THE FORUMS

December 10th, 2016
Rising from Ashes FR: The Beginning
Your rating: None Average: 2.5 (2 votes)
Bookmark and Share
 
559Lakersd

559Lakersd

Senior Member

Join Date: 12/05/2012 | Posts: 184

 ***Aight.Hello RSDN. This is my first field report on RSDN.i Write most of my FR's down on my journal,diary,notebook,whatever you want to call it from my 5 months in pua. As of Now, i am 20 year old hispanic male,duh! Living in the Fruit Basket of California.  Since discovering this pickup and self development stuff back in August 2011, i spended most of the time Mental Masturbating,trying to know it all before i leave. i thought i had to study alot before going out to apply this stuff. Infesting my mind with PickUp. Went through Depression,Severe S.A,Substance Abuse (Almost killed myself) and being at my lowest & darkest periods in life,(took pres. meds. for my Depression, didnt know there were other ways at the time.) Still Not Cured However.I'm  still tackling  the ROOT Causes.it could still find its way back to me if i dont keep moving foward. Been Sober&Drug Free for a year NOW. i owe it to myself. i'v identifyed whats up, and it makes sense.Trying to Get out of Isolation Along with Social Anxiety,still fighting that. From Tyler's Description, i Am the Hardcase. What drove me to this starting out, was that Awful Break-up.GF of not even 2 months dumped the shit out of me. She was my main Happiness. After that, one by one everything started to fall to peices. i became worse than before. Went back to isolating myself like before, just when i thought i FiNALLY  got something going in my life. Spended my time playing video games like i always have growing up,while everyone was out with friends working on their Social Skills and all that. First started to get out in Dec. 2011. Taking some short walks around town.Then going out with mom and dad to the store or the mall.LOL. Attempting to open & talk to some ppl. My first few opens were asking mall/store workers for any sales or wheres xyz at. Scary ass fuck! But i did it.I wasnt going out much b/c at that time i didnt have No car or drived yet. However, At night school i tryed to become social and come back into the world. Socialized with a few ppl that i knew obviously,talked to a few girls & got 1 Phone # from this Fun Fat girl. First Phone # from a stranger girl...i text her a few times and that was it. Never heard from her agian hahaha. I remember trying to apply this conversation tactic B.S. Wasnt working. i was trying to be like some dancing monkey trying to say this line or this to make the girl me.the Results came in Jan. 2012, i finally got my H.S diploma.So No New Friends, failed to make buddies,back to More Mental Masturbation for like 3 months.Until i found about RSD in late spring 2012. Thats when everything changed for the better.Along with Eckhart Tolle i wanted to learn how to become Present To The Moment. Droped all the other PUA b.s tricks  and found myself VERY interested in being "Natural". i was captivated by the awesome man,Tyler Durden. i thought he was crazy and badass! The start of something new,Journey initiated...

12-7-12

Friday evening,first day of the week out i decided to head over to the supermarket to do some grocery store "game".i took my sisters out too,while there busy shopping for food,im "trying" to get started.A.A strucking. i always found trying to talk to ppl in this enviroment "weird",like what kind of person would approach someone while theyre out buying tampons or applejacks cereal?Yeup,the usual.i find my self wandering around the store in my head,not talking to a single person YET.Mostly everybody's out with their family's and theres hardly any chicks in my birdview,just single mothers.Shit happens.Im all STIFLED, cant even open my mouth and say at least a "Hi".LOL. thats me alright.so the end result,SUCKY ass night.NO approaches no nothing.however i remained being optimistic about the upcoming days.first day out, it happens,at least i showed up.things will get better next time.

12-8-12

OK, it's saturday. it looked like a great day to do some "mallgame",now that the sun was shining and the rainy days came to a stop.I workout for 30 mintues,i did 25 mintues of meditation before i smashed out.i get there,fuck i desperatley needed to take a piss,so i go into Target.A shitload of ppl in that store as opposed to yesterday.at the electronic section, i see a "7" with her mom,and i just comment about some shit there,they laugh.Then i start saying "hi" to ppl. they reciprocate.im feeling good for at least opening my fkn mouth and doing something.something is always better than nothing at ALL.i talk with this one lady at the line for about 8 seconds about some new movie,and im off to the mall next door.pretty small mall,but fuck it man im here to hustle.

