THE FORUMS

December 8th, 2016
✘ Sometimes It's Not About The Level of Frame Control, But WHAT Frame You Set/Represent: Natural vs. Self-Taught Frames ✘
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The Duck ✘

The Duck ✘

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Join Date: 12/02/2006 | Posts: 1353


Getting back to strictly FR's from next week when I finish my Master Thesis. But untill then, all this studying and writing has me thinking.

If you're like me, you hang out with high value people - many of which are naturals with strong frames. When you encounter a solid dude, you may push to establish your frame, but more often than not, you end up in a 50/50 respectful position; you don't buy into his frame and he doesn't buy into yours.

But what if you're going for the same chick. Ah well, that I've had some experience with. Tried various things, of which many worked. But my favourite one is to set a more valuable frame than his.

Thing is with naturals, they're emotional and used to being at the center of attention and leading. So when you hold your frame, they're in unfamiliar territory. This often times affects the frames they're trying to set, to get things "back to normal". They make bad suggestions and hold on to them, like "Hey guys, let's go to this bar", "This place sucks, let's go over there". And with enough frame control, people go along with it, even though the other bar sucks. Sometimes even their level of frame is thrown off if you decide to push some buttons. But given their years of confidence, most can hold it together.

Example: Dude from Israel who was with me for a week long conference. Solid guy with military background. Led his social groups and I did my thing. Now I usually like hanging around with cool dudes, but this guy had something "dark" to him. He would make jokes at the expense of people and laugh AT them, instead of with them. And because of his frame, dude got away with it. Motherfucker LOOKED like Vincent Cassel as well. One of them curly mofo's.

So, we were going for the hottest girl and I saw it like a 50/50 shot between us getting her. Her friends loved him, so she spent more time with him, while I was doing some work with the conference during the week. And then on day 2, she texts me asking where I'm at. I tell her I'm at  a hip-hop bar/club having a drink, since I'm not into the parties everyone else was going to. She said she would ditch her friends and join me. When she arrived, I asked her why she's not with curly fries like all her friends. She laughed and said "He's a cool guy and funny. But I don't like the way he treats people". We end up having sex at the end of the night and I hook up with another French girl during the week. 

Point being: It's fun, try it.

2nd point is this: If you're around chodes, it often times only comes down to the level of frame control you have and you'll blow them out. But with frame strong dudes, your advantage can be in the TYPE of frame you're setting. Is it more fun, more creative, more VALUABLE than his, then you'll have an advantage. This also shows the kind of person you are. 

Think about this: Do women want a real man who BEATS them - or do they want an real man who treats them and other people well. The one doesn't always mean the other.

Another thing is that I see dudes ONLY focusing on LEADING and FRAME CONTROL. Sure, those are great skills. But where the FUCK are you leading them to and what frame you're establishing is a factor as well. More so in environments with generally cool people. 
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Brad '09 BC Alumni ✘ Alexander 3x BC Assistant ✘ Former RSD Intern ✘ Copenhagen, Denmark ✘ SWAG
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#1
G-Money

G-Money

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Join Date: 09/20/2011 | Posts: 586

 Good stuff. 

I feel like I have a strong frame with most social groups I encounter but sometimes my motives are not as congruent as they ought to be.

For example, I will clearly have a stronger frame than a dude when we are vying for the same chick. This is READILY APPARENT to everyone. Instead of just being present and enjoying the moment, I will sometimes push it farther and tool the dude. On a surface level, this is funny to most people in the group but I could see how it comes off as low value/petty/pointless to other people (often times the people that find this behavior unattractive are higher value, *higher consciousness*) 

Thanks man, I appreciated this. Good luck on your thesis!
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#2
Gravity

Gravity

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Join Date: 07/06/2011 | Posts: 1681

damn man your shti lately is insane levels of good
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#3
The Duck ✘

The Duck ✘

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Join Date: 12/02/2006 | Posts: 1353

Glad you got something out of it
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Brad '09 BC Alumni ✘ Alexander 3x BC Assistant ✘ Former RSD Intern ✘ Copenhagen, Denmark ✘ SWAG
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#4

Macavity

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Join Date: 08/25/2009 | Posts: 2511

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#5
The Duck ✘

The Duck ✘

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Join Date: 12/02/2006 | Posts: 1353

I would love to know why you think so.

I'm a HUGE fan of the genre. Do you miss deeper lyrics, better beats, better flows?

I highly recommend Kendrick Lamar's newest debut album. It's a classic!
Brian♥ wrote:
can someone explain to me why hip hop is shit now?
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Brad '09 BC Alumni ✘ Alexander 3x BC Assistant ✘ Former RSD Intern ✘ Copenhagen, Denmark ✘ SWAG
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