THE FORUMS

December 3rd, 2016
My Journey As A Hardcase Newbie; From The Ground Up
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559Lakersd

559Lakersd

Senior Member

Join Date: 12/05/2012 | Posts: 184

Hey RSDN! My first FR of 2013.After being stuck in my lair for some time.its time to gett it cracking. i thought it would serve me well to post about my come back so later on i can look back on how i initiated and tryed getting that ball rolling once agian.i havent gone out to take action for more than a month now,b/c of "Forced" rest.i couldnt go anywhere,cuase of car accident.Dec,16 was the last time being out & stepping outside my Comfort Zone. During that period i putted my focus on learning to skateboard,Tolle, and still working on my inner game/self esteem & applying Brad's Extreme Self Love everyday.Eventually my ride was all fixed up.Then i got fucking sick so i couldnt go out.Fast-foward that,now i was ready to go.so the time has come to take flight!...(a Background of me before Taking Action; Depression,Ongoing levels of Social Anxiety,Isolation,Social Awkwardness, Severe Low Self-Esteem,Xtreme Betaness, being Soo stuck in my head almost ALL the time especially in H.S flunking almost every class, Soo much Negativity/Pessimism & Really Bad Self Talk, NO Self Love or Respect,in addition to combat all that i suffered from Substance Abuse,constant mixing Alochol with street drugs.When i Finally did started to go out i used to roll with Street Gangsters.thats the only friends i had,i couldnt relate to other people. Then i left them in order to get on the right path and change for the better.Or else i would be behind bars right now or even dead from being Suicidal. And of course, i never got any ass,no pussy,no nada.Even from Big time sluts,that my "homies" would try to throw at me.  Many times i would ditch them cause i was soo scared of them when i was sober.   Soo much hurt&pain since my 1st & last GF dumped me,i was walking around tramuatized and SOO fucked up in ways, everywhere i go i avoided all woman/girls.No Presence,just stuck on Past & Future. if i saw one,i got all Paralyzed. i thought i was gonna go gay at one moment cus i viewed all girls/woman really mean,fucked up, & evil! Those are just some scraps of how i lived.

1-27-13: ---1st day back at the mall (my main headquaters to "game").However i was not alone.i went with family now that there back from vacation in Mexico.it totally sucked.not alot of people like in the holidays,everybodys taking a break i guess.A.A was strong after not taking action for so long.saw some girls,too fucking scared.Just looking at them shoved me inside my head+ Outcome Dependece.Saw a few girls My RAS started making excuses why i cant go up to talk to girls."your with fam. they'll see you get blown out,shes's busy,ughhh too hot,shes with her friend,shes leaving,can't think of what to say to her.etc.i even saw 1 girl (this cute blonde with nerdy swag)who was checking me out and looked approachable.i was too afraid to go up to her.my best bet was to talk to the shop workers at least.so thats what i did.i talked to this one girl at Van's,me looking for a new skateboard.didnt say much,she did most of the talking.great,that got me out of my head a little.moved on to Zumies.i was looking for new skinny jeans when this cute girl worker came up to me to see if i needed help.dam it felt so gewd talking to her,looking into her eyes after not being in contact with any girls.weird,i didnt feel scare talking to her even though she had this sweet cute looking face.a couple of seconds only then i smashed with new pair of jeans.SWEET!Headed to NOFear.i saw this cool guy that always works there.without thinking i just go up to him and say some shit.even though i didnt know what to say to him.felt nervous talking to him.he made a joke,that made me laugh a bit.Conversation lasted for 30 seconds,then i left.Felt Happy with that.it was time to leave.i was making sure i was RE-Framing my thoughts throught the day.im working on that hardcore,doing my best to postive reframe like Brad talks about.

Got Sick---Fast Foward--->>> 2-14-13,Thursday: ---(Daygame) First day out on Valentines Day.Gotta take action.Not much went down.Went into a couple of supermarkets and stores.nothing.i tryed to talk to somebody.Social Anxiety kicking in hard.i just wandered around like an idiot.Too much resistance to open my mouth.the few girls i did see,i thought ahead( projecting into the future),that made it worse.thinking about a Valentines Day opener & will it worked?i only approached 1 lady that day out.i manage to say a few words then i walked away fast.fuck it any action is better than nothing at all.oh well,first day out,i dont expect much.shit happens when you take time off.Saw everybody buying gifts and stuff out,didnt bother me like it used to thanks to Eckhart Tolle and working on my Extreme Self Love.Didnt go into those B.S thoughts on this or i dont have that blah blah blah!.

2-15-13,Friday: ---Evening.i'm noticing how im feeling more awesome even though im not taking alot of action.thanks Brad! of course thats #1 goal on my 2013 list,cultivate that Extreme Self Esteem/Love i arrive at Walmart. not talking to anyone yet.i kept re-framing.Soon enough,i saw an oppurtuniy.me walking around having awesome thoughts spotted 2 girls near kids bike & stuff section.i quess they were giving me an approach invitation cuase of how they were looking at me.it was obvious.i overheard them saying stuff like,"dam,hey you, let me suck your D".No Social Momentum yet,fuck the excuses,i went in for the approach.Got nervous,but i did it.i grabbed a baseball bat & used that as my opener.i was like,"wassup ladies,who wants to get cracked". i said how i overheard them talking.it was funny but at same time i was fucking nervous,tyred my best to keep my cool & relax.They were 7.5's haha.i think they thought i was serious cuase they looked a little scared.couldnt think of anything else to say,so i left.10 second interaction.Whheeww...Got that 1st approach.warmup. ---i see older woman were the Valnetines day stuff where.i go in and open her.Shitting my pants but im hanging in.15 second conversation.cool!Then her husband comes to me for help & i talk to him.they talk spanish btw.still shitting my pants but i contiue to talk for 30 seconds.Great son!Im getting more out of head i thought.nothing else there so i drive somewhere else.Nearest K-mart not many people.fuck it my goal for that night was to JUST GO OUT.the fact that im making that concsious decsion to do something and work on my goals is what makes me awesome.You GOTTA SHOW UP! 80% of success= showing up. No approaches there.however,still feeling proud about the previous little victories. still i got some References & took some action.$$$.talked to 3 people in total.All im expecting for myself. ~~~[b]A goal is not always meant to be reached,it often serves simply as somthing to aim at.-Bruce Lee~~

