THE FORUMS

December 5th, 2016
I, Hardcase: A guide for hardcases, by a former hardcase #1
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bigjew629

bigjew629

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Join Date: 04/08/2012 | Posts: 1582

Warning: This post will be long and revealing (that didn't sound right lol)

So I have been seeing a lot of threads and posts on hardcase newbies and I feel like I can contribute something when it comes to discussing what hardcases probably go through and what they must do to get better with women. Although I cannot speak for all hardcases I can certainly speak for myself, having gone through lots of struggles in my childhood and adolescence (pretty much up until the age of 27 or so for me) that I imagine most other hardcases go through. So here goes. A lot of this is gonna sound like stuff you would read in Psychology or Sociology class but I digress lol. And if it sounds autobiographical that is because I kind of want it to. Easier for me to explain things that way.

What is a hardcase?

In his videos on the subject, Tyler/Owen describes it as someone who currently is depressed or has anxiety issues and so forth. Although that is a fairly accurate description, I feel like a more detailed list (Simlar to Foxworthy's "you might be a redneck if...") is in order. And I also feel like there has to be an origin somewhere that determines how a hardcase acts later on. So here is my rendition of sorts. You might be a hardcase if...

1. You were abused either verbally, physically, or sexually by anyone.
2. You were raised in a "broken home" with either only one parent, abusive parents, or NO parents.
3. You were a foster child who was taken from the parents at a young age
4. You have a physical, mental or emotional handicap they you believe makes you worse than others (ie: being crippled or having Social Anxiety Disorder)

That is all I can think of at the moment. Not saying that any of these traits automatically MAKE someone a hardcase, but IMO they certainly qualify as possible indicators. IMO #2 and #3 are pretty much relevant until the age of 18 or so, but all four are things that you need to accept and overcome. When someone who has one of those four things believes that they are defined by them and view it as a legitimate handicap, THAT is what crosses the line (how many times have we seen ppl on here say "I can't meet women cuz I have Aspergers?"). I was raised in a broken home with a woman hating single father from the age of 15. When I was 8, My second grade teacher slapped me in front of the whole class for going to the bathroom without asking for a hall pass, and there is another horrific thing that took place when I was 16 that was so bad that I do not feel comfortable saying it publicly out here. If you would like to know what is, PM me. And although I was not officially diagnosed with Aspergers, I carried most of the personality traits that those with Aspergers has, enough to diagnose me if necessary.

So I consider myself a hardcase and in retrospect it showed greatly until the age of 24 or so. I recently looked through my journal, which is something I kept on a daily basis in my High School years. What I found was shocking. I had wrote revenge fantasy after revenge fantasy after revenge fantasy. Me and a buddy of mine used to produce comics back then too, not to show to others as much as to amuse ourselves. I would write out scripts and he would draw. The storylines and characters I dreamt up were unbelieveably sickening. In one of them I actually had him draw me killing a high school crush of mine. He would throw out everything he drew years later, because he said that it wasn't "his best work." Years after that he confessed to me that they were just too disturbing for his tastes. It is quite clear to me where the foundations of these thoughts came from. They didn't necessarily come from my teacher hitting me although that may have had something to do with it. They came from my parents divorcing and then a year later, the other horrific thing that happened to me which I will not disclose. Those two events eventually molded me into an extremely negative person. From the ages of 16 to 24, I communicated chiefly through negativity. I would come up with catchphrases like "If you have something bad to say, say it to as many ppl as you can." And "I am good at only one thing, letting ppl down and scaring the crap out of em." Any other means of communicating was seen as either fake or approval seeking. I sought out attention whenever I could and if it wasn't for my overprotective father, I probably would have done worse.

