THE FORUMS

January 16th, 2017
neurosponge 1.0: Neurogenesis
Your rating: None Average: 4 (1 vote)
Bookmark and Share
#41
neurosponge

neurosponge

Member

Join Date: 07/02/2012 | Posts: 80

12/13

Went out solo & sober. Walked to some college bars that were completely dead so I decided to take the bus to a livelier part of town. Opened a redhead at the busstop and as we started talking, a girl I know from school opened me and we all had a chat. On the bus I told redhead to come sit next to me. So as I told her more about me she got really attracted, started qualifying herself to me. Then her stop came up and I made a half-ass hint at saying we should continue hanging out, but she had work early in the morning and told me to have a good night. Should've gotten off with her (it was my stop too but didn't realize it till after!) And at least # closed. O well.

Walk to the first bar, I opened several sets, maybe 7-10, some by themselves, some 2 sets. Just did the "friendly and cool" thing which means I was being too much of a to do a strong man to woman frame. I think its because I was seeking their approval so much so that I became friendly and impossible to blow out. Which is a shame because it would've been more fun to challenge the girls a little and self-amuse at their expense...but I guess I wasn't in that mindset.

So for example I open a two set, a bigger hb6 and a hb8. Talk to the big one, joke around. Hb8 looks grumpy so I tell hr to cheer up. Continue bullshitting with them, make jokes about the hb8 being italian and they both crack up and are like "I like him! I like you!"...ok...thanks? Well couple minutes later the convo has died down and now they're scoping out "hot" guys in the bar that they like. Just goes to show that I was not being a sexual threat. And its not like I couldn't have changed that (later in the night they were looking at me so I could've reapproached and acted differently), but the thing is I didn't feel like a sexual threat so that's the important thing.

After these girls I move on to another 2 set, one chubby hb 6, one tall and cute. Both these girls just wanted to party and were so horny (especially the hb6) like they were hitting on me, letting me touch them wherever (hb 6 had no bra on let me feel her titties and look t her ass, grab hb8's necklace/chest), just fuking down for w/e you know. But...I was just stuck in friendly mode so I passivley accepted their advances and only made half-hearted efforts to add to the sexual vibe and move things forward. Hb8 asked me where this club was (with male gogo dancers, seriously these girls were horny lol) and I didn't know for sure so I didn't really give an answer. Well it WOULD'VE been a perfect opportunity to lead but I just let them walk off. As they left they told me "have a really great night. Like REALLY great. Do something naughty. Something socially unacceptable, something that doesn't involve wearing clothes ;)" At this point the words "3-way makeout" started flashing in my head but I didn't even go for that.... :/

Well I guess one positive thing that came out of this lame encounter was that I felt what it could be like if I was sexually confident. Like in my head, I could imagine an alternate situation where I just didn't give as much of a fuck about these girls and satisfied their lust for a strong sexy man. The way I was doing it last night was playing it safe, where I did enough just to approach and talk (I.e. come up to the edge of the cliff), but not enough to be physical, unapologetic, and explicitly sexual (I.e. jump off the cliff). All that was missing was a little nudge off the cliff, and I think I could notice that little bit missing last night.

Related to that, another lesson I got was that I have to generate my own positive emotions and value. At one point I ran into a bunch of RSD guys and really felt a desire for some wingmanship from them. I realized this was because I ddnt want to take full responsibility for the set, and to some extent sit back and watch things play out. This is once again a lesson that shows wingmen can't be like a crutch, and that establishing a core confidence to go out solo/sober and beast is crucial.

Ok a few more sets of note. One was an hb8.5 (for my money close to the hottest girl at the bar) and her friend that I sat down with and had a chat. Turns out I approached her a few months ago during the day. She's really smart fuk...I walked off and when I came back they were gone. Definitely looking forward to seeing her again.

Hb7-7.5 was pretty drunk. I flirted with her, she left and came back, told me she was going to another club. I told her Id go with her and her friends. Made an effort to befriend the group. We go on the dancefloor and I'm getting ready to dance with her some guy grabs her and they start dacing. Ehhh chode chode chode. Don't really do anything. Walk around talk to one or two more chicks. Come back dance with my girl a little, but lose her to a group of hipster friends. Kind of a pointless story, I realize as I type it out.

Getting close to closing time and I have to wait for my bus. Go to a third bar. I was thinking how I wasn't being sexual or dominant enough. As I'm walking down the stairs an hb7 is walking up. I stop her and we hug while she's a few stairs below me (the height difference is funny). I'm more sexual with my words and actions. I ask her is she leaving, she says yes. I say oh but the party just started. She giggles what? I say we can continue the party elsewhere. She says how? I say at my apartment. She giggles what no. Blah blah this continues. I try to convince her to give me a ride to my place. Then I hold her hand and start walking her out of the bar. She grabs a random bearded guy and says its her boyfriend. He walks away. Then outside the bar she grabs another guy and kisses him and says its her boyfriend and latches onto him and makes him walk her to her car.