2-16-13,Saturday: --First time back in a big city after a long time not hustling there.i gotta get back my momentum i thought.Yesterday was good,but tonight,the world!JK :P.My Positive Re-Frame was being tested out hard that night.Like How long can i be self loving,how long before you give in to negative thoughts and vibes.so im inside Target,fuck,not following the "30 second rule".failing to do that 1st approach.i check out some stuff meanwhile. i cant even muster the courage to open anybody.i see people, feeling scared to approach them and say something.im being such a pussy.i cant even open the old ladies & ugly girls i saw there.so im failing to do warm-ups and built that social momentum.too scared to even say Hi. its crazy how i cannt approach like i used to.This is what happens after being stuck in my lair,now i gotta make something happen my mind tol me. I leave,not frustrated or anything. As im walking outside i see some 7's at shoe stands looking for shoes.i keep walking b/c of the social anxiety.My mind just blank,being a little bitch.I'm all dressed up looking all cool,my "looks" should be enough for these type of girls im telling myself.but nO.@ FamousFottwear,i get greeted by girl worker,i keep walking and didnt say anything.dont know why. Nothing there.i headed to Tilly's thinking that probably there something will go down.this is it.Couldnt be so wrong.i enter having thoughts like"im awesome,i look so cool in my new skinny jeans" to counter attack negative thoughts and vibes.i'm struggling to execute some willpower and talk to somebody.fucking A.A.Can't even talk to the workers there.

--Finally as i leave, i started to get sucked into those B.S feeling. Remebering Tyler's video on Getting Back into The Game.The instructors probably get this too if they were to take time off.i'm not the only one struggling & having Approach Anxiety.Shit happens i thought.Eventually i'll get that momentum back & start Cold Approaching. Last stop, i was like "i'm not leaving here until i atleast!Go up to just 1 girl.Thats it."At this point,that be my biggest sucess of the night.i arrive at another Target. This one always has the most customers & always see some cute white girls there.its about time i made it happen.Right as i enter i notice how i look like a new target employee.im dressed in the colors.Crazy!Red T-shirt,black hoodie cz its cold,new pair of khaki skinny jeans,cant forget about my chuck taylors & Raider snapback.rightaway spot pretty brunette chick at my rite. i finally make my way towards her.she turns body away from me i still open.i say that i'm the new guy that i cant wait to start working.shes like "oh,did you check in at the whatever blah blah."me:yeah bal blah.Puase,look at her eyes & flash a mischievious smile.she got the message."Naw, i'm just fucking with you girl,i'm no employee."She reacts like "oh youre such an asshole& stuff"she laughs a bit.i thought it was funny so i laff too.Told her what she thought,dont i match,it wasnt my intent,i just dressed up like that today.after that i was struggling with what to say next.some other cheick who works there comes in just in time.VRoom!i smash away with that small victory.Victory is mine!Feeling all happy that i finally talked to 1 girl and got that approach.Conversation was 15-20 seconds long.Done.i said 1 girl and i did it.Sweet!  Errrr,i figure that was it,now i can go home & celebrate that 1 approach during my drive.The End.

*I showed up and got out of my comfort zone.yay 4 me.Hand clap now. :D i did the best i can.totoally cool.im happy about that.No frustration or beating myself up cus of this or that,or being hard on myself.fuck that.Gotta hold that positive mindset that i'm cultivating.I'm still moving towards something and reaching my goals+working on myself.
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THE JOURNEY:

http://www.rsdnation.com/node/359059 <---- Latest F.R/Journal
http://www.rsdnation.com/node/270908 <---- F.R from 2012
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#1
559Lakersd

559Lakersd

Senior Member

Join Date: 12/05/2012 | Posts: 184

 2-22-13,Friday:

--first day of the week out...Nothing to post. all i could say is i just wandered around being a afraid to talk to people.Not following the "30 second rule", and just kept on rationalizing.

 2-23-13,Saturday:

--agian.Nothing to report.i failed to follow those principles that are so important.store after store after store,i'm wandering around,falling into " spectator mode ",feeling like im on the outside looking in,stifled,attached to the outcome.what a bitch.i saw many opportunities and chances,however i couldnt get myself to approach and open.Didnt talk to a single person,too socially anxious.just thinking about going up to a girl and open makes my mind go blank and shutdown.like what am i going to say to them.what a chode.wheres your balls at?My final stop of the night was to head over to the mall,havent been there since forever.thats where i collected the most reference experiences.So im feeling hopeful knowing that tonight might not be so bad after all.Gotta love the smell as i enter.Right thurr the was a girl by herself sitting down txting,yeup i rationalized.Saw a shitload of opportunties,i frozed and didnt take action.just looking at the girls was enough to stop me in my tracks.Felt almost impossible at that moment.it was obivious there were alot of "single" girls out looking for some action.i couldnt make eye contact with none of them.i had trouble even walking in their direction.theres girls like right in front of me or walking behind them,outside waiting for a ride,and i failed and failed to ACT.Felt so terrified,couldnt be inside a shop for long before i ejected.like come on man,i could not relax or be myself.its crazy,i was unable to talk to one person the entire night.WTF is up!i did this before,so theres NO reson why i cant do it agian.oh well i tryed.this is part of the process,gotta contiue going out and eventually i'll take intiative.i know i can.i'm better than that.trust in the process,its never going to be over.

--So dissapointed,tryed my best to reframe.but utimately i just couldnt take it.Got home,my parents (socially conditioned) upset on why im starting to go out agian.telling me I'm wasting my time doing all this and that,there excuse:wasting GAS.its like they dont dont want me to succedd! there agianst pickup. they tell me to just settle down for one girl (in their hometown in mexico) and marry her,cause all of the girls here in U.S are lazy bitches and whores.i keep telling that i'm FUCKED if i dont get this area of my life handled.that dispute lasted for 10 mintues.After that i went to bed so emotionally shattered,i cried.Havent cried since idk???i was so sad and kept thinking about my life.Afraid to die alone.i cryed for half an hour,before i ran out of tears.i concentrated on my breathe,knowing that it will always be there to comfort me,to tell me everything will be ok even if your sad.

