January 16th, 2019
2000th Post: Distant Lights Philosophy Of An Attractive Man (Very Long)
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Distant Light

Distant Light

Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/22/2006 | Posts: 2390

Once again life circumstances, I won't reach my 2000th post no time soon so will put the article out now...

NOTE:I've learnt alot from all sorts of people, this is the knowledge/truths I picked up based on my experiences and lessons learnt. As always, I won't mention anything that I haven't actually explored. Explore what resonates with you and ignore the rest. Prepare for your world to be challenged as you ponder bigger pictures...

"A Year Of Drastic Change"
This past year was MINDBLOWING and by far the most exciting time of my life. I can honestly say if I died right now, I still would be highly pleased with the run I've had. First lets get to abit of "MYTHBUSTERS"...
- My whole life was developed through COLD APPROACH, you can't drastically build a lifestyle without becoming COMPETENT at cold approaching. DO NOT FOCUS ON COLD APPROACH MASTERY
- Social Circle isn't what "community culture" makes it out to be so don't make assumptions just read on. If you're lazy or not into being a social person then there is a alternate path that I will address that still provides abundant choices.

An so we begin down this long road, you might want one... (or a few)

Cold Approach Mastery Is UNPROFITABLE
Your life will pass you by if you spend your life TRYING to gain "cold approach mastery"...

You will be 3YRs in and have absolutely NOTHING to show for it besides a few epic stories. You will also find it TIME CONSUMING just to even get abit of consistency. The most consistent community guy I know was an ex-rsd-intern for nathan! In maybe, 2 weeks he banged 12 different girls BUT he rarely slept or did anything else due to working, working out and going out to meet chicks. Keep in mind, he isn't the most consistent guy I know nor is my other friend I met throught then community who probably banged 100 women during the daytime SAMEDAY.

Its only when I went venturing in an unexplored area where naturals and "chodes" ventured in abundance. When I say "chode" I mean, male model looking guys, wealthy men and famous men who get LITTLE TO NO GIRLS WHATSOEVER. I have personally seen a text from a football QB who cursed out one of my gals via text cause instead of hanging with him she was club hoppin with ME. However, this scene expanded my awareness...

They say based on your environment you adapt, well dozens of men in this scene (both "high end" and "edgy hipsters") lived a life that almost seemed unrealistic in the normal sense. While some were better than others in terms of mindset and way of being THEY ALL on some level lived a lifestyle that had women as the "background noise". They were in their lives but didn't play a significant part in the grand scheme of things.

Take a bottle and drink slowly as you read on...

Cold Approach Mastery = Most Inconsistent Way
This is how I learnt COLD APPROACH is just a TOOL...

The men who were naturally attractive and simply living there lives that had women come along with them were having MUCH MORE OPPORTUNITIES to hookup and way better quality due to their environment. I met dozens of guys who were either consistently hooking up or had women wanting to hookup with them.

I might be going abit far BUT community dudes are generally right there with your average good looking normal guy and wealthy man. They will get a few here and there due to something I'll bring up later. Only difference a community guy can INCREASE HIS ODDS SLIGHTLY MORE than the good looking or wealthy guys.

Why All The Inconsistency?
Majority of men are are TRYING to get women...

See women are sorta pressured as the man chases THINKING HE IS ALPHA. Little does he know she knows she can have HIM and all the other guys which are now in THE POOL OF CHASERS...

Yes, women are horny and they want to have fun living a social/sex life no matter how boring or shitty it is SO she is forced to choose the BEST OF THE CHASERS in her pool. Most guys are getting laid due to women not being able to wait for a legit fascinating man to show up. COMMUNITY DUDES happen to be efficient CHASERS so thats why they will sometimes be less INCONSISTENT than your average male model or rich guy.

Almost all men at some point will notice some form of this...
- Flaking on a Day2
- No sex day 1, 2 or 3
- No textback
- One minute she's fascinated next minute she isn't
- Girl goes for a different guy
- Instant ignore/rejection/blowout whether its off the opener, going for kiss

This is all due to being CHASERS and coming from such a horrible frame. You have little to no control and it takes tons of time/effort to actually have a vibrant sex life.

