THE FORUMS

December 6th, 2016
I, Hardcase #3: The Road to Recovery
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bigjew629

bigjew629

Trusted Member

Join Date: 04/08/2012 | Posts: 1582

Read the other two threads that I made before reading this one, or else none of this will make sense or at most it will make very little sense. This may be a little longer than the other two as I am going to compare Hardcases to regular noobs. The content in this thread is based off of my own experience, so keep that in mind.

The "wake up call:" Helpful for regular noobs, mandatory for hardcases
You heard that right. The ONLY way for a hardcase to even begin doing anything, they NEED a wake up call? What is a wake up call? Its an event that makes someone feel cornered into improving, its where they either take action or be doomed to fail forever. There are wake up calls for everything: getting good grades, getting a job, getting chicks. Since hardcases are so obsessed about feeling good emotions and doing anything they can do get said good emotions, they completely ignore everything around them. This has happened to me several times, and it is another thing that separates hardcases from everyone else. While everyone else is dealing with things at a "normal" pace (first jobs, dates, relationships in their late teens), a hardcase is struggling to not kill himself. Thats how it was like for me anyways. While most normal guys usually fail completely in ONE of either relationships, jobs or school by 25, the hardcase cannot even ATTEMPT any of them and it is not uncommon for them to be failing at all three by 25 or even 30. So they need a wake up call, to snap them into reality. To me this wake up call was my dad getting cancer, and eventually dying. As soon as my dad got cancer, I predicted that he would die in two years (he was working 70 hours a week, eating junk food and not staying active so it was only a matter of time). I didn't have a job and quit school so I could take care of him. I felt like I needed to at least show him that I could get a girlfriend so I could reassure him that I wasn't gonna die alone. But it also showed me that life does not last forever so I needed to solve the issue of finding women cuz he died a broken man, still hating my mother for divorcing him, and hating his co-workers (and pretty much anyone who wasn't middle eastern) for not being as miserable as he. THAT is when I realized that I needed to learn how to at least socialize with women, so that I could get a woman whenever I wanted. Trouble is I got obsessed with it to the point where I didn't care if I had a job or went to school. For the rest of that year and for about half of the next year, I pretty much lived with my mother and stepfather, living off my dad's trust and going out every day trying to master the fundamentals of socializing. Tyler/Owen said in one of his hardcase noob videos that the first 20-30 years they are a leaf in the wind. The wind STOPS when you get the wake up call IMO.

An open mind: The only way out for a hardcase
As long as a hardcase remains closed minded about things and stays in his safe little "Bubble of steel" (A term I created some six years ago when I was first learning this kind of stuff to describe what I used to be) he is guaranteed ZERO growth in ANY area. It is quite disturbing but predictable to see hardcases act the way they do, but it is also understandable. They NEED emotional stimulation, which unfortunately is often generated by getting bad responses from others, and also feeling negative emotions about things themselves. They are their own biggest fanboys, but show them someone who is doing worse than them and they will start to turn around. By PURE LUCK alone I was able to run into others who had WORSE problems than I did and was finally able to develop an open mind about others. For about 8 years now I have been seen as a "really good friend" by my buddies, and that is because I treat everyone I know on case-by-case basis, knowing that I don't know what is best for anyone because EVERYONE is different from me. Not better, not worse, DIFFERENT. The advice I give is usually "universally good" like make sure you are eating healthy, meditating if necessary, staying active, and so on and so forth. If I do give personal opinion I will let them know first, I will be like "this is just my opinion but I think..." before I give them my biased advice. Usually developing an open mind supplements the wake up call, but if a hardcase is lucky, it will not. I happened to have my mind open up about a year before I received my wake up call. Tyler/Owen says that most hardcases have to admit that they fail at life, but I say that is too dangerous for a hardcase. It is much better IMO to develop an open mind about things and realize that OTHER people have OTHER problems that may be WORSE than yours or even better, a problem that YOU do not have as a hardcase.

The REAL difference between a Hardcase and a regular noob (warning: LONG AS ALL GET OUT)
The difference between a hardcase and a regular noob is that the regular noob at least has an idea of where he wants to go with women. Maybe he wants the ability to meet any woman he wants so he can start a family or impress his friends or whatever. So he expects great things when he goes out and gets disappointed. This isn't much different from a hardcase, but to a hardcase the social pressure is much greater. Up until the age of 20 I had only gone on one date, and it was an instant date with a chick who was out of town who I scared away by calling her over 9000 times (think Jon Favreau's scene in "Swingers" lol). I was almost never seen with a chick, ppl thought I was gay. Part of my wake up call was that I overheard my dad talking to my mom on the phone worrying that I was gay. So I wanted to get with chicks to prove to my dad that I wasn't gay. But the REAL difference once again revolves around ego and emotions. Hardcases have giant egos, and they always need to be emotionally stimulated. This makes them VERY emotionally sensitive and reactive. Combine all that with social pressure and their whole MOOD will ride on how many ppl they impressed.

