THE FORUMS

March 29th, 2017
Knowing and doing
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#21
alyosha11

alyosha11

Respected Member

Join Date: 08/17/2009 | Posts: 342

Why are you posting here if you don't want to learn game? lol. From what i can tell from your posts, you're looking for a magic pill to give you the willpower to do.... the things you think you should be doing? Even though you don't really want to do them..... what the fuck lol.

You're not intelligent, you're fucking weak. Stop consuming material like a little black hole and figure out what you want. This is your life and it's ending one minute at a time.
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#22
The Baverien

The Baverien

Senior Member

Join Date: 04/11/2011 | Posts: 239

Gibson wrote:
 Ok, so I watched that Youtube video from Jeffy...  I understand what he's saying, but there's one thing missing.  He says to adopt the lifestyle, but there's no HOW.  I mentioned before that I know what to do from reading/watching/etc, but how do I actually take what I know and apply it?  
I completely agree with you on those lines. Im mostly in the same place as you. I acquired a huge knowledge about self-help and like you I know in many situation whats the best but I still cannot follow through.

You everywhere read WHAT you have to do but really seldom what is even more important the HOW.

I would know many things I could do better but when I start doing it I soon cannot follow through anymore and I fall back in my "normal" rhythm. 

What you have to know about motivation is that it doesnt just come. When youre sitting at home and waiting for motivation it probably never will come. Theres a misunderstanding. You first have to take action and afterwards you get motivated. Theres also I really good video posted here in the forums about that topic. Check it out:




As far as I found solutions that might help me:

Learn how to develop willpower that you can take action even you dont feel like to. This is huge! 

Once you pushed yourself in a new habit it gets to a routine and consequently easier. (you wont need so much willpower anymore to do it again).

What also helped me a lot were friends which are also into personal development. They will help you to push yourself and put the leverage on you to go out of your flat even if you dont "feel" like doing it.
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#23
Gibson

Gibson

Senior Member

Join Date: 03/30/2010 | Posts: 295

alyosha11 wrote:
Why are you posting here if you don't want to learn game? lol. From what i can tell from your posts, you're looking for a magic pill to give you the willpower to do.... the things you think you should be doing? Even though you don't really want to do them..... what the fuck lol.

You're not intelligent, you're fucking weak. Stop consuming material like a little black hole and figure out what you want. This is your life and it's ending one minute at a time.
Because I think that the content offered by this group goes beyond just "spitting game" and "hooking up."  I think, at its deepest levels, the information given out by this group can be applied to more areas of ones life than just getting some skank to sleep with you.  

Intelligence and weakness aren't mutually exclusive.  I'm both, honestly.  In my own eyes anyway...  

I want to figure out how to get motivated.  I don't want anything enough to work for it.  Well, work for anything aside from things I already work towards like money, a place to live, food, etc.  I don't see sex, relationships, whatever as a requirement.  I see it as a nicety and I don't know how to change that.  I've got it in my head that it's a nicety because I've lived without it for nigh on 30 years...  Therefore, it CAN'T be a requirement for life...  But it is.  I have this internal conflict that's eating me from the inside out.

But you know, go ahead and just call me a choad and be done with it.  Whatever.
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#24
Gibson

Gibson

Senior Member

Join Date: 03/30/2010 | Posts: 295

The Baverien wrote:

Gibson wrote:
 Ok, so I watched that Youtube video from Jeffy...  I understand what he's saying, but there's one thing missing.  He says to adopt the lifestyle, but there's no HOW.  I mentioned before that I know what to do from reading/watching/etc, but how do I actually take what I know and apply it?  
I completely agree with you on those lines. Im mostly in the same place as you. I acquired a huge knowledge about self-help and like you I know in many situation whats the best but I still cannot follow through.

You everywhere read WHAT you have to do but really seldom what is even more important the HOW.

I would know many things I could do better but when I start doing it I soon cannot follow through anymore and I fall back in my "normal" rhythm. 

