THE FORUMS

March 26th, 2017
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#61
iiSwoosh

iiSwoosh

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Join Date: 06/25/2009 | Posts: 1212

jaxx89d wrote:
 I'm finding that when you identify yourself as a Man, this shit is extremly easy cz ur relaxed all the time and feel u can get any women, but it removes the motivation and for other things you identified with, such as your job, hobbies, family, friends, and whatever.

It's like you remove the stress or pressures from getting any girl's validation, but also you remove the motivation and intent you had from being a brand manager / soccer player / whatever... Your head becomes almost care-free.

I'm not exagerating here, but if I didn't need to work and focus, my level would be exactly as Alex's. But I'm finding it hard to calibrate between being relaxed with girls and being focused/impressing/motivated in work and actual life.

Do you separate your actual life/work/studies whatever, from your sex life? Or you don't have anything else to do these days?
Im thinking that instead of seperating them you can transfer them.  It's not releavign the pressure in my opinion, but instead being very chill because you are very grounded and experianced.  From my sales job, I am grounded 100% because I believe in my product even when I'm full of shit.  I can stay relaxed even and come with an answer to any question or problem because I really have heard it all, just maybe from a different perspective.  It just shows confidence and honestly now that Im thinking about it, it really is just getting comfortable in following the motions and after a while i really do think that "game" becomes what OP describes.  Just being you and being very chill, you've done it a hundred, thousand times and you're confident that you have a pretty damn good chance on making the sale, even though sometimes you wont.  
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#62
jaxx89d

jaxx89d

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Join Date: 09/23/2012 | Posts: 812

 @right now

I duno bro, one way seems like care free if I didn't get what I want (girls), the other seems like "confident i can do it" (other stuff).

That care free attitude is what allows me to focus solely on the girl, forget everything around me, get aroused/connected, and get the girl very into me.

Get me back sometimes to my Trying persona, where I need to get things done, and that moves towards everything, even towards trying to get the girl.

One if focusing on the actual words and arguments and logic behind it, the other is going with what I feel. One is I know what I want to say from experience of how to "deal" with situations and calibrate, the other is I act in the moment, also from unconscious experience, I don't plan it.

Duno I'm still experimenting with it, off to work! Hehe
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#63
Yoda

Yoda

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Join Date: 03/22/2008 | Posts: 1215

Great post!

A guy who can really relax and be comfortable around a hot girl without wanting anything from her is very rare and that's why this works so beautifully.
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#64

MikeGlory

Senior Member

Join Date: 12/29/2012 | Posts: 100

I think this all relates to "no reason why I'm not enough" mindset, right?

After experimenting with this for like ... a while. Maybe 2 months? I kinda find it still hard to tell a difference between being chill and passive / not stimulating enough...

I guess my biggest problem is that guys would come in and they are like more arousing than me (especially if they are bigger than me and drunk), and I just don't have enough emotional output to catch the girl's attention back.  I'm like intimidated by them. That wouldn't happen if I'd be hitting it up aggressively as Tyler... which in theory, I could, given that I was still in "relaxed" and nonconfrontational mode. I guess?

For some reason, this "no reason I'm not enough" mindset also gives me an excuse to be a chode... 

Aggh,too contradicting !!!

Being relaxed/chill/"no reason why I'm not enough" worked well for me in daytime so far, though. 

I should try this out for at least 10 more nights... I mean I'm still kinda a newbie. I think I'm not sticking in with the girl enough or not trusting myself or something. 

What I definitely shall try is being relaxed and identifying myself with a "man"... that's something I haven't tried.




 
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#65

mj1989

Junior Member

Join Date: 11/13/2015 | Posts: 7

great thanks man !
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#66
TurokStoleUrMeat

TurokStoleUrMeat

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Join Date: 12/03/2013 | Posts: 519

good shit.

Turok
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#67
ChemicallyAesthetic

ChemicallyAesthetic

Respected Member

Join Date: 05/27/2015 | Posts: 458

Great post, fella!

Heres my question; i'm the relaxed guy that can't hook. I've gotten good at talking in a relaxed tone and having comfortable body language. I can sense this transfers onto the girl but it's not enough. I guess this is a newbie area but what kind of conversation structure would go along with this "invisible" game? 
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#68
ChemicallyAesthetic

ChemicallyAesthetic

Respected Member

Join Date: 05/27/2015 | Posts: 458

Infinite369 Wrote:
^^^ Positive/negative/silly/serious About you, about her, about the things around you.


Easy and simple!

I made a thread in regards to this to which no one responded haha. With the "about you, about her" part. Should there be a 50/50 balance, or a ask question>recieve answer>state opinion>relate it to a story about yourself? I find myself asking too many questions about her (and making assumptions based of cold reads) and having to talk about myself in a spontaneous, unprovoked manner. The investment isn't there.

Also, to add to this thread. I learnt alot about female psychology in the Louann Brizendine (neuropsychiatrist) book "The Female Brain". It may not be as relatable as OPs post but it gives a female perspective on relationship/life struggles at certain points of there life. It emphasizes how woman perceive themselves and how valuable they are in society. 

- Social validation and acceptance. The book provides a thesis that a woman's reality must be validated (or confirmed) by the people around her. For everything she does, she is thinking "Is this ok? Have i done something wrong? Will he like this?" etc. They are basically outcome dependent, but try not to show it. Hence why making a girl question herself is a big thing as taught by RSD. This book makes a point that if a girl doesn't get a confirmation on something, she will not stop chasing until she gets it. The author used an example of a toddler that would do something that she thought would get her father's attention. He was busy reading the newspaper and she would get frustrated and angry because she couldn't get him to react. As soon as he looked up and smiled at her, she laughed and continued on with her day just because his smile validated her behavior at the time. The same study was done on male toddlers, and the kid couldn't give a fuck, lol.
- Looks. Starting in their teens. This is an obvious one, but they place alot of pressure on their appearance in order to have a chance in the food chain amongst all the other females, and ofcourse, to appeal to their ideal guy. The slightest "malfunction" kills their confidence.
- The goal to be protected and lead. Another kind of obvious one. Every girl is just waiting to be 'adopted' by a guy that can act as a protector and leader. This can relate to rejection and why women can be so selective. The book makes the point that woman are so excited and desperate to be rescued that it gets frustrating when these hopes and dreams are constantly let down, again and again, by inadequate men. They are like puppies at a dog shelter - they want to be taken away so bad but at the same time, are frightened that they will make the wrong decision.

There's alot of other great points that i can't remember right now but it's a great read if you want to just understand what women are thinking. Removes the whole "women are bitches" mentality you might have and puts it into a "women are innocent puppies that chew on you're shoes".
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#69
indyj

indyj

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Join Date: 08/27/2014 | Posts: 97

Sick Post!
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