first 5 minutes there im struggling to approach anybody.Can't think of what to say.i go into this weird shop where they sell swords,knife colection, and buudist stuff.i see this one fat "7" chick standing there,i open her up saying something like,"whats a innocent looking girl like yourself doing here looking for knifes?you llok like you wouldnt even kill a fly."she giggles and she start talking.we talk for 1 minute,then i leave.in my mind im like,"YESS!" at this point anything counts.Next i spot this chubby blonde sitting near some calender stand,i hesisitate to open,cause theres ppl like right there.that wasnt the case 2 weeks ago,i fkn killed it back then.had a 5 mintue conversation with this "7" in the same spot and actually felt a little "normal"  dont know wtf happen,why im hesistating now.as im walking i was gonna merge into "victoria secret",but remembered what happened there last time so i didnt go in there to take some action.

probaby cause of some chick that works there is gonna recognize me from last time and call the securities on my buttmunch sorry ass. Same thing with this other girl clothing store,i ddint want to go inside there cause i fucked up hard last time,plus that girl always works there.probably told the other girls there about me.even though that store is full with bomb chicks i skipped it and contiue on my path to ??? LAME!...from a distance i see this "8" walking towards me.as we get closer making eye contact im like "whatsup",shes like "heyy,whatsup".Fuck man, i could tell she wanted me to walk with her.probably the finest girl ive ran into that day.she was with her firend though.i then made my way outside to where the movie theathes at.hardly anybody there so i turn around and go back to the way i came.to my surprise that "8" and her friend also came out to get some fresh air.in my mind im like,"fuck man,this is your chance,go up and hit up that bby doll".

theyre all giggling,and they sat down on some bleches just looking at me,waiting for me to make my move on them.this was it.My mind went blank at that moment.couldnt think of what to say to her.i felt that OUTCOME DEPENDENCE.GONE!i didnt go for it.FKN PUSSY!i just kept walking didnt even turn back to look at them.i was like"fuck fuck fuck!!!"i guess i wanted it to go well and i was afraid that i was gonna fuck it up.even before that,i slipped into my head,played this little projection into the future,seeing all the things that could go wrong in 4 seconds.and i didnt take action. regardless of what happen, i just kept going. i see this one "7", and i turn around to see thos same chicks. i was like," are they following me?"BOOM! i used that as my opener.i told that girl to protect me from some crazy girls that are following me around the mall and stuff.

i start walking with her and we banter a bit.i start touching her too.she just giggles.prety playful interaction i think it lasted for 2-3 mintues, i just got sucked into the moment.finally i saw my exit,i was like," ok, it was nice talking to you.you make a great body gurad,them other girls dont stand a chance." and i said "bye to her.done.i jogged out the mall with this happy feeling. "i Took action",Yay!" thats all expected for myself,im just happy with ANY little victory that i get.i get into my car and bounce feeling all GEWD.Next stop,Downtown.it was night already,so i figured out i do some street approaches broe i smash home.so im walking,enjoying the night christmas lights and focusing on my breathe,looking up at the tall buildings.

there was some kind of banquet event or wedding happening.the doorman open the door and said if i like to come in.i look in there, and see rich ppl,high value girls (10's) in there.i pussied out and said i would like to but right now im on my way to meet "someobody".Even just looking at those hot girls putted me inside my head.noonne in the streets just beggers,drug addicts,and couples walking.i walk for an hour. and nothing.i guess everbody was inside their warm houses getting ready for the paquio vs marquez fight.it was getting cold so i smash home.

12-9-12

next day.i was going to go out but it was my aunts b-day, she doesnt have a ride to pick her up and drop her back to her place,so i just spent my sunday with family...thats all folks!-Bugs Bunny

 12-15-12...12-16-12:  --Posted a thread about it.  http://www.rsdnation.com/node/284627
__________________
THE JOURNEY:

http://www.rsdnation.com/node/359059 <---- Latest F.R/Journal
http://www.rsdnation.com/node/270908 <---- F.R from 2012
Login or register to post.
#1
559Lakersd

559Lakersd

Senior Member

Join Date: 12/05/2012 | Posts: 184

 Here's this FR i decided to share about me when i was getting momentum and at my best (Taking alot of action).This is back in 2012 where i was progressing alot.Never in my life did i think i could pull this out,used to be so out of my reality.i was so psyched as ever during this phase.

