THE FORUMS
Looks like you are practicing some great reframing of your thoughts. You know exactly what to do and what to expect, and you know that your negative emotions are baseless. You are ready to take action. Have at it!
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My Second 30 Day Challenge FR http://www.rsdnation.com/node/233721/forum?page=7
Hey man, i recently did a 30dc over june-july.
Every fucking night i didnt want to do it. My brain rationalised every possible reason not to.
The only sucess barrier i gave myself was to GO OUT. If i did it was a WIN. I was doing something - and it was better than nothing. Even if i baulked at 5 approaches and it felt horendously unconfortable it was a WIN.
Your going to learn alot about yourself real quick and its an epic ride. Soon it will feel really un natural not to go out.
Just fous on the process. Always on your process and be totally comitted to be CONGRUENT to exactly how you feel at the time.
I fight being congruent alot and its funny what really good shit becomes of it.
Best of luck
Every fucking night i didnt want to do it. My brain rationalised every possible reason not to.
The only sucess barrier i gave myself was to GO OUT. If i did it was a WIN. I was doing something - and it was better than nothing. Even if i baulked at 5 approaches and it felt horendously unconfortable it was a WIN.
Your going to learn alot about yourself real quick and its an epic ride. Soon it will feel really un natural not to go out.
Just fous on the process. Always on your process and be totally comitted to be CONGRUENT to exactly how you feel at the time.
I fight being congruent alot and its funny what really good shit becomes of it.
Best of luck
Thanks for the comments guys! Very uplifting and a source of motivation. Much appreceiated!
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*DAY 1: FEILD REPORT*
Tonight was an EPIC FAIL.
Well, I guess not too bad. I showed up. And to be honest, I wasn't expecting much since it was my first night out alone. Ever.
I didn't approach one girl. I went to 4 different venues within 45 minutes. One of them I was there for less than 4 minutes. Another I saw I girl that I had gotten her number a while back and had a day 2 with the next day. I don't know if she saw me or not, but it freaked me out a little and I dipped.
It was probably the best venue too and I should have just stayed there. Oh well.
Tonight was kind of dead too and I guess I was just a little over anxious because I felt I wouldn't blend in as well as I would if it were a busier night.
The thing is, though, all the nights I most likely won't have a wing are the slow nights. It's just something I'm going to have to get over.
I definitely wasn't as anxious as I would have been going out alone a year ago. I feel somewhat comfortable in bars/clubs since I've gone out so much the past 8 or 9 months.
I think at this point, when I have wings available I need focus solely on approaching to gain as much reference experience as possible. In theory, I should be more at ease approaching when I'm solo.
I'm also going to start approaching throughout my day. I think it will kind of simulate me beasting the venues alone.
Going out alone and hitting up women is still a little out of my reality and a bit weird.
I know I have it in me and I know it's only going to make me stronger, so I'm looking forward to going out alone again. I'm for sure going to have to since I'm fully committed to this 30-day challenge.
FUCK IT, tomorrow is a new day! And I should have a wing available. Approaching is key! It's the solution to everything.
Don't spend money on booze (I didn't drink tonight anyways - it's part of the challenge), don't smoke as much (I actually bought a pack tonight, which I haven't been doing lately), and get laid more! It's either win, win. Or lose, lose.
Therefore, approaching is a necessity!
Tonight was an EPIC FAIL.
Well, I guess not too bad. I showed up. And to be honest, I wasn't expecting much since it was my first night out alone. Ever.
I didn't approach one girl. I went to 4 different venues within 45 minutes. One of them I was there for less than 4 minutes. Another I saw I girl that I had gotten her number a while back and had a day 2 with the next day. I don't know if she saw me or not, but it freaked me out a little and I dipped.
It was probably the best venue too and I should have just stayed there. Oh well.
Tonight was kind of dead too and I guess I was just a little over anxious because I felt I wouldn't blend in as well as I would if it were a busier night.
The thing is, though, all the nights I most likely won't have a wing are the slow nights. It's just something I'm going to have to get over.
I definitely wasn't as anxious as I would have been going out alone a year ago. I feel somewhat comfortable in bars/clubs since I've gone out so much the past 8 or 9 months.
I think at this point, when I have wings available I need focus solely on approaching to gain as much reference experience as possible. In theory, I should be more at ease approaching when I'm solo.
I'm also going to start approaching throughout my day. I think it will kind of simulate me beasting the venues alone.
Going out alone and hitting up women is still a little out of my reality and a bit weird.
I know I have it in me and I know it's only going to make me stronger, so I'm looking forward to going out alone again. I'm for sure going to have to since I'm fully committed to this 30-day challenge.
FUCK IT, tomorrow is a new day! And I should have a wing available. Approaching is key! It's the solution to everything.
Don't spend money on booze (I didn't drink tonight anyways - it's part of the challenge), don't smoke as much (I actually bought a pack tonight, which I haven't been doing lately), and get laid more! It's either win, win. Or lose, lose.
Therefore, approaching is a necessity!
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*FIELD REPORT: DAY 2*
Ok, so I guess this is actually field report day 0. I failed to overcome my desires to "blend in" and got a little drunk last night. Therefore, a friend of mine is making me start my 30-day challenge over.