Emotions: A hardcase's worst addiction

IMO emotion management is NOT easy for a hardcase, especially if they haven't gotten a "wake up call" yet (more on that later). Before the age of 24 when I got that wake up call, I thrived on emotions. I didn't feel alive if I wasn't mad or sad about something. I would pick shouting matches with my father over the most mundane things. I remember we got into a three hour shouting match once just because I misplaced a dinner fork with a dessert fork after washing the dishes. I would threaten to kill myself. I even cut a few times but it would be in places where no one could clearly see. All of this just to keep myself emotionally stimulated. I was like the "heel" in wrestling, which is a character designed to illicit bad responses from the fans. A lot of you are thinking "well thats just you being an adolescent, that is commonplace." But when that is ALL you want to do is to get bad responses from ppl that is a problem. I slept through High School and most of college, and would only do productive things if threatened by my father. That IMO is not being some normal lazy adolescent. It is because of this thirst for emotional stimulation that also gives hardcases like myself VERY addictive personalities. I have overcome both an alcohol and a gambling addiction, both of which were very debilitating. I'm only happy I didn't start doing hard drugs. So why was I like this? The answer lies in...

The never ending desire to be noticed: The Hardcase's mission statement

Humans in general love to compare themselves against others, it is the single biggest motivator ever. When we are doing "as good" as others, we feel reassured yet challenged. When we are doing "better" than others, we feel good. When we are doing "worse" than others, we feel threatened and inadequate. What determines "good" and "bad?" The current social situation of course. Combine this natural process we go through with the constant need to be emotionally stimulated, and you have the hardcase's thirst for being noticed. Attention seeking is what a hardcase does best and they need it like air and water. There were times, especially in High School where if I felt ignored, I would LITERALLY feel like I was dying. This is NOT normal; being pissy about it and bitching about it is normal. But crying uncontrollably about it for hours? Don't think so. Another thing, notice I didn't say the desire to BELONG. Hardcases don't feel like they have to belong they just want to be noticed. I did this by saying some REALLY disturbing things. After Columbine, I remember saying in one of my classes, "I don't know what everyone is so sad about, I just wish that kind of thing happened here." Yes those words came out of my mouth. And I got a polarizing response: Some were like "you are a monster, are you even human?" And others were like "you are the MAN!" Both responses gave me confidence, I remember being ecstatic walking home that day knowing that I was on ppl's radar. It earned me the name "Crazy J" ("J" of course being a shortened version of my real name). I actually became popular because those who knew me well knew that I had some short "bursts" or friendliness and support, but you had to deal with me bitching, complaining and making fun of everything around me for months on end in order to get there (if any of you have watched the TV show "Becker," that was me lol). Most of my high school friends can probably attest to this, many will say "oh yeah he is a dick but once you get to really know him, he isn't so bad." But even then I was still hiding my insecurities, from EVERYONE.

The bottomless Ditch under the rug: The "Hardcase Handicap"

Days after my 16th birthday, one of the worst things that could happen to someone happened to me. It took me SIX years to finally tell someone what happened. I still remember it to this day, I was working my lame-o but awesome security guard job, when one of my chick buds comes over to hang out with me. I wound up burying my head in her arms in tears telling her what happened to me. I would tell my other good friend (the one who drew comics before) in a more matter-of-factly way weeks after. When I got my wake up call I had realized that I had been running from the event for nearly a decade. IMO this is what kills most hardcases. They have some insecurity that they feel will them if they reveal it to anyone and they deny it for years and years. It doesn't have to be something traumatic like what happened to me, it can be anything. It can be getting bad grades, or going through your teens and 20s without having sex/dating, being from a broken home, anything that makes you feel like you rank underneath others or anything that you think "sets you apart." This what I call the "Hardcase Handicap." IMO THIS is what makes it so hard for hardcases to learn success with women, because as you deny certain things that happen to you it becomes what I call an "unstable truth." You know it is there, but you spend more energy denying it than you could in other endeavors and you don't even realize it until the "Wake up call" or worse, you NEVER realize it until it is too late. THIS is what prevented me from meeting chicks until my "wake up call." Why do I call it the "bottomless ditch under the rug?" Cuz you are shoving your problem under said rug. And the rug is bottomless cuz of all the effort you are putting out trying to shove your one big problem under it. There is no smell cuz its going straight down. But it prevents you from relating and connecting with ppl cuz whenever someone wants to know you, they fall right through the rug.