 11-18-12:  

--- As soon as i get to tha mall,i see this "9"  blonde chick all dolled up in her dress.I'm like "whatsup" with a good voice.she shy just smiles.lol.i say another hi to this cute girl who works at Macy's,im kool with just doing that.For me anything counts.i then go inside Nofear,and start talking to the guys working there.i start saying funny things,and expressing myself,being self amusing.Something i had a very hard time doing around my old friends if i wasnt intoxicated or high from tweaks and cocaine.that conversation lasted about 3 minutes,it putted me into a good talkaive mood,and unstifling.Just as i exited saw this hot ass filipina gurl walking  rite thurr,dressed up all sexy with high heels.As soon as i saw her i jogged over to approach her.i start walking with her(i cant remember what i was saying).4 seconds in.weahhhhh!! i get blown out and walks away from me all fast.deep inside im cracking up,probably her cat died or something.i keep moving.

 --- i see these little girls (age 14 maybe) i flash a smile and say whatsup to them.they reply wanting me to stay to talk to them.Then at the Footlocker,i see this tall as guy and i open him up and talk to him.cool 15 second conv..im feeling pretty good inside going around doing whatever.As im walking i see this 2 pretty ass chicks (easy 8.5's,ones a little chubby,but she still hot) walking towards me.I say whatsup to them,they reply too.they looked approachable.i should of walked with them i thought.

 --- At Hottopic, bam i approach this girl as i get there.pretty fun conv. it lasted about 1 minute or two.i'm just saying anything that flows out.i open with a compliment,pretty blond-E.i'm starting to feel more RELAx around cute girls. Soon enough,as im walking around,i see those 2 hot chicks from earlier that slipped away.in my mind im like "no more letting opportunities slide".Vrooom.i go for the approach and open with whatever.i start walking with them,theyre receptive.i used that little line from Tyler's "it smells like tacos,you have tacos in your purse,etc).They laugh.i realize i wasnt all anxious and felt pretty relaxed around them.as im walking with them i try getting physicalso i put my arm around the hot chubby girl,she brushes it off.the other girl tries getting my attention wanting me to talk to her.Soon enough i was coming up blank,couldnt think of anything else to say,so i let them go.Sweet,what a sucess,2 mintues in.i felt even better for doing that,no longer trapped in my head at this point.The first time i walk with moving set.i wouldnt dare to do that when i'm "Out of State".

 --- Later on at jcp,i spot this girl with a nice aSS.Kind of thought ahead and slid into my head as i was walking over to her to do my approach.Didnt know what to say to her,but i still open her.Shit was hilirious,i say the first thing that comes in mind.Tacos.as she stands there listening to me talk making No sense,gives me this look like your totally clueless.10 seconds as im still talking...Blown out.She turns her body away from me while im rambling nonsense and walks away.Rejected while other girls who were close by saw.i didnt react,just kept my chill and walked off laughing at myself inside my mind.Another win for me i thought.i tryed at least.

--- My approach was wrong.lesson learned.i just gotta change the way i do thangs.Fast foward.i see them 2 chicks that i approached earlier walking towards me agian,so i go inside this girly looking clothing shop.theres a group of girls,i go in and cut in saying some shit took something out of her hand.fuck i cant remember what i was saying,but TO ME it was gold. haha.Then those 2 girls also come in,probably following me around the whole mall while i wasnt noticing.im like "stalker,stop following me".From out of nowhere she starts acting like a bitch.im guessing it was some shit test.the hot chubby girl all saying im trying to hit on her sister,this and that.i laugh (in my mind im like oh shit,bitch is pretty mean lol) and i exit soaking up the shit.i was like dam,i didnt expect that.i didnt freak out however,just reamained calm.The last time some girl was that mean to me was back when i used to kick it with my old homies (i kicked it with cholos at that time). i was absolutely clueless,Unconscious Incompetence.even when i was drunk or high on drugs i had NO GAME.i was like "Why is she being so mean to me?" (cartman voice).

--- Finally,i headed into Hollister,and i see that same girl that i talked to a couple of months ago.that time i was in the zone,just flowing,present to the moment.She's facing the other way& i bump into her.idk why i kept walking and didnt stop to talk to her for some reason.Attached to the outcome maybe?Since the last time it went so well.i see another cute girl though,i go in and open.cool we start talking.I'm able to listen better now and think i realized.i spoke with pauses and slower than before.the first minutes i just say some banter and these random role-plays that came out from nowhere.the Free Association exercises i been doing at home are paying off.it was crazy what i was doing.i then get physical with her,playfully pull her over.got my hands on her (haha its been sooooooooo long since i last did stuff like that with ex who dump me) and smelled her hair.Fun interaction.shes says she 23 im all saying she looks like 19.All of a sudden.[b]Shit Test
? Dont know if it was or not.she got all serious and saying things like she didnt want me to touch her agian and saying things like shes the boss so dont do that.something like that.i doubt it.pretty confuse,idk what i did wrong.i was like whatever& contiue talking not reacting to her.i finally leave after 5 mintues of talking to her.Happy that i took action.its crazy cuase i actually felt "normal" . (i posted about this in some other forum that i could access;free membership.they told me stuff like you need to banter more & you didnt follow the sytem,unhelpul stuff like that.)