To be honest, it's not that big of a deal to me. I mean yea, it kinda sucks that I didn't dig myself out of the whirlwind of bad nights naturally, but last night, I totally regained the reference experiences I needed to reenforce the belief that it really doesn't matter. And hopefully, I'll be able to go out tonight and hit up sober, no problem.
That being said, I fucking killed it last night.
Originally, I met up with a friend I hadn't seen in a while. He's a little awkward and kind of weird - in a way that kind of creeps girls out.
Like last night, there were two girls standing next to me, and out of nowhere, one of them turns around and says, "Did one of you guys just touch my head?"
I'm like, "wtf?!" I turn and look at my friend and he's just kind of smiling.. LOL. Other things throughout the night too, but whatever. I don't think I could of handled another night out alone.
So when I get to the venue, my friend was with two other buddies of his, and they were all already pretty drunk. I'm starting to feel a little awkward from the get go and decided to grab a beer. JUST ONE BEER.
So I go to the bar and apparently its 2 for 1. And on top of that, its a $10 minimum. Fuck. One beer turned in to 2 beers and 2 shots of fireball. I offered one to my friend, but he was already too drunk. So OF COURSE, I took em both. :)
Still not really feeling it, so I stand around a bit like a fucking douche until I build up the courage to say hi to a hispanic girl with big, fake tits.
It goes ok for the first couple of minutes, but then she starts to try and tool me. And I'm thinking to myself, "this bitch, wtf, I'm your kind of cute, but not that cute." She keeps saying things, implying she's not impressed. I even call her out: "You expect all guys to impress you?! I'm not into you like that to want to impress you."
So she tries to blow me out a couple times, but wanting to work on that aspect, I keep calling her back and continuing conversation. Finally, her friend comes over and starts asking me questions. It seems her friend was into me, laughing and touching me and shit. As I'm answering her questions, the original girl I was talking to manages to walk away.
This point I we decided to change venues. The next place is pretty dead. I get an IPA and kick it for a little. It's funny too, because this is probably the wackest bar on Thursdays - they actually made it 18 and up on Thursdays - and the "VIP host" tries to punk me into paying cover. WTF?!
After this place, we hit up a bar thats more of a club atmosphere - loud music and such. This is where I start to turn on.
I get another IPA and walk around a bit and my weird friend asks me to point some girls out for him to approach. I do. He creeps them out. And asks me for another. He goes. Creeps them out too. Another! Creeps them out too.
Finally he asks for another and I point him at this, seriously, HB9.5. This is actually a girl I wanted to talk to. Fake tits, probably a fake ass as well, super tight body. She said she was a model from LA. I didn't ask her what kind of model, but after I thought about it, she was probably a porn start or a stripper. Or maybe a model for rapper music videos.
Anyways, she's with the nasty super fat black chick. So my friend freaks a little and tells me that he'll get the fat black girl and if I go in on the 9. I'm a little buzzed off the liquid courage, but still good enough to talk, so I say fuck it and we go in....
To be continued.... duhn duhn duhnnnnn
Gotta go to work right now lol, but I'll update it later.
Ok, so I guess this is actually field report day 0. I failed to overcome my desires to "blend in" and got a little drunk last night. Therefore, a friend of mine is making me start my 30-day challenge over.
To be honest, it's not that big of a deal to me. I mean yea, it kinda sucks that I didn't dig myself out of the whirlwind of bad nights naturally, but last night, I totally regained the reference experiences I needed to reenforce the belief that it really doesn't matter. And hopefully, I'll be able to go out tonight and hit up sober, no problem.
That being said, I fucking killed it last night.
Originally, I met up with a friend I hadn't seen in a while. He's a little awkward and kind of weird - in a way that kind of creeps girls out.
Like last night, there were two girls standing next to me, and out of nowhere, one of them turns around and says, "Did one of you guys just touch my head?"
I'm like, "wtf?!" I turn and look at my friend and he's just kind of smiling.. LOL. Other things throughout the night too, but whatever. I don't think I could of handled another night out alone.
So when I get to the venue, my friend was with two other buddies of his, and they were all already pretty drunk. I'm starting to feel a little awkward from the get go and decided to grab a beer. JUST ONE BEER.
So I go to the bar and apparently its 2 for 1. And on top of that, its a $10 minimum. Fuck. One beer turned in to 2 beers and 2 shots of fireball. I offered one to my friend, but he was already too drunk. So OF COURSE, I took em both. :)
Still not really feeling it, so I stand around a bit like a fucking douche until I build up the courage to say hi to a hispanic girl with big, fake tits.
It goes ok for the first couple of minutes, but then she starts to try and tool me. And I'm thinking to myself, "this bitch, wtf, I'm your kind of cute, but not that cute." She keeps saying things, implying she's not impressed. I even call her out: "You expect all guys to impress you?! I'm not into you like that to want to impress you."
So she tries to blow me out a couple times, but wanting to work on that aspect, I keep calling her back and continuing conversation. Finally, her friend comes over and starts asking me questions. It seems her friend was into me, laughing and touching me and shit. As I'm answering her questions, the original girl I was talking to manages to walk away.
This point I we decided to change venues. The next place is pretty dead. I get an IPA and kick it for a little. It's funny too, because this is probably the wackest bar on Thursdays - they actually made it 18 and up on Thursdays - and the "VIP host" tries to punk me into paying cover. WTF?!
