December 16th, 2018
David Deida - On How To Attract So Many Women You Will Have To Eliminate Them [Way too much value - MUST share]
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Join Date: 01/16/2013 | Posts: 104

As a disclaimer: these aren't my notes. They do, however, contain massive value. This is real talk and will bring you to a whole nother level of greatness if applied correctly. 

Here are detailed notes I took during one of David Deida’s seminars. For those who don’t know David Deida he is the author of the book The Way of the Superior Man. These notes are “money” for anyone wanting to become an actual man and not just a fake like many.



(Started with a yoga style warm up)

- Any desire is a form of insecurity

- If you’re looking to achieve something then you are insecure

- Relax into what you’ve always been. Then offer your true self as a gift.

- Your body is a resume to a woman

- Relaxed depth of being is most attractive to a woman

- First three times at anything you fail badly, though you might get lucky, then it’s less stressful after.

- You point to your heart to define you

- It’s in the moment, as you relax in that. That’s what everyone feels.

- You always attract someone as wounded as you’re putting out

- If you’re trying to achieve something, you are insecure, and you’ll attract someone as insecure.

- If you’re faking it, people will expect you to keep faking it.

- No one cares about you, except you, and you shouldn’t.

- Where your attention is is how people experience themselves.

- If you’re attentive on yourself, you’ll attract selfish women

- Mick Jagger is about the music, and giving it, not about him, not about his body, not about his aches, not about his age . . .

- Everyone wants a good show (happiness, love, etc.)

- Find out what you want, that when you die you’ll die complete.

i. What do you want to do before you die?

- Look at your friends and girlfriends, and that’s you

- You want a girl to see God through you

- You want the girl to worship you

- The 3rd step, stage of intimacy

The 3 Stages

1st stage – Dick suckers (do something wrong and she doesn’t suck your dick)
2nd stage – Fair (i.e. if you want me to suck your dick, you have to eat my – business relationship)
3rd stage – Neither mutual relationship; not fair. IT’S I WANT TO OPEN SOMEONE TO GOD TONIGHT. (GOD being divinity) And in return I accept nothing but pain. You should feel like Jesus on the cross. When you walk into the club you know you’ll experience pain eventually. It’s mutual, true worship. We all worship women.


- “Graduation Day”

i. Difference is between the girl before meeting you and the girl after meeting you.

- The part of you totally trustable is what you give to women during sex

- Note: Giving GOD without expectation (she won’t give you the kudos’ you deserve)

- Women are built to show you where you’re holding your fear.

- If you need her approval you are already attracting those low level moments

- Find out why you want to be with women.

- Play around -> Finding the right girl(s)

- Good sex is open and intense that if you ever see the woman again you just breathe . . .


- Be the awareness that is undiminished by the moments.i. 2 parts to a moment

1. You’re aware of this moment. You can see a chair; you’re not the chair. You are tired, but you’re not the tired. (Witness – I am here, not changing.)
2. Everything else – everything else except the witness (To be free of the pleasure and pain, during pleasure and pain)

- Your value as a MAN is your capacity to remain present no matter what happens.

- The capacity to remain present no matter if there is pleasure/pain

- Everything else that changes is the feminine

- Being here is the masculine

- That unflinching makes a man a man

- Fear doesn’t collapse them, them who are valuable in society

- Not fidget, collapse . . . that’s your value as a man.

- Feminine is move-ability and feminine value is ability to move

- We want a woman who gives you everything; LIFE.

- Masculine is that which does not move.

- Masculine = you
- Feminine = Everything else in the universe

My gift

- The sacrifice of myself for others

- When you’re fucking a girl what would you prefer in terms of value. A girl who is rigid and still, or a girl who is all over the place in pleasure?

- Guys drink to numb
- Women drink to express themselves

- Every fidget de-masculinizes you

- How much of your day do you want to here of her day, life, friends, etc?

- 3rd stage is making a relationship into an art form.

