THE FORUMS

October 20th, 2017
Matt_C Field Reports
Your rating: None
Bookmark and Share
#11
Mdng

Mdng

Member

Join Date: 01/01/2012 | Posts: 45

Thanks for sharing your lay reports. Keep it up and good luck!
__________________
 
Login or register to post.
#12
LethalLex

LethalLex

Trusted Member

Join Date: 11/20/2010 | Posts: 1093

Ahh I went to that 5 story club in Prague and Matrix last year. My nights were considerably less gangster thatn yours though.

By the way, reached a certain milestone number the other day =P
__________________
                                                            
Login or register to post.
#13
matt_c

matt_c

Respected Member

Join Date: 11/20/2011 | Posts: 471

Nice dude. I've been a flea recently, not going out much, so I'm still on the same :-)

I'm back in my small town where I went to school. I'm randomly meeting people I went to school with 8 years ago at the local bars. Can say 1st hand that the reactions to the new game-enhanced personality are pretty crazy. Girls who didn't give a fuck about me in high school suddenly stroking my arm while they talk to me, "accidentally" kissing me on the lips when I went for a cheek kiss good bye. Cheers RSD + David D :-) (plus me!)

I approached a set and then I heard "is that cookie???" (my nickname from highschool). I didn't recognise the girl, so I was like... hmm, I am cookie, but I think it's just coincidence. But she proved to me that she knew me, so whatever, haha, she somehow remembered me from school. She was IOI bombing me so I number closed her and agreed to take her out.

So we met up earlier tonight, and wandered into some shitty bar. The bar seemed to be designed to be somewhere could people could just BE while they gambled on horses. Lovely :-) Meh, we got a drink, split bill har harrr and took a seat on some stools. Pretty much no external stimulus. Just 1 on 1 conversation. Exactly the way I like it. I'm fucking deadly in a situation like this.

On a date in isolation I get congruent as fuck. Out at the club I tend to try to convey heaps of value like a douche. I just haven't figured out what is congruent for me in that environment. Isolation I crush it, because I just go raw expression and am super CERTAIN of the outcome, while free from it. Perhaps the learning for club game congruency is here - I can become more congruent by "knowing" I am really good at it... knowing that I am able to generate outcomes. That will help me relax and stop trying to force outcomes and being desperate for them.

I ran my kino like I usually do on a date - fuck all.

After about 2 hours of insanely fun conversation I decided to bounce her. Shit logistics haha (although only in hindsight). I bounced her to her house, where her 2 room mates were thumbing about all over the place. When they'd settled a little I said "is that your room? Is it good? Let's go." Easy compliance. I chatted for a min, then just grabbed her neck, raked her in and made out with her. As an aside, awful make out - the stiff poking tongue... you know the one.

The friends were just too up in our shit, so she told me I had to go blah blah. I was way TOO FREE from outcome, so I just let it go immediately. Honestly she's not particularly hot, so I was indifferent from that perspective.

Now there's another learning about physicality. My usual style is to do practically no kino, up until I make out with them. This works something like 99% haha. BUT... it was not appropriate for the logistics I was to encounter. Those logistics were going to required her to be dripping wet, really wanting to fuck for her to do it. My style is better for when I'm pulling to my place - it's more based on huge amounts of comfort and knowing who I am. But it could be helpful sometimes to get her super keen to fuck, if you need a little more than comfort to get it over the edge.

I have another day 2 tomorrow. This ones a sexy Brazilian. I'm keen. Lol I'll be slightly less free from outcome. Let's see how it pans out.
__________________
RSD Bootcamp Alumnus : Jeffy & Alex in Melbourne, November 2011
WATCH :-)

Watch More Videos | The Matt C Mind | Twitter | Facebook
Login or register to post.
#14
matt_c

matt_c

Respected Member

Join Date: 11/20/2011 | Posts: 471

Had a day 2 with a girl tonight. I totally fucked it up :-) Some mad learnings coming out of this though.

If you have set the man-to-woman frame in the initial interaction, you are sweet. You can act however you want on the date, and everything will be interpreted through the man-to-woman frame. 

If you have not set the man-to-woman frame, you must get cracking very quickly on the day 2 before it slips into friend-friend territory.

I've been on lots of dates where I'm totally chill, fuck all kino, and still full closed with no LMR by pulling to my house. But I realised that on those dates, I'd already made out with the girl in the club, and tried to pull her and couldn't because of logistics. On this date, I had NOT made out with her. The value was there; I was clearly a cool guy, but I was not a sexual threat.