Alpha Males Are Given In Abundance
Recently, leonardo decaprio was dancing/chatting to one of my gals. She would've loved for an opportunity to HOOKUP...

Your thinking he's just a celeb BUT the guys I see who KILL IT are all "given in abundance". They don't have to chase ever (many do fallback to chasing on the hotter girls but that still doesn't fuckup their consistency in the larger picture) because women WANT THEM BADLY. The last week or so I've been out...
- I had to hear 2 girls CRYING due to my natural friends not fucking them anymore and instead FUCKED a different girl.
- I watched a female friend WAIT FOR MY BOY all night to see if he chooses her or a new girl who was on him. THEN 3 days later asks me to go to a club with her only to find out she wanted to see a guy she hooked up with before (She was hoping to be SELECTED problem was he was with 5-6 model type women) Keep in mind, it wasn't obvious she made it seem like it was a chode friend I knew based on his vibe what he was about as soon as I saw him.
- I watched a Bi-sexual chick go from complaining that my lesbain model friend won't take her home to hookup and instead is going for another girl. As a result, she hooks up with my other bi-sexual friend.
- I had a friend get pissed at me because I didn't bother pulling this chick who was as he called it IN LOVE WITH ME hanging on my ever word.

Thing is, when your a naturally attractive person, women will be compelled to chase so longs YOU ARE NOT CHASING or TRYING.

Foundations Of An Attractive Man
This should be the main focus of development by all community dudes, as you gain experience you will learn your likes and dislikes along with the forms of expressions aka "Outergame" that is congruent to you...

The #1 thing is a HIGH LEVEL OF SELF-WORTH, I'm talking about your own vision of what you consider LIFESTYLE. Your lifestyle is more important than ANY WOMAN and you should never allow a woman to waste your time EVER. Either she comes along or not.

What most men are lacking are STANDARDS/CRITERIA along with boundaries. This is how you don't waste time on women who aren't quality chicks (In your mind) and women who simply have there own issues and can't get with the program.

Now the SEXUALITY aspect is interesting since everyone expresses it differently but the core is... (will go in depth later)
- A social/fun/flirty vibe
- An unattainable vibe
- An uncontrollable vibe
- A sexually active vibe

Prepare For A Mindfuck!!!!
The major difference between man and woman is the fact that men are like wine and women are like fish. Both are great just a different life experience.

A man, can be a shitty wine or aged into perfection depending on how its developed. A woman can be any form of fish but when its first caught its fresh until it eventually becomes rotten.

For women the quality of their social/sex life is highly unpredicatble and based heavily on...
- Their LOOKS
- Their Social Circle

This is how a model chick could have a sick social life but a shitty sex life due to no one approaching her or very unsavory characters. Meanwhile an average chick is hit on a ton and have CRUISE SHIP SIZED POOL. Even more interesting, a MIDWESTERN PAGEAT MODEL moves to vegas rolling with a crew of glamour models getting the least attentiom. Regardless, every day that goes by new fish are turning 18/21 and each day those looks fade. Fresh fish is better than spoiled fish.

For men, if we choose too we could develop ourselves and gain some depth in our personality and the more we age is the more experience we have and the more possibilities and lessons we learn. You can get better and better at BEING YOU.

A girl and guy born in 1979, the hot woman who is now 33 isn't as hot as that 21 year old model who just walked in. HOWEVER, that 33 yr old man has developed such a sick lifestyle that not only does he have the 33 yr old with him but those 21 yr old models are with him too. They all want him and now its his CHOICE who he wants. Its due to men chasing we never realized WE ARE THE OPPORTUNITY and women are suppose to be chasing us. Now for the sad part...

The Unsung Dildo
In society its funny to laugh at man who gets no and jerks it to internet porn. But no one laughs at all the women dildoing themselves to sleep and are trying to keep it together internally cause their so horny.
- I've seen friendships between women end, most bizarre one chick yells at her friend who I am leaving with and then just grabs some random guy outside on the street who she possibly met in the club for 1min and hops in a taxi. My girl became homeless and had to leave NY. (She moved to U.S staying with that girl)
- Chick refusing my friend to fuck his gf at her house becauese if she heard them having sex again she'd cry. Keep in mind, she had sex the day before with some guy she knew and ran into end of the night. AND she also has a fucking BF.
- Sisters cockblocking each other and getting pissed. Chick wanted to leave her sister bag and phoneless all because she didnt want to wait 10mins for club to close out. Her explanation, cause when she ran into an old fuckbuddy her sister said she can't leave unless one of his friends fucks her.

