THE FORUMS

December 6th, 2016
Longboard Life
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longboard

longboard

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Join Date: 08/02/2012 | Posts: 96

Update March 2015
Just started updating this again on page 8. Newly focused and have goals with cold approach and dating again. I notice a bit of a difference in my writing style from when I started this journal 2.5 years ago.

August 2012
This weekend I took the leap - bootcamp + hotseat with Owen and Julien. This was one of those experiences that jets you off into the stratesphere of whats possible. I'm in the process of writing up my whole weekend, but in a quick summary - I had my mind blown from what those guys are capable of as well as myself. The big process now is internalizing and digesting what I learned, and applying that as I move forward. Best way to do that is 30 DAY CHALLENGE!! Sweet, tonight is night one. My only criteria for success is that I make it out and open one set - day or night. Simple. From Friday and Saturday, I had picked up 13 phone numbers. I was specifically pushing for the number to get over that hump - but on the near horizon I think having a week where I don't take numbers is going to be very helpful for me to speak with intent and push it further than I normally would - ie. using the getting the number as a way out of the set. Regardless, it's one thing to get the numbers. It's another to make sure you call them up. So I spent the evening calling all 13 numbers ahhh. It's funny because there were definitely girls I liked more and some that I thought just would not respond to text or call. Two of the ones I clicked with the most answered and I had some fun quick conversations - setting up meet ups on Wednesday and Thursday. It was great hitting them all up, I was nervous with the first few (and left some pretty lame voicemails), but I slowly got some momentum and the phone calls and voicemails got more fun! Positives: -Took action and called all the numbers -Set up a couple of D2s -Haven't called a chick whose number I got off cold approach in a looooong time - and nothing 'bad' happened making those calls - groovy, those are reference points :)
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#1
longboard

longboard

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Join Date: 08/02/2012 | Posts: 96

 Ah soo close. Night starts out and my roomie and I head to the bar and meet up with a couple chick friends and get real weird. Along the way I open this tall amazonian Russian goddess on the sidewalk putting something on her bicycle.

Point at her - "You, did you ride all the way here"? She's super excited and asks me how I know. I ask her where is from - Russia. Literally do not remember her name the instant she says it, so I start calling her my babouskah. Introduce my roomie and keep it all positive and calibrated, not physical and bounce towards the bar. She says she'll see us in there. Well see haha.

Get in the bar and have a nice huge wave of approach anxiety come over. So I just accept it and get a water at the bar, see our friends and start talking with them. One has her boyfriend with her, and while he was a normal dude, he vanished when I was talking to her. Not gaming or anything, but just talking and he was no where to be found. Interesting how some dudes are even in relatively 'non-threatening' social situations. Talk with everyone for a bit, joking, realize that I am beginning to avoid approaching. You got me. Walk over to the bar to get a water, see a chick with a hat on. So my complicated opener is "I like your hat" as hit the brim. That was it. She's Russian black hair, and her friend Russian blond and a chode friend. The girls are having a friend buy drinks, so I'm on top of it an introduce myself to everyone early on. I have the two russian girls teach me how to say "I'm in love" and "I'm not your boyfriend" in Russian. I am terrible. 

At this point I have no idea what I am saying, but I move the group towards my original group. With the chode friend occupying the blond, and am able to talk with the black haired one. I keep it mellow and am not overly physical. Having fun talking with her. Chode friend runs away or something, so I literally split the two girls, physically grab my roomie's arm and pull him into the set to wing me. It's going good, they go to the bathroom - but I have that feeling it's not to get away from us...more like girl talk and stuff. Whatever, merge back into my group of friends. Cruise a bit, then see a blond looking at me. No hesitation, I walk over to her - introduce and a little spin, she's Australian. Meet the friend. Keep it mellow, not that physical, have a fairly logical convo about Australia. Move her around a bit and dance - ask her hold she is. "Guess" "What's the right answer?" I guess 22 - she says add 12 years to it. Haha - she did not look that old. Asks me how old I am. Tell her, then say to add 27 years to it. Fun. Try and pull my roomie into the set but he doesn't stick, and the blond's friend gets the blond to go with her to get a "drink". Meh, no worries!