 2-24-13,Sunday:

--Fuck yerrr,made it happen!.Finally it felt so relieving to be able to take action once agian.Damm was it hard and scary,but i did.i watched Tyler's "What to do if your a Hardcase Newbie" video before storming out.it got me pumped,gotta claw myself out,no excuse theres alot of oppurtunties so theres no choice but to go for it.So there i was back at the mall after yesterdays dissapointment,first went in JCP and at first i found myself wandering around,social pressure getting the best from me.i was like NO MORE!i'm tired of this shit.headed out and into New York&Company,no time to rationalize again.Saw a lady and i broke free not knowing what lies ahead.First Open.Yay!i was anxious & unable to relax,but i hanged on tight to my balls.Sloppy way of talking,i just said whatever poped in my head.i sounded nervous talking to "this" lady,feeling up that intense social pressure.My body was on fire,my head was on fire.i did it, the conv. lasted for 15 seconds.Victory! RAS saw chubby chick who works in there.pretty cute actually,i'll do her.i fucking head over to her and OPEN.stuff i said was on spot,pretty sloppy.i said how im looking for a pants for my mom.still tense & nervous gasping for some air even talking to this "fat chick",i did my best to talk slower and fucking RELAX and let go of the social anxiety.cool.she was keeping the conv. going.i'm  succeeded,Hooray! we talked for 30 seconds! i acted fast,glad i did.i didnt die,i was still alive.damm was i scared,but im pushing my comfort zone boy.this is good 4 U.Social Pressure= pathway to Unreactivity.

--@ Vans,i open some guy.said if he worked there& that my skaeboard is broken.he was just a customer.Anything counts,gotta get talkative+out of my head.4 second conv.then this girl who works there who still remembers me from last time came up to me .last time however,i was much CHiLL.in that moment,i couldnt be myself.as we got talking about my broken skatebaord,i was struggling to think straight,nervous,couldnt relax around her like last time.She probably sensed that i was being a little weird,i saw it in her eyes,i didnt care though.whheeewww.that conversation lasted for a minute.Awesome.no turning back now son,we gotta keep going.@ HotTopic,went for the first girl my eyes landed.saw cute nerdy girl.i approached her and told her if she works there.she just giggles.Done.left.i got the reference and approached.thats all that matters.4 second interaction.Saw a guy looking at shirts,i made a comment about the hairy animal headwers.yeah.down theres alot hairier and blacker.LOL!i'm talking,yeah,letting my RAS know whats up.

-- i Felt more outside my head,iwas warming up with every open/approach.im taking action.so @ Guess, spotted a hot girl in white tight jeans who works there.dammm her big O butt caught my attention.i wanted to approach her so bad,but she was talking to this nerdy chode though.that was the problem,i wasnt sure on how to AMOGed him.Walked around the store and left.after that i spended the next mintues walking around.went inside Macy's still unable to open those girls who work there,probably percieve higher value.i dont know why.i was about to head home already thinking thats enough for 2day.NO.1 last approach before going home.more action,so i go back in. Pacsun,girl with big juicy butt caught my attention,she was there shopping with someone else,i didnt see that afterwards.i think she had kids too.lol.2 liitle middle school kids watching me.i approach with some random opener about my back and how she looks that she hits hard.not the best interaction,i made myself do it though.she wasnt facing me mostly,just trying to be nice i think cuz she sensed i was nervous.Had no clue on what to say,i just vomitted words that werent making sense from out of nowhere.funny how i think about it.15 second conversation.damm was i terrible.the most tense & nervous moments in months.even as i left with that small victory,i guess smoke was comming out of my head from all that high pressure.i think i was about to loose my head.ppl saw me,i re-framed my thoughts.who cares i thought,I'm pushing my comfort zone.i'll get used to it.I'm doing th rite things,making those internal tweaks.i finally go home celebrating my WINS,feeling glad/proud that i took action. No matter how scary it may have been,i did it! Subnormal or not,You will be successful,but its all about taking action-Tyler Durden(RSD)

*Approaches; 5,2 hi's & little comments               
*Lessons/Things to work on; no time to waste approach right away! * keep pushing your C.Z,you wont die:reference expieriences * Trust in the process * Express emotional state
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THE JOURNEY:

http://www.rsdnation.com/node/359059 <---- Latest F.R/Journal
http://www.rsdnation.com/node/270908 <---- F.R from 2012
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#2
559Lakersd

