THE FORUMS
Is listening a form of 'OFFERING VALUE'?
Listening and being receptive has a great power. What is bullshit on the other hand is, if you are a people-pleaser and actually not IN YOUR POWER while listening but acting like a doormat for people. If you are doing this: stop it! Otherwise, truely listening is great. As is expressing yourself also.
Value-wise: Listening CAN be something to offer your presence, your non-judgementalness, your attention, your love. But it needs to be done "in your power", otherwise it is of no value. Not to yourself and not to others. But if you enjoy it, then this alone is of value.
Value-wise: Listening CAN be something to offer your presence, your non-judgementalness, your attention, your love. But it needs to be done "in your power", otherwise it is of no value. Not to yourself and not to others. But if you enjoy it, then this alone is of value.
Hell yeah, man. I'm all about that. Listening and offering feedback is a great way to give value.
Talking can also be a good way to offer value, but if you aren't good at telling stories or you talk about uninteresting things then it can be a drag.
Edit: Tiger makes a really great point about not being a door mat. +1.
Talking can also be a good way to offer value, but if you aren't good at telling stories or you talk about uninteresting things then it can be a drag.
Edit: Tiger makes a really great point about not being a door mat. +1.
Cheers guys, backing up what I had in mind.
Awesome
JB
Awesome
JB
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Listening offers value as a "by-product" of being present. When you are present, listening is just one of the things that naturally comes with. Also, I get what you mean by people who don't listen and always seem to cut in and talk about yourself. It's a common thing among people, just make your point and let them carry on talking about themselves. Although it doesn't seem like they heard it, but their brain usually does process it but they just want to say something. They hear, but they don't consciously process it. Read "The Lost Art Of Listening" by Michael Nichols. Overall, you want to be present with the girl, it doesn't mean that they're not listening to you, it's just a common thing for people who aren't that aware of what they're doing. In a sense, they are trying to qualify themselves to you (not exactly, but yea). Talk to move the interaction forward; Listen to move the interaction forward. If both of you are trying to talk, and no one is listening then everything will come to a standstill.
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The Social Lifestyle - purple pill blog.
Yeah. What you're experiencing there though is people generally aren't interested in hearing your shit most of the time. They just want an outlet to validate their own ego and problems.
It's similar to that quote in Fight Club where the chick mentions how when people listen to you talk, it's like they're just waiting for their turn to speak.
Everyone is super caught up in their own bullshit. To meet someone who can just listen without judgement, be totally present and not try to seek any sort of validation themselves is truly something unique.
It's similar to that quote in Fight Club where the chick mentions how when people listen to you talk, it's like they're just waiting for their turn to speak.
Everyone is super caught up in their own bullshit. To meet someone who can just listen without judgement, be totally present and not try to seek any sort of validation themselves is truly something unique.
Yes yes and yes. People love talking to someone that listens and hears them out. Its like giving them psychological space to just be.
Yeah. What you're experiencing there though is people generally aren't interested in hearing your shit most of the time. They just want an outlet to validate their own ego and problems.
It's similar to that quote in Fight Club where the chick mentions how when people listen to you talk, it's like they're just waiting for their turn to speak.
Everyone is super caught up in their own bullshit. To meet someone who can just listen without judgement, be totally present and not try to seek any sort of validation themselves is truly something unique.
I actually have a friend like this and honestly I love talking to him even though he doesnt say anything. He just attentively listens without judgement. His father apparently told him when he was younger that you can get to know people better just by listening to them rather than talking. He's an amazing friend. I've realised too that when I slow it down with women and let them talk, we connect more rather than when I just keep berating them with my nonsense. It's similar to that quote in Fight Club where the chick mentions how when people listen to you talk, it's like they're just waiting for their turn to speak.
Everyone is super caught up in their own bullshit. To meet someone who can just listen without judgement, be totally present and not try to seek any sort of validation themselves is truly something unique.
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Being able to just sit there and quietly listen to his friends, is the most value offering thing a man can do.
-destroyed
-destroyed
I've always wondered where you draw the line. Because I always believed that listening to people speak can be perceived as beta and if you don't relay the conversation back and forth then you will be thought of as a boring mule. So what i'm getting from this thread it's actually much better to listen than to put your own 2c? What about the guys who dominate the conversations in front of women in groups, are they just trying to validate their own ego?
- Resmat
- Resmat
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You can't say it that easy.
Life is not one colour.
Women are not one colour.
Men are not one colour.
As a man, it's your job to make sure that everyone who's weaker than you, is doing fine in theire own lives.
As a man you're not supposed to talk all the time like a boy.
It's your job to listen and to solve problems. May it be emotional problems or critical "real" problems.
Grow beyond being a boy.
Life is not one colour.
Women are not one colour.
Men are not one colour.
As a man, it's your job to make sure that everyone who's weaker than you, is doing fine in theire own lives.
As a man you're not supposed to talk all the time like a boy.
It's your job to listen and to solve problems. May it be emotional problems or critical "real" problems.
Grow beyond being a boy.
I've always wondered where you draw the line. Because I always believed that listening to people speak can be perceived as beta and if you don't relay the conversation back and forth then you will be thought of as a boring mule. So what i'm getting from this thread it's actually much better to listen than to put your own 2c? What about the guys who dominate the conversations in front of women in groups, are they just trying to validate their own ego?
- Resmat
- Resmat
That's it.
It's like they say about vibing "what you have to say is interesting just because it comes from you" and I think what I have to say is interesting but maybe it's too intelligent for me peers or maybe they struggling with listening and are all antsy...
What then?
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anonymous12353
Member
Join Date: 04/20/2012 | Posts: 87
So what thoughts d'yall have on the taking value or offering value when it comes to talking vs listening?
JB