After this place, we hit up a bar thats more of a club atmosphere - loud music and such. This is where I start to turn on.
I get another IPA and walk around a bit and my weird friend asks me to point some girls out for him to approach. I do. He creeps them out. And asks me for another. He goes. Creeps them out too. Another! Creeps them out too.
Finally he asks for another and I point him at this, seriously, HB9.5. This is actually a girl I wanted to talk to. Fake tits, probably a fake ass as well, super tight body. She said she was a model from LA. I didn't ask her what kind of model, but after I thought about it, she was probably a porn start or a stripper. Or maybe a model for rapper music videos.
Anyways, she's with the nasty super fat black chick. So my friend freaks a little and tells me that he'll get the fat black girl and if I go in on the 9. I'm a little buzzed off the liquid courage, but still good enough to talk, so I say fuck it and we go in....
To be continued.... duhn duhn duhnnnnn
Gotta go to work right now lol, but I'll update it later.
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dude awesome report. There will be days that you wont even feel like approaching man. You can be the best at this and those days will still come. Keep taking action bro
Im also doing a 30 day challenge but at day game. Check it out!
Good luck
Im also doing a 30 day challenge but at day game. Check it out!
Good luck
__________________
My Chode Confession (BACK IN MY RETARD TIMES LOL): http://www.rsdnation.com/node/233115/forum?page=3
My journal (INDEX IS IN FIRST PAGE OF JOURNAL) http://www.rsdnation.com/node/227409/forum (Current: 10th 30 DAY-JOURNEY TO AWESOMENESS and my JOURNEY TO THE MILLIONARIE)
GPS in Peru: www.nvzglobal.com
My Chode Confession (BACK IN MY RETARD TIMES LOL): http://www.rsdnation.com/node/233115/forum?page=3
My journal (INDEX IS IN FIRST PAGE OF JOURNAL) http://www.rsdnation.com/node/227409/forum (Current: 10th 30 DAY-JOURNEY TO AWESOMENESS and my JOURNEY TO THE MILLIONARIE)
GPS in Peru: www.nvzglobal.com
*FEILD REPORT: DAY 2 CONTINUED*
OK, so I have like an hour left at work, but I'm here alone, so I'll try to finish this if I can.
So back to the HB9.5: I start chatting her up with random bull shit. Her name, where she's from, etc. I start singing the songs that are playing, dancing unphysically, and she's doing the same. I grab her hand to spin her around to make her back it up on me because it's bump and grind kind of music playing and I want her fat, probably fake ass on my dick.
But everytime I grab her to spin her around, she does a full spin. I did it twice and call her out by asking her if she doesn't know how to dance. She repsonse by telling me that she doesn't know me. So I introduce myself again. She laughs a little, but doesn't really by it. I do the the little Tyler dance (you might or might not know what I'm talking about) and stare her down - super eye contact. She tries to keep serious, but ends up busting up laugh. I win.
I notice her fat, black friend is no longer occupied by my friend and lose a little confidence. She realizes this and politely excuses herself to the bathroom. I internally understand and tell her it was nice to meet her and I'll find her later. Fuck. Oh well.
I hit up a few other girls. It's cool. And then my other friend (approaches a lot, sober, super dedicated) texts me that he's outside. I go to the smoking patio/exit and try to talk the bouncer into giving him a stamp because he didn't get one with he left. Fail.
We decide to go else where. We get to the next venue and I tell him to point out a girl to approach. Boom, I go in. Chat for a bit, bored. Another. Boom, go in. She super nice. Tell me she just got married and her husband is right next to me and her watching/listening to everything. I meet him, cool dude. Congrats (she wasn't that cute anyways).
Venue change. Pick a girl for me! Boom, approach. Going good. Hitting state. We decided to hit the streets. Now I'm not failing to execute at all. Boom. Appraoch. Boom. Approach.
We decide to go back to the bar/club with the HB9. I tell my friend to tell the bouncer his stamp must have washed off. When we get there, its already like 1 and they aren't letting anyone in unless them have a stamp. We see three dudes get declined trying to show stamps that they didn't have. Fuck it. Asume. I wen't up to the bouncer he sees my stamps, looks at my friend's wrist and tell him none of the stamps on his arm is from his bar.
I immediately tell him, he was just in there with me. My friend says it must have washed off. We're in.
Point more girls out for me bro! Boom. Approach. Boom. Approach. Now I really don't give a fuck and I'm approaching anything and everything. This girl walks by, I grab her, say, "Hi, who are you?" Make out. Push her away. Pull her back in. Make out. Wash rinse repeat until I get bored and let her leave.
I ask my boy to point out another girl again, and I guess because I'm executing so hard he decides to get creative and points out a girl behind the VIP section on top of the stage-like area, next to her boyfriend or some random dude. Can't tell. Don't really care.
I walk a straight line, ignoring all in my path. Get to her, introduce myself. She's not interested, I plow, dude next to her is just watching. Obviously amused. She gets boring. I say what's up to the dude and complement him on his sick hat. Cool.
My boy points out another girl behind another VIP section on the otherside of the dance area. Boom. I go. I litterally have to push some dude out of the way just to get her attention. Which I think was actually her boyfriend because the whole time he was trying to get my attention and telling me to leave. But I wave her down and try to get her to kneel down. She's doesn't want to. Shaking her head. I tell her two seconds. She finally kneels down. I introduce myself and she immediately stands back up continuing to ignore me.