Well its painfully obvious what went wrong there. Most of the times I've gotten successful SNL, I was successful in supressing my impulse to jump the gun and pull immediately. In this case I didn't repress the impulse and for whatever reason (nice, drunk, attracted to me and hoping I could stop making her feel uncomfortable) she didn't give me that much resistance. Oh well...I think I could've chilled with her for about 30 min in the bar till closing time and been able to pull.

So...pretty decent night. Lots of learning, lots of areas to improve. But the best thing is I'm going out to do the same thing all over again tonight ;)

Neuro
__________________
 
Login or register to post.
#42
neurosponge

neurosponge

Member

Join Date: 07/02/2012 | Posts: 80

12/14

I organized a karaoke get together with a couple of my friends. Then afterwards we were hanging out at a bubble tea place when my friend Kathy showed up. She's visiting me from her grad school. We were friends in college and she always liked me but afterI got to be friends with herI avoided physical escalation because I didn't want things to get serious between us then end up with her being hurt and our friendship to end.

Well....I fucked her last night. So there goes that. We had some wine and I was telling her about my life, efforts to become successful with women, etc. She's staying with me for the weekend and we were sleeping in the same bed (which we've done many times before) so I decided what the hell. I rarely see her anymore, anyway, plus I'm trying to adopt a moe sex-positive attitude. So I pulled the trigger and decided to turn her around from the spoon position and start getting it on. We had pretty good, satisfying sex.

She's in the shower now and I hope she's not freaking out lol. Thanks for loosening up my moral fortitude, RSD.

Neuro
__________________
 
Login or register to post.
#43
neurosponge

neurosponge

Member

Join Date: 07/02/2012 | Posts: 80

 12/15

Spent all day with Kathy. I learned some good lessons during the day, especially regarding frame control (my positive and fun frame vs. her quiet, negative, and prone to boredom frame), setting boundaries (what I will/will not let her do to me in terms of shit tests and guilt tripping), and being unapologetic (for my occasional rude comments and for my sexuality).

I told her a couple times throughout the day that I do not want this to be an emotional thing, and that I will in all likelyhood hit on other girls when we go out tonight. And I felt genuinley about this and was strong in my frame, so even though she wasn't that happy, I think in the end she appreciated me being a man about what I want. 

We went out and she was being a chode, whereas I was being confident, sexy, and hitting up sets with Villainous for a while. Kathy kept on cockblocking me, though, and made it impossible to actually maintain interactions with girls. Although I was doing a great job of building attraction, self amusement, and just talking.

Funny Story: 



The part where the kid asks SD how to look at a girl to make her horny. I tried that out tonight...AND IT WORKED. I just stuck my hands in my pants and accentuated the "holy rod", then I made really strong eye contact with this hb7.5girl accross the room. Lol she just started making her way over to me while Kathy was telling me to stop lol. Sooo funny I was telling my friends I'd test it out and so far it's 1/1. I just kept this intense eye contact up and a sexual badboy look on my face and this girl started making kissy faces at me and getting so turned on lol. Stupid Kathy pulled me away and cockblocked me so the girl didn't want to stay. 

The bullshit cockblocking continues, I hop in the cab and take tired/grumpy/drunk Kathy back to my apartment, then promptly get on the bus and head back to the bars. Finish the night with Villainous and another friend at the food joint, then walk over to my fuckbuddy's apartment to spend the night.

When I get back in the morning Kathy's like "I'm only with you for two days, I wish you could hold off on hooking up with other girls while I'm here." Previously, something like this would've been very alarming to me as I would've felt like I'm being a total dick. But since I was congruent with my desires and not apologetic about them, I easily ignored that conversation thread and started talking about how much I like jazz music and the blues. 

And today, I'm a bit surprised (and definitely pleased), that in spite of fucking another girl the very next night, Kathy was very happy to be around me. Cooked me amazing breakfast today and yesterday (and cleaned the dishes...score) and we had a nice "cherish" day getting food, talking, and chilling until she goes back home.
__________________
 
Login or register to post.
#44
neurosponge

neurosponge

Member

Join Date: 07/02/2012 | Posts: 80

A cold rainy Sunday night; the fact that I'm even out walking to the bars is a success.

Was at my buddy's place with some classmates drinking and smoking a lil. Around 12:30 I walk over to the bars solo with the firm intention of opening.

Walk past one, it looks so dead that I don't go in (wrong decision), go the second one and walk in. Hit up the first girl I see by saying "julie is that you" random w/e she says no, and nice try :).

