THE FORUMS
Play "kiss chase"
:P
:P
__________________
Advocate of "Cool And Friendly" Game ... "Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway" - Bruce Lee
Short answer...Be awesome.
Short response... I am awesome. I've already stated that plenty. I'm not having consistent results.
Whenever i get approached by girls im usually just having fun and not even focused on getting girls. HAVE MORE FUN?
__________________
Short response... I am awesome. I've already stated that plenty. I'm not having consistent results.
Guess this whole thing must be a great conspiracy then since you're so awesome.
If you want to get better results, you'll eventually have to face the reality that there is something wrong with *you*.
Steal their purse
teeheeeeheeeee
teeheeeeheeeee
A lot of the responses seem to be geared toward "inner game" solutions, and I wonder whether this isn't just an outer game probelm.
When you're in group, do you talk about cool opportunitie / fun activities that the whole group should do / would like to do / would be interested in? Saying things like "I'd love to get a group of people together to go to X bar every Tuesday after work" might get people to open up and say "well, we all go to Y bar every thursday after work, you should become a part of that regular group" Or, when you touch on a common interest, you can completely naturally go to a person and be like "We should totally call / text each other the next time we're doing that."
That way, you're conveying that inviting other people out / being invited out is something that's totally normal, that happens to you all the time. You're just the kind of guy who likes to invite his friends out spontaneously, and you're the kind of guy who is invited out. By saying things like "We'll just text each other the next time one of us is in a group doing that." I think it helps people transition from "This is the cool guy I talked to one night" to "This is the cool guy who includes me and whom I should include." (No one on this forum knows the difference in who and whom... seriously.)
Also, I think that just talking about logistics generally helps. What are you guys doing tomorrow? Cool, I'm doing X, text me and we'll meet up after for a drink. I really suspect that this is just an outer game problem where you're not chatting about logistics generally, so it's not subconsciously registering with these people to include you, even though they think you're a cool guy. I know tons of cool people I never call to hang out with / never call me to hang out... It just hasn't occured to me or to them. But, if you actually talk about the logistics and talk about making it a regular, normal thing, and get them to consciously agree that it would make sense to hang out / invite each other out, then it would probably help. Cool people talk about logistics and actually explicitly agree (in a casual way) that it would be fucking sweet to call each other. Otherwise, no matter how cool two people think each other are, it probably just doesn't cross each other's mind.
Also, I find that just having a regular routine with a few people leads to those people inviting you out spontaneously. I used to get lunch every Tuesday at a mexican place with two friends, and then maybe once every two weeks or so one of them would text me and invite me to this random group thing that was just happening, or I would do the same to them. They framed me as the guy they occasionally go out and do things with.
I don't know for certain (I'm still probably a beginner to intermediate), but my guess is that this is just an outer game problem, and you might not be just talking about logistics, talking about meeing up, agreeing in principle with other people to meet up. Also, if you can pull a whole group of people to an after party / diner / whatever, you'll be more likely for that group of people to invite you out during subsequent trips. But make talking about logistics a regular part of your game, and just do it in a very normal way.
EDIT: I went back and bolded the part that I thought was the most important.
When you're in group, do you talk about cool opportunitie / fun activities that the whole group should do / would like to do / would be interested in? Saying things like "I'd love to get a group of people together to go to X bar every Tuesday after work" might get people to open up and say "well, we all go to Y bar every thursday after work, you should become a part of that regular group" Or, when you touch on a common interest, you can completely naturally go to a person and be like "We should totally call / text each other the next time we're doing that."
That way, you're conveying that inviting other people out / being invited out is something that's totally normal, that happens to you all the time. You're just the kind of guy who likes to invite his friends out spontaneously, and you're the kind of guy who is invited out. By saying things like "We'll just text each other the next time one of us is in a group doing that." I think it helps people transition from "This is the cool guy I talked to one night" to "This is the cool guy who includes me and whom I should include." (No one on this forum knows the difference in who and whom... seriously.)