Now an interesting example, model chick I know is engaged BUT its abit wierd...
- She enjoys being around me
- Bumped into each other after almost a 4-5 months in a GAY PARTY (My natural friend is bi-sexual) which she stated she disliked how much men CHASED HER in the usual venues I frequent.
- Met her fiance, business owner, laid-back kind of guy. Even invited me to a private event.

NOW, last time I seen her, as usual I was joking around so I told her I wanted her to meet my female friend so they could fuck around. SHE WAS DOWN (Her fiance's partner calls out to her not knowing who I am) I let her go.

We bump into each other later while she is with her fiance. She starts asking me about meeting all my GALS. I ask what's her type if she likes xyz type. She starts talking about how she wants to get eaten out by xyz type. Her fiance hears all this basically implying, "Don't bother introducing her, she's just drunk talking." When he says he doesn't like xyz type she just shut him down in a "this isn't about you, its about me". Even stating he should be thankful of having the potential 3some.

Its brutal!!! On the women side, Which leads me too...

The UnFabolous Life Of Women
Its always the same shitty story of women BORED waiting for a fucking metoer to hit and make their life exciting. THIS IS WHY YOU MUST LET THEM TAKE SOME RESPONSIBILITY FOR THEIR SOCIAL/SEX LIFE...

A woman's sex life is dependent on that POOL OF CHASERS unless a fascinating man shows up allowing for some new excitement to her life.

Ever notice women enter clubs LOOKING FOR FUN instead of working the room. Yep, as usual they are waiting around for CHASERS TO DO THEIR CHASING. All their doing is going out hoping to better their POOL. Ever notice once a girl gets a BF they usually don't go out OR if they do it just so happens they're still FOOLING AROUND WITH YOU.

The right man can drastically change her life, an epic social life along with sex. DAMN, lots of anxiety is lifted off her shoulders no more dildo nights for the time being. Its ironic, the 2 girls crying about my natural friends were crying about THERE LIFESTYLE ACCESS THAT HAS NOW ENDED. Need I say more?

Focus on living an incredible lifestyle...
You don't need to ever hit on chicks or TRY because you are naturally attractive. YOU ARE THE OPPORTUNITY...

The best route is developing your life around things your passionate about and continually take it to the next level. Allow people to come along by simply inviting them to come along. This is the highest form of expression as it shows WHAT YOU DO WITH YOUR LIFE.

Cold approach aka "socialize" during the day and night but focus more on living. What do you do in life? Welp invite people. You like watching some tv show bring 2-3 chicks over to chill and drink. You like shopping for food, bring 2-3 chicks along and to smoke with you later. (For you weed heads) You going out with your boys, bring 4-5 girls along. The gist is to always have women around you as you go about your life.

Use COLD APPROACH to accelerate that. But how do you interact if your no longer CHASING?

It is time to have women on your POLE...
"Emotions are like cocaine" does not matter her logic you set this frame she is compelled to chase especially if your THE RIGHT GUY. The gist of all this is "Women are willing to do anything with the right guy who creates the opportunity/excuse"

The method is legit...

Show Up & Give Opportunities/Excuses
You are the supermodel aka "The Opportunity"...

The whole game or SELF AMUSEMENT is how she wants your body and soul, the only way she gets you is if she NOT ONLY MEETS YOUR CRITERIA but IF YOU CHOOSE TO HOOKUP.

Whether she is interested or not is irrelevant, "does she meet your criteria? Are you going to choose her? Now? later today? Tomorrow? Next week?

The fun and self-amusement comes about based on how you create these opportunities/excuses for her to do what she already wants to do?

Masculine Polarity!?!?!?!
Early I mentioned, about the CORE of masculine sexuality, these IMO are the main pillars that have so many forms of expression that I can't really give TECHNIQUES. Only a description...