559Lakersd

Senior Member

Join Date: 12/05/2012 | Posts: 184

3-2-13,Saturday;   --Back in Fresno,Ca to do some "mall game".its crazy how i havent steped a foot there since. Dec.16 2012.Fashion Fair Mall,as usuall was packed,so i knew there really was no time to get stuck in my head and fall into "spectator mode".Girls everywhere,most were in groups/sets.i go in the first shop to get myself talking & out of my head.i open some guy that works there,i sounded nervous/shy talking to him.i was looking for bruce lee posters supposely.probably thought i was gay.all i saw were dildoes and stuff.as im strolling around,cute girls everywhere,damit,struggling to do an approach.My opener for the entire day was about my skateboard,i couldnt think of anything else to say at that moment.I have this 1 minute conv. with this guy who works @ this shop.cool,i'm talking to some guys.Even that is challenging,since i'm clean & sober now,not used to it.Back when i had friends,i couldnt talk unless i was high on drugs or a little drunk,without it i'd be all quite/shy & approval seeking.i kicked with Cholos (at that time only ones i resonated with) ,and i just wantd some "respect",though i was the lamest,weakest one in my little clique.LOL!  ter that i was having a hard time.i went inside some shops.nothing.no opens or following the "3 second rule". only 2 whatsups,better than nothing.i havent felt "state" for soooo longgg.so i was better off expressing myself from my "out of state" filter.@ Zumies, i talked to some guy who looked kind of like P-ROD,haha.He works there,so i was talking about my broken skateboard.i tryed my best to think straight and TALK right.40 second conversation.I'm talking to pure guys and NO girls,yet.crazy.NoFear,i talked to the dude who works there about shirts.10 secs.thats stuntin.baby steping it.@ the JCP, i saw a 3 set of young looking girls,probably 16 or 17.i was walking a little to the side behind them.i made eye contact with cutest one.she had some pretty eyes.Fuck man,i could see it in her eyes that she wanted to get approached by me.BUT,i was too of a little to do so.i wanted a good outcome/result.Missed opportunity.who knows what could of happen.i ventured thru the outside shops,trying to make 1 last attempt an approach 1 girl.my RAS kept rationalizing,i couldnt do it.They were too hot or better than you was my excuse.i always get that one.
*Approaches;0
*Sucesses:Talked to 4 guys] --------------------------------------<<<< 3-3-13,Sunday: --Ok,so 30 seconds in at JCP,after using the restrooms, i see girl (7) shopping for clothes.i quickly go over & approach her.i open indirect.cus Indirect game is all i need (from Julien).i say to her that i'm lost and im looking for Macy's b/c thats where my familys @.We talk for 30 seconds.Damm! thats right,i got that 1st approach out of the way.yay4me.there were other girls around there watching me,i guess they wanted a peice of indirect game as well.Hollister,no approaches like i used to.i make a joke about the bottles to some guy near me.funny joke on liqour bottles for everybody.4 sec conversation.I'm talking,another step outside my head.as im touring around the place,i see the cute girls who work there.i didnt approach.i dont know why.they looked nice+approachable.i then sit down on the couches for a while.this lady & her kid is on the other couch.pussy,i then proceed to tell her what time it is & i leave.8second conversation.psyched. --i complimented this guys cool shirt,hes like thanks buddy i got them over there &bla bla.6 second interaction.sweet.HotTopic, i go in there,and there were quite a few girls in there,8's and 9's.fucking Approach Anxiety kicked in!!Fuck man, (cartmans voice),shes too hot with all that makeup.agian with that same lie?at NoFear,i go in and talk to the guy working their on the shirts.a shirt catches my attention & i make a joke about that.talking about Oscar De La Hoya being a cross dresser.i made him laugh.it was funny.chilled self amusement.40 second conversation.,what a champ.i got a new postive reference expierience,awesome.at a football shop i talk to the chick in their about the jackets.i make a joke on how its too big for me& i'll come back when i get fat.she laughs.10 sec. conv. fuck yeah another step foward.As i was leaving outside for some fresh air,there was this girl,i open the door for her.I should of said: " ok,now that'll be $5,i dont open doors for free you know." i said something else,why are you following now,its ok its normal,this happens all the time.shes like nuh uh & giggles.then she gets in her ride nearby,i then continue my path.kicking it by myself,yes err. --at Macy's,nothing.i always feel like the girls working their are higher value than me/too hot to talk to.agian,the same limiting beliefs.i gotta find a way to them.so anyways, i have a 8 sec. conv. with this girl(7.5) & then @ Lids i talk to the guy about some snapbacks for 8 sec.'s eurp yeurp,i thought that was it.Done bicthes.i got some small victories down & now i can smash home peacefully with my new references.Outside the parking lot saw this girl,we were walking in same path.i could of approach her,but there was some guys out there & i didnt want them to see me do it,so i didnt.Thats all fuckers,until next time.
*Suceses/people talked to; 5 girls( cold approached 1),and 4 guys = 9[/b] *Lessons/Things to work on; Go more indirect.its good for daygame.i dont always have to go Direct.Ask 4 directions,what time is it,etc.Fuck that self-image,let go. *Keep warming up& dont fucking TRY! * First 30 seconds in determines everything.Not following the rule & your Fucked!Same for 3 second rule. Express myself from the emotional state i find myself at the moment. * Fuck High criteria.Lower the fucking bar down for whats funny/makes you laugh.Remember,Everything is Funny.
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THE JOURNEY:

http://www.rsdnation.com/node/359059 <---- Latest F.R/Journal
http://www.rsdnation.com/node/270908 <---- F.R from 2012
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#3

Horse Life

Member

Join Date: 01/30/2013 | Posts: 97

Good stuff man. Don't be afraid to do little things like ask people for the time, or ask people for directions. When I'm in an anti-social mood sometimes I'll just go up to a random person and be like "How do you get to (this store)?". Helps me get over the initial barrier of talking to strangers
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#4
559Lakersd

559Lakersd

Senior Member

Join Date: 12/05/2012 | Posts: 184

3-9-13,Saturday:

---Nothing to report.0 approaches.Nothing.i FAILED.i went to 2 malls and didnt succeed.Somehow it seems like i sliped back.What happen to the reference expieriences i collected?i literrally spent the entire time wandering around like a little afraid to approach anybody.First i went to this mall where most of the stores went out of business and got owned by the other big malls,still a good hangout place for high schooler.as i was walking around i saw these social circle cliques hanging around, it doesnt make any sense.Somehow i feel like those LiTTLE KiDS are better than me.im 20 btw.i could of at least ask for the time,but my social anxiety didnt allow me.Couldnt put one foot foward towards their direction.i Saw a couple of girls that were alone (probably waiting for somebody),easy open right?i felt retarded for not having the courage to open up those little girls & ask for directions.Too much Outcome Dependence, i was worrying about what would happen & what could happen,and how my voice would sound as i try to talk.Stupid Self-image i created.

-- After that i left for another mall,the biggest one in the area.Same FUCKING SHiT!!i kept on rationalizing & failed to take some action.there was too much resistance to open my mouth.Feelings of not being "good enough",so why bother dressing up all good it doesnt change anything.i see cute chicks left and right,i feel afraid of them just by looking @ them.Its easy to watch porn or look at a fucking picture of a hot girl,yet i'm right behind them looking @ them right there and then,checking her out ,being scared of her butt as opposed to being motivated to go after it.i dont know if the effects of porn was fucking me up in some way,b/c the previous days i was doing a little experimenting and research about having Higher T levels.these bodybuilders adiviced to watch some porn b/c it has benefits.Compound movements are one of them,watching porn was another way and get that fucking erection without jacking off,SUPPOSELY.Looking @ naked women after months and months of giving it up,it didnt work,i think it just made it worse. After a while,i just GiVED UP and i called it Out's for the day.Having thoughts like why continue doing this,will i ever get better?,will i ever be normal?,no girl wants me (even low value girls;ugly girls,fat girls),Fuck this i'm going home.During my drive back i did my best to Re-Frame and not give in,still got home and thought about it.8 months into this with almost a 2 month forced rest period and im still struggling to rise,i dont know what to do anymore.still afraid of girls however.i'm going to take a break from RSDNation and let my mind recover some more.i'll Try my best to stop watching any more new free content and reading post on rsdn,it is pretty addictive but i''l try.When i first discovered pickup, i spended the first 5-6 months learning theory and checking my inbox EVERY SINGLE day and reading some more pickup material.Nonstop.Watching these videos on Body Language,Attarction Techniques & Conversation Tactics,how to give Orgasms,etc.Thinking that somehow the more i learn,the easier it will be to remeber and get better.Didnt take action.Even these Pickup Gurus were telling me to STUDY as much as possible first before going out.until it became a habit,thats what i did.My mind was INFESTED with Pick Up.Don't get me wrong,i'm not QUiTiNG My Journey,i'm just going to do it without Pick Up for a while and see what happens.i still remember back then when i hitted Rock Bottom and told myself i will Reach the Top or i will die trying, there is a better future for me,i will get myself back on my feet and be better than before,this is never going to happen agian no girl is going to treat me like that ever agian,i will find strength...[b]Peace.*Sucesses; 0[/size][/size]
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THE JOURNEY:

http://www.rsdnation.com/node/359059 <---- Latest F.R/Journal
http://www.rsdnation.com/node/270908 <---- F.R from 2012
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#5
559Lakersd