Walk thru the bar and see 2 cute girls and 1 guy sitting together and grab a chair next to them. Start chatting, meet them all, joke with them. Essentially I start winning them over. The girls finish their drinks and the guy is going to buy them more. Cool, I head with him to the bar. Hit up two girls there. Just chatting and shit. But the guy saw me gaming other girls and after that point he was trying to tool me the whole night pretty much.

We went back to the girls and he starts getting on my case about why I came out, why I'm not drinking more etc. The girls and I are totally chill. I'm just being friendly and cool, but then he starts like insulting the girls lol telling me bad things about them. I'm just watching the girls are like wtf are you talking about knock it off.

Obviously the theme of this night was AMOGing ad mixed set shit tests. There were times when I felt an insidious discomfort about the fact that I was imposing on this group and being a value leech (terrible embarassing feeling), but thankfully I just cut this thread of thinking immideatley. Just a simple "nope, I'm a fuking high value guy, the coolest guy in this bar and these girls (and even the guy) are HAPPY to be chillin with me."

When the girls come back from the bathroom, the hb7.5 blonde is showing some amazing cleavage. And her hb7.5 friend is looking at me a lot. They start asking me questions about myself, then we do some rapport building convo. I think they got the impression I was picking them up, but I was being really chill the whole time so they had no reason to be defensive. I rather enjoyed spending time with them, especially while we were alone without chode guy friend being a drunk a hole. Sometimes they would start talking about some boring chick conversation and I would just interrupt them and start involving them in a conversation I would rather have. This was a prett uncalibrated thing and they gave me some wtf faces.

Chode friend convinces me to play pool with him (I made a decision to have fun, rather than be gaming/pull- focused. Probably not the right decsion given the cirumstance). Around this time a random guy (not unlike me) comes and sits with the girls. This guy seems to give less of a fuck, and is being morephysical with them (easy to do when I'm occupying chode guy friend with pool). After the game we go back the table ad I try out subtely tooling this guy by asking hime questions. He just replies yes to everything,probably lying haha.

At some point they get up and leave, but I was pretty confused/high so I thought they were at the bathroom and coming back. Otherwise I woulve went out with them and tried to pull them to my apt for afterparty. Instead I just sat at the table for a little bit then went home. Don't know what the other guy who approached them did. I'm Definitely going out sober this week, becase I've been inebriated too many times the past week. Don't want it to be a crutch.

Overall, it was a really interesting experience. I'm glad I endured all that shit from the guy, and I know those girls were keen. If I could've worked on them a little longer it mightve been cool.
__________________
 
Login or register to post.
#45
neurosponge

neurosponge

Member

Join Date: 07/02/2012 | Posts: 80

 Around 6:30 pm I walked thru my local mall, spotted a blonde girl at the library on her laptop. hesitated a little bit then went and chatted with her. We talked for maybe 20 min, or more. I really enjoyed our chat, and it was interesting. I enjoyed the opportunity to be straightforward in talking about relationships, cold-approach, etc. Got her number, texted her the same night and told her to meet up with me today around lunch. We've been texting but I'm pretty indifferent as to wheather or not she comes hang out. The way I see it, it's in her best interest to hang out with me, and if she doesn't see it that way, too bad for her. Plus I got stuff to do if she doesn't come. 

Around 10 I went out with Villainous and his brother. Right when I walk in I see two girls sitting at a booth, sit down as I'm taking off my jacket, talk to them: friendly and cool for about 5 min, then I walked off. An hour later I reapproached, they were still sitting down in the same place. I liked both the girls, they were both really cute HB7.5-8. I ended up talking more to the one I was sitting next to, so we talked about music and sporrts and everything like that. At several points we looked deeply into each others eyes. I never went for the make out because I was enjoying the tension that we were building, sitting close to each other and talking into each other's ears. Whenever I would talk to her friend, she would get kind of defensive and say she was going to leave the conversation so as not to intrude. I told her to move over and I sat in between them (giving my girl a lap dance in the process). She tried to shit test me but I was completley unfazed, so we all ended up laughing about it. My girl walked off to get drinks, then after a few minutes I decided to leave the other two friends. *Thinking about it now, I should've found my girl while she was isolated at the bar and tried to develop more intimacy with her* Later on in the night, the three girls came down to the dance floor, but I didn't want to go dance with them (idk why, in the back of my head maybe I thought they would reject me if I tried to dance with them...but that makes no sense). Later on I see my girl getting ready to leave, and we exchange some looks and a goodbye. Overall decent attraction and comfort building, but more persistance and spending more time with her was neccessary. 