 --- As im leaving,i see that one cute filipina chick (8.5) stacking clothes and putting them into place.Since last time i saw her i remember how pissed and upset i was for not taking that action.Choded out all stuck in my head with NO Social Momentum.Well now i finally get my slice of the cake,hehehe.She was all dolled up in her sexy white skirt,revealing those soft tasty looking brown/tan legs.I open her pretty funny and start talking.She wasnt facing me yet,so i made sure i match Body Language.i just turn my head to talk to her.Dont want to appear "Needy" bro.i made good eye contact and vomited words out.i touch her face,but she removes my hand and says," Dont touch me." i contiue talking though,i compliment her hair.then i start touching her agian.i  play with her curly hair,this time, she allowed it and just giggled.She just smiles and looks me deeply in the eyes.fuck yeah,i was fucking present and feeling in a good State.Law of state transfered took over.i wasnt feeling weird,reaction-seeking,outcome dependent,it was crazy.Yay!.3 or 4 mintues in i lasted.i finally took that action that i missed.

--- Bam, i smash feeling all proud and happy for myself.What a big success for me,that reference experience is gonna help out alot.So,as i'm walking outside,on top of the Macy's catwalk thingy,i caught this honey dip checking me out from way up there,& i was down here.I'm guessing she can feel my awesomeness from way up there.as i get closer,Shes's like "Dayymmm" trying to get my attention.i finally turn,and flip her off.she starts laughing.Cant stop Wont Stop,bro.I keep improving.Today was very fun.

* Sucesses; 12 approaches/opens,hi's;watsups * Lessons/Things to work on; * Assume Value and enjoy taking any action * Follow those important principles * Expression over impression *Be unreactive and watch out for test * Fuck Outcome Dependence * The way you start determines how it ends,fuck spectator mode, do approaches asap.First 30 seconds in is key. *approaching moving targets isnt so scary.its all in your head. * Be a risk taker,it is attractive.Unapolegetic
__________________
THE JOURNEY:

http://www.rsdnation.com/node/359059 <---- Latest F.R/Journal
http://www.rsdnation.com/node/270908 <---- F.R from 2012
Login or register to post.
#2
559Lakersd

559Lakersd

Senior Member

Join Date: 12/05/2012 | Posts: 184

  I'm gonna make this short,b/c theres too much to post+ i cant remember everything and how many little succeses i got...

 11-23-12 (Black Friday) :

 --- Man,its Black Friday,something tells me its a great afternoon to go out, do approaches and talk to people at the mall.Fresno,Califownia,here i come.Great,parking lot is packed and a shitload of people and Girls,so theres No Excuses.i might was well buy some new shirts too now that thres sale i thought.At first i get there and got overwelmed b/c of the social pressure,so many people.So i go into this shop,see a cool shirt and pop out the green paper.Couldnt talk at first,i was all stuck in my head trying to talk to the girl helping me out choose a shirt.After that,i tryed to warm up and get talkative.it just wasnt clicking for some reason.First day out so i dont expect much.All of a sudden i remembered that Julien Video," Why So Serious,Learn the right way to flirt with women".There,he talked about "NO Talking Opener/Excersise",i was like Wtf,lets do this.

--- I was amazed at what was happening with my own eyes.it was so funny how i did these approaches & open without saying anything & letting the Law of state tranference do the work.My vibe was good b/c ALL of the girls i approached gaved me a positive reaction.Dam,i thought,everything is ALL in your head.The first girl i open was at Zumies,i saw her cus she was hot (8.5/9),i open that hot rockerpunk chick whatever she was.i saw the "Anime Eyes" pop out,i was like "Whoa".i didnt talk for 10 seconds and then i smash with that small win.Minimizing time in between.i then went to another girl and did the same.i was getting started,with every approach i got more out of my head and i eventually started talking b/c i felt in a social mood.