- In general, what kills a relationship is talking

Bomb Dropping Example
- A good warrior feels the bombs before they drop (i.e. fishing, you have to be sensitive to all the moments to catch the most fish. With picking up women, you have to be sensitive to any situation)

- Practice increased awareness by feeling the person on your left, on your right, people behind you. (i.e. Basketball players can pass to anyone on the court of their field sensitivity)

- David Deida said if he was a woman he wouldn’t date anyone in this room

- Any unconscious movement is bad

- All fidgets and movements make you unattractive

More Attractive

- Feel the space around you
- Sense your breathing

- To find out how much you trust someone think of the following. You have a huge business deal of all your life savings, would you trust that man?


- Do you trust yourself with someone’s life savings?

Women Are So Sensitive

- Keep feet straight
- Humour means presence

i. Think of a good joke, and a gun on your side ready to shoot anyone who gets in your way.

- You can learn to be the most trustable person in the world, but you have to be real.

- Women want to feel that your body is reflecting the real

- There is not better or worse men, there is better acting and worse acting men

- You get as much self-involved when you believe there are worse or better men.

- After your body goes you will know who you are

- You are always aware of the present, but how much are you expressing?

- Feel that you are dancing in your body, but you can kill the next person who gets in your way.

- It’s all a matter of being aware of the present moment.

- When you become more aware of your body you can express your glow.

- Laughter of human existence = slight smile

- Practice to real your glow.

- Guys awareness of presence changes, that’s why girls say, “I want this guy.” Then the next moment says, “I want this other guy.” That’s why girls don’t know what guy they want.

- Feel like your feet are rooted and feel that root


- For 5-10 Minutes a day stand in front of a mirror, big erect dick and feel like everyone/you is going to die in the next ten minutes and sing and you can kill the person who walks in the door

- Twitches are feedback. No twitches if you’re ON

- Twitches are feedback that you are losing it

- We’d all go insane if we didn’t live in self deception

- Our mortality is so frail that we deceive ourselves so we don’t go insane.

- Loosening up your ass makes you less of a tight ass.

- Why not just lay in our excrement and die? If you just eat and masturbate, what is it about eating and masturbation that are so great?

- Relationships are important for you to live out your fantasies

- Your purpose is to live out your fantasy everyday of your life

- We want to experience power every day

- 1st stage man

i. I want to dominate this woman so I can feel good about myself

- 3rd stage man

i. express your fantasy and use it as a portal

- You only ignore who you are when you say “If only . . .”

- Sex and violence is on television cause they don’t live it out

- Yogic way to use masturbatory fantasy

- Only when you are living on your edge will you feel alive

- If you get emotional by movie types, then you have to do that (i.e. fighting movie; then box or do martial arts)

- Masturbatory Fantasy

i. Submissive woman

1. cause were not well fucked

- The cure is to trace fantasy to the root

- We fuck each other with our gifts. If you hold in your gift they become demonic, and thus a fantasy

- Multiple women

i. Infinitely attractive, there fore consciousness is infinitely attraction

(i.e. just walk into a bar/club and be conscious of your whole body, as well as everyone around you. Walk into a club and feel the whole room. If someone says, “Hi.”, look at them with depth but be aware of everyone else)

- Breathe = Lots of women
- Depth = Monogamy

- 3rd stage – worship you but will cut your head off if you bullshit

- A woman’s role is to prevent you from your purpose

- Every moment is an excuse to give your gift or not.

- Fuck society, I have to give this gift.

- Girls don’t have interest in his books. His books mean a lot, and it’ll hurt, he may weep, but he doesn’t need mommy. There is a part of him so desperate for her to acknowledge what he does. He knows this and goes back to writing another book.

- If she’s a good woman she won’t support you.

- If you need support for your gift then it won’t be as artful.

- They will support you in the extreme moments

- As soon as you REALLY REALLY don’t need her support will you actually get it, and you’ll get it without it going to your ego.

