THE FORUMS

December 6th, 2016
How I Get Laid
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Turok

Respected Member

Join Date: 06/08/2010 | Posts: 588

So here is my basic MO of getting a ONS...

First i'll talk about what i don't do.

A lot of community guys I see seem to go up to every girl and try to command her attention instantly by being loud and relatively intense.  Their vision of pickup as far as I can tell is to be the alpha guy and have the girl staring at him adoringly as they do so.  They seem to feel like just being a part of the group and hanging out is a failure or a waste of time.  They often try to get physical with every girl within a couple of minutes, and once they get a make out, attempt to maintain a level of physicality that is simply unsustainable over the next hour or two (aka the time between when they met and when they could potentially leave together).  They often get cock-blocked or have girls run away from them, and they rarely get laid (with quality, anyway).

I started out that way, as many community dudes do, and then swung to the other extreme for a while.  I was the guy that could roll up, charm the fuck out of the group, and become the cool, fun guy.  I could hang out with my girl and her friends all night, maybe get a little kiss or relatively harmless physicality, and then make a half- ass attempt to close before getting the number.  I actually pulled 30+ girls doing this, just being a cool guy who could project value and flirt, without making anyone uncomfortable.  Problem was, even if the girl and i had kissed, there was NOT a sexually dominant vibe.  I was essentially letting them dictate the rhythm all the way, and that continued in the bedroom.  I got a LOT of LMR and have probably pulled and not fucked more women than i care to admit.

What i've learned is the proper balance between the two.  I approach the girl I want and talk, using eye contact to signal the interest but talking loud enough that everyone can hear.  I usually am initially just conveying that I am loud, happy, and not taking things seriously.  I then talk to the other members of the group.  I oscillate between talking to the whole group and talking to my girl.  If I can, I will try to get even a little bit of isolation by turning her away from her friends.  Obviously it helps if you have cool wings to chat the group while you go in solo on your girl.  I'm not afraid to let the girls talk amongst themselves and just sort of stand there and dance a little and smile.  Deliberately wasting time, periodically adding value and just kinda blending into the group.  At a certain point i usually get an opportunity to take my girl by the hand and lead her just a little bit out of the group and turn her  a little from them.  I usally start to get a little more physical and direct now, and the sexual chemistry starts up.  She's already interacted with me socially and can tell i'm a fun, cool dude, but now she sees that i might be interested in her.  I'm gradual with my escalation - I usually don't give them too much right away because that would convey i like them before i should, aka before they've earned it.  But i typically pull them in and then make a comment about their body or how cute they are.  Usually we kiss soon after this.  Often this makes them horny and slowly this escalates to making out.  Once we have made out and it is sexual, I want to cool it off a bit.  The right frames have been established, I know that it is difficult to maintain a full sexual vibe in a club for a long time (plus it kills anticipation).  This is where the game of attrition comes in to play.

NOTE 1: I always make sure to lead her away from them AT SOME POINT, to the bar or whatever, and bring her back later.  Greases the pull, yada yada, and builds trust with friends because you brought her back
NOTE 2: Very key...when escalating and getting physical i always convey that her body is my property.  Not that i do anything to make her uncomfortable but I clearly convey that i touch her how i want and am not the least bit shy or scared to touch her anywhere, pull her in and "force" (not really cause shes into it) a makeout, etc.  This mitigates LMR because she won't get alone with you unless she is down since you have conveyed you're the type of guy who will take what he wants.  This is still relatively subtle but the intent behind your physicality needs to be there

Anyway back to attrition.  Most of my lays come through attrition.  We are hanging out in semi-isolation, near enough to her friends that she isn't being weird and ignoring them but far enough away that we are in our own little bubble.  From this distance you can make out a little and get sexual without it being awkward.  However you still maintain that group vibe that the girls like and periodically interact with them.  You fractionate between socializing with her by just wasting time, clowning around and having fun, getting sexual with her every now and then and escalting the interaction verbally and physically, and socializing with her friends, coming over from time to time to inject fun and good vibes.  This way you are a prize in her eyes, her friends like you, but everyone gets the sense that you are a boss and "Lucy is with that guy tonight."  It also lets you waste time better because you have all three avenues to explore.  In fact i would even add a fourth - let her hang out with just her friends and go joke around with your buddies or talk to other girls.  Caveat here is you might lose her in a busy club but its an option.

WHat then typically happens is you do this for a while until the end of the night rolls around.  Then it is just a matter of staying with the girl.  Often times the friends begin to leave and eventually there is only one or two friends left.  I've had multiple instances where around 3 am the last friends come up to us and say they're taking off and that my girl should stay.  AKA leaving her with me and giving her permission to get fucked.  This happens because they can tell my girl likes me and they can also tell that since i was able to hang out with the last 2 hours with them and relatively keep it in my pants i am a safe dude.  I wasn't akwardly groping or anything, their friend is comfortable with me, and tbh they probably don't realize how sexual it is secretely getting between me and the girl.