Dude/her boyfriend/gay friend continues to try to tool me, but I tool him hard by pointing out the fact that we're both wearing the same gay black Lacoste polo. I point back and forth to the little alligator on my shirt and then his telling him how cool we both are.
Fun times. Ohh and I saw the HB9 getting her neck bitten by some tall, buff, ugly black dude. I knew she was into black dudes. Why do girls with that type of body always seem to like black dudes? I love that type of body too. I always tend to lose em to tall , buff black dudes. In the future I plan to tool them and fuck the shit out of these girls. Right now, those type of girls just seem to think it's cute that I try. So far, I've only really gotten one, but I gave her up after a couple months of cherishing to continue gaming. She was trying to get into a committed relationship.
All in all, besides the drinking. I had a really fun, successful night.
I can't drink like this anymore though. I didn't get out of bed until 1pm. Luckily I didn't have to work until 3. Tonight's a new night and I have all the pimps that I normally go out with for support tonight too. Should be fun!
OK, so I have like an hour left at work, but I'm here alone, so I'll try to finish this if I can.
So back to the HB9.5: I start chatting her up with random bull shit. Her name, where she's from, etc. I start singing the songs that are playing, dancing unphysically, and she's doing the same. I grab her hand to spin her around to make her back it up on me because it's bump and grind kind of music playing and I want her fat, probably fake ass on my dick.
But everytime I grab her to spin her around, she does a full spin. I did it twice and call her out by asking her if she doesn't know how to dance. She repsonse by telling me that she doesn't know me. So I introduce myself again. She laughs a little, but doesn't really by it. I do the the little Tyler dance (you might or might not know what I'm talking about) and stare her down - super eye contact. She tries to keep serious, but ends up busting up laugh. I win.
I notice her fat, black friend is no longer occupied by my friend and lose a little confidence. She realizes this and politely excuses herself to the bathroom. I internally understand and tell her it was nice to meet her and I'll find her later. Fuck. Oh well.
I hit up a few other girls. It's cool. And then my other friend (approaches a lot, sober, super dedicated) texts me that he's outside. I go to the smoking patio/exit and try to talk the bouncer into giving him a stamp because he didn't get one with he left. Fail.
We decide to go else where. We get to the next venue and I tell him to point out a girl to approach. Boom, I go in. Chat for a bit, bored. Another. Boom, go in. She super nice. Tell me she just got married and her husband is right next to me and her watching/listening to everything. I meet him, cool dude. Congrats (she wasn't that cute anyways).
Venue change. Pick a girl for me! Boom, approach. Going good. Hitting state. We decided to hit the streets. Now I'm not failing to execute at all. Boom. Appraoch. Boom. Approach.
We decide to go back to the bar/club with the HB9. I tell my friend to tell the bouncer his stamp must have washed off. When we get there, its already like 1 and they aren't letting anyone in unless them have a stamp. We see three dudes get declined trying to show stamps that they didn't have. Fuck it. Asume. I wen't up to the bouncer he sees my stamps, looks at my friend's wrist and tell him none of the stamps on his arm is from his bar.
I immediately tell him, he was just in there with me. My friend says it must have washed off. We're in.
Point more girls out for me bro! Boom. Approach. Boom. Approach. Now I really don't give a fuck and I'm approaching anything and everything. This girl walks by, I grab her, say, "Hi, who are you?" Make out. Push her away. Pull her back in. Make out. Wash rinse repeat until I get bored and let her leave.
I ask my boy to point out another girl again, and I guess because I'm executing so hard he decides to get creative and points out a girl behind the VIP section on top of the stage-like area, next to her boyfriend or some random dude. Can't tell. Don't really care.
I walk a straight line, ignoring all in my path. Get to her, introduce myself. She's not interested, I plow, dude next to her is just watching. Obviously amused. She gets boring. I say what's up to the dude and complement him on his sick hat. Cool.
My boy points out another girl behind another VIP section on the otherside of the dance area. Boom. I go. I litterally have to push some dude out of the way just to get her attention. Which I think was actually her boyfriend because the whole time he was trying to get my attention and telling me to leave. But I wave her down and try to get her to kneel down. She's doesn't want to. Shaking her head. I tell her two seconds. She finally kneels down. I introduce myself and she immediately stands back up continuing to ignore me.
Dude/her boyfriend/gay friend continues to try to tool me, but I tool him hard by pointing out the fact that we're both wearing the same gay black Lacoste polo. I point back and forth to the little alligator on my shirt and then his telling him how cool we both are.
Fun times. Ohh and I saw the HB9 getting her neck bitten by some tall, buff, ugly black dude. I knew she was into black dudes. Why do girls with that type of body always seem to like black dudes? I love that type of body too. I always tend to lose em to tall , buff black dudes. In the future I plan to tool them and fuck the shit out of these girls. Right now, those type of girls just seem to think it's cute that I try. So far, I've only really gotten one, but I gave her up after a couple months of cherishing to continue gaming. She was trying to get into a committed relationship.
All in all, besides the drinking. I had a really fun, successful night.