The rest of the night was mostly blowout after blowout. Sweet, sweet blowouts. I really didn't give a fuck this night, it was a pretty good feeling. I was centered and low energy, definitely not nervous about approaching. The only thing that limited me in approaching was the fact that I was tired (and sober), so I would occasionally take a few minutes to sit and rest, watch the drunk people, then go back to hitting up girls walking by. I was mostly going for a claw type approach and a "hi, you're cute/what's your name/who are you," occasionally making comments about them. I was pretty low energy, but I was also congruent. I think in that loud club environment girls would not pay attention to me and quickly run off. Again, this didn't phase me because if a girl doesn't want to spend time with me, it's her loss. That being said, it wasn't ALL just blowouts. 

Dressgirl Hb8: Early on in the night I HOG this girl standing close to me at the bar and pulled her in as she was telling me "don't you know it's rude to point at people," I told her "My mom never taught me manners, I'm a bad bad man" and I pushed her away saying we couldn't be friends. She was laughing and it was cool because after a minute or two I engaged the rest of her group and was friendly and cool. Later on on the dance floor I opend her, this time with 2 guys and a girl friend. I apologized about earlier saying I actually had good manners. The guys were dancing crazy and regardless of whether or not they were trying to tool me, I thought they were being fun so I started dancing with them. Then it started to seem as if the guy friend she was with was trying to push her on to me (like she was scared to make a move and he was trying to convince her). That was pretty cute to see, but it also made her really nervous. I tried dancing with her a few times, not grinding or anything just fun and silly dancing. But then I would kind of look around for a while (my dance floor game is so-so, plus I wasn't that motivated to dance tonight). I decided I would not give a fuck and open other girls, too. So i was talking to this girl I had seen before about some bullshit. I turn around and the mixed set with my girl is walking away. O:Well.

SmartBiotch Hb8.5: Same girl I met on 12/13 (who I had also approached in the day in the summer). It was pretty awakward, and she wouldn't hug me, but she seemed to act interested. Ignored that bullshit and walked off, opened her later that night and we talked a little. She told me she was stoned and hence being scocially awkward. Totally been there before. I told her I had wanted to get her number last time but she disappeared. Told her to give me her number this time, she wouldn't, only her email...I was like "uhh..." Kept on asking what her number was. At this point I didn't really care whether or not she was rejecting me, but I did genuinley want to see her because she is really smart and cute. She said some bs like she's taking a hiatus from dating, blah blah blah. I told her straight up "I just want to be friends with you" then we both started laughing. I made it a point to not get butthurt and leave, which I've done before, but instead persist a little bit. So I basically told this girl that I'm genuinley interested in her and want to get to know her. And she said no. And I left without feeling very bad at all. Although to be honest now I kind of have a little jealousy fantasy going on in my head where I want her to see me with other girls that are hotter than her. Is this a healthy goal? Only time will tell. 

Tantric JewBu Blondie Hb7.5-8: Opend this girl and her friend on my way to the dance floor telling her that she looks European. 30 min later I see them dancing by themselves far from the dancefloor. I engage them and dance with her (she's pretty drunk, but luvs to dance). At one point we're dancing ass to ass, and I reach around and spank her, grab her ass thru her fishnet stockings, obviously get her and me both turned on. Her friend goes to the bathroom, and we have a short convo about school and religion which makes me much more attracted to her, as she and I are on a very similar wavelength. I was attracted not only to her body but also her personality. Friend comes back and they both dance together. I watch them from my seat, then I get up to grind on her, she starts talking to a guy walking by, I dance with both her and her friend (me in the middle), she leaves to go somewhere and I end up dancing/talking with her friend (hb6.5-7) for a long time. Build some pretty good rapport , lead her upstairs to find her friend (lol...), about 15-20 min later I find both of them again on another smaller dance floor and we hit it off, although my girl is dancing pretty sexily with this guy who she seems to know (idk if he's a boyfriend, though). At the end of the night they're getting ready to take off. I made an important decision to go for the number rather than deny myself on account of the potential boyfriend. So I go up to them as they're putting their coats on and potentialBF is waiting near the door. Give a hug to the friend, she leaves, then I tell my girl (who is really looking at me with lust and attraction) how I want to get to know more about her, giver her hugs, near kisses (we exchanged a little corner mouth peck thing lol), and lots of eye contact. I get her number, before she leaves I pull her back in and ask her about tantric sex, she says she does it all the time. I say I really want to learn. She says the first step is worshipping the goddess. I tell her that comes naturally to me because I love the female figure. I insist that she not forget me on account of being drunk and let her go. 

There were a few other non-blowouts, but they were mostly short intereactions after which the girl ran away to her friends. What's up with that anyway? Your friends aren't going to up and dissapear, just chill out and hang with me for a few minutes. Lol I guess it's my job to make her calm down. When I'm in a low energy state like that, I'm much less interested in show-boating and being flashy (that can come later), but rather I'd prefer to just be centered, get to know a girl, and have some mellow fun. That particular venue probably wasn't the best for that. 