Sometimes this doesn't happen - in which case I try to leave with them.  If they are going to another bar I ask if i can come.  Otherwise i offer to walk her home or anything.  Basically any excuse to stay with the girl until the friends peel off and you can get her alone late night.  By simply perservering sometimes you end up in excellent logistical situations

Third situation is when i get that voice in my head telling me she is down for an immediate pull.  Trust that voice.

And then other times they get in the cab and tell you you can't come and you're stuck with a phone number.

But ya from there its just a matter of end-game: logistics, lying your ass off, and playful persistance.  THe trick is doing all this while maintaining you value, which i am still working on and can sometimes do better than others.  But that should get you from open to end game.
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#1
afl3x

afl3x

Respected Member

Join Date: 10/13/2011 | Posts: 375

Sick man. I like the leaving the group and coming back part. Gonna try that... This is a lot like Alex's game, except he usually doesn't get sexual in the club. I personally try to keep sexuality in the club to a minimum to prevent any type of LMR. When I get isolation and she gives me any type of LMR I back off where its to far and become extremely detached from outcome. Last pull I literally fell asleep and woke up in the middle of the night to pull of a ninja attack for the close.
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#2

RihannaDeservedIt

Junior Member

Join Date: 10/02/2012 | Posts: 26

Mr. GQ wrote:
thank you man! i think this will take my game to a whole new level of awesomeness! just to make sure that i understand this properly: you are basically that massive alpha guy BUT instead of just taking that one girl you befriend all the girls´in the group. then you take the girl you want into semi-isolation, then full isolation, then bring her back and then pull?
I thought OP had some interesting points. Establishing physical dominance to eliminate LMR, but only after establishing credibility with the group seems like a damn good plan to me.

In sports, the best coaches are the ones who obsess over fundamentals. The same is probably true in pick up.
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#3
Radar01

Radar01

Senior Member

Join Date: 01/19/2013 | Posts: 163

Quality post, thanks.
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#4
reason

reason

Junior Member

Join Date: 01/21/2013 | Posts: 21

I like it. Nice read. Thanks!
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#5

Turok

Respected Member

Join Date: 06/08/2010 | Posts: 588

Mr. GQ wrote:
thank you man! i think this will take my game to a whole new level of awesomeness! just to make sure that i understand this properly: you are basically that massive alpha guy BUT instead of just taking that one girl you befriend all the girls´in the group. then you take the girl you want into semi-isolation, then full isolation, then bring her back and then pull?


Exactly. Not always in any specific order or anything but I bounce between those modes. Even giving them a little time all to themselves but not too much so that they reestablish the original girl group vibe without you. If She likes you enough this won't happen but if you do leave too soon, for too long it can And then you have to do the same work over again. Sometimes you can't get the vibe back so leave on a high note after you've established a solid connection w your girl. Or just don't leave it all But you can sort of duck out of the group and dance or hang out with your friends on the outskirts from time to time
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#6
Tyler

Tyler

Instructor | Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 8738

Sweet contribution, thanks so much!

It def has the vibe of someone whose going out and doing this.  I've had a lot of similar experiences as well!

Basically finding that balance between knowing how to open hard VS just easing in there and merging into the group without freaking them out, figuring "enough is enough" as far as attraction and just naturally getting the girl comfortable enough to fuck you, without sacrificing the attraction that the initial harder opening type stuff would give you.

I really like how you're experimenting and honing in on the perfect mix.  Dig it.

Tyler
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#7

Trent3Reznor

Respected Member

Join Date: 09/19/2011 | Posts: 456

Solid.

Assume attraction, spend time with the girl, and lead when your instincts tell you. 

Aggression is great for commanding attention in loud environments but it's never necessary.

You can get away with being chill by simply getting close and talking in their ear. 

What matters most is that you're relaxed and congruent with what you project.
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#8
AustinCC

AustinCC

Respected Member

Join Date: 03/24/2011 | Posts: 566

 solid! I think i do this pretty well these days, but always another perspective on how i can do better helps. My old wing was great at dealing with whole groups and then secretly turning girls on without their friends knowing. 

One thing i like to do, is throw out old school SOI's (statements of interest) early in the interaction without expecting any return so i can set the frame and look for compliance in terms of overall work. 

EX: "You're super cute!!!" or "I love the way you dress" and then imediately thread cutting and going somewhere else unless, of course, i get compliance. 
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#9
Adil

Adil

Respected Member

Join Date: 03/29/2010 | Posts: 305

Nice!

I want to add something on these particular nuances of bouncing off/coming back to the target's group when you are solo. When you bounce off the target's group you shall not just stand there doing nothing, at least for a long time, for a number of reasons: your state can go down, you will most likely not be percieved as a prize and risk being perceived as weird :)

This is why it's important to be social in the club and have fun instead of targeting only hot girls as it becomes a crutch. I mostly go out alone, so it's inevitable that I would become too much outcome dependent if I solely focus on gaming. What I do is befriending people in general, be it girls or guys, so that there are groups of people familiar with me, to which I can come back instead of hanging out there alone. This is just common sense - if you hang out with people, you are social and not creepy. If you are standing/sitting there alone for a considerable time, then most likely you are not a prize (who you want to be). Befriend people, and even when you are chilling, people will come to you, and you are percieved as a prize again.
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