I do this- when I "Feel" my resistance, it literally feels, in my body, like I am tightening up and when I resist change, mentally, it actually manifests itself as physical tightening up- a physical resistance. 

Anyway- food for thought, fellas. 

There is nothing that separates so called "Fast learners" from so called "Slow learners" except for your ability to detach from the stories you've told yourself your whole life and assign new ones in their place. 

If you've told yourself that you are dumb your whole life- re-write that script and tell yourself you're smart...

Maybe you're not- it DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER. Tell yourself you are. 

because when you tell yourself you are something- even if you aren't- it is more likely to come true because you will slowly start to act and behave in a way that supports what you believe. 

Re-write the script guys. Even if it's sometihng small and seemingly trivial- maybe that's where you need to start... but just do it and in the process- start to learn. Start to change.
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 The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars

A man may fall down many times, but he won't be a f ailure until he says someone pushed him"

Buddha
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#1
Tyler

Tyler

Instructor | Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 8738

Nice article man, thanks!

I'm a SLOW learner btw -- usually the slowest in the group to learn just about anything -- but at the same time it's like you said, I'm willing to detach from the stupid ass story and just stay present with it, focus on enjoying the process (and being CONSISTENT with it) and celebrating the small victories until I "get it".

Tyler 
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#2

Ballgames

Trusted Member

Join Date: 07/25/2011 | Posts: 2584

haha I'll be in vegas for world summit- I expect a full array of nerf guns at my disposal when I arrive at the frat castle. 

Btw- I was creepin some of hte pics yall have been sending me and I'm slightly unnerved by the dangerously low amount of fucks being given. Daddy likes. 
JMULV wrote:
 LOOK WHO'S FUCKIN BACK ON THE FORUMS! I knew you couldn't stay away fucker haha. Welcome back.
__________________
90 Days Challenge (Currently in the Final Third): "It's Just Something You Have To Do If You Want To Be Great"    
http://www.rsdnation.com/node/233192/forum
 The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars

A man may fall down many times, but he won't be a f ailure until he says someone pushed him"

Buddha
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#3

Ballgames

Trusted Member

Join Date: 07/25/2011 | Posts: 2584

Thanks man. 

Yeah, I'd be interested to see if you agree with me on this- but I would say that there is actually a certain level of "thoroughness" that comes with being a "slow" learner. 

A pretty famous Buddhist monk whose works I've read a lot of, Suzuki Roshi, has a quote from a book, "Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind" where he uses a great "horse" metaphor to describe this- he talks about the fast horse- who will speed up at even the shadow of the whip, then the medium speed horse who needs a good whipping and then the slow horse who literally needs to be beaten so hard that his bone is cracked and he's bleeding, until he'll change

But he mentions that with the fast horse- you may constantly need that shadow of the whip to remind him to speed up but with the slow horse, he only needs to suffer this pain once and the lesson is learned. 

Tyler wrote:
Nice article man, thanks!

I'm a SLOW learner btw -- usually the slowest in the group to learn just about anything -- but at the same time it's like you said, I'm willing to detach from the stupid ass story and just stay present with it, focus on enjoying the process (and being CONSISTENT with it) and celebrating the small victories until I "get it".

Tyler 
__________________
90 Days Challenge (Currently in the Final Third): "It's Just Something You Have To Do If You Want To Be Great"    
http://www.rsdnation.com/node/233192/forum
 The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars

A man may fall down many times, but he won't be a f ailure until he says someone pushed him"

Buddha
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#4

moneyTrain

Junior Member

Join Date: 04/10/2012 | Posts: 27

People resist change because it takes less energy to stay the same. A simple but unfortunate aspect of being biological.
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#5

Ballgames

Trusted Member

Join Date: 07/25/2011 | Posts: 2584

Hm- I get where you're coming from but I'd actaully say that a lot of times, from my experience, it seems like I'm expending way more energy trying to resist the change. 