Hopefully anyone else who considers themself a hardcase can get something from this but even those who are not hardcases hopefully you can understand what goes on in our heads after reading this. Like I said this is based off of things that I went through that IMO made me a hardcase. Any other hardcases feel free to add to this. There is going to be a second and probably third part of this as well. Thank you all for reading this, and I wish all of you luck.
__________________
I got mad knowledge of self. -Us3
Even though they all say that they're real I know that most aren't. -Eminem
Lament not your vanquished fantasy; its only destiny. -Bad Religion 
Stop trying to impress chicks. Stop trying to impress guys. Impress yourself for a change.
Be Greedy, not Needy.
There is no place for victims in this world.
If you don't like the idea of the deck being stacked against you, then grab your crotch and see if your balls are still there.
I don't usually pray, but when I do...it's for the extermination of Radical Feminists, MGTOW/MRAs/"Red Pill" people, and their blind followers.
I, Hardcase: Advice and analysis for anyone who considers themself a Hardcase Newbie:
Part 1 = http://www.rsdnation.com/node/291325/forum
Part 2 = http://www.rsdnation.com/node/292242/forum
Part 3 = http://www.rsdnation.com/node/293113/forum  
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#1

hope

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Join Date: 10/18/2012 | Posts: 324

This is fucking great..THANK YOU:)
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#2
Lupino-

Lupino-

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Join Date: 03/15/2012 | Posts: 394

 The first time my classmates invited me out to drinks with them (after 2 years of knowing them) I planned and worried for 3 whole days thinking "This is my only shot at impressing them so they'll invite me again next time" - So I for one had a big desire to belong - but also a HUGE desire to be noticed - my ringtone was a huge scream from a horror movie - when my phone rang everyone got weirded out. hah, memories.
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#3

The.Rly.Nice.Guy

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Join Date: 10/27/2010 | Posts: 166

Wow this was great. Extremly accurate. Looking forward to the additions for this article. I'll definatly try to contribute.
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#4
dcampo3

dcampo3

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Join Date: 05/01/2012 | Posts: 1988

cool post dude. I guess im not a hardcase after all lol. Well.. i was just the fucking loser with girls because i was fat.. super low self steem.. never have had a girlfriend.. virgin.. and all that stupid shit. However.. i do see that it takes more than just balls to fucking come out of such a hard depressing mindset... and step it up to become better.
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#5
bigjew629

bigjew629

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Join Date: 04/08/2012 | Posts: 1582

I guess im not a hardcase after all lol. Well.. i was just the fucking loser with girls because i was fat.. super low self steem.. never have had a girlfriend.. virgin.. and all that stupid shit. However.. i do see that it takes more than just balls to fucking come out of such a hard depressing mindset...

There are those who like to claim that they are hardcases that just suck with women and just by learning a few fundamentals and get out of the house they can start pulling chicks left and right. If you are over 25 and never had dated before (not had sex cuz there are some uber religious ppl who have girlfriends and can get dates but choose not to have sex I think getting the day 2s that have the propensity of sex is more important) you could fit in with the hardcases because of the "hardcase handicap" that develops over time. And yea if you want to have sex and haven't gotten it by 25 that does kind of qualify someone as a hardcase for the same reason. Like I said anything that you feel makes you worse than the majority gives you that hardcase handicap. The longer it gets denyed the more of a handicap it becomes. Hardcases simply develop this handicap WAY earlier than 25+ year old virgins.
__________________
I got mad knowledge of self. -Us3
Even though they all say that they're real I know that most aren't. -Eminem
Lament not your vanquished fantasy; its only destiny. -Bad Religion 
Stop trying to impress chicks. Stop trying to impress guys. Impress yourself for a change.
Be Greedy, not Needy.
There is no place for victims in this world.
If you don't like the idea of the deck being stacked against you, then grab your crotch and see if your balls are still there.
I don't usually pray, but when I do...it's for the extermination of Radical Feminists, MGTOW/MRAs/"Red Pill" people, and their blind followers.
I, Hardcase: Advice and analysis for anyone who considers themself a Hardcase Newbie:
Part 1 = http://www.rsdnation.com/node/291325/forum
Part 2 = http://www.rsdnation.com/node/292242/forum
Part 3 = http://www.rsdnation.com/node/293113/forum  
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#6
dcampo3

dcampo3

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Join Date: 05/01/2012 | Posts: 1988

haha well.. i know there is no point in talking about whether im hardcase or not.. because it really does not matter at all you know haha but...
I did lived some disadvantage compared to everybody. I went to college when i was 16 (skipped like 3 years of high school..) .. i knew nothing about girls and weighted like a 190 pounds (5'6) .. i knew 0. Everybody was 20 when i got there. I was confused lol. My first approach back in the days was to a 23 year old cute chick.. and that shit went so bad.. that i decided to stay in my dorm studying. Made a 4,0 that semester.. till i discovered alcohol... which didnt change anything with women.. only got my grades down lol

