THE FORUMS

Tuesday 7/8

Been so long since i've been at the club, around 4 or 5 weeks. Crazy. Been wallowing at home for the entire time, butthurt about losing the job, frustrated at having nothing to do, hating the fact that i'm losing the flat and ashamed that I have to move back in with my dad after such a short period of independence. Something clicked over the weekend where I realized I just need to man the fuck up and make the most of the time I have left in the city and stop putting everything on hold just because one part of my life is malfunctioning. So i'm broke, jobless and soon to be homeless... I can still pick up chicks. At the end of the day it's one of the only good things you can do when you're out of cash and out of work; sex is free, and the club is only £1 on Tuesdays....

I spend the morning reading through my field reports and rediscovering the old fire, then I head out for a walk in the afternoon, reading out in the sun for hours and coming to a pretty clear state of mind. Nice and refreshing. I head home, get dinner, and hit the club solo around 12.30

I'm extremely nervous, probably the most nervous i've ever been on a night out. Straight up - legs are shaking as I walk down the stairs. But I also feel a sort of calm behind it, knowing that i've done this so many times and that I just need to take it babysteps at a time and not get frustrated with poor results. I don't set myself any goals for the night, apart from approaching at least 4 girls (£1 passes weren't around so entry cost £4 – I figure £1 per approach is a pretty decent deal at this point lol).

I get into the club and lose my nervousness, seeing the environment as just a more compact version of the busy street outside, but it takes me a long time to start spotting sets and actually choose a girl I want. It takes me even longer to convince myself to approach. I count down from 10 out loud (to make it real) and, with the greatest effort its ever cost me, head in to the cutest girl I can see – tall brunette in a 3 set of cute girls.
“Ey, who're you?” surprisingly good. Decent eye contact, average tonality – and ozzie's fear technology ensures I go in authentic as fuck.
Fluff talk for a bit and my verbals are laughably bad. I survive two minutes by engaging the entire group and being almost 100% friendly, but I throw in a little bit of physicality with the target so I don't feel like a fag. The girls slowly eject one by one but I got my two minutes. Warmed up.

It takes me another 10-15 minutes to approach another set. I end up opting for a challenge set because it's the most obvious thing in front of me – pimp vision (the ability to pick out moving sets quickly) just isn't active at this point lol. Hottest girl in the club, tall blondie at the bar; a muscly rugby dude is buying her a drink.
That one.
I do the slow trudging walk towards them, the bail at the last second cos she's got her hand full of shots. I almost run away to the other end of the bar but I force myself to turn back and approach her anyway. So painful.
“Hey guys, is this the best place to go tonight?” Average open, I survive about a minute then have to keep re-engaging to get my full two minutes lol. Dragging the girl back by the arm, blocking her path, stopping the guys from cutting me out, talking loud enough to force them into spectator mode... so fucking sketchy. And scary. And fun :)

I run into a couple of people I know, including some old sets I never fully closed. I reopen but they don't go anywhere. I get water and chill for a bit, then see a tiny blonde in a cool top - she's so wee she looks like a wee sexy smurf.
Go go go.
“Ey, who are you?” Much better open – eye contract is strong, voice is powerful and dominant, body language is reflecting my chill and happy state.
“What??” She looks extremely confused but giggles when I hold the eye contact silently for a bit.
“I just thought you were cute, I wanted to say hey. What's your name?”
“Smurfette.”
“Cool. You're cute smurfette. I like your top. Where did you get it?” lame verbals with awesome tonality - winning combination.
Fluff talk for a bit. She gets flustered and keeps saying how weird the situation is and that my eyes are amazing (both true). I do some light push pull stuff so its not too intense and go really smooth on the physicality, pulling on her beltloops, playing with her hands, hugging her, clawing her. The girl's really cute, super petite and only just over 5ft in heels – more than a foot shorter than me, I have to bend quite far to hug her. We fuck around for a bit and I befriend her friends. It's cool. I 'buy' her free water because she says she's too hot, then realise it would be a better idea to drag her outside for some air. I bring it up and extract super fucking naturally.

We hang outside for a bit and have proper conversation away from the blasting speakers. I tease her for being a 5ft smurf and getting all her clothes from River Island like a homosexual. I go for the makeout for a few times but she gives me the cheek turn each time and laughs about how weird this is and that she doesn't know me. I back off a bit and stop escalating so hard, then I exaggerate it by stepping back to far so she has to come to me. Memories of Ozzie in transformations - “she cannat hear so she has to cahm cloooooossser, ce?” totally misinterpreted but it worked well anyway. She keeps talking about how weird it is but can't take her eyes off me. It's a sad wee dilema for her. I make it easier by saying flat out that it's not real, that the situation is not happening, and that the entire night is a work of romantic fiction, like The Hunger Games. I illustrate the point by drawing an imaginary line on the ground and saying that anything that happens over the line 'doesn't count'. Funny and effective. Makeout ensues and it's gooood; best makeout i've had since Flawless.