559Lakersd

Senior Member

Join Date: 12/05/2012 | Posts: 184

Watsup RSDN,im back for those reading my post.Good for you.Ok,so I'm gonna make these reports short.this shit takes me 2 hours to type.And i just finish posting my reports full detail,and somehow it all dissapeared.idk what happen but everything i typed got deleted somehow after 2 hours of typing this shit.And i didnt even finish  pressing the "post comment" button,fuck.great success stories but oh well.

 3-16-13:

 * Successes; 3 approaches/opens

 3-17-13:

 *Successes; Total of 12 ( 10 approaches/opens,2 hi's) { Best Successful day so far this year}

 3-23-13: 

 * Successes; 1 approach ( i fuck everything up by putting pressure on myself)

 3-24-13:

 Didnt feel like going out for some reason.Dont know why.Felt like the wierdness took me back,all i wanted to do was lay down and do nothing.i kept rethinking about stuff,feeling like that light up above was fading.felt depressed the enitre day,still aint nothing to how i used to be.i knew this was gonna pass,b/c im not like that anymore,its temporary.

 3-30-13:

 *Successes; 4 opens
 
 3-31-13:

 -- Nothing to report.Forgot it was Easter,the mall closed early i guess when i got there.

 4-6-13:

 * Successes; 1 open (Progress is  slowwwww)

 4-7-13: 

 *Succeses; Total of 8 (3 hi's;watsup's, 5 approches/ 1 open)
*Lessons; I'll post them next time,the main ones im working on.i'm out...PEACE \m/
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#6
559Lakersd

559Lakersd

Senior Member

Join Date: 12/05/2012 | Posts: 184

  Last FR i'll be posting,from now on i'm only gonna post when something is cracking up or do something out of it.As of right now however,i dont really think it necessary to type down the same stuff i do,since progress is slow.Until then...peace! \m/

 4-13-13:

 --- Arrived at the mall.i did my first approach of the day/week.i opened an old lady and ask her where this place was at.lol.she talked to me for 30 seconds long.After that,i didnt keep it going and ended up being stuck in my head overwhelmed by the enviroment.As i was walking around,it felt impossible to go up to a girl or someone in 3 seconds at that moment in time.LOL. i was literally shitiing myself walking around knowing i have to approach,but felt too much resistance & afraid.Like in Hollister,even when this girl (that works there obviously) "opened" me.she came to see if i needed help or something.it was hard to relax & calmed down,it almost felt like i wanted to cry & run away,even when she was nice to me.pretty girl,i talked to her for 10 seconds.Dam Do i SUCK SHiT!!! at least i talked to her,yay! Baby steps,rome wasnt build in a day neither were the great pyramids of giza.its funny seeing my little brother naturally getting GF's age 14,he's doing WAY better than i did at that age.i bet by the time he's my age,gonna be a big player fo sho'.

 --- Anyways,that's pretty much it for the mall.Didnt want to go home just like that.So i decided to do some street appraoches downtown main st.Good amount of ppl walking down there,i got there and parked.Sometimes its kind of deserted.wish i lived in l.a or hollywood where the streets are flooding.i felt less high pressure than the mall.so i was walking & saw this pretty asian girl (8) dolled up in a dress.i muster up the courage & said "whatsup" to her with good voice tonality.she looks down smiles and says hi too.Yay for me.haha.Then i say another "whatsup" to this guy posted outside. friendly and cool,unlike most dickheads.little things like that count  man,so im strolling around feeling happy.Saw a few sets hanging around,they were checking me out i think (HS girls).i was about to go in to ask for the time,but i saw some guy sets near by that were going to see me.Caring too much.A while later, i saw this bomb looking girl in a orange dress inside some shop.i go in to ask for directions cuase thats all that i could think of what to say.Girl had a (7's) face,but bomb body.didnt talk to her i actually was talking to this lady who was right there next to her.somehow i thought that girl was gonna say something,stupid me. make eye contact next time,so they know who your talking too,i thought in my head.Good 40 seconds of talking.Glad i did it,as i got to my car couldnt help but celebrate the small wins & laugh.XD it's getting a little easier laughing now,sinse i first started doing my 5 minutes a day Laughing Session.Forcing myself to laugh more & wash away the seriousness,heard that it was the best medicine.

 *Sucesses; 5 (2 approaches,1 open,2 whatsups)
 *Lessons/things to work on; *  RELAX!...Assume that you have value. *Work on the same stuff.You already know.

 4-14-13:

---As i was walking as i got to Fashion Fair Mall,i open this lady who was walking near me.i complimented her purse.nice 5 second conv. getting my mouth moving.Throught the day,Approach Anxiety was at is best.Felt impossible. And i havent busted a nut for 12 days.Supposely if you go 7+ days without it,it makes you approach more and blah blah.it's the same,nothing changes.The best result i got was at A&F (at the end of the day).i open pretty girl that works there.said if there were any camo shorts,then i made her laugh with a joke.i said,"my balls will fit in there no prob."haha.i talked to her for 30 seconds!

 *Sucesses; 5 (3 hi's/whatsups,2 approaches/opens)
 *Lessons/things to work on; Same Stuff

 

 
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#7
559Lakersd

559Lakersd

Senior Member

Join Date: 12/05/2012 | Posts: 184

its been a while,i got some meatballs ready to be served...yess urrr!