1st Pillar is the social/fun/flirty vibe whether your...
- Chillin in one spot in a bar/club
- Aloof/quiet randomly chatting on the street
- Bouncing around from group to group in a bar/club
- Upbeat bringing others into the interaction on the street

It doesn't matter, so longs you have a demeanor that your willing to socialize and highly enjoy the "potential" fun you can have interacting. The #1 killer is TRYING TO HIT ON WOMEN and any frame of you CHASING. The dynamic of the interaction should always range between being neutral (social/fun) or how she is after your body/soul (fun/flirty)

Why? When everything comes together she is COMPELLED to chase because your just being SOCIAL, there is no pressure on her to do whatever she wants to do. Your FUN so regardless they want to be around you and your FLIRTY in the manner that they want and like I say "its all fun and games til somedy gets fucked".

Bottomline, if she As you investigate, whether she suits you, you can go back n forth from social n flirty. If she doesn't meet your criteria for whatever reason you can revert to just remaining social/fun.

2nd Pillar is the unnattainable vibe which is rather easy once you have a basic idea of your criteria and boundaries. Its simply BEING WILLING TO WALK AWAY FROM ANYTHING that doesn't make the cut. The mere fact...
- You keep interactions SOCIAL and WILL NOT CHASE
- You have a criteria (and if they don't come close to those standards you friendzone or walk away)
- You have boundaries that you are willing to assert

To a woman who is fascinated or neutral become curious as to how to get you and why you are like this. When the frame is "she wants you" it becomes HER GAME of figuring out instead of the usual game where man chases as she strings them along.

3rd Pillar is the uncontrollable vibe which essentially...
- You go out to have a BLAST and bring people into that
- Your intentions aren't influenced by her BEAUTY.

When people interact they notice your just expressing yourself in the manner YOU ENJOY and with women they realize no matter how hot they are you are NOT CHANGING.

NOTE, as you interact more and more you'll uncover new ways of expressions that you love which you'll take on BUT that's not "calibration" its building depth and other forms of expressing the same concept. (My actions/expressions might not be what you you like, example dancing-like a druggie)

BOTTOMLINE, this is a PASSIVE SCREENING of people who will enjoy being around you and dislike you. It'll also show you which women can handle you and/or keep up with you. (I've met a girl who claimed she could only hang 1x a month because I was too wild)

4th pillar is "sexually active" vibe, which is the newest aspect for me personally that has become highly ingrained. Its all about conveying a massive level of SEXUAL INTELLIGENCE. "Normal" viewpoint aka "the majority" viewpoint of sex is almost always about irrelevant, meaningless and unprofitable things such as...
- Traditional dating aka "wasting time"
- Fascination of Intercourse & orgasms
- Lack of sexual expression almost to the point of asexuality
- Ego based tendencies (Dick size, lay count, quality validation)
- Fear based tendencies (Competent, Sexuality, Openness)
- Sex as a "power tool"

You need to change your whole viewpoint of sex. Its simply a FUN activity to express your sexuality and should be treated so. Which means you must drop all the cultural beliefs that binds you...
- Stop caring if you ever do anything sexually with any girl
- Stop caring if one girl see's you with another girl (or multiple women)
- Stop caring if another guy goes for your girl whether they simply exchange numbers or she kiss/fucks him RIGHT INFRONT OF YOU

TRADITIONAL DATING has nothing to do with actual sex. Once you set a dating frame its a whole interaction of "Where Is This Going?" You have now limited and cheapened the experience. ESPECIALLY if your chasing. I bet every dude who has done a date or day2 was thinking when will be the first time you have sex with her.

Sex is like dancing, if you wanna do it, just do it. If you TRULY want to have sex/fun just provide the opportunity/excuse. The key is that YOU MIGHT BE WILLING TO HOOKUP its never 100%. If she jumps at the opportunity/excuse then IF YOU SO CHOOSE GO.

I can't even express how much of a game changer this is. This is what has lead to grabbing/sucking tits for no reason and fingering in plain sight of a busy club. 3way makeouts, people getting naked in the club. Kissing women on the lips as a way of hi & bye. Women making out with other women.