The main learning for me is that I've realised that "sexual threat" is situational. I know that in general I'm a sexual threat. If a girl is alone with me in a room, I can make it happen. BUT DUDE! The girl doesn't know this shit unless you show her! She doesn't automatically know your background. I was thinking that seeing as I've run heaps of chilled out dates that worked out with a full close, that the girl would just know that I'm assuming the pull. Nah, it doesn't work like that. She's not a mind reader. You need to proactively demonstrate your sexuality, and clearly present the man-to-woman frame - don't rely on her figuring it out via telepathy.

So basically on this date I met her, went to the bar, had awesome vibe for 2 hours, walked to her place, she kissed me on the cheek and said bye. DONE. I was actually thinking all the way till the end that the lay was going down, but that's because my interpretation of my relaxed actions were completely different to hers. 

In general, don't expect someone to assume a frame just because it's been like that for you in the past. They don't know your past, and they need to be shown the correct frame.
__________________
RSD Bootcamp Alumnus : Jeffy & Alex in Melbourne, November 2011
WATCH :-)

Watch More Videos | The Matt C Mind | Twitter | Facebook
Login or register to post.
#15
matt_c

matt_c

Respected Member

Join Date: 11/20/2011 | Posts: 471

Uhh.. there's not much value in the post unfortunately - sorry. I'm really tired and just rambling.

Ahhh... finally got a little swing back in my game tonight. 

Since I got back to my current city I haven't been consistently going out (momentum = shit), and I left my little harem for a new total of 0 girls (abundance = shit). Have been having a tough time clawing my way up.

But tonight was pretty Boss. Made out with a bunch of girls, got a few numbers. Meh to the results, but the state I was in was great.

I noticed tha major difference was the presence. I actually learned a lot about what good game is like for me.

Going in really hard like "HEY!" works for me sometimes. But I feel like it's actually just the technique working. Game that is more congruent to me is to just roll up extremely centered with a FIRM "Hey.", and then blast them with intense eye contact, and a smile that says "you're hooked. I have you".

Another thing that works well for me is when I open with very little space in between us. This plays to my strengths. 

I was also mad with talking sexual. This has been missing. But JMULV's game improvement plan highlighted it, and I've been active incorporating it.


3 things I learned:

1) I'm good at "subtle" push pull. Like with body language to convey the push or pull. I've never been good at that thing guys do where they "give each other shit"... I have no idea what it would take to be good at that. And that has manifested as weakness when I try to PUSH girls. BUT, I noticed when I just don't approve (unreactive), or give a disapproving look, this is much more congruent. My facial movements and very good at conveying meaning. I should play to this.

2) If one style of approach doesn't work. when I try a different approach, it should be with INTENT. Often my second attempt includes referring to the 1st approach... but I need to completely cut it, as if the 1st didn't exist, and go in with a different style that is purely about getting the girl, not about trying to change her opinion of the 1st bad approach. EG BAD 2nd approach "sorry about that, haha, bit too much eh. Well my name is Matt, let's chat normal". GOOD 2nd approach: get up in grill, girl you are sexy. 

3) Calibration is GOOD. I go up with intent, and if it doesn't work, dammit, calibrate. Don't be attached to "I am enough" so hard that I think if I just keep doing the same thing she'll just realise I know I'm enough. Nah, just let go of that attachment, and use another part of my skill that could work with the girl. Choose from my array of skills. 
__________________
RSD Bootcamp Alumnus : Jeffy & Alex in Melbourne, November 2011
WATCH :-)

Watch More Videos | The Matt C Mind | Twitter | Facebook
Login or register to post.
#16

Trent3Reznor

Respected Member

Join Date: 09/19/2011 | Posts: 456

Cool FR thread.

I highly resonate with what you said in your last post about going hard as a "Technique". 

It's a bad habit, because instead of being congruent/present, you force things, which gives you a weird vibe, and kills your mood. 

I do 10x better when I simply get close, and talk calmly in the girls ear, as opposed to yelling, and aggressively grabbing girls. 

Makes me wonder whether learning the more aggressive techniques was inherently a waste of time. 
Login or register to post.
#17
matt_c

matt_c

Respected Member

Join Date: 11/20/2011 | Posts: 471

A guy wrote in a random topic some weeks or months ago something like "It doesn't matter who your are or what you've achieved or how cool you can be, if you're not bringing value to the girl IN THE MOMENT, you're worth shit to her".