- If you do something big in the world, the world will try to resist you. The measure of your capacity is your ability to bash it down.

- The world is a big woman

- A woman is a concentrated version of the world.

- Take any great human being and you’ll see that they have been beaten down. When you win this game you die, you smile as you exit.

- Women help the process, especially with one woman. And she’s giving you what the world will give you, but in concentrated form.

i. It may take the world ten years to shit on you, but a woman will do that more often, and you will learn to get up and move on.

- What she wants to feel is, “I know what I want to do, join me?”, NOT “I don’t know what to do, will you help me?”

- Wealthy men and extremely beautiful woman have an extreme disadvantage of being real.

- Men friends are important to keep you in line.

- No one cares about your past, they care about being real.

- How to learn not to give a shit?

i. It’s like eating food, your body shits out stuff not needed, but keeps the nutrients.
ii. EAT THE WORLD, if you do it fully you will take it all in and then you’ll discover what you need to do before you die.

- Men don’t learn from other people’s mistakes very well.

- Always take everything in and then decide what you need to do to die complete.


1. Why do you want to talk to her?

a. A positive thing would be you have a gift to give her that’ll benefit the world. The negative thing would be for superficial reasons.

- Most of the fear is what’s going to happen you

- In stage 3 you’ll give your gift and possibly get nothing in return.

- Go to a club and give your gift you everyone, some will accept, some will reject

- What ever she’s doing, take it in.

- Take it all in, and still give your gift. (it’s a test or telling you something)

- Women are geniuses at finding out what weakens you

- Note: If she keeps going on and on then she’s a nagging bitch.

- As teenagers we should learn to play

Football Example

- Say you’re playing football and you don’t know the rules. You get the ball, and everyone starts trying to tackle you and you say “Why are you trying to tackle me!?” WELL THAT’S THE GAME!

- You can connect to God without women (meditation/yoga), or through women.

- If she attacks your core and you tell her, “I love you”, it’ll unravel her.

- Women forget the moment

- If you can take fear away from sexual life you have more sex.

- Deida went from white clothed meditating pure type to Jack Daniels, steak eating, 5 women fucking for ten hours.

- Fucking around and not living about your fantasies relives the 60’s and results in what he have now, and that is not a good thing

- You don’t win life, you out grow life

- Yogic – dick is the root to your heart

- Every woman wants your soul, that communion.

- Look into her eyes, see her heart, breathe with her . . . and there is a point when breaths are in sync. Then invite her to touch you by feeling her touch you.

- 90% of game is synchronizing breath.

- Don’t go soft, RELAX into pure awareness

- Say “Hi!” from pure awareness.

4 Steps to Opening a Girl

1. Feel deepest purpose
2. Rest in deepest purpose
3. Find gift to give her and open her heart with your gift
4. Then say, “Hi!” in pure form.

- All women feel the negative and positive, they just don’t say it.

- Depth means relaxed, humourous, open, and free.

To Be More Masculine

- Know your purpose
- Breath deeply
- Root yourself
- Stop fidgeting

- It’s tough at first, and it takes effort, but after it’s easy cause you live it.

- During sex, that every moment you are disconnected from the moment you’ll get a negative response all the time

- “Uh”, looking down, fumbling is not masculine.

- Quality women are rejected from the beginning

- The heart adds something to the vocal tone.

i. Tone, no clamping down

1. fix the vocal tone by laughing (taking yourself too seriously)

- connect the hearts for adding something to the voice

- They can feel when you’re lying. They can feel more about you, then you can feel about you.