Also, this ugly girl pulled me in to her and told me I was cute. I didn't really reply just looked at her. She was like "mm you're scared." I looked down and saw her massive cleavage titties so I dove into them and bit one. Her sister was standing right next to us and was like WTF haha got pissed and try to push me away but my girl was hugging and protecting me. She was like "take control baby" or w/e. I put my arms around her and moved her a little bit so I was leaning on the bar. We just bullshitted, she tried to get me to buy her a drink, I told her I wasn't drinking. She kept on persisting, I told her I don't want to buy a drink period. lol she then got a bad attitude, w/e. What's worse is that the smell of her sweat/stanky was somehow on my fingers the rest of the night. Whyyyyy

Overall great day, I pushed as much as I felt comfortable while being congruent. And at times I literally felt like I did not give a fuck. I was hitting up set after set in rapid succession. Of course this wasn't entirely true because I can think of a few situations where I got either nervous to approach, or nervous to continue the interaction and just ejected. Still, though, I came as close to "burning down the venue" as I ever have, considering there was a LOT of girls the whole night. 
__________________
 
Login or register to post.
#46
neurosponge

neurosponge

Member

Join Date: 07/02/2012 | Posts: 80

12/18

Slept in and spent most of the day inside not doing shit. Laaaame. But...it's also winter break so I don't feel too bad about it. Winter break has been a great opportunity to become comfortable with, and actually start to enjoy, wasting time. As Alex says, its what fun people are great at doing.

Anyway, I arranged to meet up with two homies to smoke hookah, I invited the girl I SNL a few Fridays ago (see Dec. 9th post) because she wanted to meet more Arabs, and my friends are Arab. This is a good step forward for me because she's one of the few ONS I have managed to to keep around (also she's so fuking adorable...uh so cute). It was interesting to see my civilian friend talking to her as he was purely going for rapport by asking a lot of questions to get to know her. He made her feel comfortable and did a good job engaging her. I didn't tell them that I'd hooked up with her or anything, I just wanted to see how it'd play out.

Fast forward I drive her home, she doesn't want me to go up with her. A few more kisses and persistance from me, and I say "ok I'll walk you to your apt" in a very natural way. She says ok but I'm not letting you in.

Fast forward I'm in my boxers in her bed and she's leaning on me and we're talking. Its kind of a nice feeling, almost coupleishh. I love that chance to get to know a girl in the privacy of her room, just talking about the stupid things that girls think about haha.

She said she was on her period so the pants stayed firmly on all night. She's still a bit self concious around me. But I really enjoy her face and body.

My sleep schedule has been topsy turvey with all this going out and spending nights with girls. O well, here's to Xmas break.

-Neuro
__________________
 
Login or register to post.
#47
neurosponge

neurosponge

Member

Join Date: 07/02/2012 | Posts: 80

 12/19- A FATtastic Adventure (or, Night of the Living Gernades ) 

Preface- On the bus I was riding to get to the bars, these 3-4 girls in the back of the bus were picking a fight with a girl by herself. Calling her ugly, threatening her etc. I was the closest person sitting to them so I kept an eye on the girls. Sure enough as they were starting to get off at their stop, the single girl started retaliating and getting pissed, and it started an all out fist fight. So I had to dive in between these girls and break up the fight. Got my glasses snatched off my face and flung thru the bus. 

Lol, excellent way to start out the night. Was gonna meet up Villainous at this EDM club (not my cup of tea anymore) on the 18+ night (again, not my cup of tea). I get in line first and start chatting with the 18 year old guys and girls, being relaxed and friendly. Two asian girls roll up in a limo, I wave at them/flick them off. Just to self amuse. Ends up these two girls get behind me in line. One is a 5.5-6 chubby girl, the other is a 7.5 small girl. Sisters, rich, naughty (or so I believed). I just chat with them, joke around and shit, and they're already talking logistics. They don't wanna go back to their hotel, so before we're even in the club, they've decided they're going to come to my apartment tonight. 

I meet up with villainous. I feel like I should hang with these girls since they're guaranteeing a pull or w/e, but then we just get naturally separated, meet up a few times with them later in the night and have short interactions/dance together. 

Shortly after they leave I turn around and see another two set. This time a 6-6.5 chubbier blonde girl and a 7.5 sexy-schoolgirl costume redhead. I go up to them and sit down, start flirting hard with the redhead, Villainous hits up the blonde. I feel like my game is tight with this girl. I simultaneously get her aroused by talking about school and shit (similar interests) and by being physical, kissing her neck & cheek. She number closes me. Then Vil and I switch, so I'm leaning up behind redhead talking to big blonde girl. Verbals are solid on this one too, end up kissing her on the cheek, she turns around and we kiss. Feels like I'm gaming both these chicks at once and they both want a peice of me and Villainous. Then their guy friend comes along, kinda steals my thunder, but he's a cool guy. We go get drinks, redhead's not talking to me as much anymore so attraction isn't being built, I feel. 