When you have massive SEXUAL INTELLIGENCE you become so free sexually that women will be comfortable and calibrate to you. Keep in mind, I learnt most of this from lesbians, bi men/women and gays. (Straight men are more uptight/reserved) When I say I changed internally...

Lets go abit indepth on this "sexually active" vibe...
You might've thought STOP CARING was too extreme, from a normal cultural standpoint it seems that way til you make the jump. Note, these are just my expressions as a result of having this sexually active vibe but it might help you grasp an idea of what I am talking about...
- If you like 1, 2, 3, or all the girls in the group then give them all the opportunity to possibly be with you. SELECT WHO YOU WANT, if you like 2 or 3 in the group then have an orgy or propose the possibility of hooking up with 2nd or 3rd at another time.
- Always keep in mind "public sex 1st, common sex 2nd if at all". Sex to me is any form of sexual/fun based thing such as fingering her, lifting her skirt to quickly eat her out abit, intense petting, quick blowjob, 1min quickie. Its not about NORMAL BELIEF of sex, its about having fun in a sexual manner.
- If talking about sexual themes talk about it as if it was as common as people talking about work or sports. Many times I ask women what type of girls they like, if they're givers or receivers, if their screamers, etc. Keep in mind the whole time I am completely social/flirty/fun. I go as far as mentioning how I no longer have 1 on 1 sex anymore cause its boring.
- I sometimes through out my personal philosophical nuggets about how monogamy sucks and is highly limiting. This is always interesting as I seen almost 95% of women agree. 5% are into this true love "the untapped emotion" viewpoint. The feedback I got has really changed me and made me realize the women issues of social dynamics.

I understood why all this was solid shit after swapping stories with a natural friend. He met 2 girls fucked one on the club floor upstairs, fucked 2nd girl in the taxi then basically a 3some in the taxi. At the after party he fucked them both again. It dawned onto me the actual intercourse/orgasm didn't matter it was vibe created as a result of such sexual madness.

When partying I noticed if I was having a blast acting wild RANDOMLY girls would flock around, lesbians, bis and gays would be getting very frisky and any straight guy who was comptent would simply fool around with the random girls. This was very consistent, I've made out with lesbians, gay dudes TRYING TO FLIRT with me, table turning into a mess, trannies getting naked and next thing you know your in a taxi eating out a chick. I've even almost had sex in a single bathroom with 1 person peeing in the sink and 2 others doing drugs.

If you care about a guy getting on your girl or focused on a specific girl then your not going to be open or FREE enough to truly create this vibe. Especially if you want women to HIT YOU UP TO COME OVER!!!!!!!

The General Outergame
This is actually the easiest aspect to implement the main gist is SHOW UP and provide opportunities/excuses...
- No need to hit on girls or plow through resistance
- No no to build/gain attraction YOU ARE ATTRACTION
- No need for wasteful phone game
- No need to try/hope for anything sexual

- Show Up
- Give people the opportunity to meet you (few seconds to 5min interactions)
- If someone peaks your interest give your # and have them text you and/or simply give them the excuse/opportunity to "hookup"

Give # simply for social reasons and have her text you her name, its all about opportunities/excuses. Others might dislike that so just have her text you later in the night or another day. Others want to hookup asap so JUST CALL HER OUT or let her know you might be willing. Its all about being creative and see it as her opportunity/excuse. Heck, I've even said "Yo 5mins were leaving" and then we leave. Or randomly "Not sure if I can come over tonight will see"

TEXT GAME, she did text your name so you do have her number but its for LOGISTICS ONLY, for now on you only interact face to face. Either you are INVITING or HOOKING UP. Text her what your doing and that she is welcome to come along OR again a simply "Yea, I might be able to come over xyz day or xyz day". It doesn't matter if its random its HER OPPORTUNITY. Any BS just friendzone or simple move on. Examples...