A regular noob is not patient with himself, but at least they know what they want. Maybe they have had sex once as a random hookup and they want it again. Or they had some random date and they want to repeat that effort. And they KNOW how to get there and they just want to get shot down less. They paint a picutre, a very vivid picture, of what they want and they try and jump in the picture and it doesn't work. But they shake it off and move forward and try again, or give up and look to their social circle. Hardcases are not only impatient, but the pictures they draw are not nearly as vivid. They just want A result, cuz if they were lucky enough to get a date or sex they have NO IDEA how they got there they just want it again but they don't want to get shot down ONCE. And even worse, social conditioning affects them even more, to the point where they are like I was where they are wondering if there is something wrong with them or if they are gay or not. I struggled with this for over five years. They try to jump in the picture, it doesn't work, but they DON'T move forward. They do not have a social circle to look to and if they do they are seen as "that guy" (I'll never forget there were like 5 chicks one of my High School buddies tried to hook me up with, and all five wanted NOTHING to do with me). After this, three things happen IMO.

1) They get their "wake up call" and decide to take massive action. This is what happened to me. Not sure if it is just coincedence that "The Game" was released right after my dad came back from his Chemo and radiation therapy (neither of which stopped the cancer only moved it). Then they OBSESS about it. Going out and hooking up with chicks was PRIORITY ONE back then. I went out as many as 5 times a week, often with my chode friends, convincing them that it was gonna be fun and I must have approached like 20 chicks a night. If I couldn't go out, I day gamed it like CRAZY. I went on probably 4 dates, 2 turning into short term relationships in the year that my dad returned from his therapy and his death. And before this I had only gone on two dates total.

2) They give up and drown in negativity (or deny that they have a problem) until their "wake up call." This is how I was until I learned that my dad was gonna die. I didn't care about chicks that much, I just wanted to bowl league, and go drinking with my buddies and sleep through class. I did approach chicks but only did that when I had lots of drinks in my system. And even then I did it just cuz I wanted to make sure that my buddies didn't think I was gay. But all that aside, I really hated women and thought that they liked using guys more than sex (cuz thats what my dad always told me).

3) They get their "wake up call" and give up anyways. Then they go here and bitch, they go to the loveshy boards and there, and their craving for attention ONLY GETS WORSE over time unless they start taking action. This isn't in relation to getting chicks either its anything that they are socially conditioned that they are "supposed" to be good at (like having a really good job, wife, awesome friends by 30). And if they haven't developed an open mind to resist the social conditioning by then...well, I don't want to go any further on that.

Knowledge of Self and Patience: The hardcase's Road to Recovery
This is VITAL for a hardcase. Tyler/Owen says that a hardcase needs to separate himself from everyone else in order to get results. I agree, but hardcases also need to have Knowledge of Self to the point where he can NOT feel lower than everyone else as well as be patient with his own success with women (or anything really). A hardcase NEEDS to know what EXACTLY sets him apart from everyone else. It is alright to compare to others, but only in an objective way. When you look around and see your peers who haven't been abused or had a broken home it should reassure you when you say "THEY are not ME, so their results are not relevant to mine." But you should also respect it as well. When you can do this and not get jelly and stuff you have Knowledge of Self. I look up to those who have more women, money and better grades than me and instead of saying that they are doing better because they haven't had it bad I say what can I do to get to their level. But I can still accept the fact that I am worse than them because I have the Hardcase Handicap. That is Knoweldge of Self, it is the thing that makes former hardcases a legit man of the people. As far as being patient goes, a hardcase needs to separate things when it comes to talking to chicks. Many say "oh avoid the friendzone" and that is true for those who are not hardcases. For hardcases it isn't a bad idea to get some female friends as long as that is determined right out of the gate and expectations can be mitigated. I have a couple female friends who are my therapists and I can talk to em about everything. Since hardcases are not only outcome dependent like everyone else, they are outcome reliant which means they rely on outcomes for self esteem. If they don't get attention they feel ignored more than anyone. So focusing on the fundamentals is even more relevant to a hardcase, and unlike other noobs, they kind of have to have outcomes attached. When I first started cold approach, I made very small goals for myself and "expected" myself to meet them. For a month it was "approach within 10 seconds of checking her out" then it was "have a lame-o convo" and I turned the expectations on me. And I was REALLY patient and gave myself A LOT of time (four years to be exact) to go from approach to make out/ask for a day 2. Hardcases HAVE to do this, regular noobs can get away with quickening the pace a little but if a hardcase only gives himself a year to go from approach to makeout/day 2 they will give up REALLY quickly. I have seen this happen in other hardcase friends of mine who I could not "bring back." It is not a pretty picture to see them give up on women and hating them. It is actually quite sad and disturbing.