After that we split up, I walk thru the EDM dance floor, get blown out a ton I think. Like I say some shit to some girls walking by that doesn't make sense, they look confused/retarded, they run away or I eject. Repeat that a couple times. Everytime I tried to dance with a girl I get rejected. Although once again I didn't give a fuck, I learned something important. 

You can 'not give a fuck' in the sense that you approach thinking "They're going to reject me, w/e, I don't give a fuck"
Or you can 'not give a fuck' by approaching and thinking "Hey, I don't give a fuck, but these girls seriously can't deny that I'm a cool fun guy just from my approach, smile, and eye contact"

I realized this later in the night and I did notice a difference, although it was a subtle difference because overall I wasn't feeling in state. All it takes is spending a little too much time without approaching or talking to friends before I start to get in my own head, and start to get comfortable in my own head with my thoughts. Then that also leads to some approach anxiety. 

The other thing is, and this is an important thing, is that I just don't like these venues. Sure, there are hot young teenage girls, but they're just sooo ADD I can't handle it. I'm not a dancing monkey, nor am I a super aggressive guy that's going to get in their face and start barking at them like a drill sargent. Maybe in the future that will be my comfort zone, but at this point I feel too mellow to do that while being congruent. 

Nevertheless, I did do some hard sets and show persistance. I approached two HB8, 8.5s on the dance floor, they said their lesbians or some shit, and started walking away, I persisted until one girl turned around and told me to leave. Another set, I stepped up to a hb7.5-8 at a booth with intense eye contact and her friend started pushing me away. I just started dancing in front of the friend while she somehow tried to say I was gross...she was lying because there's no way that's possible. 

I text redhead and meet up with her on the dance floor. Grind and enjoy feeling up her body. Didn't escalate too much or go for the make out at the dance floor, which I should have. Later at the bar area when I did try to turn her head and kiss her, she wasn't feeling it.  However I did escalate and make out with big blonde girl. And we actually had a nice talk, she's into science like me. She was on drugs, apparantly she's a lot quieter and more shy when sober, but she was a good converser whilst rolling. She number closed me and honestly I think I'll hit her up because she is actually cute for a big girl, and fucking big girls (I've only fucked one before) really is more cushion for the pushin lol. Don't deny it. 

Fast forward the venue is closing, I'm not feeling in state, the two asian girls from the beginning of the night are ready bounce withe me and villainous. We tried to pick up wine on the way back to the apt but couldn't, damn. So all 4 of us went back to my apt. Villainous with the 7-7.5 and me with the gernade. We find a couple occasions to get alone with our girls (such as smoking a cig with my girl), and we have good, deep conversation. Then Vil and his girl go to get food and I continue talking to my girl. I decide fuckit and go for the make out. She resists, then we make out. She's turned on but stops at some point. I talked a little bit, (said some shit about her being confident, us just being friends, etc. Shit that probably was too logical or weird, killed the mood) she decides she doesn't want to do this anymore. I try again one more time later by pulling her into my room and aggressivley pushing her against the wall to make out. She's laughing, then she starts calling out for her sister lol. W/E I tried! fuck. 

The girls leave together for girl chat. Come back and sit back down on the couch. At this point I REALLY don't give a fuck because I have to wake up in 3 hours for my internship. I sit next to the smaller girl, try to pull her in, she's rigid as a...rigid person. And then the girls are like "ok let's go now."

Eh...ok whatever. Good reference experiences in terms of pulling and opening effectivley. For some reason I decided to lower my standards and hang out with chubby unattractive girls (but seriously though...they were kind of cool personalities), something which I don't want to repeat.

Also, I think it's important to go to venues that resonate with my aesthetics and energy level. Because there's no point in going to a place where I can't enjoy the atmosphere, just so I can talk to some hot girls. I'd much rather meet hot girls at places that I would otherwise like to be at. 
__________________
 
Login or register to post.
#48
neurosponge

neurosponge

Member

Join Date: 07/02/2012 | Posts: 80

 I went on a 10 day meditation retreat at the end of the year, came back January 1st. Well, every day was chock-full of insights and personal growth. But I'll distill some few key points (insights) that I gained that pertain especially to my journey with women. Some of them didn't come from the meditation per se, but from the conversations I had with people after the silent portion ended (day 10):

Being a Man

A man does what he knows is right for himself and for others. That means pursuing his personal growth, being a provider and protector of his loved ones (and all people, if applicable), engaging in the world, finding hobbies and interests.

A man has an solid inner assurance that he can and will do all of those things. This includes deep confidence in his skills and abilities, an unwavering mastery over his own mind, and willpower of steel.

