THE FORUMS

December 11th, 2016
Girl I hooked up with for 6 months, we agreed to be friends afterward, getting her back?
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Knoxville

Respected Member

Join Date: 05/19/2011 | Posts: 777

 so I was hooking up with this girl for 6 months and we agreed to just be friends since niether of us wanted to be in a relationship and I didnt want monogamy.. Since ending our thing a almost a few months ago Ive been with a few other girls, but now I want this girl back (yes...I know .... lol). We've been dirty texting since we've been off. Last conversatino went from dirty to me telling her that I wanted to see her. Then she began shit testing me. I handled it well. But now she's taking forever to text. I thought it was still a shit test, but I am realizing that it no longer may be shit tests. 

I know ideally the only way it could work is if I ran into her (getting her to meet up may not happen), resparked attraction, make out, etc. 

What my chode male brain wants to do is be straight forward with her over text and let her know that I dont just want to meet up to hook up... The best way of making her my girl friend is resparkign attraction down the road and sleeping with her .... aaannnd then making the girl friend thing happen again. 

I do know that if a meet up doesnt happen, its best that I stoip texting and pursuing her and just be abundant (I am sleeping with a new girl and am having day 2s) and respark attracftion if I run into her again. 

I feel like its important that I communicate clearly my intention...which I think is not a good way to go about it. I just need clarification. 
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#1

Knoxville

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Join Date: 05/19/2011 | Posts: 777

 You know I thought about this and realized....delete her number, text convo's,etc. Look forward and move forward. Focus on my own self fulfillment. My own sense of completeness. Focusing on deriving my happiness from within. Focusing on the amazing feeling I get when I pursue and hit up girls for the sake of the process and meeting cooler hotter girls. 

I can focus on feeling good in my own energy again. Enjoying my friends and what I have in my life. I can develop that and potentially run into her and respark things....buuut I need to let go of even that. I've gotta cultivate good emotions and abundance purely for myself and not "getting" her because the latter isn't seeing and pursuing the bigger picture. 

There are always hotter cooler girls. Im young and developing.I shouldn't stop game and get distracted, but instead seek to live a more fulfilling enjoyable life rather than the distraction of comfort. 

When wepursue the journey, these experiences are crucial to breaking the balance point of the fulcrum. It disrupts us, puts us in our head. Makes us question what we want vs what we need. Engaging in the process creates pain that we learn from. This in turn transcends us towards the goals that we seek. I don't question my results to question the past, but more to question and rewrite what could have otherwise happened in the future. 
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#2
dansim

dansim

Junior Member

Join Date: 03/31/2012 | Posts: 8

amen
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#3
Torrey

Torrey

Senior Member

Join Date: 12/28/2011 | Posts: 209

muzzi17 wrote:
 You know I thought about this and realized....delete her number, text convo's,etc. Look forward and move forward. Focus on my own self fulfillment. My own sense of completeness. Focusing on deriving my happiness from within. Focusing on the amazing feeling I get when I pursue and hit up girls for the sake of the process and meeting cooler hotter girls. 

I can focus on feeling good in my own energy again. Enjoying my friends and what I have in my life. I can develop that and potentially run into her and respark things....buuut I need to let go of even that. I've gotta cultivate good emotions and abundance purely for myself and not "getting" her because the latter isn't seeing and pursuing the bigger picture. 

There are always hotter cooler girls. Im young and developing.I shouldn't stop game and get distracted, but instead seek to live a more fulfilling enjoyable life rather than the distraction of comfort. 

When wepursue the journey, these experiences are crucial to breaking the balance point of the fulcrum. It disrupts us, puts us in our head. Makes us question what we want vs what we need. Engaging in the process creates pain that we learn from. This in turn transcends us towards the goals that we seek. I don't question my results to question the past, but more to question and rewrite what could have otherwise happened in the future. 


Good shit OP. the paradox of it all is that you'll really only have her again when you don't want her at all.
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#4
Resmat

Resmat

Trusted Member

Join Date: 06/10/2012 | Posts: 2514

Fucking beautiful post right here.
muzzi17 wrote:
 You know I thought about this and realized....delete her number, text convo's,etc. Look forward and move forward. Focus on my own self fulfillment. My own sense of completeness. Focusing on deriving my happiness from within. Focusing on the amazing feeling I get when I pursue and hit up girls for the sake of the process and meeting cooler hotter girls. 