Go back into the group of friends and chill out for a bit. Then a wild dance circle appears! A couple dudes are in the middle who really know what they are doing, a dude who can breakdance, and me...haha. Get in there and am having a blast, I really love that all eyes on me, it's because I dance sexy. Point to a cute blondy across the dance circle, she's all giggles. Try and pull her into the circle with me. No bite, roll back through and see the original Russian chicks - they loved the dancing. Awww. 

The Russians go somewhere, and I go back to my group, which is now just my roomie and our chick friend. I felt like a baller just standing still while looking around the crowd at what everyone else was doing. I was grounded, and for moments I could see people reacting to the environment. The bro's acting hard with each other, but not opening. Hot chicks in smaller packs of 2 and 3 just dying to get spoken to. Alright, after a bit I keep moving. See a 2 girl 2 guy mixed set, open the cute chick (from Switzerland) and quickly meet everyone in the group. Go back to the Swiss chick and just am talking, blah blah and then I say something about the club being hot, and she says 'This is my boyfriend'. I acknowledge the social pressure and quickly say this is awkward. Move on. These sets I'm proud of, calibrating out of being a 'wierdo' vibe, rather, just a cool dude who didn't come in just quite right.

See the tall amazonian Russian goddess from outside the bar, point and work my way in. Say hi to the friend, then am running around with this chick whose at least 2 or 3 inches taller than me haha. Pick her up and turn her away from the friend. But right around then hole appears in the dance floor and some hood rat starts dancing ghetto on the floor, RAS gone. She rolls away with me giving too much of a fight.


Go to the bar, open the two chicks ordering drinks, get them to get me a water ;) Try talking with them a bit, but I came from the nice guy frame and wasn't that icey...set fizzles. See my black haired Russian, bring her in close and get the quick sloppy makeout.


It kind of starts getting hazy here, but run outside to meet Dave7, who doesn't want to pay cover. Silly :) See a three set witha  gorgeous latina chick in it. Point and open, not able to stop her, but I do isolate her a bit from her friends. She's from Columbia, the friends Argentina. Cross the street and I'm mispronunciated her friends names terribly - they start laughing and one starts snorting - which puts everyone in fits. I thought I was good to go an grab the number, but they jump in the taxi and drive off into the night.

Run back to the other side of the street and give Dave a high five and he immediately turns and opens this two set behind me. Baller. He's doing good with his, I'm okay with mine. Try to bounce them into the bar with us after a while, no bueno. Still fun. Head into the bar and Dave is literally just opening anything as he walks in. LOVE THIS. I point at a talk brunette and come in confident...she says "Do I know you", clearly attracted. "No"...and I see her attracting decrease a little. Have fun here! Fairly normal convo but it the friend pulls them away.

Dave and I pull the two Russians outside, physically grab the black haired one and take her 20 feet and turn her away from the blond whose with Dave. The group remerges and Dave and I high-five for meeting on the internet ;) Head back inside, don't know where Dave went, this time I decide I want the blond. Dirty dancing havana nights and am having a blast, she knows the right way to tease and be feminine while also yielding and knowing that I'm leading with masculine energy. Pretty cool because I feel like we're the only two in the floor for a bit. Now it gets confusing, but the black haired Russian has been calling dudes and such. I'm pulling the blond all over the place. The black haired Russian I can tell starts getting pissed that I chose the blond. HAHA! Run around and dance some more, see my amazonian russian while I'm with the blond, give her the finger and a smile. My roomie says he ran into her later and she was asking for me. 

Blond chick in a fedora. I hate fedoras. I tell her she cannot wear it in the club, but that I'm joking. Cool chick from Germany, I think she tried shit testing me or something but whatever I did worked because she said she liked me. Then the blond russian comes in and I'm off the German chick.

Run to the bathroom, and when I get back my blond is all over the jacked dude. NO...I don't not accept that this guy is going to take her from me. I grab her arm and tell her "No No No No, It's YOU and ME". Dude melts. Have a little trouble pulling both chicks, but after a little argument, the black haired russian chills out and I bounce them to my place for an afterparty. See amazonian russie and cute white chick on my way out, make a point to tap on their shoulders and playfull flip them off as I leave...I'll see them again. Call my roomie and tell him to run home haha. Blown away...pull these chicks back to mine, no action, but they're teaching us cool ass Russian such as "Go fuck yourself". Love it. Girls want to bounce to theirs, blondy wants me to go with. I walk them home, having fun, thinking I'm gonna do dirty things to the blond. BUT NO! I get stopped at the door - get the makeout and # but they won't let me inside. Ahhh....next time :)