Enlightened Sex Manual

- He practices many hours a day by himself
- You’re responsible for how you affect others
- When you get really good you will find things about her that she doesn’t even know, and you have to step up to continue with the girl, so people don’t get hurt
- When you get good you don’t need to find someone, you have to eliminate them
- What do you have to give to a woman before you die?

i. Your gift

- If you went to a club and breath in three ways, fill the space with your consciousness, conscious of your entire body, and any body that comes near you, and giving your heart to everyone.
- You attract any woman that your attention is on (i.e. if you spend most of the time thinking about pleasure, you’ll attract pleasure. If you focus on your deepest gift you’ll attract women who want your deepest gift)
- What counts to women is not what you say, it’s how you say

- If your heart is disconnected from your purpose, your heart will be rated low on a scale of 0 to 10.

- Look at someone while saying it, and think of how you would say something to that person if you were with them.

- Women are about love and giving love.

- Women want to feel your whole body is into your purpose

- Slow down tempo so it’s like a dance to get them involved, NOT pushing it on them

- You claim the woman you want to claim and you make that claim known to them in delicious ways


- Stay present by counting your breaths 10 minutes a day, and if you are not conscious then slap yourself.

- More presence = more attractiveness

- Chatting brings you about in your head

- Find your deepest purpose and express it

- Attractiveness

i. So present you can fall asleep

1. show humour though also show that you could kill them if they get crazy

- When talking mix in humour, killing ability, and that you are better than others, that you could get any woman you’d want.

- Presence changes all the time

Best presence

- Feet parallel
- Relaxed jaw
- Breathing in belly
- Thinking you could have any woman
- That you are humourous though you could kill them
- Shoulders back
- Relaxed body/movement
- Relaxed face
- Gaze at the horizon

- When talking, talk direct, at a relaxed pace and the tone that you are better than them

Ways To Improve

- NO “I think . . .”
- NO “Uh”
- NO hesitation
- NO low, insecure
- NO in your head
- Think before you speak
- Relax
- Breath, focus on your breath as breath is life, and your life is most important
- No fighting
- Presence = attractiveness (be more present)

- When you’re tired is when you need to practice, that’s when you push yourself

- When tired do 10-15 minutes of breathing exercises

- Weight training and yoga are great mixes

- Stage 1 women go for guys who are rich cause they assume wealthy guys can get through life’s objectives.

- Stage 3 women, if she had a choice between a nonwealthy man in the present and a wealthy man in the present, she might choose wealthy, though you never know.


- You walk into a room and see an incredibly attractive woman, why are you attracted?

i. Light
ii. Radiance
iii. Life

- Women are valued based on Light, Radiance, & Life

- What makes you attractive is consciousness, presence and attention.

- She is NOT attracted to light, radiance, and life

- If you want a woman with light, radiance, life then you have to give consciousness, presence, and attention

- Money is sexy cause it’s an example of consciousness, presence, and attention

- Henry Kissinger was voted sexiest man of the year 5 times, and he’s ugly. It’s cause he has consciousness, presence, and attention

- Stage 1 women want $ and status
- Stage 2 women want humour, intellect
- Stage 3 women want consciousness, presence, attention in the purest form (fearless sensitivity that you are willing to take anything without flinching)

- Stage 1

i. Needy men try to make lots of money cause then they think people would like them (i.e. I need $, attentive women . . .)

- Stage 2

i. Dependence (I don’t need . . . )

- Stage 3

i. What can I give before I die?

- Good women want stage III, though they would go after a guy with all stages

- Maturity in a woman determines her stage #

- Nothing wrong with money, master it and move beyond money. Though you can be a monk, and not have a need for $.

- Stage 1
i. Art for attention
ii. Art for money
- Very few artists in stage 3

- The stages are a development

- Women mirror you, if you are a stage 1, she’ll lie to you, steal your money

- Light attracts consciousness

- If you’re in 3rd stage, you’ll induce 3rd stage in people

- It’s all our responsibility to be 3rd stage, every moment we’re not makes the world a dumber and darker place.