I can focus on feeling good in my own energy again. Enjoying my friends and what I have in my life. I can develop that and potentially run into her and respark things....buuut I need to let go of even that. I've gotta cultivate good emotions and abundance purely for myself and not "getting" her because the latter isn't seeing and pursuing the bigger picture. 

There are always hotter cooler girls. Im young and developing.I shouldn't stop game and get distracted, but instead seek to live a more fulfilling enjoyable life rather than the distraction of comfort. 

When wepursue the journey, these experiences are crucial to breaking the balance point of the fulcrum. It disrupts us, puts us in our head. Makes us question what we want vs what we need. Engaging in the process creates pain that we learn from. This in turn transcends us towards the goals that we seek. I don't question my results to question the past, but more to question and rewrite what could have otherwise happened in the future. 
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#5

Knoxville

Respected Member

Join Date: 05/19/2011 | Posts: 777

I officialy ended things today. Its crazy because I failed to see the signals that she was someone I would have wanted to be with. I partially failed because it was my first time in 3 years becoming attracted to someone in a relationship sense (the 3 years included me wanting to just learn game, but I didnt actually become immersed in game until a year and a half ago). I now know what to be aware of when this type of girl comes my way. I was talking to Adjunkie and he mentioned that he knew he had the right girl when he slept with her and than slept with another girl the next day who was part of his rotation. He didn't want to be with that girl, he just kept thinking of the girl from the previous night and he became exclusive with her immediately. I had a similar situation. 

Looking back, some of the signs were damn obvious. I was kicking it with her 4 days a week. I imagined myself having...yes...im about to say it....fucking babies with her while having sex. I sound like a crazy right now. I know. Anyways, when I was intimate with other girls all I wanted was to see her. When I kicked it with other girls, all I wanted was her because I enjoyed her company far more than other girls. She had family values, volunteered, thoughtful, etc. A lot of what I would've liked to be around. 

Today I found out that when she asked if I was sleeping with anyone else and if we could be monogamous, but not have a relationship...she actually wanted a relationship. 

If I persisted I definitely had a chance. She was still into me but on the fence about everything. I told myself that I had to end things because I wasn't completely honest when she asked if I had been with anyone else (2 months ago). At the time I didn't tell her the truth because I didnt want her to get jaded. I figured it would not turn into a relationship so I would hold that detail back. At this point it would be a recipe for disaster if I finally told the truth whether now or later...The truth eventually finds its way out.

I know my commitment to game has kept me away from exclusive relationships. Just as I have approached an intermediate level its become important that I not be in a relationship. But I lack severe experience in a relationship at 23. Something I think I will be open to in the coming year..
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#6
Get Bizzy

Get Bizzy

Respected Member

Join Date: 09/06/2012 | Posts: 357

Though I am totally not in a relationship stage since I just got out of an almost 2 year one (my longest ever) I know the value of having atleast one great relationship. You relate to girls much better. You are more of a man. You realize that girls will be girls and you don't get all butthurt about it anymore. It will be hard to game after but you will get back at it. So yea, if you find a good chick. Go for it. I'm surprised I'm saying this cuz I'm so anti-relationship right now but I know that my past helped shape me into what I am and the relationship was part of it.
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#7

Knoxville

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Join Date: 05/19/2011 | Posts: 777

Get Bizzy wrote:
Though I am totally not in a relationship stage since I just got out of an almost 2 year one (my longest ever) I know the value of having atleast one great relationship. You relate to girls much better. You are more of a man. You realize that girls will be girls and you don't get all butthurt about it anymore. It will be hard to game after but you will get back at it. So yea, if you find a good chick. Go for it. I'm surprised I'm saying this cuz I'm so anti-relationship right now but I know that my past helped shape me into what I am and the relationship was part of it.
Thanks man. Yeah that's how I feel. I feel like the community preaches against relationships to an extent so when the right girl came around I think I forgot to use my common sense and kept thinking..."no...game...game...game" which lead to not recognizing how incredible  I could have had it (not to say it wont happen in the near future). 
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#8
Vic Sage

Vic Sage

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Join Date: 02/13/2008 | Posts: 404

Let's talk about hooking up with girls who fucking hate you
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#9

Knoxville

Respected Member

Join Date: 05/19/2011 | Posts: 777

Vic Sage wrote:
Let's talk about hooking up with girls who fucking hate you
Would make my life easier. true dat
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