I am aware that this was a bit longer than the other threads I made, but there was a lot of stuff I wanted to say about this for a long time. Sorry if it was unorganized but I was pressed for time kind of. I might redo this actually we will see.
__________________
I got mad knowledge of self. -Us3
Even though they all say that they're real I know that most aren't. -Eminem
Lament not your vanquished fantasy; its only destiny. -Bad Religion 
Stop trying to impress chicks. Stop trying to impress guys. Impress yourself for a change.
Be Greedy, not Needy.
There is no place for victims in this world.
If you don't like the idea of the deck being stacked against you, then grab your crotch and see if your balls are still there.
I don't usually pray, but when I do...it's for the extermination of Radical Feminists, MGTOW/MRAs/"Red Pill" people, and their blind followers.
I, Hardcase: Advice and analysis for anyone who considers themself a Hardcase Newbie:
Part 1 = http://www.rsdnation.com/node/291325/forum
Part 2 = http://www.rsdnation.com/node/292242/forum
Part 3 = http://www.rsdnation.com/node/293113/forum  
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#1

Little_Billy

Member

Join Date: 12/23/2012 | Posts: 43

Good post. It reminded me of a few things about myself.
To me the hard case is a guy that’s socially awkward, creepy, lazy, and typically a video-game player who's most consistent activity is masturbation. For me realizing that I'm a loser is a step in the right direction to change and become someone I like so that I can have enjoyable and healthy relationships. I've also noticed that me being a hardcase, I have a big ego, and a strong opinion which I'm quick to give. But of course I'm still being a ass and not talking to women. And of course still a virgin.

Now here comes the mental masturbation...

What do you think are the main differences between a hardcase newbie and a chode?
To me there seems like a lot of overlap. I'm still confused. If I peformed in a play with an audience of 100 people, that wouldn't be something typical of a hardcase newbie obviously. But I don't socialize and I'm awkard. I'll make strong eye contact with women running errands and they usually flirt back, and I won't say anything like a bitch. Now that I've been thinking about it I'm probably just a chode. This is confusing. Damn I'm retarded... I have a feeling that the hardcase newbie is more of a rarity than most people think. Then again I reached my mental masturbation quota.
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#2

AnyRoad

Junior Member

Join Date: 12/02/2012 | Posts: 20

Little_Billy wrote:
Good post. It reminded me of a few things about myself.
To me the hard case is a guy that’s socially awkward, creepy, lazy, and typically a video-game player who's most consistent activity is masturbation. For me realizing that I'm a loser is a step in the right direction to change and become someone I like so that I can have enjoyable and healthy relationships. I've also noticed that me being a hardcase, I have a big ego, and a strong opinion which I'm quick to give. But of course I'm still being a ass and not talking to women. And of course still a virgin.

Now here comes the mental masturbation...

What do you think are the main differences between a hardcase newbie and a chode?
To me there seems like a lot of overlap. I'm still confused. If I peformed in a play with an audience of 100 people, that wouldn't be something typical of a hardcase newbie obviously. But I don't socialize and I'm awkard. I'll make strong eye contact with women running errands and they usually flirt back, and I won't say anything like a bitch. Now that I've been thinking about it I'm probably just a chode. This is confusing. Damn I'm retarded... I have a feeling that the hardcase newbie is more of a rarity than most people think. Then again I reached my mental masturbation quota.



Hardcase = Socially avodant, few friends, spends most of his time alone in a state of overall self doubt.
Chode = could be pretty well rounded, goes to bars regularly, just has problems with not putting a girls on a pedastal.

BTW, great post OP. Just the type of thing I need to know there's someone who gets my situation.
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#3
bigjew629

