I have been depressed the last few months, after the Hot Seat 2, I don't know excactly why but my ego has been hurt. I was a person who really was afraid of everything. Always just thinking about not to loose and being really nice guy, very reaction seeking and beating myself over my mistakes. But I really did not see it, and my ego was doing everything to hold my self image that I was a nice and smart guy and thinking a lot of negative thoughts about other people so I could feel better. I think my depression started with that I started to think that I was a bad person and my head just went crazy.
Last night I took some ecstasy and I really just realized that I was a big looser, and everything just made sense. Like all the memory's from my childhood, and this made me really happy. I just realized that I had been this big looser, so it was almost like it couldn't get worse. My self image had been like this "avarage" guy, and that I some day would shine. The realization really came when a buddy of mine said that I and this other guy on the pre party resembled, and he was really this nice guy trying to get everyone to like him. I just realized it and I was so happy, it was like my ego vanished.
The pre party just became awesome and it was like of the just epic nights, everything was like it should bee. I felt that I really did not have anything to prove when I went out, and I was in this good mood. When I came into the venue there were a few people I knew and then this guy bought me and my friends tequila shots. I started to approach people and I think I approached almost every girl in the whole venue, and I was really just so centered. I opened girls that had boyfriends, and I was really surprised how nice they were to me, they even said that I was a cool guy. There was this one girl with a boyfriend I opened by sitting next to her and touching her hair, and her boyfriend was right beside us and he was like *what the fuck are you doing, she has a boyfriend*. I did not give a shit, and then he got his girlfriend to swithc seates with him so he was sitting with me. It was just hilarious.
There were also a girl who were dancing (only one) and I went right to her and she started to grinding on me. There was this girl who asked if I was bored, and then she suggested going home. This one girl said she had lost her phone and asked me if she could borrow me phone to ring it. I yelled out the hottest girl in the club when we were outside, she was like 27-30, and I am only 20. And there were a few who said I should leave. This one girl who said it to me was with this friend, so I just started to talking with the friend and she really was interested, this one girl then got a staff to say I should leave. But I really did not care, it was so amazing. I was just so chill and I really got tons of shit tests that I passed so fucking easily.
I really have the same awesome feeling today, and I can NEVER go back. Life is good.
potato_pie
Junior Member
Join Date: 02/08/2012 | Posts: 3
Last night I took some ecstasy and I really just realized that I was a big looser, and everything just made sense. Like all the memory's from my childhood, and this made me really happy. I just realized that I had been this big looser, so it was almost like it couldn't get worse. My self image had been like this "avarage" guy, and that I some day would shine. The realization really came when a buddy of mine said that I and this other guy on the pre party resembled, and he was really this nice guy trying to get everyone to like him. I just realized it and I was so happy, it was like my ego vanished.
The pre party just became awesome and it was like of the just epic nights, everything was like it should bee. I felt that I really did not have anything to prove when I went out, and I was in this good mood. When I came into the venue there were a few people I knew and then this guy bought me and my friends tequila shots. I started to approach people and I think I approached almost every girl in the whole venue, and I was really just so centered. I opened girls that had boyfriends, and I was really surprised how nice they were to me, they even said that I was a cool guy. There was this one girl with a boyfriend I opened by sitting next to her and touching her hair, and her boyfriend was right beside us and he was like *what the fuck are you doing, she has a boyfriend*. I did not give a shit, and then he got his girlfriend to swithc seates with him so he was sitting with me. It was just hilarious.
There were also a girl who were dancing (only one) and I went right to her and she started to grinding on me. There was this girl who asked if I was bored, and then she suggested going home. This one girl said she had lost her phone and asked me if she could borrow me phone to ring it. I yelled out the hottest girl in the club when we were outside, she was like 27-30, and I am only 20. And there were a few who said I should leave. This one girl who said it to me was with this friend, so I just started to talking with the friend and she really was interested, this one girl then got a staff to say I should leave. But I really did not care, it was so amazing. I was just so chill and I really got tons of shit tests that I passed so fucking easily.
I really have the same awesome feeling today, and I can NEVER go back. Life is good.