Also, I think that just talking about logistics generally helps. What are you guys doing tomorrow? Cool, I'm doing X, text me and we'll meet up after for a drink. I really suspect that this is just an outer game problem where you're not chatting about logistics generally, so it's not subconsciously registering with these people to include you, even though they think you're a cool guy. I know tons of cool people I never call to hang out with / never call me to hang out... It just hasn't occured to me or to them. But, if you actually talk about the logistics and talk about making it a regular, normal thing, and get them to consciously agree that it would make sense to hang out / invite each other out, then it would probably help. Cool people talk about logistics and actually explicitly agree (in a casual way) that it would be fucking sweet to call each other. Otherwise, no matter how cool two people think each other are, it probably just doesn't cross each other's mind.
Also, I find that just having a regular routine with a few people leads to those people inviting you out spontaneously. I used to get lunch every Tuesday at a mexican place with two friends, and then maybe once every two weeks or so one of them would text me and invite me to this random group thing that was just happening, or I would do the same to them. They framed me as the guy they occasionally go out and do things with.
I don't know for certain (I'm still probably a beginner to intermediate), but my guess is that this is just an outer game problem, and you might not be just talking about logistics, talking about meeing up, agreeing in principle with other people to meet up. Also, if you can pull a whole group of people to an after party / diner / whatever, you'll be more likely for that group of people to invite you out during subsequent trips. But make talking about logistics a regular part of your game, and just do it in a very normal way.
EDIT: I went back and bolded the part that I thought was the most important.
__________________
If you truly are saying what you think you are, then its a perception problem. People always invite me to do things BUT i also make a point to also call / text them when I feel like hanging out. They like hanging out with me cause apparently they "have a good time". Dunno how to describe it...
If you geniunely make people happy and laugh, then they will want to hang with you.
Then again, I am the type who gets texts at 5-8 PM on Thur - Sat nights from people who want to have a good time. It is a challenge to meet good friends who would be down hanging on the weedays. Now have a couple though, and that's all you really need. Guys who can bail you out of a bad spot.
Its not easy to make those types of friends, unless of course they just moved also to a new spot. Then it becomes much easier... now to think of it many of my friends here are out of staters, not the instate... so why don't you just go approach people who are new to town and show them around.
If you geniunely make people happy and laugh, then they will want to hang with you.
Then again, I am the type who gets texts at 5-8 PM on Thur - Sat nights from people who want to have a good time. It is a challenge to meet good friends who would be down hanging on the weedays. Now have a couple though, and that's all you really need. Guys who can bail you out of a bad spot.
Its not easy to make those types of friends, unless of course they just moved also to a new spot. Then it becomes much easier... now to think of it many of my friends here are out of staters, not the instate... so why don't you just go approach people who are new to town and show them around.
__________________
Live in Milwaukee? - Hit me up
Papa Stockholm Bootcamp - 11/21-23/2007!
Post Boot Camp:
32 F-Close
2010: 7 Lays, 2011: 9 Lays. 2012: Who knows?
My Life Journal
I am Asian and I fuck and date Blondes.
If I can do it, YOU, especially my fellow asian brothers, can do it!
Papa Stockholm Bootcamp - 11/21-23/2007!
Post Boot Camp:
32 F-Close
2010: 7 Lays, 2011: 9 Lays. 2012: Who knows?
My Life Journal
I am Asian and I fuck and date Blondes.
If I can do it, YOU, especially my fellow asian brothers, can do it!
This is a question/problem with no answer/solution. You can't force/cajole/influence/persuade people to chase or follow you. You can only control your own beliefs, emotions and actions. Stop setting impossible goals for yourself and focus on what you can control: yourself.
You really remind me of several very socially naive people who set ridiculous/unobtainable goals--they just had no perception of reality, especially of how much ground they had to cover to even sniff 1/10 of their goals. One guy who was just starting out had the goal of a harem--he wanted a different hot girlfriend for every day of the week. Problem was, he couldn't get a conversation to last for more than a minute with any girl.
Drop: "I want others to" as a goal. Substitute: "I will/I am" as your goals. Give yourself realistic increments. Good luck.
You really remind me of several very socially naive people who set ridiculous/unobtainable goals--they just had no perception of reality, especially of how much ground they had to cover to even sniff 1/10 of their goals. One guy who was just starting out had the goal of a harem--he wanted a different hot girlfriend for every day of the week. Problem was, he couldn't get a conversation to last for more than a minute with any girl.
Drop: "I want others to" as a goal. Substitute: "I will/I am" as your goals. Give yourself realistic increments. Good luck.
Two Step
Trusted Member
Join Date: 07/26/2010 | Posts: 1185
MOAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!