Now there are different avenues to go about this based on how you enjoy being...
- "Fuck Lifestyle?", there are lots of people who could give two fucks about enjoying there life they just want pussy. Welp, you've been wasting tons of time doing daygame, following up, day2s. Simply follow the process above once you walk in and just get to the point either give your # and have her text later or hookup. LOW KEY GUYS, just chill in the high traffic area chatting to those who peak your interest. SOCIAL GUYS, bounce around see which ones you will give your # too and then pull whoever you want.
- Roll with your good friends and bring along a few random girls you've met whether sameday or last time you were out. Either hang in a group bringing new people in as the walk by OR work the room every so often and bring people in. Give # to a few and and hookup with your choice.

The above is low skill stuff compared too...

Building A Sick Lifestyle!!!!!!!!!
When you are near death can you say you LIVED and truly enjoyed you life? Did you consistently have the experiences you seeked? No regrets?

The gist is focusing on your areas of interest, leveraging it and bringing people into it to see what you consider LIFESTYLE. This is also a massive excuse/opportunity for women to get close to you because while it is all social. She knows your attractive and wants you so its a great access to you without any pressure.

What do you like to do? What do you normally enjoy? How can you bring people into it?

The foundation
- YOUR SOCIAL NETWORK, hand selected by you consisting of your close guy friend and all the women you meet whether "pending", sexual with or friendzoned. YOU CHOOSE YOUR SOCIAL CIRCLE based on who you cold approach. Its always growing every time you gonout.
- OTHER SOCIAL CIRCLES, is what causes a potential active social life 24/7. You dont even need to create your own. This allows you to bring others in. Your like a special guest in the main cast. Of course be proactive seeing if its a circle you enjoy.
- CONNECTED to all to all your favorite venues/businesses. On a small scale its just doing what you do. However, depending on yourn interests you can get massive perks especially when you know the staff.
- RESOURCES, by knowing other men especially if cool and/or wealthy you can pool resources since you know tons of women. You will know more women than you can ever actually hookup with and random people will love to use their place as pregame or after party spot. Heck need a van to roadtrip somewhere with a group of girls random dudes are in.

I can't begin to describe the avenues women will be coming from and YOU ARE NOT CHASING NOR TRYING.
- Women you meet through cold approach
- Women you met through cold approach that brought their friends
- Women in all the OTHER SOCIAL CIRCLES
- Your WINGMANs who bring girls along
- Randoms who have seen you are living life (I have met random people who remembered me from large festivals, not once or twice many times)

Its ridiculous to the point that I am a flaky girl, last time I was out bumped into this gorgoeus bottle girl who was all over me and wanted to leave the guy she was with to bounce to the next club. The other night random girl says she knows me next thing you know I makeout with her and later I am in her friend apartment making out with the friend.

Best of all I am doing NOTHING just simply doing what I love to do hahahahaha...

P.S...Many of the concepts I mention are present...
- Not only connected in the "high end" scene but also "edgy hipsters" and "burning man warehouse parties". Also out DAY n NIGHT. Certain clips I am clearly having a blast.
- Wide range of interactions with a crew, solo, met a crew.
- NON COMMUNITY FRIENDS getting it done.
- Get a gist of my sexually active vibe and how I create opportunities.

Any questions just shoot I'll check back from time to time...
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Respected Member

Join Date: 12/06/2011 | Posts: 740


Spot for sale

Edit: Spot Sold to ....

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Respected Member

Join Date: 12/08/2011 | Posts: 329

 this is awesome. everything you right always fascinates me to go out and "EXPLORE" the world. 
Looking for a solid wing. 
Chicago - Daygame / Nightgame
No Path No Journey - My Journal
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Respected Member

Join Date: 04/10/2012 | Posts: 793


Awesome post and cool video
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Senior Member

Join Date: 07/16/2012 | Posts: 285

How does this apply to somebody completly new? Are you hinting that instead of going "approach approach approach" you should go "fun fun, hmmm, interesting - approach, fun fun" but thing is, if you're new, you don't express yourself "sexually" or whatever, as you might wanna, due to not "sexual intelligence". So... *shrugs* What should an utter newbie take from this post? Or should somebody new stay away from it and just go out go out go out and approach approach approach?
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Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/25/2009 | Posts: 1481

You make a lot of sense and this is definitely a really good post but it's hard to implement until you are at a certain stage IMO. That stage is when you're rotating a few girls or whatever which I'm not at because girls fall off from the face of the earth for whatever reason over time (or quickly). I've been telling myself to focus way more on business/lifestyle long term AFTER I get a few girls (so I don't stay alone at home all the time working and not seeing girls + sex every now and then) but ya hard to keep them around for me at this point for various reasons out of control/mistakes. So I keep going out chasing hoping the next one I like and want to hangout around longer.