What you have to know about motivation is that it doesnt just come. When youre sitting at home and waiting for motivation it probably never will come. Theres a misunderstanding. You first have to take action and afterwards you get motivated. Theres also I really good video posted here in the forums about that topic. Check it out:




As far as I found solutions that might help me:

Learn how to develop willpower that you can take action even you dont feel like to. This is huge! 

Once you pushed yourself in a new habit it gets to a routine and consequently easier. (you wont need so much willpower anymore to do it again).

What also helped me a lot were friends which are also into personal development. They will help you to push yourself and put the leverage on you to go out of your flat even if you dont "feel" like doing it.


I'm dog-earing this for later when I can watch the vid.  I agree with you completely.  That's exactly my problem.  I have friends that try to get me out, but I very rarely take them up on it.  They call me repeatedly and I just don't answer because I want to avoid the conflict when I tell them I don't want to go.  I feel like a piece of shit for doing it, but I just don't want to go...  Shit, I'm lucky they're still my friends...
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#25
The Baverien

The Baverien

Senior Member

Join Date: 04/11/2011 | Posts: 239

Youve to learn to do it even you dont feel like to. This will be the solution to many of your problems. Often times you have "false" believes why the night out will be not good.

A nice exercise to examine how your mind is playing games on you: rate how you imagine your evening from 1-10 and then rate the evening when youre coming back. You will be surprised. I oftentimes also dont feel like going out but 90% after being out Im always happy that I did it. Man just think about it. theres nothing more beautiful in life than to get to know gorgeous and fun girls...

Its not easy but thats the reason why most people fail to change.

Gibson wrote:
I have friends that try to get me out, but I very rarely take them up on it.  They call me repeatedly and I just don't answer because I want to avoid the conflict when I tell them I don't want to go.  I feel like a piece of shit for doing it, but I just don't want to go...  Shit, I'm lucky they're still my friends...
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#26
Gibson

Gibson

Senior Member

Join Date: 03/30/2010 | Posts: 295

The Baverien wrote:

Youve to learn to do it even you dont feel like to. This will be the solution to many of your problems. Often times you have "false" believes why the night out will be not good.

A nice exercise to examine how your mind is playing games on you: rate how you imagine your evening from 1-10 and then rate the evening when youre coming back. You will be surprised. I oftentimes also dont feel like going out but 90% after being out Im always happy that I did it.

Its not easy but thats the reason why most people fail to change.

Gibson wrote:
I have friends that try to get me out, but I very rarely take them up on it.  They call me repeatedly and I just don't answer because I want to avoid the conflict when I tell them I don't want to go.  I feel like a piece of shit for doing it, but I just don't want to go...  Shit, I'm lucky they're still my friends...
You're 100% correct.  I know I need to do this, but for some reason I can't.  In my current state I would evaluate a night out as a 2, rate staying home probably at a 4-6 and decide to stay home.  Therefore I never find out what the night out could have been.  I can never consciously make that decision because I can't convince myself to do something I don't want to do.  I know that it's mostly in my head and that I'll probably have a good time, but not enough to actually get my ass off the couch...
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#27

Tensai

Junior Member

Join Date: 10/09/2012 | Posts: 10

I'm not sure what the problem is? Why push yourself to do something you don't want to? You seem content in living your boring, virgin life. If your happy, then just keep doing it. Just as not every man is born to be a king, not every man is born to pimp it. Most are happy just to be pheasants. Not everyone feels the need to improve, push themselves, become stronger, and live an exciting life. Actually, most poeple on the planet are probably like you, content with just being spectators, enjoying normal life. Nothing wrong with that. 

If you happy, why change? If doesn't motivate you, then find something else to do. 