 5-4-13;Daygame @ Walmart:

 --- Since i didnt go out on Friday,i decided i'll do some daygame at noon,then i'll do some mallgame in the late evening.Walmart aint far at all,just the next town away,living in a rural area surrounded by fruit orchards,best place to go besides driving an 1 hour away to tha big city of Fresno.i was amazed b/c i sure did more than 1 approach there.i havent did that much like for months,i usually go in wandering around barely talking to 1 person,feeling weird to go walk up to someone in a Supermarket.i first head over to the grocery/food section,whats funny is that to my surprise I almost approached this girl with her baby that lives in the same town as me.She knows who i am b/c we used to go to school in the same bus,by now she probably knows about how i got heart broken by a 14 year old girl,i was 18 at the time.LOL.So anyways she dropped something on the floor,and her hair was in the way,so i couldnt see at first.then she got up & saw me walking pass her about to approach,i was thinking "oh shit,wrong turn here."i head over the next aile & see a worker stacking things into the food shelves.i go over to approach him & ask him where xyz is at?he doesnt know,wtf,i thought they were supposed to know where everything was at.then i walk off,i did my first approach ,yay for me i was thinking.
 --- My 2nd approach took place where the beers &alcholic beverage was at.i saw a cool looking guy there,so i go to approach him.i want to get used to approaching & talking to everyone,not just cute girls.but ugly girls,fat girls,old ladies,everyone,besides thats one of my ultimate goals anyways.To become that Fun,social guy with High Self-Esteem who doesnt judge anybody cuase of this or that.i was like, "ey bro you know where the proetin shakes are at.i need some in my sytem for packing sum muscle."he doesnt know supposely.i tell him,"but you sure do know where the booze is at,huh."he just smiles saying you already know,booze time" something like that.15 second conversation.that was good.
 --- As i'm walking i say Hi to a lady and then another Hi to this guy,they all said Hi too with a smile.I'm then walking near the sports equipment & fitness section when i happen to spot a white girl (maybe a 7)  by herself looking at some shit.i almost didnt go for it & just keep walking.Then in my mind,Willpower, you know whats the right thing to do.i turn back around taking a deep breath a little nervous (i calmed downed recently) & approach.She was quite shy,i said to her if she knows where theres muscle milk is at.She doesnt know.Then i teased her a bit saying ,"And i thought ,you girtls were supposed to know where all the nutritional stuff are at,cuase you shop alot."she smiles as i diffuse the awkardness. 10 second interaction then i left,feeling glad that i approached her.Most of the time i go to Walmart i just end up doing nothing,just looking at stuff and sometimes doing just 1 or 2 approaches on ocassions.Now i got more References,yay.
 --- While walking,i head over to the supplement/vitamin pill sections. there were 2 old ladies there.i open with a comment about the pills.Saying if they arent Steroids,theyre illegal & stuff like that.They turn out to be nice laughing & talked back to me.8 second conversation then i leave.I'm learning to stop scanning the enviroment & when the time comes you can go for it.its all in your head thinking ppl are watching you do approaches.Just stay present in the now,Dont seek Reactions. i dont get much negative thought loops anymore like i used to,its mostly my emotions.As Eckhart tolle says you are not your thoughts or emotions,just observe & do not judge.

 *Successes:4 approaches,2 hi's

  Later on in the evening...Mallgame in Fashion Fair Mall Fresno (ARRFF!Bulldog town)
 
 --- Arrived at the mall at around 7:00 PM.Beautiful evening to come out and take some action.First 30 seconds in, i enter Zoomies,i greet the guy standing there with whatsup,getting my mouth moving as opposed to being quiet & anti-social.i then see that one cool guy from a couple of months ago,that kind of looks like P-Rod the skateboarder.He tells me if i need any help,then we go over to look at the skateboards & we talk.i didnt expect anything,it was crazy how i talked to him for like 5 minutes!i remained being Congruent to whatever state i was in,not being a Try hard or Reaction Seeking.i didnt feel anxious around him like the last time.Maybe he was just in a good mood or something,but anyways who cares,i got talkative at least n shifting away outside my head.Most guys are dicks even when you just say hi to them,they dont reply,ignoring you.

--- As i ventured inside JCPenny,i saw 2 chubby girls then i approach them.Same indirect,asking for directions stuff,still counts man.That lasted for 8 seconds.I go into Hollister after that.First room there was a 3 set of very cute girls that worked there as i walked in.i just said Hi how are you girls doing.they reply back,wanting to talk i guess,cuase they looked receptive.At the very last second thats all i said & kept walking.IDK why,i was about to stay there to talk to them a little bit,then i just didnt.Fuck,i wanted to though.Then seconds later i saw this other cute blonde-e folding pants & approach her instead.Decided to take action rite there.i went indirect,asking where the guy Macy's was at even though i already know where its at haha.i was talking pretty soft,cause she couldnt hear me at first.i need to work on uping the volume in my voice.Brad's CC&M. i do have a pretty loud deep voice,just there it cant be executed.Conversation was 10 seconds long.As i left i said goodbye to those girls that were still there talking to each other.Fuck,the prettiest one was this tall pretty black chick,enough to remember about later  at home & FAPP Hard to.LOL :D

 --- I then go outside and i say Hi to this cute looking black chick posted outside a sports/hat shop.She said Hi too in a cute way ( high pitched Voice).Well after that...i can't remember.Fast Foward------> Forever21,i get there with same old same old,gettting fucked with by the enviroment.See some girls,nope,can't muster up some courage & feeling thick layer of Approach Anxiety.Soon as I'm heading towards the exit,about to leave, i see this very pretty white girl (9.5) just comming down from the escalators.i somehow manage to grab on hard to my nutts (knowing whats the right thing to do:Take Fucking Action!)Fuck letting another opp. slide by,fuck good results they will come,do it for the Reference Experience.i make my way towards her as she walks pass me.I open her indirectly.Funny how i was ridiculous on my open,ok there she was looking into my eyes,ready to hear what i had to say.i couldnt even talk right.Unable to form thos first words out of my mouth properly.i was trying to say,"excuse me,do you know where xyz is at?" Cat got my tongue.LOL.Didnt understand me,so i louder. then said,"what,i can't talk good or what.i said where is xyz at?Not being mean to you,just saying." i caught myself keep changing Facial expressions & mouth twitchiness,so i also got to handle that.Work on having a calmed,RELAXed  facial expression.Boom! Lesson Learned. 10 seconds that it lasted,physched b/c i choosed to take that action rather than make another excuse.