Some guys have one but not the other, and neither one by itself is being a Man. Some have one and develop the other later. I think I'm doing great in the first one, the second is what I must come to embody as I mature. 

Being a Warrior

I was not familiar with the King, Magian, Warrior, Lover archetypes before, but I am a big fan of Carl Jung. So when I heard a guy talking about this stuff it clicked with me immediately. 

I think naturally I fall within the Magician and King archetypes because of my fascination with the unknown and unseen, and my goodwill/inclusivness and desire to improve humanity. To a lesser degree I embody the Lover archetype because I am very passionate (about art & music, during sex, etc), but I somtimes have some conflicting desires (outcome dependence at times, then throwing my hands up in apathy at other times) and have not explored my sexuality fully.

To an even lesser degree do I embody the Warrior archetype. Partly because I've never had a real need to be one (the hidden danger of a steralized middle-class upbringing), and partly because I value peace such that I am more wiling to shoulder hurt and disrespect than to dole it out (i.e. an inbalance between the Sadist and Masochist shadows). My loyalty to my friends has never been put to the test. I'm much more likeley to over-think than I am to TAKE ACTION. Sometimes I give in to laziness instead of manning up and doing what I need to do whether it be school, social, family, etc. I don't exercise with the discipline and regularity that I should. 

That being said, it's not ALL hopeless. I am able and wiling to take a great amount of physical and psychological pain, and I am resolute on my ultimate path in life, and believe that I won't get side-tracked by anything. Those are good qualities of the Warrior, but as I grow and mature into a Man (see it all ties in together), I will come into my physicality through exercise and develop that inner core of self-control.

I'm a calm, loving, peaceful person

That's it, there's no way around it. That's how I find happiness, and others will have to accept me for it. Specifically, there's NO way I can be congruent by being a dancing monkey (well, sometimes if I'm feeling in that mood), or by being super polarizing/in your face. I LOVE people and I LOVE accepting people for their unique characteristics, flaws etc. 

It may not lend itself to being a Warrior, and it makes it difficult to find and set my own boundaries. Also, it doesn't lend itself to "going hard" every night at nightclubs (at least I don't think, I'm willing to try it out for a bit longer). But you know what, that's my own personal unique path, and I LOVE it. 

How it all ties together (to Game specifically)

Coming back from this meditation retreat, I was unsure of how I would handle girls. Vipassana meditation is amazing, and I had gotten so much work done in terms of learning how to handle my desires and fears, as well as pain and happiness, with equanimity (i.e being UNREACTIVE, and not being a slave to your mind/body), that I didn't want to throw that inner peace out of whack by starting to chase girls again. 

Then I just watched a video by Tyler and it made sense. 

There are many 'fields' of life that I can train and develop the qualities that make me into a Man (a fullfillment of the 4 archetypes). These include School, the Gym, my Room when I meditate, my Apartment when I cook/read/rest, my sometimes ridiculous Family. Another powerful field or training ground is nightlife, where I can really put to the test my masculinity, my boundaries, and my TAKING ACTION. Daygame is an even more potent training opportunity for me because it is the chance for these qualities to permeate into my daily life (for example, approaching a hot girl while I'm on a study break at the library).

Each of these fields contains pitfalls that may threaten to knock me off the right path. For example, becoming overly competative (or utterly overwhelmed and averse) in School, having Game take over my mind and thoughts (been there, it's not fun), coming up with excuses not to go to the Gym. etc. But ultimately, I will navigate these pitfalls with intelligence, willpower, and equanimity.

So...the next step? I knock out a few sections on the cognitive enhancement paper I'm writing for my school's undergraduate neuroscience journal. Start formulating an intensive yet sustainable weekly study/workout/sleep/etc schedule. Meditate. Then go out and hit up the bars ;).

Happy Travelings, all

-Neuro
__________________
 
Login or register to post.
#49
neurosponge

neurosponge

Member

Join Date: 07/02/2012 | Posts: 80

 Back on RSD!

I took a 3 month hiatus from cold approach. Had the most intense/challanging/important quarter of college, so school took up a lot of my "priority hours" (TM). Other than studying a ridiculous ammount, I was meditating, reading several of cool books, running and working out, and cooking( halfway thru the quarter it became hard to maintain the consistency in the positive habits so I ended up eating out more than I'd like). After challenging myself more than I ever had in acdemics and succeeding, I feel enthusiastic about challening myself to break down social boundaries and attract beautiful girls into my life by putting my personality on the line and working on the fundamentals of game. 

Sat March 30

My friend and I snuck into an anime convention. Nerds galore. There were definitely some cute and scantily clad girls. I talked to a bunch, got a furry's number (she was rocking a tail). Sat next to a cute girl playing a DS and had a nice conversation. started taking pictures with her then I kissed her on the cheek while taking the picture. She was laughing then started shit testing my friend and I hard lol. She took my number and I'm sure she deleted it right after. 