I stay with her outside the club until i'm sure she's fully comfortable, then drag her off for an adventure. I babystep it, telling her i'm nervous too, but that i'll regret it if I don't get any one on one time with her away from the bouncers (makes no sense) and letting her know that we're technically still over The Line, so it's ok.
“Yeah, I suppose.... yeah cool that makes sense.”
Lol.
I take her to the little park area just up from the club and she tries to shit-test me a bit to make sure i'm for real. I ignore and just start talking about my writing and the books I like. She gets super into it.

Conversation in the park lasts around 10-15 minutes, interspersed with random makeouts, and after a couple of minutes my game becomes TIGHT AS FUCK. I wish I could write down all the details, but there was a lot going on and it was super slow and drawn out. I play around with the slight mysterioso frame, mixed with the shyness I talked about before, making myself vulnerable. I touch on some deep subjects, go into funny anecdotes about my friends, talk about my writing, tease her for being a smurf, and mix everything up so it's like she's known me for years. I get her to open up a bit in return, then put her in the driving seat for the briefest of moments, letting her demand what she wants from me – she decides she wants to read the short stories i've been telling her about. Inevitable. I frame the situation so it's like she's using the prospect of sex just to get closer to my work, then semi-reluctantly lead her home. She pauses for a tiny second, then asks if I just like her for sex.
I stop and look deep into her eyes.
“No. I just like you.”
We go home together.

I switch it up again when we get nearer my flat and take on a more dominant role, culminating in me carrying over the threshold. It's easy to be macho when the girl you're carrying weighs less than a pencil lol. We makeout on the balcony and look at the stars, then I lead her inside. I give her a quick tour, then take her into my room and show her my kindle. She demands to see my writing. I hesitate and make myself more vulnerable, telling her i'm insecure about a lot of my unfinished pieces. I eventually concede and let her sit on my knee while she reads a sad wee story i wrote about TV addiction. I kiss her on the neck and gently feel her up as she reads. Her eyes well up at the end and I wordlessly lift her up and carry her over to the bed.

Some LMR when I try to take of the bra, but I handle it smooth as fuck. Understanding, unreactive, telling her its ok to be shy about sex, lot of girls still are at her age (19). She pouts and strongly denies being uncomfortable with sex. Obviously. We get to it.

She's the tightest girl i've ever had, and the first session stops halfway through because i'm hurting her. We go slow but it's still too much. We try again later and she's so tight it's almost uncomfortable for me too. Crazy. We stop completely and the vibe goes downhill throughout the night, with her constantly fucking with me and trying to be bitchy – all of it just under the surface. I start to get fed up with it. Proper sex seems completely out of reach – she's only still here because her friends are out of the picture until around 7am.

I give her the cold shoulder and make her sleep with no covers, call her out for being a psycho, put the lights on when she's just about to fall asleep, ignore her when she talks shit etc. Being a total dick and laughing about it. I keep it up just long enough for her to give up, then get gentle with her and let her cuddle up with me under the covers. Its really intimate. We start subcommunicating with tiny little touches and breathing sounds, both of us pretending to be asleep, but with me physically escalating a tiny tiny bit at a time and pulling back to make it seem accidental.
Oops, accidental grind.
Oops, accidental thigh stroke.
It's not me, i'm sleeping – you're just getting in the way of my dream movements.
I get complex and start slowly and softly hitting up her sweet spots on her arms, neck, thighs, stomach etc. I let her doubt it, let her think i'm in a state of semi-sleep and just trying to get comfortble. I pull away for long intervals, until her breathing becomes so silent I can tell she's straining her ears for some sound or signal from me. Then I roll back and pull her close into me. I make up sweet-spot combinations and calibrate to her little breathing sounds and twitches. I give her a gentle kiss on the neck whenever it seems like its getting too obscure. The whole things just erotic as fuck.

Eventually she's whimpering and trembling in my arms, her lips pursed and her breathing shallow. She grips my hand tight and I reach down and feel her wetness through her little panties. I rip them off and she jumps on me. It's fucking wild - the horniness built up in both of us for nearly an hour and a half is exploding in a single intense moment. I dominate her, rip open a condom and fuck her properly til neither of us can move.

Glory.