 --- As i exit,outside was a girl sitting by herself.waiting for somebody i guess,her BF maybe i thought in my head,so i keep walking & didnt open her.Plus nearby there was this young guy (a natural) who was there with some girls watching. A couple of minutes later, i go up to this nerdy looking guy sitting outside some shop.i ask for directions.Hardly talking to just nodding.i go back inside the mall & do some more walking.i reach the other side of the mall,then i pass by a mirror & get a glance of myself.Just something about me looks different.i looked more attractive somehow i thought looking back.Even caught other girls with their BF's checking me out,laying eyes on me as i was walking where theres traffic of ppl.They dont know i Suck Shit Though,ha.i then come across this girl with nice attractive body (facing backwards,couldnt see her face).Almost didnt approach then i said fuck it,one more approach,then i turn back around.She turns around,not what i expected.6.5 face asian girl.Got startled not intentionally,but she has a nice looking body in that dress.i'll still fuck her if i had a chance to,still gotta have some Game though.We talk for 9 seconds. My last stop was at Hot Topic,i was just looking at shirts.Guy comes up to me if i need help.Said a few words,fuck it,anything counts.Then i leave,fullfilled with what i did today yess urrr!..More small victories & reference experiences.35 more approaches to go for it to be 300.

 *Sucesses:11( 8/9 approaches,3 hi's)
 
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#8
559Lakersd

559Lakersd

Senior Member

Join Date: 12/05/2012 | Posts: 184

 5--5-13,Cinco De Mayo Festival:

 --- Some more daygame this time something a little different than what i normally do.This is the first time I go to a festival/event... SOLO.i dont go simply becuase theyre TOO many people.The last time i been to one was years ago with my parents.Theres not many large events or festivals occuring ,so i might as well go out to one and try.As i got downtown it was a scary view,soo many people & loud music.i tryed not project into the future and just remain in the Now.No turning back now ha.i parked my ride a couple of blocks away.Nervous & Shitting myself trying to relax i go try doing approaches right there in Burger King to loosen up.My first approach took place there outside.i open 2 ladies and told them if it was OK to park my car here& blah blah.They were pretty friendly they started doing some banter with me,wanting me to take them for a ride,then i told them to walk,nothing wrong with walking its fun.Good,i got talking for 30 seconds.
--- After coming out of the restrooms in Food4Less,i appraoch a black fat woman at the parking lot.i said the same thing as i did earlier.10 seconds of talking for me,at least i'm making some small shift's foward.0_0_______0
Then i took off to the festival,it took me 15 mintues to reach there.Walking thru ghetto part of town,homless,gangsters,drug addicts.Got there,finally,alot of girls for sure.Mostly everyone is with family & in groups,BF's,while i was there alone.Felt kind of weird,noone else does this.And if there are,theres not many, only naturals who have game,i saw a few though.i find my mind pouring down reasons why not to approach,so i go into this shop nearby & start taking any kind of action before i get ALL stifled up and Fall into "Spectator Mode".i ask directions to these hmong women to loosen up and to get out of my head.Couldnt think straight.i think they knew what i was up to,LULZ.
 --- Well after that my firends,lets just say i kept Bitching Out for the next following mintues.Nothing.Felt impossible to approach any girl.i kept walking around the entire time there like an iDiOT! Meanwhile everyone else was enjoying themselves,socializing & having fun being there,i was stuck in my head feeling Outcome Dependence & Approach Anxiety kicking in hard.Got Too overwhelmed by the enviroment so it was hard to take action at the moment in time.My main goal was to have fun today,but that didnt seem to be happening.Too much people & loud music,which i'm not used to yet.Props to myself for being there at least,expanding my C.Z & trying i thought to myself.

--- Finally, i saw 2 middle aged ladies.Couldnt think of ANYTHING TO fukin SAY,all that could come out of my mouth was asking for xyz shit.i told them where the mall is at,even if i already know.Then they told which ave. i should go,then they told a nearby older couple if they knew.So i talked to them instead.Wow, good way to kick off Cinco De Mayo...asking for directions.Duh! Then i left.Last approach i did. Even as i was making my way out of the festival,didnt bother to do anything.Walking back to my car,couldnt help but thinking about me wanting to stick my dick in a girls mouth all wet with saliva,feeling horny.LOL.No Fapping, i reminded myself,until i go 14 days then i'm allowed to.Oh well, at least i tryed,i still did some approaches today,all that i'm expecting for myself anyways.

 *Succeses: 4 approaches
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#9
559Lakersd

559Lakersd

Senior Member

Join Date: 12/05/2012 | Posts: 184

 5-10-13,Daygame @ Walmart:

 ---there were more girls than usual on friday.i did 2 approaches,then got A.A.

 5-11-13, Daygame @ Mall:

 --- i busted out 4 approaches.Got kind of upset,since its a big mall,i wanted a higher # of approaches.Walked around feeling approach anxiety,i stopped going up to ppl & wanted to approach girls now,it didnt happen.i then reminded myself the lesson, slow down,dont be picky,remember to talk to guys,old ladies,fat girls & unattractive ones,fuck trying to swing for the fences right away.

 5-12-13,Mallgame:

 --- Succeses; 9 Approaches (the most ive done this year in this small mall)

 --- Dam,i couldnt beleive it,normally i only do 2 approaches here, since theres not alot of ppl and then i end up in Spectator Mode and hit the Eject button.Sundays theres alot more people.[State Of Mind] At first i felt like somehow today wasnt going to get any success.I was thinking shit probably today i'm going to go home feeling like shit,going to get A.A & stuck in my head,might as well do some getting Blown-out on purpose excersises.Fuck that little Self-image,i'm going to do it so i can laugh at myself.i didnt expect anything to go down today.So i arrive at the mall,first 30 seconds in,i do my first approach,already feeling myself getting trapped in my head.i go into this shoe shop.i dont think or try since it's just warming up & stepping outside my head.i ask the 2 girls who were in there on where Gamestop is at.Then i complicate it & be a lil playful.i make them laugh with that little joke.Then i leave after 15 secs. of talking,then i was off.

 --- After that i was just walking around for a few minutes,struggling at first to just stay out of my head & take Sum FUKING ACTiON! For a moment i thought that i be going home with just 1 approach.After saying bye to the gay guy up at Pacsun,sounded all stifled,i then remembered, Throw Yourself iN A Situation Where Your Forced To Act,No Excuse.And Talk to Everybody,dont be a picky mofo,who just walks around "Looking" for attractive girls to approach.Nah.Wrong Mindset.i then head over to NY&C ,nervous at first.i go up to woman who works there.i tell her whats the cheapest clothes for moms.She then talks to me for a while about the prices.Good.Just get Fucking talking in any way you can without being a try hard.

