THE FORUMS

January 17th, 2017
HOLY FUCK emotional rollercoaster.. LeadOn/OnTheHook/Undecisive... Tyler? Brad?
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JoeStriker

Senior Member

Join Date: 12/17/2011 | Posts: 136

I live on Campus at university, and during this crazy oreintation week fair, I was a big pimp. At one point I met these girls, dragged them around and went on rides and shit... It was good. We became friends and I'd hangout with them occasionally. I didn't really care too much, there were other girls I was pursuing... but they were always very flirty with me, but one in particular was espesially so, lets call her Baby. These girls all lived together, and I never thought about any of them romantically... that is until shit started happening with me and my floor mates. A bunch of drama went on, so I avoided that, and started hanging out with these girls more often. We'd hangout, watch TV and shit... and me and Baby started getting closer. She'd pull me into her room, and we'd talk for hours... I've probably met two people whom I can talk all night with, and she was one of them.

We'd talk, and I told her my life story, and she told me hers... We'd spoon for hours, and she'd push her butt into my groin... Push my arm into her boobs... Thoughts kept running through my head "Dude, you should make a move!!!" ... One problem.

As I lay there, pressed against her... as she laughs and smiles and is so warm against me... On her lamptable sits a picture of her, and her boyfriend of two years.
Hes looking into my eyes with this sad puppy dog face, as if to say "Don't hurt me bro... shes all I got".

That night I sleep over.
And the next night we hang out until 4 am
And the next night.

She tells me "If I hadn't [her boyfriend], we would SO be dating right now"
Then the next day texts me "Honestly though Joe, even if I WAS single, I really don't think I could go for you. I appreciate having you in my life as such an amazing friend too much to let something like that slip away."

I apologize to her if I gave her the wrong impression because "I think [shes] a cool, very attractive person, but I'm not trying to pursue [her] or anything like that, and if it came off like that, my bad".

I see her in person... Super flirty. I spend the night again, she PUSHES HER BUTT... INTO ME...
SHES LAUGHING AT ALL MY JOKES.. EVEN THE STUPID ONES!
Where as before I could easily brush it off, NOW I'm getting attached.

We're texting all the time. I go over all the time.

She says shes afraid that shes going to cheat on him everytime she comes up to my room, or sees my face. She says she feels the same chemistry that I do.

She says shes confused... and is doubting her relationship. Shes wondering why shes still in it.
SHES DEBATING ON WHO SHE WANTS TO BE WITH...

She tells me she talked to him, and that they worked it out, and that shes going to stay with him... and that shes sorry for the shitty circumstances.

The next day, she breaks up with him.


Holy fuck.
So I go over the night of... I'm cuddling with her again. I KNOW I should make a move. But I can't. I out.

The NEXT DAY, she gets back with her boyfriend......
I called her out on all her shit. Leading me on, etc etc...

I know I should not be attached and theres a tonne of campus sluts why am I wasting my time and bla bla bla...

But I seriously think she had feelings for me. I think it was real. So besides the fact that shes been on the fence and she doesn't know what she wants and its her fault bla bla bla...
I did have a stake in this... some of this is my fault....I didn't escalate when I should have.. there was a brief window... and I failed. I got attached, and she became the star of the movie... So that fucked it up aswell....
And heres the kicker.... When she told me that she got back with her boyfriend.... It came up that she was WAITING FOR ME TO KISS HER LIKE 5 TIMES>>>>>> 5 TIMES..... And I was busy waiting for permission......


Shes out of town for the weekend...
I'm seriously considering going over after shes back, taking her into her room.... and just kissing her out of the blue. Shes back with this lanky chodey fuck, but I'm just gonna do it.


Brothers... I'm much too close to this situation to know what I should be doing...
I mean, I know I should be a man on my path... and be focused on my own life so I don't get attached so easily... BUT I know what I did wrong, and I WANT this to work out..
And I know I should move on... but I don't want to... I don't want to meet anyone else. There is undeniably a connection with this girl.
Shes a good person, and I like her for who she is... She mave have led me on... But you guys out of anyone can understand how hard it is for girls to be decisive... Shes got two years of comfort and attachment to battle, and she literally broke up with her boyfriend for me....Some of this is my fault too... I got attached... and I didn't escalate...