Positives:
-Approaches anytime anywhere build on the night - ie. opening a chick on the street who may later be in the club
-I practiced the pull - and got it 
-Went through my state and momentum slowly down a couple times through the night. I was able to correct by just taking the right action
-No expectations of the night before going out
-It's only Day#1
-Dave, dude it was great running around with you a bit tonight!
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#2
dave7-

dave7-

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Join Date: 05/14/2012 | Posts: 4288

You too man, I forgot your name was longboard haha. That's fucken sweet you pulled those girls.
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#3
Mehdi

Mehdi

Member

Join Date: 09/26/2011 | Posts: 37

bro i just had a 20 hour travel from HI to canada but could not resist reading this....awesome.. proud of ya for the pull... the way you were handeling those girls from australia last week was just clear sign that you got game... cant wait to hang out with ya again... and dave, oh ya, that mofo is a gangasta

ps. surfing and a quick bite to eat in your crib and then jiggy jiggy..... sounds like a perfect D2 :)
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#4
longboard

longboard

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Join Date: 08/02/2012 | Posts: 96

Mehdi wrote:
bro i just had a 20 hour travel from HI to canada but could not resist reading this....awesome.. proud of ya for the pull... the way you were handeling those girls from australia last week was just clear sign that you got game... cant wait to hang out with ya again... and dave, oh ya, that mofo is a gangasta

ps. surfing and a quick bite to eat in your crib and then jiggy jiggy..... sounds like a perfect D2 :)
Haha love it dude. Had a blast this past weekend dude, definitely hanging again! And yes, that sounds like the perfect D2!

Day#2
Got a text from one of the chicks I met on Friday and push for the meetup later. Meet up with Dave7 for a little street game before he heads back, had some fun. Open a muuuch older woman from Florida. Dave says she wouldn't take her eyes off my butt. Flattery. Run around a bit more, talk to some chick selling dresses on the street. She's pretty chill, but it's that kind of different dynamic where they are working, and you're not buying anything. So of course I try on one of her dresses. No pictures though ;) See these two cuties walk by us, Dave says whats up but they keep on going. These were the taxi chicks from last night. I definitely didn't want to chase...but I did. Get them to slow down a little bit, they're heading to dinner. Have fun talking, I noticed it went from "who the hell is this guy" to "okay, he's a normal guy" vibe, but I couldn't get mine to stop. 

Just some fun times, realizing that in the environment I'm in...I cannot come off badly because it's such a small community. Also because I have been seeing the same chicks everywhere haha.

Head out to meet up with chick I was texting earlier at a bar with her friends. Approach a three set of blonds outside the bar. First set in the new environment, play it cool. One of the chicks works outside a bar I went to Thursday. Gets my mouth moving. I get to the bar late, friends are all bailing - YES. Confusion...they don't have plans. See B from hotseat and we bounce the girls to another bar. Another dude is with them, but he's harmless...and literally VANISHES as we are all walking. Go to an area of the bar that apparently was for a private party. Security asks me what company we're with. I mention that we're from West Philadelphia. What company? Oh, yeah, we're from the parent company of Fizer smicksmurgen. Haha get kicked out and sit at the bar inside. Girls go to the bathroom, take forever and are pretty weird coming out. Cruise with them at the beach. Really different dynamic, they were smoking and I didn't - vibes were not meshing and my new go go go mindset had to be chilled out. It all just felt weird. Chicks bounce and B and I decide to not move and to just to cruise and talk a bit.

Aparently I walked past the russians from last night on the beach haha. Texting her now trying for the meetup. 

Positives
-Adventures!
-Realized that the pull pull close close mindset might be too aggressive for some chicks, especially ones that I'll see again
-Going out and doing anything is better than staying at home doing nothing :)
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#5
longboard

longboard

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Join Date: 08/02/2012 | Posts: 96

 Day #3
Head out around 12:45a solo. Because it's something that needs to be done :) Point at some chicks as I'm walking to the bar and chat real quick. Walk up the stairs to the bar and a girl is taking the escalator down by herself. Put my hand out, she takes it, I run down the stairs with her hand. Stand and chat a bit, go and sit down on a bench, just talking fun stuff. She's bouncing, I grab her phone and text me.