I can't drink like this anymore though. I didn't get out of bed until 1pm. Luckily I didn't have to work until 3. Tonight's a new night and I have all the pimps that I normally go out with for support tonight too. Should be fun!
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FIELD REPORT: DAY ONE #2*
Ahhh, feels good to wake up without a hangover. Didn't drink last night, although offered multiple times by friends.
So last night started off reaaaallly slow. I couldn't pull myself to approach anyone. When I met up with a friend of mine, I weakly chatted at a couple of girls that were kind of forced next to us at the bar. Then a couple of friends and I walk outside and engage in logical, a little humorous conversation until we decide to change venues.
We hit up the next place, its kind of dead. I'm still in my head and don't approach. It's funny because at times, I'll lose my balance on a step for a second - wobbling a little bit. That's how stifled I am at the beginning of the night.
We change venues again, still a little dead, but a little better. I see a girl I want to approach, I don't. See another, again I don't.
We decide to change venues again. On the way, we run into another friend that I wanted to meet up with because he's total beast and approaches non-stop. I recall watching an Anthony Robins interview with a couple IM guys and he's talking about why certian people take action while others don't. One of the things he suggests, is if you don't have the hunger, find people that are hunrgy and eventually something will click.
The friend I was originally with just isn't as that hungry - he's more kind of an Alexander type that just chills back and kind of goes with the flow. Definitely not a bad thing, but I can't really do that, I need to build momentum when I'm in a club/bar envoirnment. I need to HIT IT UP. And that's how my other friend is.
So I end up going to another venue with the first friend and telling the 2nd friend that I'd meet up later. We get to the next venue and I continue with my stand-offish behavior. I tell my boy I'm gonna step outside. I text my 2nd friend to meet up.
I tell my frist friend to meet me at another venue because I'm gonna meet up with my 2nd friend and after some reluctance, he agrees. (btw, I didn't just ditch him, he was with another buddy).
I get to the venue and meet up with 2nd friend, he's with a couple other other community dudes. We walk around for a second and he goes in on a two set off on their own (that I was gonna walk right past). I go to go in, but make a circle behind him instead and then just kind of stand there for a second.
Finally I say fuck it and tap one on the shoulder and say hi. We chat for a few minutes then get bored and move on. The ball starts to get rolling. I do a few more approaches.
We venue change. Do some approaches on the street, including one that I fucking boss. I would have made out with her, but her friend kept screaming she was married with 5 kids and a dude from there group kept eyeing me. It made me think he was her husband and either was waiting for me to kiss her and come sock me in the face or waiting for me to kiss her and then get off by it. Either way, I was a little creeped out and didn't go for it. I should have though, fuck it.
Get to the next bar, I do a couple approaches here and there. Have a little convo with a cute asian girl, I don't really like asian girls though so I was kind of over it. And I just stand around for a bit.
Then I found out another friend gets here. He's a total, kind of nerdy, boss that does some pretty insane shit. Awesome. He was the one point girls out for me when I was drunk.
He asks me to point out some girls for him. I do, he goes in. Awesome. For a few minutes as I watch him rolling around bossin' on different girls and thinking to myself: man I need to approach, I want to ask him to point some girls out, but I got that feeling in the pit of my stomach holding me back. I say fuck it and tell him to.
Total dickmode, I don't think he knows that I'm still a little stifled and haven't really been going hard, he points some talk model looking chick that's jumping around having super fun taking pictures and shit with some 6'4" and pretty good looking alpha guys (no homo). LOL. Btw, this is like a 6-7 set with 4 girls and three guys about.
I was like, "WTF?!" He tells me, "All you have to do is say hi." It's funny now that I think about it, my brain totally calmed the fuck down. I'm like ok, I guess that's ok. So I walk around the group to the side she's on to tap her on the shoulder and say hi. As I get to the there, she jumps through the middle of the group and is hugging and talking to one of the dudes. I walk back around and tap her on the shoulder.
Immediately the two dudes see this and try to AMOG me by tell her no, no, no and go to grab her, but she's kind of intrigued and is just out of their reach.
I tell her my name, she tells me hers, and I try to talk to her. She doesn't really know what I'm saying and explains to me that she's from Italy. All the while the dudes are still trying to pull her back. As I'm shaking her hand, one of the dudes tries to spin her back to him, but accidentally uses too much force and she slips into my arms.
The entire time, I'm just like super blown away because originally I was super intimidated and these guys are trying really hard to get her back and she totally wants to talk to me.
I try to chat her up a little bit more, but the accent is a little frustrating for both of us and my mind was still really blown by everything that had happened. So we part and nice to meet you.
I have my friend point a few more out. I do a couple more approaches and had an overall fun night. Super stoked too because I was 100% sober.
Still dreading the coming nights of going out alone, but I'll deal with them as they come.
Tonight's a new night. Bout to hit it up in about an hour or so and post up again tomorrow!
Ahhh, feels good to wake up without a hangover. Didn't drink last night, although offered multiple times by friends.
So last night started off reaaaallly slow. I couldn't pull myself to approach anyone. When I met up with a friend of mine, I weakly chatted at a couple of girls that were kind of forced next to us at the bar. Then a couple of friends and I walk outside and engage in logical, a little humorous conversation until we decide to change venues.