--- As i'm looking at the clothes,i go for the open on these 2 ladies right away that were near me.No stopping to think about it,just doing it.i thought it would be funny to open with telling them if i look gay,just for the LULZ. i thought it was going to be an instant blow-out,but no,they were receptive.i then leave after about 15 seconds,i seemed to put them in a good mood.***it clicked to me,Laugh with strangers to difuse awkwardness or nervousness.*** without being Reaction-Seeking or Approval Seeking.

 --- As soon as i get out,i go for Forever21,staying present,NO thinking ahead or imaginating urself being there already when clearly your not.Simply observing whats in front of you.i chicken out sometimes,just cus its smaller & everyone can see you  approach.took me a while,then my eyes landed on this girl,i move in towards her right away.I couldnt see her thru all the clothes, just her black hair from behind so i didnt see her face.Yay for me for having the balls to do it.Turned out to be this pretty girl (a 9 to me).i said, Can i tell you something,do i look gay?over there there was this girl who assumed i was gay or something.Soon enough we get talking.it was crazy how i talked to her for 1 minute.i was talking with better Voice Tonality,slower pace & pausing.i had that penetrating Eye Contact,looking deep in her adorable eyes,without glancing away like a lil bitch.Awesome.i was unable to lock eyes like that with anybody,rewind back to 2 years ago.Xtemely Beta Male behaviors & submissiveness,even when i had a GF who liked me at first,i was unable to just hold eye contact without looking away out of reaction.haha,i think she thought i was HOT.i could see it in her eyes,attraction.i probably came to be her "type",this chick digs newbie guys like myself obviously.LOL (like how Julien says it).She's easily the finest girl i approached lately,havent approached a girl like this since months ago.HA, after all this being worried about ppl watching you B.S,i didnt even notice or cared if they saw me,shit.They sure dont give a fuck about me either.

 --- i left pysched with that new Reference Experience added to my belt.in a better headspace & Relaxing i go inside Aeropostle,and draw a fuking line towards blonde girl i see (7.5).i use the same opener.We talk for 1 minute,i say some funny things.Then i bounce since that was good enough,passed 5-10 sec. conversations,going to keep baby steppin it.As i'm walking i stop and do an approach at some glasses stand.i ask the girl there for some directions.agian i add in some playfulness into the soup.Self Amusing not Reaction-Seeking.15 secs of talking & i feel more out of my head and relaxing more with each approach.

 --- Next stop,i throw myself into this girly shop.i get there and approach first chicks there.it was a middle age black chick and some other curly hair woman.agian with the gay opener,trying to blow myself out on purpose.They were inot it,saying fuck whoever said that,you even have a girl on your shirt,so you cant be.i came with some good comebacks back there.They find it funny.Free Association exercise are paying off.I getting witty and creative.That Conv. was quite fun and lasted for 50 sec-60.

 --- My final stop was at JCPenny.i saw this chick & open her from behind.this chick wasnt having it,even better.Looking at me like WTF,your gay,LOL.then she said if i had Any friends?i was expecting her to walk away or something but all she said was, You shouldnt let that affect you and ppl this that,blah blah.i cant remember.Then i leave.as i'm walking i turn to look back,she was following me or something.With this cheezer on her face laughing to her self.Hmmm i'm hilirious i thought.LAst approach took place outside as i got out.i asked this popular looking guy for directions.

 *MAIN LESSONS/Things To Work On:
 -Remember I Suck Shit.Have NO Expectations.
- Talk 2 everybody.The cute looking girls can wait.Snap out of "Looking" for attractive girls to approach.No Mr. Picky.
- Fuck that Self-image.Do self-amusing things that are funny so you can learn to laugh at urself & not take things seriously.Do it 4 tha LULZ! E.G. running am i gay openers,get rejected,whatever.
- Laugh with people,Memeber to laugh with them,it diffuses uncomfortable feelings and loosens them up as well.
-Throw urself in a situation where your forced to act,No choice,No excuse.Without stopping to think about it,just doing it.Being Present,No thoughts,No thinking ahead or imaginating.Observing whats in front of you as opposed to scanning around.
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#10
559Lakersd

559Lakersd

Senior Member

Join Date: 12/05/2012 | Posts: 184

 5-14-13, Grocery Store Daygame:

 ---Succeses; 3 Approaches,1 open

 --- First day of the week out,i figured i out to do some grocery store approaches at WinCo Foods,now that I'm here in the big city.[State Of Mind} Of coarse i expected nothing cus i suck shit nor think ahead,just remained present in the NOW.Watched Juliens' recent video "Guys Who Get Laid Alot See It Like This;The Ultimate Postive Reframes" where he talks about how your perception is reality,which is something i been trying to hammer into my brain lately,along with the Self-Love.
 --- No scanning around,i did my first approach within the first 30 seconds in.i went up to this cute enough filipina girl & her mom.i ask them where the green tea was at.Girl got shy,not used to getting approached by sexy newbies like me,lol.so i talked to her mom.that was 10 secs. long.

 --- A few sec. fly by,i see this cute slender asian girl by herself looking at who knows wtf in the aisle up ahead.i approach right away (crazy,where was A.A at,lol) i ask her where's tea at agian.Girl thought i was hot,i could see it in her eyes.i made sure not to talk too loud,just neutral,since thats probably intimidating to her, common sense told me.she looked 15 or 16.Fuck yeah another 10 secs. of talking,then i leave thinking oh shit! its crazy to me how i just started approaching without feeling strong social anxiety.because i used to walk around, in spectator mode bitching out on opportunities,thinking its weird to approach in grocery stores,cus noone else does it.WTF!haha.

 --- Then onto the next aisle,i see a group of 3 girls.within 3 seconds i approach them.Same opener.Turns out to be this hot blonde MiLF,assuming those were her daughters.Reacted positively towards me.She even walked with me to show me where the teas were at.We get a little playful saying a couple of funny stuff,wasnt that funny,but the vibe behind it.15 secs of conversation.Awesome.Then i stayed there looking for the teas.i open this lady nearby saying that there must be a mistake i dont see any tea around here.She laughs saying it was right in front of me,silly me.Cool day, i got some more Reference Experiences of me Taking sum Action in grocery store.

*MAIN LESSONS/THINGS TO WORK ON;
- improve perception of reality
-approach within 3 seconds
-approaching girls is no big deal,not scary.theyre just girls.Just a girl.they're NOT above you or better than you.we're all equal.They actually view you,high value.they have no real power over you.it Doesn't exist,society has lyed to you.Fat,ugly,attractive,its all the same.
-No thinking,stay present
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