If we're talking strictly in terms of physical displacement or wtvr- sure... But obviously this post was slightly more mataphorical than that
moneyTrain wrote:
People resist change because it takes less energy to stay the same. A simple but unfortunate aspect of being biological.
__________________
90 Days Challenge (Currently in the Final Third): "It's Just Something You Have To Do If You Want To Be Great"    
http://www.rsdnation.com/node/233192/forum
 The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars

A man may fall down many times, but he won't be a f ailure until he says someone pushed him"

Buddha
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#6
asdkingasd

asdkingasd

Respected Member

Join Date: 12/31/2012 | Posts: 305

all the bullshit that is going through my life right now is like cut in a half after i read this post. thanks man

*and just edited my signature lmao
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#7

Jove

Senior Member

Join Date: 09/07/2011 | Posts: 253

 This is legit! Thanks man!
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#8

Nassim

Member

Join Date: 05/05/2011 | Posts: 79

What adds to the confusion IMO is that it's rarely the guys who went through a tranformation process themselves who give advice. Rather it's guys who are satisfied with just appearing like they went through the process.
E.g. the latest trend of articles written using RSD coaches gimmicks. Like 'Be the koala not the eucalyptus leaf' or someshit lol
Tyler mentioned recently that the forum is not really for learning but more like infotainment. I appreciated that he makes that clear. I also like the whole process of writing field reports and anaysis after a night out.
But even that is not necessarily for learning.
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#9

Ballgames

Trusted Member

Join Date: 07/25/2011 | Posts: 2584

Yeah, I would tend to stay away from anyone whose like, "I went to soandso event ONE WEEK AGO and I have finally realized what the meaning of life is"

Most people who geninely are worth listening to have something to say, in their own words, have gone out with lots of guys from the community (they aren't just some rando 14 year old pretending to have really gone through the process) and what they write penetrates to the core of the matter, rather quickly- this is just because, in my experience, the truth has that quality of really cutting past the glands and going straight to the heart. 

Of course the forum isn't really for "learning"- unless you're looking at the field report section- you can def. learn from that. 

What the forum HAS helped me with- is developing a "Real LIfe" group of VERY solid pooah's across the world (New York, Las Vegas, Australia, Canada) who I talk to regularly about game. THESE talks, obviously combined with going out a lot, are what help me to really grow and refine how I interact with people.
Nassim wrote:
What adds to the confusion IMO is that it's rarely the guys who went through a tranformation process themselves who give advice. Rather it's guys who are satisfied with just appearing like they went through the process.
E.g. the latest trend of articles written using RSD coaches gimmicks. Like 'Be the koala not the eucalyptus leaf' or someshit lol
Tyler mentioned recently that the forum is not really for learning but more like infotainment. I appreciated that he makes that clear. I also like the whole process of writing field reports and anaysis after a night out.
But even that is not necessarily for learning.
__________________
90 Days Challenge (Currently in the Final Third): "It's Just Something You Have To Do If You Want To Be Great"    
http://www.rsdnation.com/node/233192/forum
 The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars

A man may fall down many times, but he won't be a f ailure until he says someone pushed him"

Buddha
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#10

Nassim

Member

Join Date: 05/05/2011 | Posts: 79

Ah that's true and in my case not only for game. I'm super grateful to this forum for that.
Buddhagames wrote:

What the forum HAS helped me with- is developing a "Real LIfe" group of VERY solid pooah's across the world (New York, Las Vegas, Australia, Canada) who I talk to regularly about game. THESE talks, obviously combined with going out a lot, are what help me to really grow and refine how I interact with people.

Nassim wrote:
What adds to the confusion IMO is that it's rarely the guys who went through a tranformation process themselves who give advice. Rather it's guys who are satisfied with just appearing like they went through the process.
E.g. the latest trend of articles written using RSD coaches gimmicks. Like 'Be the koala not the eucalyptus leaf' or someshit lol
Tyler mentioned recently that the forum is not really for learning but more like infotainment. I appreciated that he makes that clear. I also like the whole process of writing field reports and anaysis after a night out.
But even that is not necessarily for learning.

Login or register to post.