THE FORUMS

May 25th, 2017
Hardcase on losing ego and making the 1st approach
Your rating: None Average: 5 (3 votes)
Bookmark and Share

Stinkfist

Member

Join Date: 08/20/2012 | Posts: 46

  I'm still new to this, this is my second week of going out solo as a hardcase newbie

I heard a lot of people talking about lowering your standard if you're new to this, but I can't seem to be able to do it.

If anyone has any pointers on how they lost their bullshit protective persona while still feeling entitled enough to open a total stranger will be appreciated.
It's very weird, I can't understand it, not being able to "lower my standards" when I actually have none...(full blown virgin). I know it's mainly about dropping one's ego, and building momentum but it kinda suck being stuck at the ground floor :)

Found a lot of cool threads and inspiration, the dropping the looser mentality from viciousskills was of great help to me


So far I haven't been able to do my first approach as I'm working on more basic stuff like eye contact and what not (more details in my FR thread).

I was wondering if anyone had any insights on the subject or how they managed the situation as a hardcase noobie.

Thanks



__________________
HOPELESS HARDCASE CHRONICLES : Field Report
Login or register to post.
#1
Resmat

Resmat

Trusted Member

Join Date: 06/10/2012 | Posts: 2514

 I know what you mean man. It's tough as a hardcase newbie to just DO an approach, you gotta do little things, like make eye contact with the people that walk by you, say hi to strangers, and eventually work your way up to a full blown convo with someone random. I think lowering your standards is the best way to talk to a girl out of random just to get into the feel of it. You know? Just talk to a 5/10 but your goal isn't really to pick her up or get her #, just vibe or talk with er about random shit.
__________________
 
Login or register to post.
#2

theswedefist

Member

Join Date: 10/05/2012 | Posts: 60

if you're that hard up you need to learn how to speak with people in general. Say hi to every random strangeruntil that becomes natural. Then start having convos. Baby steps.
Login or register to post.
#3
Snakeeye

Snakeeye

Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/16/2012 | Posts: 1700

i am a nebie too, but i am not a virgin, (i am 39) and i have read, and been out and practice 3 days a week, for around 3 month now,
and im always going out alone,,,,

what i did was i walk out, every day, and just talk to people, a womens with a dog, in the shop, on the street, i did talk with everybody,
if some one just standing in front of me i start to talk to them,
and one day i talk with a fat girl in the street, and she give me her phone number,
a few days later a another girl i meet in the super market give me her number,

and i start to go out 3 times a week,

do bar game if you can, its easier, and do street game when the girls go home from the bars,
they are drunk, they maybe feel lonely, and they are maybe even are horny after dancing with lots of guys,
and her friends are not ther to cock block you,
__________________
 
Login or register to post.
#4
Phospher

Phospher

Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/04/2012 | Posts: 1279

 how about stop fapping?
__________________
 Vibe can't stop!
Login or register to post.
#5

Jon Herzog

Member

Join Date: 08/11/2011 | Posts: 87

I think when Tyler talked about lowering standards, it wasn't about lowering standards for women, but lowering your standards for what you count as doing well for yourself.  So, here's what you can do to help get in that mindset.  Get a journal, before you go out, set the following goal "Talk to one woman."  If you talk to one woman by the end of the night, check off that goal.  Then, the next time you go out, set  a goal of "talk to three women" then "talk to five."  Once you have done that, you can set a goal like "keep up a one minute conversation" then "keep up three one minute conversations" etc etc.  Every time you can go home and check off your goal as done, you are making progress towards your ultimate goal of being good with women.  
Stinkfist wrote:
  I'm still new to this, this is my second week of going out solo as a hardcase newbie

I heard a lot of people talking about lowering your standard if you're new to this, but I can't seem to be able to do it.

If anyone has any pointers on how they lost their bullshit protective persona while still feeling entitled enough to open a total stranger will be appreciated.
It's very weird, I can't understand it, not being able to "lower my standards" when I actually have none...(full blown virgin). I know it's mainly about dropping one's ego, and building momentum but it kinda suck being stuck at the ground floor :)

Found a lot of cool threads and inspiration, the dropping the looser mentality from viciousskills was of great help to me


So far I haven't been able to do my first approach as I'm working on more basic stuff like eye contact and what not (more details in my FR thread).

I was wondering if anyone had any insights on the subject or how they managed the situation as a hardcase noobie.

Thanks




Login or register to post.
#6
RezznT!

RezznT!

Senior Member

Join Date: 04/06/2010 | Posts: 202

Seriously, just get wings who will push you initially. Give them money to force yourself to approach. Join the RSD Inner Circle, post on either this forum or ANY PUA forum until you have some wings to go out with. You probably won't be able to get good at this on your own just because of the massive amount of willpower it takes to start on your own.
__________________
 
Login or register to post.
#7

Free style

Respected Member

Join Date: 07/21/2012 | Posts: 588

OP it sort of seems like its possssssible that you may be way overloaded with theory as opposed to your own personal experiences. I may be wrong. But for me personally how to get over a lot what you're talking about is simply going out more. I've gone out 8 of the last 9 days. Or 9 of the last 10 days something like that. Which isn't a shit load by ANY means but I have noticed that I give wayyyy less of a shit and will talk to anyone. Who cares.
Login or register to post.
#8

PUARain2

Senior Member

Join Date: 08/19/2012 | Posts: 196

 1) you're probably not going to get laid from your shitty approaches if you just started therefore...
2) approach any girl to just get practice. think of it as practice
3) you can just troll the ugly instead of actually gaming

i have this problem too and i absolutely avoid talking to fatties, but if theres no one around i will  to get the social juices moving
__________________
 PM me if you're in Ithaca or Syracuse (mainly Ithaca)
Login or register to post.
#9

Stinkfist

Member

Join Date: 08/20/2012 | Posts: 46

 Holy crap guys! your reponses are really heartwarming! I was expecting all the answers would be just some pseudo fake imitation of jeffy's internet persona, but I'm really glad that this community is very accepting and pushing its members forward.
 
Wish I could say I did my 1st approach but I didn't so far, I said I'll do it this week no matter what so I technically still have 4 days from today, I won't disapoint you guys, I made a promise to myself! I'll bust through this! I even started to adjust my day as to be gaming in the most affluent times so no excuses, after midnight rare are the easy sets I can open.

Also a lot of people have been talking about shame and being shameless (lateralus iirc), and it really pinpointed my main problem watching a couple of John Bradshaw vids on the internet is that I'm shameful, and my instinctual reaction is to go into hiding when resistance shows its face, he says "shameful people live in secrecy".

here's a snippet where he talks about it:



But I can't thank you guys enough, hope I'll soon be the kinda guy to share knowledge with you :)
__________________
HOPELESS HARDCASE CHRONICLES : Field Report
Login or register to post.
#10

midwestgame

Respected Member

Join Date: 09/30/2012 | Posts: 689

what the fuck, a hardcase who has high standards? thats retarded
Login or register to post.