What do I do.
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#1

JoeStriker

Senior Member

Join Date: 12/17/2011 | Posts: 136

Maybe I'm over dramatic... and buying into the whole
"I like this girl... I'm just gonna tell her and its all gonna work out and we live happily ever after" fantasy shit...

The real problem is why I want a relationship so bad in the first place...
I've got a habit of turning even the slightest connection into some big deal and end up making it into some fantasy.

Haha I was literally expecting sympathy because she got back with her boyfriend... from another girl who I had romantic interest in and fucked the relationship!

My problem is defining my life through women. Making women the main source of validation...
My marks are starting to suffer... My sleep pattern is irratic... and whats worse is I like it in a sick way...

All these emotions are stimulating... "Look at me I'm a victim :(, wahhh" "Shes back with her boyfriend... I'm so hard done by..." It gives me an identity...
So I tell all my friends about it, trying to get attention and sympathy... Which just alienates myself further, because they hate the emotional leeching....
Are there any books on this subject? Way of the Superior man... maybe? 

I swear I didn't used to be like this.... Or maybe this whole thing has brought up some issues that I've got to deal with...

What do I do with this girl.
What do I do with my life.

I'm looking for the truth, the reality. Not some fantasy.
__________________
The only theory you need:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k51zX4kIoGs
Stories I write after I come home from the club. Lessons learned and interesting nights:
http://www.rsdnation.com/node/211825
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#2
iiiEatBabies

iiiEatBabies

Junior Member

Join Date: 03/13/2012 | Posts: 26

 Sounds all too familiar with what i kinda just went throuugh a week ago , if i were you i'd just hang in there a little bit more to see where this is going , but if it isn't going in a good direction then let her go , i repeat LET HER GOOOOO. It feels so good to be in that state where your just cuddling and kissing and just being with her , but you know deep down it iisnt good for you 
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#3
RSD-Adam

RSD-Adam

Junior Member

Join Date: 09/20/2012 | Posts: 24

 Alright, take some deep breaths.

First off: This girl is trash. You deserve better.

She's pretty much gaming you, and not in the "Authentic" way we do here at RSD either. I'm not a mysogenist, I have a very fine appreciation of honest, kind-hearted girls, but this one is pretty filthy. Since you're in scarcity (Even a newbie like me can tell from the tone of your typing) you're attached to her.

Realize that you are not growing if you keep cuddling and wasting time with this girl. 

Realize that you will grow by bleeding on the field, approaching sets and running game.

Don't let this one get in your way. It's not hard to find a better girl than this. Every second you spend on this one (even thinking about her) is essentially wasted time. 

Think about all the qualities that make up your "perfect girl". Every guy has a different set of values he looks for. This will take at least a bit of time thinking alone.

If you really want a relationship, go find the perfect girl. Not the one who is the quickest to rub her ass into your crotch and cuddle with you endlessly.

Go. Don't stagnate.


(Side-note: A girl who was pretty close to my "perfect girl" broke up with me about a month and a half ago. I felt like shit too. But look at where I am now: I just typed the post above. Trust me, you will be fine. Now go.)
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#4

D1

Senior Member

Join Date: 04/25/2012 | Posts: 125

Man I've been there more than once and it's past the point of you hooking up with her. Sorry bro.

Friend zone her and move on, mo' bitches less problems.
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#5
DudeMcdudeson

DudeMcdudeson

Junior Member

Join Date: 08/13/2012 | Posts: 16

 Dude, trust me on this one! Ive been in the same situation as you are right now, except I was in high school! Same stuff with spooning and pussying out on making a move. IVE REGRETTED IT EVER SINCE....hell I still regret not making a move and it least screwing the girl. Please man, please, do it for me ...just do it and dont regret it, otherwise you WILL....BIG TIME ! 
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#6

JoeStriker

Senior Member

Join Date: 12/17/2011 | Posts: 136

Thanks for the post Adam.. You said everything I needed to hear, and I totally agree with you that I should be moving on, and growing... and realizing that I have options.
Its just the thought of "I COULD HAVE KISSED HER" keeps running through my head and its very frustrating.
If I'm put in the situation, I'm just gonna do it.
RSD-Adam wrote:
 Alright, take some deep breaths.