Anyways... im not worried about my situation right now (never have seen a vagina in my life .. only in pornos lol) because i am taking action.. and i have faith im going to be really good at this one day.
bigjew629 wrote:
I guess im not a hardcase after all lol. Well.. i was just the fucking loser with girls because i was fat.. super low self steem.. never have had a girlfriend.. virgin.. and all that stupid shit. However.. i do see that it takes more than just balls to fucking come out of such a hard depressing mindset...

There are those who like to claim that they are hardcases that just suck with women and just by learning a few fundamentals and get out of the house they can start pulling chicks left and right. If you are over 25 and never had dated before (not had sex cuz there are some uber religious ppl who have girlfriends and can get dates but choose not to have sex I think getting the day 2s that have the propensity of sex is more important) you could fit in with the hardcases because of the "hardcase handicap" that develops over time. And yea if you want to have sex and haven't gotten it by 25 that does kind of qualify someone as a hardcase for the same reason. Like I said anything that you feel makes you worse than the majority gives you that hardcase handicap. The longer it gets denyed the more of a handicap it becomes. Hardcases simply develop this handicap WAY earlier than 25+ year old virgins.
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#7

Free style

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Join Date: 07/21/2012 | Posts: 588

For real dcampo? U a virgin?
dcampo3 wrote:
haha well.. i know there is no point in talking about whether im hardcase or not.. because it really does not matter at all you know haha but...
I did lived some disadvantage compared to everybody. I went to college when i was 16 (skipped like 3 years of high school..) .. i knew nothing about girls and weighted like a 190 pounds (5'6) .. i knew 0. Everybody was 20 when i got there. I was confused lol. My first approach back in the days was to a 23 year old cute chick.. and that shit went so bad.. that i decided to stay in my dorm studying. Made a 4,0 that semester.. till i discovered alcohol... which didnt change anything with women.. only got my grades down lol

Anyways... im not worried about my situation right now (never have seen a vagina in my life .. only in pornos lol) because i am taking action.. and i have faith im going to be really good at this one day.
bigjew629 wrote:
I guess im not a hardcase after all lol. Well.. i was just the fucking loser with girls because i was fat.. super low self steem.. never have had a girlfriend.. virgin.. and all that stupid shit. However.. i do see that it takes more than just balls to fucking come out of such a hard depressing mindset...

There are those who like to claim that they are hardcases that just suck with women and just by learning a few fundamentals and get out of the house they can start pulling chicks left and right. If you are over 25 and never had dated before (not had sex cuz there are some uber religious ppl who have girlfriends and can get dates but choose not to have sex I think getting the day 2s that have the propensity of sex is more important) you could fit in with the hardcases because of the "hardcase handicap" that develops over time. And yea if you want to have sex and haven't gotten it by 25 that does kind of qualify someone as a hardcase for the same reason. Like I said anything that you feel makes you worse than the majority gives you that hardcase handicap. The longer it gets denyed the more of a handicap it becomes. Hardcases simply develop this handicap WAY earlier than 25+ year old virgins.

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#8

Elamanopiskelija

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Join Date: 11/08/2011 | Posts: 485

bigjew629 wrote:

1. You were abused either verbally, physically, or sexually by anyone.
2. You were raised in a "broken home" with either only one parent, abusive parents, or NO parents.
3. You were a foster child who was taken from the parents at a young age

