THE FORUMS

December 10th, 2016
How To Talk To Girls
Your rating: None Average: 5 (2 votes)
Bookmark and Share
Manwhore

Manwhore

Trusted Member

Join Date: 11/08/2006 | Posts: 6925

 There are 3 main areas you must cover when learning how to talk to girls. They are: 1) Vocal Projection 2) “Lowering the Bar“, and 3) “Boss DaddyCommunication (instead of friend to friend)

1) Vocal Projection
When you talk to a girl, or a group of people, you must speak clearly, forcefully, and always have emotion in your voice. This conveys authority and conviction, two things that humans are hardwired to respond to with compliance. Most people think of an orator or a public speaker when envisioning someone with this kind of speaking ability. And they imagine they must have incredibly significant content to be “allowed” to speak with such power or conviction. But in actuality it has more to do with the physiological way in which the voice is projected (through use of lungs, diaphragm, and vocal cords to produce volume and “force” in the voice), rather than the content itself. Many public speakers and politicians, and even preachers, use incredibly simple rhetoric when speaking, yet are masters of vocal projection and therefore are incredibly compelling to listen to and watch.

Good solid vocal projection is produced through: “diaphragmatic breathing” (proper breathing technique), “speaking cognizance“, and “modulated vocal tonality“. Through these techniques, the voice becomes louder and stronger, and more full of emotional expression.

It is also the most effective way of cold approaching a woman you don’t yet know. By walking up and speaking loudly and clearly to her, it communicates to her on an unconscious biological level, that you are a strong high-value male. She will instantly respond to you, and treat you with more respect than she gives to quieter, more subdued men.

2) Lowering the Bar
This refers to the idea of removing your “social filter” and simply saying anything that pops into your head when talking to a girl. The main reason why this is so difficult for most, is that people adopt filters in their heads that keep them from saying things that could be perceived as “strange” or abnormal, and that then might subsequently lower their perceived social status. This is many times completely unconscious, and frustratingly enough seems to strike at exactly the wrong moment, e.g. you’re talking to a girl you like, or need to impress a potential new client/boss/contact, and your mouth and brain clam up. But by training oneself to simply speak without filter, and trusting on natural calibration (you have a lifetime of experience talking to people, and your natural conversational quirks are simply that.. unique), you develop the ability to sound comfortable and compelling when speaking. This also has the added benefit of never inadvertently creating verbal competition between you and a girl. You take her off her guard by letting her know you are simply self-expressing, completely nonjudgmental, and just having fun.

So, by lowering the bar, e.g. just spitting out whatever comes out, and keeping your vocal projection strong, you have achieved the ability to “pimp talk” a girl. Listen to any guy that’s good with women, or anyone you know of that’s good at talking off the cuff.. and what you’ll notice is that their content isn’t that good at all, it’s their delivery.

So by paying attention to #1 (above) you give yourself the ability to say anything, and make it sound magical. This concept is also many times also referred to as the “million dollar mouthpiece”, or, “verbal vomiting”.

3) Boss Daddy Communication
This is one of the big secrets of “seduction” that doesn’t get talked about enough, and isn’t really even understood by most of the big companies out there. It is understood that most men talk to women in a way that unconsciously conveys they are seeking their approval, want something from them, or perceive themselves to be of lower social value than the woman they are speaking to. This is incredibly unattractive to most women, and is a killer of natural biological attraction between a man and a woman. This part is understood reasonably well, however, what isn’t addressed very well at all, is what to say to women, e.g. how to steer the conversation in the right direction, how to shape a “seductive” conversation, and how to make her want to have sex.. when she didn’t want to before the guy started talking to her.

Women want a guy who’s strong-willed and masculine, and a social leader, but they also want him to be “nice” to them, and never hurt them emotionally. “Boss Daddy Communication” refers to this dichotomy. The “boss” side of things refers to the authority and masculinity you bring to bear when conversing with her, and the “daddy” part refers to the endearing, “comfort-based” tonality and attitude you use with her.

Being an ex-military guy, I had the “boss” side of things down, but I could be a bit intimidating to some girls, or not emotionally flexible enough to be able to provide certain things a girl needed to feel comfortable with me. Hanging out with Tim of RSD really gave me my first glimpse of the “daddy” attitude he had when talking with women. (He called it the “Bubble of Love”) He always let them know that even if he was teasing them and “showing them who was boss”, he always did it in a playful way and always let them know he wasn’t trying to vilify them or lower their social status. This is the problem with the typical “seduction community” dogma that states you must “neg” a girl.. in the hands of an inexperienced guy, or a bitter one, negging comes off harsh and inappropriate between a guy and a girl, and makes her feel like you’re trying to paint her as a social outcast. No girl wants to feel this way.. ever. She will scratch your eyes out first!