--- i went inside alot of girl clothing stores,i saw them and i took action.Like this hot asian girl that was dresses to the 9's( surprised me that i approached these type of girls in that enviroment,usually i dont because they look intimidating and i make excuses like shes too hot,people are watching me,it'll be wierd to approach here).i was making strong eye contact with her shes like just looks at me like she seeing some sort of light maybe.i pretend that i cant talk,so im just doing those hand gestures,sign language and facial expression like in the Julien video.That video cracks me up big time.As i enter NoFear,i start talking to some cool girl that works there.i felt pretty relax and chill the entire 5 minutes that we talked.its crazy how these topics and stuff to say just poped out from out of nowhere.Sometimes i just come up blank with nothing in my mind.Awesome Win for me.----->Fast Foward to having a good amount of Social Momentum,no longer feeling weird,being in spectator mode, or feeling anti-social.i lost count how many people i talked to.At Forever21,i open some ugly girls and talked for about 10 seconds.Then to this other lady,after a while i spotted another cute looking girl.i go up to approach that 7.5 at the top floor.Can't remeber what i was saying,all i remember was the vibe and non-verbal stuff.Cool,i did a good job talking for 2 minutes.i'm doing what i want to do,son.

--- Vrooomm.i get to the Abercrombie&Fitch Kids,haha.i open a group of 4 girls feeling confident & normal.i say whatever comes to mind,knowing that whatever i say is good enough and has value.i realized throught the process,that it doesnt matter what you say,Julien was right,its all Sub-Communication.if the girl gets disgusted,that means your putting the wrong vibe.For soooooo long i had this belief that What you say Matters..if you dont say this...your done.i was shattering those old beliefs right there.it was crazy how i busted the "no talking" approaches,it was fun too.No attachment to the outcome,as far as for those i approached.i hitted up 8's & 9's,2 sets,bomb girls..i probably approached the most pretty girls that i ever had,since first getting into this.That goes for High School too. Most girls i talked to were 6's.the thought of me talking to a pretty girl was sooo far out of my reality.Nope,scratch that out,there were rare times when i would talk to some cute girls. Some were nice.hahaha.i remember in class when they changed our seats,i would get terrified knowing that i have to sit next to this pretty girl.There were times they didnt want to be near me,because of the vibe/negative energy i was projecting outwards.telling the teacher if they can sit somewhere else. Other times i'd talk to a pretty girl and she was nice.Though i get really shy.

--- So,anyways i saw it with my own eyes that this shit is all non-verbal comm. mostly.As far as i feel good & self amused,then its all good.No creepiness or wierdness.that goes for these short approaches that i do,dont know about staying in set for long.i'm baby stepping it foward,being happy with my long progress,no rush to get there.What a successful evening i had,Well for me thats what i call sucess.some people may look at that like, you didnt get phone #'s or your didnt get lay lol.so thats about it i guess.Got some more Reference Expieriences.i'll post another Field Report  trying this agian in the future.i may need to go back to realizing that what you say doesnt matter,since its something i usually struggle with when im out feeling anti-social or introverted...Later \m/

 *Sucesses; 13+ approaches Lost count,it was alot.Also Approached more prettier girls than ever before
 * Lessons Learned/Things to work on; * even though i dont start off good,i could always make the decsion to come back into it. * Just Keep taking action,i'll get out of my head eventually. * Rememeber to enjoy the process of taking action itself. * Assume Value,Cool guys dont need to impress anybody. * Million Dollar Mouthpeice; it doesnt matter what you say,Express yourself and self-amuse.Talk about anything you want,just be into what your saying.if you like it,they'll like.if you dont like it,they wont either. * It's all in your head.it doesnt matter how you open or where you approach. * tryed no talking opener.learned alot.its in the vibe/non verbals.
__________________
THE JOURNEY:

http://www.rsdnation.com/node/359059 <---- Latest F.R/Journal
http://www.rsdnation.com/node/270908 <---- F.R from 2012
Login or register to post.
#3
559Lakersd

559Lakersd

Senior Member

Join Date: 12/05/2012 | Posts: 184

 UPDATE:

 Keep in mind, most of ya dont even know.During this period, i was taking some pills for my anxiety( wasnt that severe),which helped me a bit.so i got a boost,at least to approach and socialize. Thats why i was able to do what would take me 3 years to do. it only took me so far,then it stopped working,and i came down from the high as well. i decided to stop taking them all together.i was on it for 3 months. Now,i can say that the effects of it has completely worn out. i havent took ANY drugs since then.
__________________
THE JOURNEY:

http://www.rsdnation.com/node/359059 <---- Latest F.R/Journal
http://www.rsdnation.com/node/270908 <---- F.R from 2012
Login or register to post.