You can go up to some girls, and you just present yourself. You just go stand in front of them, stare in their eyes, and say "Hi", and you hook them, instantly. 

But then you get thinking that this is some "technique", and if you execute the technique right, then it will "just work", if you do it right. This is insanity. When you just present yourself, I think it has a lot more to do with their reality than yours. Some girls will get instant anime eyes, some will look away, some will give you  weird look, some will be mildly interested. This is even when you're in state. You CANNOT execute the technique to cause the outcome. This is nonsense. You might think "shit, didn't do the technique right". Nah man. Girls filter your actions through  their perception, and ask themselves "is this of value to me?" If yes, engage. If not, blow out. Who the fuck knows what the extremely individual rules are that cause one girl to see an action as valuable, and another girl to see it as not valuable.

It's possible to game in a "technique frame", where everything you do comes from a place of technique. It's very subtle, and can go unnoticed. You monitor your voice, you USE your eye contact, and you're looking in her eyes, trying to MAKE them pop with your intense eye contact. You're trying to CAUSE arousal with your physical game. All this sort of shit.

When you're in a technique frame, you're trying to generate outcomes. Trying to generate outcomes is SHIT. Be the cause, not the effect, but don't TRY to cause. Don't try and cause outcomes. Every single action has to be done without desiring an outcome. 

Wrong: you stick out your hand to open, to cause her to grab your hand.
Right: you stick out your hand

It's so fucking subtle. But this is the depths of freedom from outcome. I have freedom from outcome practically NAILED on an MACRO level. But on a micro level, ouch. 

The solution? It's so tough. I'm not sure I understand it myself yet. 

I think that PERHAPS each action has to be done to create a source of FREE value, for those around you and for yourself. Value = positive emotions. You can't want anything in return. You can't stick your hand out and think that this DESERVES a hand shake. Your actions do not deserve anything. Do your actions for yourself. Do your actions to create positive emotions for others.

 But realise that everyone's definition of value is completely different. Lots of people think gangnam style is value, BUT SOME PEOPLE DON'T. There is no one objective definition of value.

You could say that you'll improve at game as you learn which of your actions are valuable to other people, and you're able to do those actions more often. And you'll be able to recognise which actions are not. 

Perhaps it's the DESIRE to bring value to the girl that's value. Go over, and increase her happiness, FOR HER, free of charge. Expect nothing in return. If what you did failed to be of value, DO NOT APOLOGISE or feel apologetic. You can be free from outcome because you know that you tried to bring value, but you can't be blamed for her reality not perceiving it as value.

Honestly I don't think the above is bang-on. I'm really struggling to come to terms with freedom from outcome on a micro level. Each action, full of intent, with no expectation of outcome or reward. Freedom from outcome isn't just that you desire a particular outcome, but on the whole you're indifferent. NO - it's that you don't even desire any outcome. Furthermore, desiring an outcome can only happen when you're in your head and thinking about the future. If you're not in your head, it's impossible to desire outcome. Maybe this is good - the path to freedom from outcome on that micro level is presence. If you're in your head, your mind will constantly seek to GET value / outcomes.

When you're purely in the moment, you're not seeking outcomes.

I just find that the number 1 cause of blowouts for me is when I'm trying to technique an outcome into existence. Techniqueing outcomes into existence = TAKING VALUE. Oh, you got your outcome!!! Yay for you. 

Ahh... but... to throw INTENT into the mix. That's where it gets tricky eh. 

</ramble>. In short, micro level freedom from outcome is fucking tough. My best thought / solution is presence. Do what it takes to get out of your head, and into the moment. Literally DO WHAT THIS REQUIRES. You MUST become present. You MUST get out of your head. Then you will be truly free from desire / outcome. Shit man, I'm hitting on Buddhist shit now. I thought "free yourself of desire" meant "don't desire a ferrari"... but it just hit me on such a deeper level... don't even desire a particular REALITY / (outcome).