I just feel the need to demistify everything I read xD
- I personally know since childhood 3 cases that I can think of, that qualify without a doubt in categories 2 and 3 (category 1 is difficult to know so who knows and who cares). There is nothing wrong with any of the three of them at the moment, overall, and with women the three of them are from quite good to awesome.
- In general, I would say that these two points 2 and 3 force the kid to be more self-dependent at a young age, which maybe sucks in childhood but is a very attractive trait.
- The "hard cases" I have known so far tend to be very accomodated guys, with most problems solved, no big challenges and no exciting lives at all.
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#9
dcampo3

dcampo3

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Join Date: 05/01/2012 | Posts: 1988

dont hate on me bro :P
Free style wrote:
For real dcampo? U a virgin?
dcampo3 wrote:
haha well.. i know there is no point in talking about whether im hardcase or not.. because it really does not matter at all you know haha but...
I did lived some disadvantage compared to everybody. I went to college when i was 16 (skipped like 3 years of high school..) .. i knew nothing about girls and weighted like a 190 pounds (5'6) .. i knew 0. Everybody was 20 when i got there. I was confused lol. My first approach back in the days was to a 23 year old cute chick.. and that shit went so bad.. that i decided to stay in my dorm studying. Made a 4,0 that semester.. till i discovered alcohol... which didnt change anything with women.. only got my grades down lol

Anyways... im not worried about my situation right now (never have seen a vagina in my life .. only in pornos lol) because i am taking action.. and i have faith im going to be really good at this one day.
bigjew629 wrote:
I guess im not a hardcase after all lol. Well.. i was just the fucking loser with girls because i was fat.. super low self steem.. never have had a girlfriend.. virgin.. and all that stupid shit. However.. i do see that it takes more than just balls to fucking come out of such a hard depressing mindset...

There are those who like to claim that they are hardcases that just suck with women and just by learning a few fundamentals and get out of the house they can start pulling chicks left and right. If you are over 25 and never had dated before (not had sex cuz there are some uber religious ppl who have girlfriends and can get dates but choose not to have sex I think getting the day 2s that have the propensity of sex is more important) you could fit in with the hardcases because of the "hardcase handicap" that develops over time. And yea if you want to have sex and haven't gotten it by 25 that does kind of qualify someone as a hardcase for the same reason. Like I said anything that you feel makes you worse than the majority gives you that hardcase handicap. The longer it gets denyed the more of a handicap it becomes. Hardcases simply develop this handicap WAY earlier than 25+ year old virgins.


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#10

Free style

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Join Date: 07/21/2012 | Posts: 588

No worries bro. I want you to get some pussy. It feels really good. You will like it. It seeeeems like you're working at it, so it's bound to come soon.
dcampo3 wrote:
dont hate on me bro :P
Free style wrote:
For real dcampo? U a virgin?
dcampo3 wrote:
haha well.. i know there is no point in talking about whether im hardcase or not.. because it really does not matter at all you know haha but...
I did lived some disadvantage compared to everybody. I went to college when i was 16 (skipped like 3 years of high school..) .. i knew nothing about girls and weighted like a 190 pounds (5'6) .. i knew 0. Everybody was 20 when i got there. I was confused lol. My first approach back in the days was to a 23 year old cute chick.. and that shit went so bad.. that i decided to stay in my dorm studying. Made a 4,0 that semester.. till i discovered alcohol... which didnt change anything with women.. only got my grades down lol

Anyways... im not worried about my situation right now (never have seen a vagina in my life .. only in pornos lol) because i am taking action.. and i have faith im going to be really good at this one day.
bigjew629 wrote:
I guess im not a hardcase after all lol. Well.. i was just the fucking loser with girls because i was fat.. super low self steem.. never have had a girlfriend.. virgin.. and all that stupid shit. However.. i do see that it takes more than just balls to fucking come out of such a hard depressing mindset...

There are those who like to claim that they are hardcases that just suck with women and just by learning a few fundamentals and get out of the house they can start pulling chicks left and right. If you are over 25 and never had dated before (not had sex cuz there are some uber religious ppl who have girlfriends and can get dates but choose not to have sex I think getting the day 2s that have the propensity of sex is more important) you could fit in with the hardcases because of the "hardcase handicap" that develops over time. And yea if you want to have sex and haven't gotten it by 25 that does kind of qualify someone as a hardcase for the same reason. Like I said anything that you feel makes you worse than the majority gives you that hardcase handicap. The longer it gets denyed the more of a handicap it becomes. Hardcases simply develop this handicap WAY earlier than 25+ year old virgins.



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