I 100% agree with your post though, I find cold approach only is like a "short term" strategy of 1-3 years (depending on what level you started at, me it was really low). Gotta look at the bigger picture, 5+ years down the road. At the same time, it's hard not to get caught in the let's go out a shit ton man.. I bet I can improve... pull stunners... It can happen but it's very random. It's kinda like a carrot on the stick though. I pull the hot girl, fuck and I'm like fuck yeah! So I'm ready to go out a shiton of nights again and hopefully fuck another hot girl but ... it's still quite random... I could either keep going out 5-6 nights a week or focus on other activities, make more $ and eventually make my own parties if I want. Cold approach only is not something I can maintain for 5-10 years like RSD instructors who are forced to travel anyway, it's definitely really good to have and I would have a hard time going back but I think as I enter my 4th year in game I'm really gonna go back to focusing on lifestyle as you seem to have done. As I started game like most newbies I was starting a lot of activities, improv, reading a lot, mma, applying at my job harder, dance classes which is what I did in my first 1-2 years.. mostly developing myself hoping I can become cooler. It happend and then my third year I'm pulling every few weeks and it's way more exciting (in the short term) but it's pulling me away from the other stuff I like...
My FR Thread, My newer blog on health expirements/nutrition & my blog on making money online since late 2010 (SEO mostly, outdated now since I do PPC since 2012 and stopped updating it)
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Respected Member

Join Date: 06/13/2009 | Posts: 587

 Great fucking post dude!

I too have realized that when I'm more focused on having fun and interacting with EVERYONE instead of just girls (in a sense its sort of letting girls go and kind of ignoring them at times for the greater fun that lures them in) is when I pull most.
You ain't seen nothing yet.

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Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/04/2012 | Posts: 1279

 This post is mindblowing

Dont know what to think yet,
 Vibe can't stop!
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Join Date: 09/02/2012 | Posts: 44

I loved the "Building a Sick Lifestyle" part. What if someone doesn't really have a core group of friends or social circle. Where do you suggest they start out with? I was thinking just inviting girls to grab a coffee or something to eat.

Perhaps this advice is above my skill level?
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Martin Crowe

Martin Crowe

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Join Date: 11/11/2008 | Posts: 611

Best post on main forum I've seen in a long time. Much truth and eloquent elucidation here. 
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Junior Member

Join Date: 08/31/2012 | Posts: 4

 Hey Distant Light. Awesome post, as somehow expected. Please put this in your signature together with the other “My Big TOE” post, so people don’t miss this.

I’d like to know something – some of the other guys asked this. Where did you make the transition from being a regular guy – and chaser, to shifting your mindset to the total opposite? I’m thinking of you when starting out, you probably didn’t have the necessary results/data/experience to backup your current model of reality. Of course it is a gradual progress with small steps at a time in the right direction, but having coming from your frame and with your TOE in the back of your head, it seems like it is reinforcing. Same thing for a newbie who haven’t internalized similar concept of your yet.

Other than the typical My Big TOE advice: “Go and seek/explore for yourself”, there must have been at least some memorable experience which gave you the experience to evolve in this direction. Not to chase and DEEPLY knowing that you are the price, and not let it be some kind of weird affirmation or just a belief. If you hand this post to a complete newbie I highly doubt anything would change at all, simply because it is not applicable to his current level yet. So – How did you change this mindset of chasing, and how to approach this level of social dynamics as a newbie?

This might be a paradoxical question considering Toms quote
“Do not worry about the future, it will come upon you gradually and only as you are ready for it – there are no big bumps or sudden transitions – you grow gradually from one stage to the next. Everything will open and become available as you need it and can profitably use it (not necessarily as you want it), no loose ends will be left flapping about. Your transitions will not come at the expense of others.”

I hope my question is understandable. I know you speak briefly about this, but I would love to have some elaboration on this.
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