- It takes a woman one second to pick the most conscious/present/attentive man

- How you walk, talk, standing, breathing, looking at horizon

- Man can pick out most radiant girl within three seconds

- Life = Responsiveness

- If body doesn’t show depth of man, the tone of voice can

- Gum chewing turns stage III women off

- Genuine smile from heart gives you a 10

- Way predominately men and predominantly women people learn are completely different

- To Deida, everything is an exercise.

- Look into the persons left eye.

- Women doesn’t want you to practice on her, even if it is practice

- Feminine is the water, and masculine is the container. You’re the container, she’s the water. You direct the flow of the river, but she has the power. It’s your job to be the stage 3 container

- If she’s bitching

i. Stage 1 guy will just leave and come back later (i.e. have a beer and get back to her later)
ii. Stage 2 guy will listen but have attention on other things
iii. Stage 3 guy will do the following. She goes “Blah, Blah, Blah” and in your heart you find out how to open her to God, the mystery of life. (i.e. you might nod and then dance her around, and if she gets pissed say, “God, I love it when you’re angry”

- Don’t encourage a woman to be more feminine

- Relax her into amore feminine place than she’s at

- It’s NOT always true that a woman has to be more feminine to be more happy, they can add a little more masculine to their life


- Everyone has masculine/feminine in their body
- It’s up to you to take over the masculine.

- Anytime a woman is acting helpless she’s playing with you.

- You should play both masculine and feminine sides, if not you’re half a person

- A FREE MAN is someone who can have a bunch of sub personalities and not worry about them.

i. Stage 1 Man goes to many sub personalities
ii. Stage 3 Man doesn’t give in.

- You can’t serve someone else and find there self if you cant find your own.

- Instead of saying “Where do I go”, you say “hmmm, I have all these personalities, what gift do I have to give?”

Stage 3

- Giving gift regarding your depth through sub personalities. Gift through meditation. Gift through fucking.

- “Just roll with it”

- Give gift through sub personalities

- As any artist knows, it’s the flaw that makes the art

- Michael Jordan was not a balanced human being, he gave it through his kink

- Dance in the wound

- You give your pain through a gift to others

- Build and lose, build and lose, build and lose

- “Yea, I won’t even work with a business partner unless he’s been bankrupt twice.”

- Maturity is when you can be rejected and move on.

- You have to fail repeatedly to get the big success

- This bodily reaction of failure came from school and getting good grades


- The bigger game you play, the bigger your losses.

- All this is grounded in enlightenment

- Enlightenment is in this present moment, in light, consciousness, and fucking

- This moment

- Enlightenment is NOT knowing it intellectually it’s breathing it, living it. This moment. Yogic sex is one person giving life and one giving consciousness.

- You need friends so you don’t delude yourself

- When you’re ready a teacher will come

- Playing around with sex and drugs is like masturbation, and you need someone to get you out of it

- Sensitize yourself to internal, flow of light for masturbation

- We’re on a spiritual quest, through women, just take it further, and grow women to stage III by giving your gift.
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Join Date: 01/03/2012 | Posts: 69

 When I first read this through it seemed confusing, rambling and of little substance, but on the second read something clicked in my head.

Thanks for posting this.
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Senior Member

Join Date: 09/07/2012 | Posts: 274

Thanks, for myself I'm going to turn this into doc. or pdf.
My favorite belief:
I'm more than the best for myself.
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster And treat those two impostors just the same;
My original favorite lines:

I'm adoptiing you, my kids need a dog
Shhh! I love you, Shut up! I love you!
We are going to have two kids, get married, fly to Los Angeles, and at honeymoon I'm gonna cheat on you and take the kids for me.
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Blue x Light

Blue x Light

Respected Member

Join Date: 04/16/2008 | Posts: 520

 this is good stuff bruv. thanks for posting
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Senior Member

Join Date: 04/02/2008 | Posts: 227

 Wow. Gonna let this sink in for a while. Cheers for posting Cavebra
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Trusted Member

Join Date: 10/12/2009 | Posts: 1922

I just want to enjoy amazing girls. Crazy what sort of journey ive embarked on pursuing this quest.