bigjew629

Trusted Member

Join Date: 04/08/2012 | Posts: 1582

What do you think are the main differences between a hardcase newbie and a chode?
If I could sum it up in just a few sentences, regular chodes lead pretty normal lives and just suck with women cuz they have been socially conditioned to do very incongruent and "chode" things for women like impress them and buy them stuff with an ulterior motive. But aside from that they make a good living, have a decent family, and have friends too. Hardcases usually don't have the normal lives that regular chodes have. They are addicted to approval and attention because of it. If anything THAT is the ONE thing that separates a hardcase from everyone else.
__________________
I got mad knowledge of self. -Us3
Even though they all say that they're real I know that most aren't. -Eminem
Lament not your vanquished fantasy; its only destiny. -Bad Religion 
Stop trying to impress chicks. Stop trying to impress guys. Impress yourself for a change.
Be Greedy, not Needy.
There is no place for victims in this world.
If you don't like the idea of the deck being stacked against you, then grab your crotch and see if your balls are still there.
I don't usually pray, but when I do...it's for the extermination of Radical Feminists, MGTOW/MRAs/"Red Pill" people, and their blind followers.
I, Hardcase: Advice and analysis for anyone who considers themself a Hardcase Newbie:
Part 1 = http://www.rsdnation.com/node/291325/forum
Part 2 = http://www.rsdnation.com/node/292242/forum
Part 3 = http://www.rsdnation.com/node/293113/forum  
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#4

T4rzan

Respected Member

Join Date: 03/17/2012 | Posts: 417

Jay from the Inbetweeners does pretty much ALL the things you define as hard-case behaviours. He is addicted to approval, massive ego, tries to impress people with tall tales constantly and has no experience with women. AND he has an abusive dad.
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#5

mcpothead

Junior Member

Join Date: 12/19/2012 | Posts: 9

"It is not a pretty picture to see them give up on women and hating them. It is actually quite sad and disturbing."

This is me right now and I can't get out of it. 

I've tried to take action but I either don't or I do and fail horribly. 

Which turns into a visious circle of self hate and always make me lash out at people to seek attention :(

Do you have any tips for breaking this cycle?
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#6
bigjew629

bigjew629

Trusted Member

Join Date: 04/08/2012 | Posts: 1582

I've tried to take action but I either don't or I do and fail horribly.

Which turns into a visious circle of self hate and always make me lash out at people to seek attention :(

Do you have any tips for breaking this cycle?

I'm gonna address that in another thread that I will make about this subject tomorrow morning. 
__________________
I got mad knowledge of self. -Us3
Even though they all say that they're real I know that most aren't. -Eminem
Lament not your vanquished fantasy; its only destiny. -Bad Religion 
Stop trying to impress chicks. Stop trying to impress guys. Impress yourself for a change.
Be Greedy, not Needy.
There is no place for victims in this world.
If you don't like the idea of the deck being stacked against you, then grab your crotch and see if your balls are still there.
I don't usually pray, but when I do...it's for the extermination of Radical Feminists, MGTOW/MRAs/"Red Pill" people, and their blind followers.
I, Hardcase: Advice and analysis for anyone who considers themself a Hardcase Newbie:
Part 1 = http://www.rsdnation.com/node/291325/forum
Part 2 = http://www.rsdnation.com/node/292242/forum
Part 3 = http://www.rsdnation.com/node/293113/forum  
Login or register to post.
#7

mcpothead

Junior Member

Join Date: 12/19/2012 | Posts: 9

bigjew629 wrote:

I've tried to take action but I either don't or I do and fail horribly.

Which turns into a visious circle of self hate and always make me lash out at people to seek attention :(

Do you have any tips for breaking this cycle?

I'm gonna address that in another thread that I will make about this subject tomorrow morning. 
Thanks will keep my eyes peeled.
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#8

mcpothead

Junior Member

Join Date: 12/19/2012 | Posts: 9

bigjew629 wrote:

I've tried to take action but I either don't or I do and fail horribly.

Which turns into a visious circle of self hate and always make me lash out at people to seek attention :(

Do you have any tips for breaking this cycle?

I'm gonna address that in another thread that I will make about this subject tomorrow morning. 
Hey man did you make this topic ?
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#9
AustinCC

AustinCC

Respected Member

Join Date: 03/24/2011 | Posts: 566

 awesome threads dude, probably one of the best i've ever read on here. :)
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 "I talked to him for about 20 minutes cause he's in set all night long. Would have his babies tho." - Spike  
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#10

Pablinov

Senior Member

Join Date: 11/14/2010 | Posts: 257

 I  really enjoyed this thread man, thank you. I think I'm crawling my way out of this dark place slowly, I stopped watching tv, youtube, or anything that doesnt help me, and I started listening to inspirational audios. 
There are days where I wake up feeling as if I was 16 again, and some times I wake up and I feel suicidal, where each moment I'm in an enormous amount of pain.

I'm going to post a link, and I use this everyday and I go to the place where it hurts, ands in my experience so far it takes less effort to actually do what you need to do to get out of that dark place then "SITTING THERE AND BEATING YOUSELF UP OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN, And then fatasizing your results, and then beating youself over and over and over when really you're just sitting there watching a movie" When is it going to stop guys? when? just stop. just say no

http://www.empowernetwork.com/truestory3.php?id=pablinov
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