We hit up the next place, its kind of dead. I'm still in my head and don't approach. It's funny because at times, I'll lose my balance on a step for a second - wobbling a little bit. That's how stifled I am at the beginning of the night.
We change venues again, still a little dead, but a little better. I see a girl I want to approach, I don't. See another, again I don't.
We decide to change venues again. On the way, we run into another friend that I wanted to meet up with because he's total beast and approaches non-stop. I recall watching an Anthony Robins interview with a couple IM guys and he's talking about why certian people take action while others don't. One of the things he suggests, is if you don't have the hunger, find people that are hunrgy and eventually something will click.
The friend I was originally with just isn't as that hungry - he's more kind of an Alexander type that just chills back and kind of goes with the flow. Definitely not a bad thing, but I can't really do that, I need to build momentum when I'm in a club/bar envoirnment. I need to HIT IT UP. And that's how my other friend is.
So I end up going to another venue with the first friend and telling the 2nd friend that I'd meet up later. We get to the next venue and I continue with my stand-offish behavior. I tell my boy I'm gonna step outside. I text my 2nd friend to meet up.
I tell my frist friend to meet me at another venue because I'm gonna meet up with my 2nd friend and after some reluctance, he agrees. (btw, I didn't just ditch him, he was with another buddy).
I get to the venue and meet up with 2nd friend, he's with a couple other other community dudes. We walk around for a second and he goes in on a two set off on their own (that I was gonna walk right past). I go to go in, but make a circle behind him instead and then just kind of stand there for a second.
Finally I say fuck it and tap one on the shoulder and say hi. We chat for a few minutes then get bored and move on. The ball starts to get rolling. I do a few more approaches.
We venue change. Do some approaches on the street, including one that I fucking boss. I would have made out with her, but her friend kept screaming she was married with 5 kids and a dude from there group kept eyeing me. It made me think he was her husband and either was waiting for me to kiss her and come sock me in the face or waiting for me to kiss her and then get off by it. Either way, I was a little creeped out and didn't go for it. I should have though, fuck it.
Get to the next bar, I do a couple approaches here and there. Have a little convo with a cute asian girl, I don't really like asian girls though so I was kind of over it. And I just stand around for a bit.
Then I found out another friend gets here. He's a total, kind of nerdy, boss that does some pretty insane shit. Awesome. He was the one point girls out for me when I was drunk.
He asks me to point out some girls for him. I do, he goes in. Awesome. For a few minutes as I watch him rolling around bossin' on different girls and thinking to myself: man I need to approach, I want to ask him to point some girls out, but I got that feeling in the pit of my stomach holding me back. I say fuck it and tell him to.
Total dickmode, I don't think he knows that I'm still a little stifled and haven't really been going hard, he points some talk model looking chick that's jumping around having super fun taking pictures and shit with some 6'4" and pretty good looking alpha guys (no homo). LOL. Btw, this is like a 6-7 set with 4 girls and three guys about.
I was like, "WTF?!" He tells me, "All you have to do is say hi." It's funny now that I think about it, my brain totally calmed the fuck down. I'm like ok, I guess that's ok. So I walk around the group to the side she's on to tap her on the shoulder and say hi. As I get to the there, she jumps through the middle of the group and is hugging and talking to one of the dudes. I walk back around and tap her on the shoulder.
Immediately the two dudes see this and try to AMOG me by tell her no, no, no and go to grab her, but she's kind of intrigued and is just out of their reach.
I tell her my name, she tells me hers, and I try to talk to her. She doesn't really know what I'm saying and explains to me that she's from Italy. All the while the dudes are still trying to pull her back. As I'm shaking her hand, one of the dudes tries to spin her back to him, but accidentally uses too much force and she slips into my arms.
The entire time, I'm just like super blown away because originally I was super intimidated and these guys are trying really hard to get her back and she totally wants to talk to me.
I try to chat her up a little bit more, but the accent is a little frustrating for both of us and my mind was still really blown by everything that had happened. So we part and nice to meet you.
I have my friend point a few more out. I do a couple more approaches and had an overall fun night. Super stoked too because I was 100% sober.
Still dreading the coming nights of going out alone, but I'll deal with them as they come.
Tonight's a new night. Bout to hit it up in about an hour or so and post up again tomorrow!
__________________
*FIELD REPORT: DAY 2*
Had the whole posse together. Was pretty good night as far as approaching. I can't recall exactly how many approaches I did, but I had my friends point some out and for the most part I didn't hesitate. Had some pretty retarded/humiliating situations, but I didn't really care. Just found it kind of funny.
My main focus was just approaching. I'm noticing some sticking points though. When I'm sober I have some really strong resistance to letting myself get loose. I feel its on a completely subconscious level because I want to get lose, but I can't. Before, after I've approached a few times, I start not giving a fuck and letting loose.
Now, I even resist getting into state. I'm not worried about it, but I just don't get to that point where you just don't give a fuck. Because of this I feel I'm going to need to take massive action to rewire my brain into letting me get into state and let loose more when sober. I'm going to add some more rules to my 30-day challenge and get back into exercise and diet:
*30-Day Challenge:
-Nights that I am alone, I must do a minimum of 2 approaches and be out for a minimum of 30 minutes to 1 hour.
-Nights that I am with a friend(s), I must do a minimum of 5 approaches with no time limit.