Fuck, so many teachings are making sense now. Julien's "I never try to force it (state)". Alex's "Inception". You can't even DESIRE presence. If you desire it, which OMFG, I desire it so intensely, and it just eludes me. Let go. Let go of trying to get into state. Act purely for your own enjoyment of the moment (THIS IS A SKILL)... unleash your intent on the world and allow it to amuse you. But don't do it as a technique to get into state. I suppose you could literally become meditative, shift your focus to the present. Be aware of your body. But just for the enjoyment of it. You know that it could take you to deep presence / state, but just enjoy focusing on the present for the action itself. Don't expect to be reward with deep presence and state for your efforts. 


 
__________________
RSD Bootcamp Alumnus : Jeffy & Alex in Melbourne, November 2011
WATCH :-)

Watch More Videos | The Matt C Mind | Twitter | Facebook
Login or register to post.
#18
LethalLex

LethalLex

Trusted Member

Join Date: 11/20/2010 | Posts: 1093

I read in someones debrief notes that Tyler said expecting a girl to be initially receptive to you coming on strong is a form of laziness. This includes being physical off the bat.

It relates to what you said about walking up to a girl and just saying hi or whatever becoming a technique. You've become lazy in thinking the girl will initially be into it. Or that she'll be receptive to you grabbing her. Because it's worked so many times before. 

Never thought to though to interpret it as laziness but it makes sooo much sense when you look at it. Could potentially explain your last long winded post =P
__________________
                                                            
Login or register to post.
#19
matt_c

matt_c

Respected Member

Join Date: 11/20/2011 | Posts: 471

"It relates to what you said about walking up to a girl and just saying hi or whatever becoming a technique. You've become lazy in thinking the girl will initially be into it. Or that she'll be receptive to you grabbing her. Because it's worked so many times before. "

Fuck yeah. That shit is tight. It IS lazy. I often don't put effort into making the approach something valuable to the girl. I just do the easy "go up, say hi, hope it hooks". Hmmmmmm. Nice.

"long winded post"

Yep haha. I wrote it at like 3:30 am, stream of consciousness. Had no idea where I was gonna go. Thanks for drawing an appropriate conclusion for me.
__________________
RSD Bootcamp Alumnus : Jeffy & Alex in Melbourne, November 2011
WATCH :-)

Watch More Videos | The Matt C Mind | Twitter | Facebook
Login or register to post.
#20
matt_c

matt_c

Respected Member

Join Date: 11/20/2011 | Posts: 471

This video:



OMFG.

This video snapped me out of some insane sticking points. If you want to get an idea of my sticking points, read the stream of consciousness like 3 posts up. That's where my head was at. I just could not figure out what was valuable. I started talking to this girl, and I just decided I'd tell my entire perspective on life. She was taking out her phone writing "Steve Pavlina, Tyler Durden (Owen Cook), Green Smoothie, Power of Now". She said "omg... just listening to your voice is so amazing". 

Dudes. The value is YOU. It's not "how do I DO value". You simply ARE the value. What is you? Well I would refer to this video at 1:06



Frank Kern talks about how you have 2 identities. One that is what you currently do/think, and one that is the identity that you WANT TO BE. I've added my own spin on this:

You true identity, that you can be 100% congruent to is the what you're trying to create an experience for. Your goals are all related to the experience that you want to cause to happen in the future. And this experience is completely congruent with your TRUE identity. You're actually trying to get reality to manifest in a way that allows you to be yourself, express yourself. So I've done a few exercises where I get to understand this identity better. And when I express this... man it feels congruent. It's not a lie at all... you might think that it's your future identity, but it's not, you already have that identity inside you. All the perspectives, beliefs, values that go with it. It's just reality that is lagging your identity. 

Anyway as I expressed myself truly authentically, or as close to it as I've ever done so far, I snapped deep into state. Made out with this girl, got her number, then sat down with this smoking little German hottie. I just started expressing myself to her... it seemed like she wasn't even listening, but I just kept it going. I thought she was about to leave, so I just went for makeout... surprised that she went for it??? Uhh, she still left. She made eye contact with me again later, then went and sat on a couch all by herself, so I went over, just made out, she climbed on top of me. I fingered her... my friend told me later he could see from behind her that I was fingering her (so that's why the security guard came and told me to stop??? hehe). 

Left the club with them, I was pulling my girl. My friend was with her friend, but she was being a pain and fucking it up. Ended up not working out. Number closed and had moment of realness.
__________________
RSD Bootcamp Alumnus : Jeffy & Alex in Melbourne, November 2011
WATCH :-)

Watch More Videos | The Matt C Mind | Twitter | Facebook
Login or register to post.