First off: This girl is trash. You deserve better.

She's pretty much gaming you, and not in the "Authentic" way we do here at RSD either. I'm not a mysogenist, I have a very fine appreciation of honest, kind-hearted girls, but this one is pretty filthy. Since you're in scarcity (Even a newbie like me can tell from the tone of your typing) you're attached to her.

Realize that you are not growing if you keep cuddling and wasting time with this girl. 

Realize that you will grow by bleeding on the field, approaching sets and running game.

Don't let this one get in your way. It's not hard to find a better girl than this. Every second you spend on this one (even thinking about her) is essentially wasted time. 

Think about all the qualities that make up your "perfect girl". Every guy has a different set of values he looks for. This will take at least a bit of time thinking alone.

If you really want a relationship, go find the perfect girl. Not the one who is the quickest to rub her ass into your crotch and cuddle with you endlessly.

Go. Don't stagnate.


(Side-note: A girl who was pretty close to my "perfect girl" broke up with me about a month and a half ago. I felt like shit too. But look at where I am now: I just typed the post above. Trust me, you will be fine. Now go.)

__________________
The only theory you need:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k51zX4kIoGs
Stories I write after I come home from the club. Lessons learned and interesting nights:
http://www.rsdnation.com/node/211825
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#7
King.NoOne~

King.NoOne~

Senior Member

Join Date: 02/23/2011 | Posts: 143

 Sorry, bro, but there is a huge amount of gay in the OP.
Not trying to troll you.
If you don't intend to make a move - stop hanging with her.
Also, another lesson you could take from this(I know that the first sentence will make you think you know what I'm talking about, but bear with me and read on):
A lot of people say that you should push the interaction early and go to "man to woman" asap, otherwise, you'd be "friendzoned". I don't really care how much of this is true(it is)...The real problem is that when you go "friend to friend" and "talk and cuddle all night, because she's special", you confuse your own self. You stop seeing that woman in a sexual way. You start thinking "Oh, I'd never want a blowjob from her, that's what the whores do. This one is special!".
And since you believe that "This one is special"(she's not and is probably a worse person than girls that you have fucked and never called) - you can't let yourself fuck her - even when you're lying in bed and she's pressing her ass against you.

I've done this time and time again and right now a close friend of mine is suffering the same type of oneitis(note: he fucks a LOT of other chicks) - the girl slept in his bed topless TWICE, and eventhough he claims that he wants her so bad, he couldn't make a move. When I asked "Why didn't you just pull your dick out?" he replied "I couldn't - she's not like the other ones"... Then realised how ridiculous that sounds and has been beeting himself since, but alas - the girl is gone :)

Also the part with "The boyfriend in the picture" was pretty weak... Your mind was desperately looking for a way to justify your behaviour. In reality - you just conditioned yourself to not fuck her. And by now it's probably late to go back and fix it. Congratulations, you're growing! :)
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#8
KidGreatness

KidGreatness

Member

Join Date: 11/02/2012 | Posts: 61

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Tonight make me unstoppable And I will charm, I will slice I will dazzle them with my wit Tonight make me unstoppable And I will charm, I will slice I will dazzle, I will outshine them all  
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#9
Kindred

Kindred

Trusted Member

Join Date: 07/24/2012 | Posts: 1740

 Fuck other girls and be cold with her.

As others have said, she's gaming you etc.. if you've got even a chance of salvaging anything from this it's by moving on and macking other chicks. Don't rub her face in it but don't hide it from her either. Let her see that you don't give a fuck and FRIENDZONE HER.

All the typical script-flipping reverse psychology bullshit that dates back to old community knowledge (borderline cliché). Using jealousy and scarcity to your advantange.
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