-Friday and Saturday nights, I must do a minimum of 20 approaches.
Why? As of right now, I have no structure besides "go out." I'm not pushing my limits because I don't have set limits. Like anything you want to achieve in life, there must be some sort of structure to guide you along. If I fail on any of these just one night, I must start my 30-day challenge over (leverage).
For nights that I am alone, which I am totally freaked out about and not use to. 2 approaches isn't too intimidating, but at the same time it's challenging because I haven't even done 1 approach while alone.
For nights that I am with a wing, 5 is easy. Once I get to 5, I'll probably keep going because of the momentum and I'll exceed the nightly goal. The main reason that I choose the number 5 is so I get it going on a consistent basis and the number isn't too intimidating on a slow night.
As for Friday and Saturday, these are busy and long nights. Other nights, I might go out for 2-3 hours, where the prime nights can last up to 5 or long. On top of this, most of the venues we hit are packed with more than enough opportunities to do 20 approaches. I want to soak as much reference experiences out of the prime nights as possible .
What I hope to gain: Progressive desensitization. I want to be able to approach on demand and be comfortable when I do approach, having had many reference experiences backing my belief that it really doesn't matter. That I can be myself and that is enough and build massive social momentum. I want to blow my mind with the things that I do and wake up laughing my ass off like I have with my drunk game. :)
Last week was the first week I didn't hit the gym at all in over a year. I went from 190 lbs, with no definition to 170 lbs, pretty cut up. After a few weeks of progressively taking more and more time away from the gym, I'm beginning to lose my definition and chub up a bit around the stomach. I also used to eat pretty healthy and taking daily vitamins, fish oil, etc., but now I'm eating pretty bad.
This has result in me being tired all the time, a little grouchy/anti-social, and having a super hard time waking up in the morning. Overall lowering my productivity.
*Plan of action:
-Setting alarm, and getting out of bed immediately
-Muscle building gym routine Monday - Friday
-Mixing more vegetables into the my diet (including morning smoothy)
-Supplementing with daily vitamin, fish oil, and a CLA
-Drink more water and eliminate soda
What I hope to gain: Most importantly, more energy throughout the day... and night. Better moods, clearer thoughts, increased productivity, and better muscle definition.
Had the whole posse together. Was pretty good night as far as approaching. I can't recall exactly how many approaches I did, but I had my friends point some out and for the most part I didn't hesitate. Had some pretty retarded/humiliating situations, but I didn't really care. Just found it kind of funny.
My main focus was just approaching. I'm noticing some sticking points though. When I'm sober I have some really strong resistance to letting myself get loose. I feel its on a completely subconscious level because I want to get lose, but I can't. Before, after I've approached a few times, I start not giving a fuck and letting loose.
Now, I even resist getting into state. I'm not worried about it, but I just don't get to that point where you just don't give a fuck. Because of this I feel I'm going to need to take massive action to rewire my brain into letting me get into state and let loose more when sober. I'm going to add some more rules to my 30-day challenge and get back into exercise and diet:
*30-Day Challenge:
-Nights that I am alone, I must do a minimum of 2 approaches and be out for a minimum of 30 minutes to 1 hour.
-Nights that I am with a friend(s), I must do a minimum of 5 approaches with no time limit.
-Friday and Saturday nights, I must do a minimum of 20 approaches.
Why? As of right now, I have no structure besides "go out." I'm not pushing my limits because I don't have set limits. Like anything you want to achieve in life, there must be some sort of structure to guide you along. If I fail on any of these just one night, I must start my 30-day challenge over (leverage).
For nights that I am alone, which I am totally freaked out about and not use to. 2 approaches isn't too intimidating, but at the same time it's challenging because I haven't even done 1 approach while alone.
For nights that I am with a wing, 5 is easy. Once I get to 5, I'll probably keep going because of the momentum and I'll exceed the nightly goal. The main reason that I choose the number 5 is so I get it going on a consistent basis and the number isn't too intimidating on a slow night.
As for Friday and Saturday, these are busy and long nights. Other nights, I might go out for 2-3 hours, where the prime nights can last up to 5 or long. On top of this, most of the venues we hit are packed with more than enough opportunities to do 20 approaches. I want to soak as much reference experiences out of the prime nights as possible .
What I hope to gain: Progressive desensitization. I want to be able to approach on demand and be comfortable when I do approach, having had many reference experiences backing my belief that it really doesn't matter. That I can be myself and that is enough and build massive social momentum. I want to blow my mind with the things that I do and wake up laughing my ass off like I have with my drunk game. :)
Last week was the first week I didn't hit the gym at all in over a year. I went from 190 lbs, with no definition to 170 lbs, pretty cut up. After a few weeks of progressively taking more and more time away from the gym, I'm beginning to lose my definition and chub up a bit around the stomach. I also used to eat pretty healthy and taking daily vitamins, fish oil, etc., but now I'm eating pretty bad.
This has result in me being tired all the time, a little grouchy/anti-social, and having a super hard time waking up in the morning. Overall lowering my productivity.
*Plan of action:
-Setting alarm, and getting out of bed immediately
-Muscle building gym routine Monday - Friday
-Mixing more vegetables into the my diet (including morning smoothy)
-Supplementing with daily vitamin, fish oil, and a CLA
-Drink more water and eliminate soda
What I hope to gain: Most importantly, more energy throughout the day... and night. Better moods, clearer thoughts, increased productivity, and better muscle definition.