My adventures in Dallas - 2013
 My adventures in Austin - 2012 
  Tyler/Julien, Honolulu Bootcamp July 2011 Tyler hotseat2 x5 (2011-2012) Alex hotseat x2 (2013)
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Respected Member

Join Date: 05/10/2012 | Posts: 362

Unrealistic self-help bullcrap.

"You are masculine; everything else is feminine" is a joke that's almost satirical because it's so absurd. I understand the whole men are supposed to be big black monolith-like structures connection he's trying to draw but breaking EVERYTHING down to masculine and feminine is hilarious.

Remaining "unflinching"  is as unhealthy as it is idealistic.

"If you're insecure, you'll attract someone insecure" - it's unfortunate that it's impossible to rid yourselves of insecurities then, isn't it? Not to mention everybody is insecure, so who exactly would you be attracting then? Yourself, in the mirror, jerking off? I haven't even mention that the hottest bitches are also ridiculously insecure about anything they have but their own looks - hence why qualifying was developed. Please feel free to take the fatties off the market for the rest of us then, or make an RSD post about mirror-masturbation like that guy who suggested dancing by yourself to White Snake while hugging yourself and reaffirming your existence softly.

"Mick Jagger is about the music" ARE YOU FOR REAL? The Rolling Stones' music has always been about their experiences! Mick Jagger sings about the following topics frequently: women - including heartaches and emotions - and his own experiences - which also often includes pain. Fine Mick Jagger loves his shit, almost every musician does, but saying his music isn't about him is SOOOOO FUNNY. I'm not even a Rolling Stones dick rider but I picked up a few of their albums a few weeks back to get on the hype train and have NO IDEA where you got the bs that Jagger doesn't sing about himself. Fucking LOL

Seriously. If people complain that the term alpha is used wrongly nowadays, then "masculine" is the new "alpha." Bitch, did I see you fidget? FEMININE SONNNN!!! Something taking you outta your zone kid? YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS YAHHH YOUR FEMININE NIGGAAAAAA. You drinkin' that tequila again brotha? GUESS WHAT GUYS DRINK TO FEEL LESS WHILE GIRLS DRINK TO EXPRESS THEMSELVES MOREE HAHAHA YOU GIRLY BOYYYY

I mean, he touches on some good points. There are observably masculine and feminine traits. But saying shit like unconscious reactions are bad will only make people feel worse because it's impossible for someone to be aware 100% of the time. Men have more power in society because status is something progressive with men, while for women it's more important to carry looks - something he could have explained but chose to go full retard by slathering everything he's saying with vague "don't move too much BUT FEEL FREE TO LAUGH IF YOU'RE FEELING STIFLED but don't worry about being stifled because a man should be a solid structure BUT LAUGHTER IS IMPORTANT STILL" contradicting points.
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Trusted Member

Join Date: 03/17/2008 | Posts: 1285

The overall message is right though the way its written is abit drastic. Perhaps u can write a cliffs note version.
  The game is designed for you to be exactly what you think you are. ~ Rosebudd Bitterdose Success is not something to be chased ...but something u attract by the Person you become ~ Joan. Rosenburg

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Join Date: 12/14/2012 | Posts: 90

 Damn I was feeling pretty shitty today and this made me realize I was just being a bitch.

thanks for posting
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Join Date: 04/21/2009 | Posts: 45

 - Any desire is a form of insecurity

- If you’re looking to achieve something then you are insecure

Can anyone expand on this?

On one hand, I get it
On the other, aren't males meant to push themselves to "achieve" their greatest selves and to achieve their desires?
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Respected Member

Join Date: 06/13/2009 | Posts: 587

 This is fucking rad - I've been reading a lot of David Deida lately and its just solid. 

I wish some of your notes had a little more elaboration. 
You ain't seen nothing yet.

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