So the correct way to do this is to tease a girl playfully, or boss her around in a way that isn’t serious or condescending.

Example:
Look girl.. I think you need to make me a sandwich.. STAT. And I hope you only “cook” using the best ingredients, that being jiffy! Do NOT try to hand me any of that generic peanut butter. Ew gross!
Login or register to post.
#1
Mackiavelli

Mackiavelli

Respected Member

Join Date: 10/19/2012 | Posts: 606

 solid post man.. fuck when i turn 21 i wanna party with you guys in vegas!!
__________________
Login or register to post.
#2
CANM

CANM

Respected Member

Join Date: 11/30/2012 | Posts: 979

 Good stuff Mr. Manwhore.
__________________
 
Login or register to post.
#3
bigjew629

bigjew629

Trusted Member

Join Date: 04/08/2012 | Posts: 1582

Or you could just speak your mind and be friendly, mature and cool about it. And be physical and emotionally appealing too of course. Thats what I do anyways; being physical almost automatically eliminates the possiblity of "friend to friend" or what I would call "kid mommy" interaction.

Either way, its great to finally see some posts about the fundamentals this way we can have less crying noobs around here.
__________________
I got mad knowledge of self. -Us3
Even though they all say that they're real I know that most aren't. -Eminem
Lament not your vanquished fantasy; its only destiny. -Bad Religion 
Stop trying to impress chicks. Stop trying to impress guys. Impress yourself for a change.
Be Greedy, not Needy.
There is no place for victims in this world.
If you don't like the idea of the deck being stacked against you, then grab your crotch and see if your balls are still there.
I don't usually pray, but when I do...it's for the extermination of Radical Feminists, MGTOW/MRAs/"Red Pill" people, and their blind followers.
I, Hardcase: Advice and analysis for anyone who considers themself a Hardcase Newbie:
Part 1 = http://www.rsdnation.com/node/291325/forum
Part 2 = http://www.rsdnation.com/node/292242/forum
Part 3 = http://www.rsdnation.com/node/293113/forum  
Login or register to post.
#4
Manwhore

Manwhore

Trusted Member

Join Date: 11/08/2006 | Posts: 6925

 I'm curious, as a coach.. many times guys come up with a phrase or idea that helps them simplify and internalize concepts. Or they're just their personal buzzwords. Is that what "Or you could just speak your mind and be friendly, mature and cool about it. And be physical and emotionally appealing too of course." is? 
Login or register to post.
#5
Hyperion_Dark

Hyperion_Dark

Trusted Member

Join Date: 02/28/2011 | Posts: 1500

Great post, manwhore. A question/problem that sort of relates to this.

I have this issue that with some girls (or people in general) I can be super charismatic, funny, and witty, but with others my brain just shuts down and I can not say anything. I naturally do the 3 things you just stated with some, but with others my brains seems to not give me permission or something to be clever and it's like I'm a different person; completely lacking in social skills. The problem is that it's not even proportional to the girl's hotness, as I know some 8s I can be "cool" with and some random 7s or male friends where all the charisma I had is gone.


Do you have any advice on how to fix this? 
Login or register to post.
#6
G-Money

G-Money

Respected Member

Join Date: 09/20/2011 | Posts: 586

Good post. 

I need to start developing the "boss daddy" communication frame. Most of my game currently is revolved around social circle since I'm in college. I think I unconsciously tell myself that this type of communication could come off as weird sometimes and I could develop a bad reputation. I know that's just bullshit my brain is telling me though. There's nothing weird about talking to girls this way and I do it quite a bit. I think the hard part is internalizing this frame, so you treat no girls differently and it essentially becomes the way you speak to all women. 
__________________
Building an attractive lifestyle of abundance through finance, women, and personal development. 
Login or register to post.
#7
EdwardCullen

EdwardCullen

Senior Member

Join Date: 08/22/2006 | Posts: 223

good post man ;). 
__________________
 
Login or register to post.
#8

tackal

Senior Member

Join Date: 01/11/2013 | Posts: 153

 This was a great post. It was practical and concrete. RSD needs more videos that talk about things like this.
__________________
 
Login or register to post.
#9
UtopiaFive

UtopiaFive

Trusted Member

Join Date: 09/16/2008 | Posts: 4956

Manwhore your coaching skill is excellent and well we all know this.

Vocal projection is hard to describe in words. You may want to grab someone like Sam and go through the process of showing how he talks with bad projection, and get him to improve it, in a video.

I remember you were very good at giving me one single piece of feedback in summit of 2011 that helped quite a bit, where I then nailed 5 girls that week.
Login or register to post.
#10
RollsLikeSocrates

RollsLikeSocrates

Senior Member

Join Date: 11/12/2012 | Posts: 262

Great post. Saved.
Login or register to post.