But if your not content, you have this deep burning desire in yourself to change, then all you have to do is JUST DO IT. Stop posting on forums, stop reading crap, stop making all these excuses like "how do i motivate myself? I'm intelligent.. blah blah", just shut everything up. It's all excuses. Just tell yourself your going to do this, going to go out tonight, and talk to 10 girls NO MATTER WHAT. And see where the adventure takes you. If you can't even do that for yourself, then your probably not cut out for this. 
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#28
alyosha11

alyosha11

Respected Member

Join Date: 08/17/2009 | Posts: 342

Tensai wrote:
I'm not sure what the problem is? Why push yourself to do something you don't want to? You seem content in living your boring, virgin life. If your happy, then just keep doing it. Just as not every man is born to be a king, not every man is born to pimp it. Most are happy just to be pheasants. Not everyone feels the need to improve, push themselves, become stronger, and live an exciting life. Actually, most poeple on the planet are probably like you, content with just being spectators, enjoying normal life. Nothing wrong with that. 

If you happy, why change? If doesn't motivate you, then find something else to do. 

But if your not content, you have this deep burning desire in yourself to change, then all you have to do is JUST DO IT. Stop posting on forums, stop reading crap, stop making all these excuses like "how do i motivate myself? I'm intelligent.. blah blah", just shut everything up. It's all excuses. Just tell yourself your going to do this, going to go out tonight, and talk to 10 girls NO MATTER WHAT. And see where the adventure takes you. If you can't even do that for yourself, then your probably not cut out for this. 
best first post i've ever seen, god damn!
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#29
Gibson

Gibson

Senior Member

Join Date: 03/30/2010 | Posts: 295

Tensai wrote:
I'm not sure what the problem is? Why push yourself to do something you don't want to? You seem content in living your boring, virgin life. If your happy, then just keep doing it. Just as not every man is born to be a king, not every man is born to pimp it. Most are happy just to be pheasants. Not everyone feels the need to improve, push themselves, become stronger, and live an exciting life. Actually, most poeple on the planet are probably like you, content with just being spectators, enjoying normal life. Nothing wrong with that. 

If you happy, why change? If doesn't motivate you, then find something else to do. 

But if your not content, you have this deep burning desire in yourself to change, then all you have to do is JUST DO IT. Stop posting on forums, stop reading crap, stop making all these excuses like "how do i motivate myself? I'm intelligent.. blah blah", just shut everything up. It's all excuses. Just tell yourself your going to do this, going to go out tonight, and talk to 10 girls NO MATTER WHAT. And see where the adventure takes you. If you can't even do that for yourself, then your probably not cut out for this. 
I agree, but even peasants (everyone is pheasants, lol) and spectators get some every once in a while...  I'm perfectly happy not being a leader of men or a mover and or/shaker, but I'd still love a companion for the not-so-bumpy ride.

I want to learn to push myself so I can actually attain things I truly want in life regardless of the shit I may have to muck through to get it.

That's the thing.  It's a gray scale.  I can tell myself everything in the world and nothing helps.  I go to chicago and walk up 20 floors because I can't convince myself to take the elevator.  I drive cross-country to Tampa, Boston, Chicago, Atlanta and other destinations because I can't convince myself to fly in a plane.  I have no mental control over what I do beyond my basic needs to survive.  I love learning.  I read a lot.  I watch a lot of TV (Discovery, Science Channel, Jeopardy, shit like that).  I don't DO much of anything.  I run conventions across the country, but that's about all I actually *do* with my time outside of work.  I can tell myself anything and I won't listen to myself.  Sitting in a chair chanting a mantra doesn't help.  I've tried it.  
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#30
Gibson

Gibson

Senior Member

Join Date: 03/30/2010 | Posts: 295

Buddha with a boner wrote:

Gibson wrote:

Sajor wrote:
Gibson, you say your a virgin, well stop masturbating for a good month, youll see how motivated you get lol,
I've tried that multiple times and never get past a week.  I need to try something different.  Insanity is, after all, doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result...
Exactly. And that's why you gotta keep it up for longer than a week. Insanity is, after all, doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result ;)
Easier said than done...  :(
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