Walk in the club...and errrrrrr....go straight to the bathroom! Walk out of the bathroom and there's just one cutie right outside. I go and say hi, and where's she's from. It's an obscure place so I ask if she knows E. YUUUPP, 'she's right there'. Behind me, I yell and grab her. She's with a dude. He tries to tool me and say he's the boyfriend. Ya right dude. I go with Julien's "tell him I'm your gay friend" and give me two minutes. Well, I get my time while the dude is leering at me, you mad bro?. Eventually she tries to bounce to find her friend I'm leading her by the hand...and her other hand is with the dude. I peace from the set once we see the friend. Building momentum.

I come out of that set and start moving my hips a little bit. See a girl I met last week, try and dance with her but her friend doesn't want me to find love. I go off and walk around the club a bit, packed. Go and grab a drink and see a few sets that easily could be opened....and then there's a slight delay between my recognition and my action. Windows that were wide open close very quickly, and I'm not quite at that Tyler "punishment" level where he makes himself go talk to them regardless of how difficult the set got.

Bounce around a bit, I notice myself choding. I head outside to the smoking area and see two of the three chicks I met outside the bar last night. I remember their names. I'm in. Have a blast talking to these girls, they're pretty sharp. Start joking that I'm getting married to one, and that the one I want is our step-daughter that I want to do naughty things with. It's fun. Two friends (P and K) come nearby, I make the original two introduce me. Eventually get the #, she's getting up at 5am, no go. Seed the D2. See A again, she's with a different guy this time, and starts talking with another that walks by. Such a slut. It's cool though because her cute friend comes over and I meet her. She's cool, have some serious talk but also fun, explaining my business. Say some fun playful nothings, tell her to close her eyes. Go for the makeout, but she pulls away giggling. Get the phone #, she wants to go find her friends. Meh I try and false lead but don't do super great at it. She breaks away and gets hit up by some other dude. But I thought I was the one....!! This actually bummed me out a little, but whatever. Such a slut.

I go outside in a feeble attempt at finding her, nope. Walk to a nearby bar and see P with a dude. Shoot the shit and then head back to the first club. Walk in and this bombshell, tiny little latin chick is strutting right towards me. Grab her hand and start dancing next to the bar. Meet & Greet, drinking my water. I'm chill as fuck. This set is going so easy. I am starting to believe that I can pull her home. She's into it. I start getting in my head. Buuuuuuut, she's in it for the money (read: she doesn't love me for me :(). I tell her I need true love only, and am never going to pay for it. Real trippy though once she realized I wasn't going to pay her anything, she kind of freaks out and tells me she always has to be with a guy. Dude, that's one way to eliminate approach anxiety. Have a pimp whose going to give you the backhand if you ain't approaching. Interesting that these girls have to approach everything as well. Definitely did not feel entitled a chick this hot.

My state for the night was all over the place, high and low. I'm aiming for even vs. erratic. It's all good though. Try and talk to this talk chick on stage, some dude gets real protective of her. I didn't really hold my ground, I see the dude later, definitely not even close to being a boyfriend of hers. Run around a bit, back outside, chill out and talk to these two chicks who come beside me. Two dudes roll in, I hold in strong with the one I was talking to. 

I think about leaving, and then I see all these find honeys inside and I literally cannot bring myself to go home. The bootcamp showed me that there should be no limiting beliefs about what time you 'need to go home'. Stay until closing suckah! Neon pink skirt is tall and fine, talking with two dudes. I roll in and she's not loving it, but she's also not hating it. One dude peaces immediately, the other is sticking around a bit. Then he bounces and it's just me. I felt like the seller in this set, and she never was sold on us. She goes back to the dance floor, cute blonds nearby. I go chat. Find my target, a blond. She's very hesitant, but again, just doesn't run away. This is great - sometimes I'm not getting blown out hard. Just hanging in there for dear life. Eventually a dude friend comes in and starts dancing with her. I should have asked her who he was, no worris though. I have fun. Meet another, K real quickly. Working on blond still, until the dude pulls her away. I go talk to some random married chick, bounce. I leave the bar, run down the stairs and tell the blond she was my only chance for love. Calibrate after because I could tell it was wierding them out that I was 'following them'. Whatevs, walking towards home, I see K and her friend. BOOYAH I'm in and walk them home, share ridiculous words, I have a boner. Try and come up in their elevator, they kind of freak a bit but I chill out and calibrate down. No number!!!! Start walking home again, buuuuut then I see two blonds and guy accross the street, so I go talk to them. I tell them they must speak english in America. One is cool, I make fun of the schtick of meeting people. She finally says the dude's her boyfriend, I'm out.