__________________
*FIELD REPORT: DAY 3*
Super stoked! Last night was day 3, kept is sober and hit my minimum approaches (5, but I did 6. Yea, I know... I'm an over-achiever)!
Got a number and have been texting her today. Funny thing is that it wasn't even an approach I made. She beckoned me over to dance as I walking by. I obliged and danced for a bit, MO, and after I got a little bored, told her I had to use the bathroom (lol inside joke because when ever girls don't want to get out of a situation they say they have to pee).
But what really stood out last night was an approach I made and some dude tried to say it was his wife, I called him out on his bull shit. He persisted by pulling me aside and said it wasn't his wife, but if I'm gonna step up I better bring some hard fucking game. I called out the girls name, pushed him aside, started basic convo - he's just kind of watching. As I ask her what her racial background is, he says something to her, closer and louder. She ignores me, answers him, but I persist by almost yelling "(NAME), WHAT'S YOUR RACIAL BACKGROUND?!" LOL, RAS back on me and she answers, conversation ensues and douche bag sitting down pouting listening. Shut down.
Fucking awesome.
Further, today I got up and immediately got productive. Got shit done, hit the gym, ate a healthy post-workout meal. I feel pretty awesome. It's only gonna get better.
Tonight, I might or might not have a wing. So goal for tonight will be either, 2 (if alone), or 5 (w/a wing). Either way, I have a feeling tonight will be successful!
Toodles!
Super stoked! Last night was day 3, kept is sober and hit my minimum approaches (5, but I did 6. Yea, I know... I'm an over-achiever)!
Got a number and have been texting her today. Funny thing is that it wasn't even an approach I made. She beckoned me over to dance as I walking by. I obliged and danced for a bit, MO, and after I got a little bored, told her I had to use the bathroom (lol inside joke because when ever girls don't want to get out of a situation they say they have to pee).
But what really stood out last night was an approach I made and some dude tried to say it was his wife, I called him out on his bull shit. He persisted by pulling me aside and said it wasn't his wife, but if I'm gonna step up I better bring some hard fucking game. I called out the girls name, pushed him aside, started basic convo - he's just kind of watching. As I ask her what her racial background is, he says something to her, closer and louder. She ignores me, answers him, but I persist by almost yelling "(NAME), WHAT'S YOUR RACIAL BACKGROUND?!" LOL, RAS back on me and she answers, conversation ensues and douche bag sitting down pouting listening. Shut down.
Fucking awesome.
Further, today I got up and immediately got productive. Got shit done, hit the gym, ate a healthy post-workout meal. I feel pretty awesome. It's only gonna get better.
Tonight, I might or might not have a wing. So goal for tonight will be either, 2 (if alone), or 5 (w/a wing). Either way, I have a feeling tonight will be successful!
Toodles!
__________________
afl3x
Respected Member
Join Date: 10/13/2011 | Posts: 336
I declared, after a night of frustration, that I would do it for August. Since there are only 30 days.
Last night I was going to so fuck it and start it, but I ended up getting a little shit faced and blew it. Oh well. Today is a new day & I'm committed.
I'm a little nervous, but it's all good. Fuck it. I want this and I can't let my petty problems stand in the way.
It's funny because I'll be fine all day and then once I get out. I start to get a little shaky, I get all tired and anti-social. Sometimes I'll even feel like I have to take a shit or something - I get a little nauseous.
I start getting stupid thoughts in my head while looking for a girl to approach. Like, she's not good enough, or I don't see any girls in this venue that I want to approach. And when I see girl I actually DO want to approach, "I'm not warmed up yet and I don't wanna blow it!" WTF?!!!
THE GOOD THING though, is that I recognize it as lies. My body shaking? I'm not fucking nervous... There are no girls in this venue?! MY ASS! Finally see the girl I want to approach?! GO!!!!
I already have reference experience that shows, once I get going, I GET GOING! By taking action, I've overcome my body shaking - I start to get comfortable in the environment. My nausea, also caused by comfortability issues. And once I get going, I don't have thoughts anymore. I see. I go.
Therefore, the game plan:
Start off early. Get social right off the bat. Talk to strangers. It's crucial to push your comfort zone immediately, the longer it's delayed, the further down the cycle you go.
Recognize the thoughts, the biochemistry as LIES! Don't believe it. Just go in. GO FUCKING IN! It's honestly the only way. The most deceiving of all the lies are the, "I'm tired," or "I don't even feel like socializing."
It's fucking bullshit. You feel like whatever as is. Content with your state of emotions, but once you start approaching and talking (TO BEAUTIFUL WOMEN!!!!! - mind you) you feel really good! Like amazing. Way better than, "I'm tired," or "I don't even feel like socializing."
It's like a nice release from the day of the same old shit. You're able to be yourself. Have fun. And talk to hot women. Honestly, even if I don't get laid. I enjoy myself. It's pretty fucking awesome.
So the game plan is just to remember that shit. Start off early and keep going. Build the momentum and have fucking fun. If not, it can be really painful.
P.S.
I had some pretty shitty nights lately and this little rant made me remember how fucking fun this shit is and it's only myself that's stopping me from having these awesome nights again!
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