Also I stopped a girl with a bunch of tattoos, and was asking her about them. She had a batman one on her cleavage, and as I was pointing at it my finger brushed up lightly against it. I was like "oh sorry I just touched your boob." She got so pissed off and was yelling at my violently so I just backed away saying I'm sorry I'm sorry lol. That kind of shook me up. Did a few more feeble approaches after that but I was pretty much done for the day 

Lesson: 
I feel bad when I step on people's toes, but I shouldn't let it get to me or stop me from pushing hard. It was just a mistake; I'm not an asshole.
There are some girls who...it's probably better just to stay away.
If you escalate too quickly, you'll pay for it one way or another (shit tests or...violent threats)

Sun March 31

Had a great productive day. Went to the bookstore to buy a textbook and do some approaches. Saw a tall (6 ft) leggy blonde with a shapley nose checking out. I stalled for a bit until she was done checking out then followed her out the door. As she was leaving the store I kind of jumped into a situational opener:

"got your last minute books?"
"yeah...actually it's a spiral notebook"
"those are crucial"
we parted ways and I walked down the sidewalk. But I looked behind me and she was following. So I re-opened.
"Are you an art major by any chance"
"No psychology"
"Oh I love psychology"
blah blah. We had a good short convo. She went into a restaurant and I saw her about an hour later and she waved at me but I didn't re-open. Should've! Hopefully I'll see her around campus. It was interesting to observe her nervousness. She would just look ahead while answering my questions or talking. I felt like I could tell a lot about what she was feeling based on her body language. 

Talked to a few other girls, nothing that special. 

Lesson:
Although there are lots of hot girls, there are also lots of situations (groups, walking sets, girls that look busy) which create lots of potential excuses for not opening. It'll be important for me to somehow bypass these self-limiting excuses and push the boundaries.
Re-engage! Always when you get the chance. 
Learn to observe body language and use it as feedback for how to adjust my language and body language. 

Overall I'm happy with my first few days back in this. Probably going to do a lot more day game on campus than going out to bars & clubs. 
__________________
 
Login or register to post.
#50
neurosponge

neurosponge

Member

Join Date: 07/02/2012 | Posts: 80

First day of classes today. In math I tried looking for a hot girl near the front of the class to sit next to. Best I could find was two chattering girls, so I went and sat by them. Made small talk with an international student sitting to my left. Then I turned to the hotter one and asked her about a different class she said she was in. That went well. As the class got out I saw a girl that I saw a long time ago and opened her. She’s not that hot, maybe a 7, but she seems cool. She number closed me as we were walking thru campus, talking about graduation stuff.

Then I meandered around campus and the book store to do some chores and approached attractive girls as I saw them. There were A LOT of attractive girls so I had to pick and choose sometimes. Mostly I stuck to approaching girls with whom I could use a situational opener (i.e. I’ve seen her before, she had a big intimidating-looking textbook, she had cool spotted pants, or she had a nice trench coat). I avoided opening direct with “I think you’re cute,” and I think that’s probably for the best. Still, sometimes there’s girls whom I have nothing to say to except “I think you’re cute,” so that’s something to work on.
Out of the 6 or so approaches, most were just chatting then ejecting. With one girl (cute blonde) I had a really long talk about school and stuff and we go to the same Japanese conversation group sometimes so I’ll see her there.

Lessons:
1) It’s my last quarter of college. Now or never baby! This knowledge gives me a feeling of freedom. I feel like I’m back to being a freshman (easy classes) but now on God Mode. I can dominate my classes and meet as many girls as I wish I could’ve before.
2) Momentum is amazing. By the time I went back to my apartment for lunch it was easy for me to open any girl I wanted (with a few exceptions whom I couldn’t get the balls to open direct) because I was jumping from girl to girl in a natural way.

Later in the day my friend came by campus to do some approaches with me. We mostly just walked around enjoying the sun, but I finally found a cute freshman walking by so I walked with her and talked, ejected without asking for a number, though. It felt kind of forced to ask for her number, like it wouldn’t be solid. Instead I hope I’ll see her again then it’ll be more natural to ask for her number.

Finished the day by inviting HBBlackNurse over to my apartment, hadn’t seen her in a long while. I cooked dinner, we talked, made out, exchanged back massages and listened to good music. But I think we kind of realized that we have different ways of going about relationships. I’m definitely more casual and independent whereas she wants something deeper and more co-dependent (she’s also a celibate whereas I am all about exploring my sexuality). Anyway I walked her back, dunno if I’ll see her again.

Great first day of the quarter. Going to meditate now, then wake up tomorrow and hit the gym.

-Neuro
__________________
 
Login or register to post.