I need to keep positive in my head. This was a sick ass night, SOLO baby - I love chicks.

Postives:
-made it out late
-went solo
-stayed out until the end
-rewiring my limiting belief of when 'it's time to go home' really is
-winning
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#6
longboard

longboard

Member

Join Date: 08/02/2012 | Posts: 96

 Day #4
Slow night, still went in to a bar solo and opened a fat 2-set that was 67% of the females in the place. Fun little convo, it's so much easier when you don't give a fuck about them.

See a chick from Spain that I met a week ago and ran into her last night. She wanted to part of me last night haha. I walk past and just laugh and make eye contact. I did not want to go in there, felt some major resistance. Meet up with some friends in a new bar, they're talking, I go and talk with a 3 set. Real quick just being normal, my friend comes up and touches me as appropriately as she can in from of these 3 classy ladies. Hi five some other chick at the bar as we leave. See Spanish chick again and yell "SPAIN" (don't remember her name) and flip her off while laughing. I'll see her again.

Then I just had 'normal person' time where I just talked with my two friends and didn't run around. It was cool.

I'm learning the timing for everything  where I live...Friday + Sat always good, Sunday Tuesday Thurs is slow so day game and D2s, Monday and Wednesday epic. I also want to internalize that mindset Owen had that when it's quiet out, EVERY possible set is something you need to get in.

Positives
-Had a cool time chilling with friends I don't normally cruise with
-I talked with fat chicks
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#7
longboard

longboard

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Join Date: 08/02/2012 | Posts: 96

 Day #5
Met up with some buddies for some dinner then head out. My one buddy is super conservative and has his exact plan for life. Cool but not flexible, and still of the belief that his dream girl will just find him someday. I also haven't gone out with him in a long time. One thing I really noticed is that I am getting much more used to going out solo. I can't say I'm the best wingman right now, soley because I'm usually having to hustle any size set by myself. He got butthurt when I bounced out of the first twoset of the night before introducing him. Meh. Anyway, get to the bar and am struggling to approach. I know I don't want to. But, slowly I am building some cool reference points that even if the girl is not attracted, there's a good chance I meet someone interesting or at least has a cool story.

Talk to a the twoset briefly, one is laughing at me talking haha, but I eject way to early. No worries, first set. We hit the dance floor and I try talking to these two girls from Japan. They don't want none of that. I keep looking around and feel like every girl is talking with a dude that's either their husband, boyfriend or brother. Scary haha. I know this is not the case, but my RAS was not quite up there. Walk around a bit more and then my buddy kind of confronts me about the first set of the night. I was a bit selfish, but at the same time you just gotta say whatever. This puts me off state. Leave and come back 5 mins later and talk to the two girls next to the DJ stand. Just getting my mouth moving. Doesn't really hook so I bounce. I head to the dance floor and start moving my hips. My buddy sees an older lady standing by herself and goes and talks with her. She's kind of into it haha. Eventually her friend comes so I come in, they say "you have really pretty eyes". I blush. I feel the momentum building so I grab my buddy and we go talk to the more attractive Japanese twoset from earlier.

My girl is gorgeous, but doesn't speak English that well. We dance and I'm laughing the whole time (the dance floor was clearing out). My buddy is just kind of standing there with the friend. Eventually I go for the number, but it's a no go (she's standing and facing her friend when I try this). No worries, laugh it off. Keep moving, see the two hottest girls in the place...buuut I chode out and run to the bathroom to cry. Ha, not really, but I didn't approach. I come back and the dance floor has cleared, and there are 4 chicks at a table. One is checking. I walk up and say "excuse me miss, but you cannot check your phone here", she kind of looks at me weird but then I say "just joking". It's fun and playful, bring my buddy into the set (which becomes a two set of girls). We're talking accross each other at the girls, I grab a chair and sit with them. Have some fun goofy talk with mine then she has to leave so I grab the #.

