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Why does everyone abruptly end messaging convos with me?
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Posted June 25th, 2012 at 5:23 AM
Haidrian

Haidrian

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Join Date: 02/05/2012 | Posts: 11

I sometimes message people, typically on forum sites or youtube, on a topic common to them from what they wrote, or discussing similarities. The topics vary quite much, as well as do the people. I thought that only mean folks would do this, but I realized that good folks did it just as much. The convo would seem to flow quite well, they seem interested and write somewhat thoughtful messages back to me. Then they suddenly never write a response back, with no earlier signs of disinterest. This has happened time and time again, maybe I'm doing something wrong. Is it that I don't show enough "warmth" through my writing? I did this once, and the action yielded significantly positive results much to my surprise. Or maybe this is pretty normal on the internet? I did ask questions in the unanswered messages, it's not like they are natural convo closures. Maybe I seem to put too much thought into the messages? They aren't long or anything, but maybe they feel I'm "needy" by spending so much time on a message and assume I don't have anything good to offer.

Which do you think it is? This phenomenon has shown its ugly face to me one too many times.
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Posted June 25th, 2012 at 5:42 AM
#1
The_Mule

The_Mule

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Join Date: 09/01/2011 | Posts: 506

 It happens to me because im a douchebag. Take that for whatever its worth.
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Posted June 25th, 2012 at 5:46 AM
#2
UtopiaFive

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You're overgeneralizing.  
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Posted June 25th, 2012 at 5:48 AM
#3
The_Mule

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Nah man it's pretty specific, I'm a douchebag.
UtopiaFive wrote:
You're overgeneralizing.  
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Posted June 25th, 2012 at 5:49 AM
#4

G Bizz

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Join Date: 01/17/2010 | Posts: 510

I wouldn't look too far into this. online interactions are generally take it or leave it when you don't know the person in RL. they have less of an obligation to be "normal" or polite to you. just accept it and move on.
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Posted June 25th, 2012 at 5:51 AM
#5
dave7-

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 I think it might be a bit of "neediness", maybe people sense that you don't really have a point to your "conversations", it's like you're seeking an outcome of a "good conversation" and it might come off as not genuine or authentic. But I'm probably a douchebag haha. 
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Posted June 25th, 2012 at 7:36 AM
#6
Haidrian

Haidrian

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Join Date: 02/05/2012 | Posts: 11

G Bizz wrote:
I wouldn't look too far into this. online interactions are generally take it or leave it when you don't know the person in RL. they have less of an obligation to be "normal" or polite to you. just accept it and move on.
This sounds about right to me. People might value relationships more when they socially interact, and since anonymous internet talk doesn't create a "relationship", they might not be as interested. In addition to that, maybe others care less than me about the actual exchange of information because I'm a really curious guy.
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Posted June 25th, 2012 at 7:46 AM
#7
Haidrian

Haidrian

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dave7- wrote:
 I think it might be a bit of "neediness", maybe people sense that you don't really have a point to your "conversations", it's like you're seeking an outcome of a "good conversation" and it might come off as not genuine or authentic. But I'm probably a douchebag haha. 
I was actually interested in what they had to say so it doesn't seem probable that so many people made this error. But I barely ever give compliments, if what you say is right then compliments should help them feel interested upon.
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Posted June 25th, 2012 at 8:31 AM
#8
Phayn

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I think people have less motivation to "stick with" a conversation online, there's no social pressure. If they don't see the value in it or the value in you that is greater than whatever else they want to do with their time, they're gonna drop it. That's just how it is. Have had alot of experiences like this 
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Posted June 25th, 2012 at 11:55 AM
#9
Foxx

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Join Date: 06/11/2012 | Posts: 287

 Online convos don't last forever like the effectiveness of pickup techniques in the field.
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