Leave and head over to the next bar. On the way there I see a cute 4 set accross the street, so I run over and start talking. I only saw them from behind, aaaand they are not as attractive as I once thought. It's cool though. Talk about flannel and hipsters n shit with one. I go for the number because I tell her my friends are waiting accross the street. She's not into it. She literally said she felt like I came in with the idea of grabbing the number. Which was true. I need to evaluate my intent going into each set. I should take Julien's advice and only take the number when the pull is not possible. Anyway, no hard feelings and run back across the street.

New bar, not much going on. Talk with a cute two set but eject too early. Head downstairs and there's a twoset by the bar. Opens wide up and they're loving my buddy and I. But then they start playing this stupid game to guess my buddies name. That's all they want to do. So I dictate my own reality, try and cut the thread, doesn't work, so I peace. Felt great.

So not a super awesome night for me, but so necessary. I need to struggle a bit when I go out and not have my intent dialed in to see what happens. Which was nothing bad. Also walked 20 minutes with my buddy and we essentially have come to the conclusion that we are two completely different people with extremely different views on life. Don't know if I'll be going out at night with him anymore, I got put into a weird state. He's still a good guy, but I am realizing that this cold approach stuff is really not for everyone.

Positives
-Kept approaching even though I was out of state, stayed out till 2am
-Cut the thread of a convo that was wasting time
-Got some feedback from the girl - be more natural about the #, or at least try and bounce her
-Ive been texting some of the girls and been getting responses. A resistance I had to sending out a bunch of texts was that I was taking value or that she wouldn't respond. Well, now I am building reference points contrary to that.
-Reopened a set that had not worked out the first time, and it was much better
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#8
longboard

longboard

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Join Date: 08/02/2012 | Posts: 96

 Growth vs. change

This was the primary conversation I had with my buddy last night. He was convinced that he doesn't want to change his life - he would rather go out to dinner on a Friday night with some friends and then go to bed vs. going out and approaching strangers. For him to to the later (go out and pimp), it would require himself to change. He would rather stay in the path he's in and pursue "growth".

I find this really interesting because I think you need to have both to get the most out of life. Growth is necessary because you always want to keep moving and pushing in one direction to keep from stagnating. Growth is the process of working hard at one thing over and over again, as well as in general on a macro level because you keep pushing yourself. Change is delving into new areas of focus or trying something new checking it out.

If you focus on growth in only one area of your life, you will become good at it. However, that amount of focus is typically a detriment to all other aspects of your life. An example would be from the Sedona Method. There are 3 areas of life according this: relationships, success/wealth, and health. To gain mastery in something, it requires focus and growth in generally one area at a time. But if you don't ever change your focus, you're going to be the businessman with terrible health and relationships, or the pimp who has no money and bad health. We need balance.

I think you need to focus on a certain area of your life 100%, but while also putting in enough effort to maintain where you are in the other areas of your life. Then rotate. This I believe is growth and change being used together to become a well rounded guy who lives his life.

The moment you say, "well, I am this way because that's the way I've always been" is the moment you have to realize that you should try putting forth the effort to spark change and growth within yourself.
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#9
dave7-

dave7-

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Join Date: 05/14/2012 | Posts: 4288

 Sounds like your friend prefers comfort over growth. It's totally understandable tho, if people are ok with mediocrity then it makes sense to go back to that. I bet that different people have different areas in their life where they are ok with mediocrity. Like me and you are trying to pimp it, but maybe we don't give a crap about becoming masters at the cha cha cha dance. 
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#10
longboard

longboard

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Join Date: 08/02/2012 | Posts: 96

dave7- wrote:
 Sounds like your friend prefers comfort over growth. It's totally understandable tho, if people are ok with mediocrity then it makes sense to go back to that. I bet that different people have different areas in their life where they are ok with mediocrity. Like me and you are trying to pimp it, but maybe we don't give a crap about becoming masters at the cha cha cha dance. 
That sounds right, comfort vs. growth. It's something I need to work on - I definitely can be slightly abrasive/preachy with those people who are so set in an opposite path than my own. I think the most important thing for us all to do is live our own lives and not try to dictate what others do.

But let's be real, it would be pretty cool to be a thug at the cha cha.
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