THE FORUMS
Yeah, old people are sweet. It always cheers me up when I see a really old dude still on the path, growing, killing it.
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Both my grandparents on my mom's sided have passed, my grandma just past a few months ago. My grandma on my dad's side was living with us but she went back home (doesn't live in the US). Both my grandpas died before I was born.
sucks man
but you know, if you're eager to tap into this "resource", there's plenty of high intelligent, wise people who will give you any amount of time you want if you just give them attention
don't have to be your family
usually their own family doesn't even call them that often
but you know, if you're eager to tap into this "resource", there's plenty of high intelligent, wise people who will give you any amount of time you want if you just give them attention
don't have to be your family
usually their own family doesn't even call them that often
Both my grandparents on my mom's sided have passed, my grandma just past a few months ago. My grandma on my dad's side was living with us but she went back home (doesn't live in the US). Both my grandpas died before I was born.
I like your post man, right on!
My grandparents don't live anymore, but I knew all four of them. Usually it's like this: Once people are old enough to be interrested in their ancestors and what they have to say, those ancestors are dead. That's just how life goes.
Glad you had a good talk to her, do it more often! Where does she live?
My grandparents don't live anymore, but I knew all four of them. Usually it's like this: Once people are old enough to be interrested in their ancestors and what they have to say, those ancestors are dead. That's just how life goes.
Glad you had a good talk to her, do it more often! Where does she live?
__________________
"Failure is caused by unwillingness to adapt!"
"If it's not rough, it is not fun!" - Lady Gaga, Philosopher
Doctor's Diary - my Field Reports live from Vienna: http://www.rsdnation.com/node/200128/forum
"If it's not rough, it is not fun!" - Lady Gaga, Philosopher
Doctor's Diary - my Field Reports live from Vienna: http://www.rsdnation.com/node/200128/forum
she lives in Ukraine,
At the age of 82, all alone, some people check up on her a little bit.. She survives on what people spend on coffee (on average) every month for all her needs.
Sharper than most 40+yo guys I've met... I don't want to go overboard here but imagine how life is kind of hard for us young people.. I'm talking everyone under 50 or so.. It's kind of tough right? Life wants to put you down.. The boss is a bit angry at you? Oh you poor thing... Girl said no to you? Ohhhh.... Someone was angry at you on the road? You opened the fridge door and hurt your big toe...?
Imagine going through 80+ years of that, losing douzens of friends to OLD AGE and dementia, losing a few organs, a husband, broken limbs, hard to walk, things just deteriorate every day and generally hurt, surviving, doing WELL.. And still being as sharp as most 30 year olds.. What kind of qualities do you need to possess?
Here's a few I got from just this one 20 minute conversation:
1. IMMENSE GRATITUDE FOR ABSOLUTELY EVERY LITTLE THING, PERIOD. A green apple? FUCK YEAH! Mayonaise? Are you kidding me? Most awesome thing ever. Most of your friends died a long time ago? Thanks a lot guys, see you soon (but not too soon), it's been great!
2. Absolutely no expectation that anyone owes you anything, ever
3. 100% full responsibility for all things in your life, always
4. Take care of yourself, don't expect others to do this for you, otherwise you become lazy & start expecting things from people.. No one owes you SHIT ALL even if you think it's "unfair"
5. Retirement? Retired from work at the age of 70+... But still contributing anywhere possible. (she stood in front of a class of annoying little teenage bastards and taught them a hard subject at school for 50 years or so... Takes shit from no one. Crisp voice, even if it's a bit overused. Sounds a bit like if she wanted to, she could get me to go cry in the corner lol. In fact, her voice is so well practiced, she woke me the fuck up even without talking very loudly. Instant state anyone?)
This is the effect of contributing to tens of thousands of lives over the course of 50+ years DAILY without expecting or getting more than minor "rewards" (i mean payment, validation etc here.. most students fucking hate you even if you teach well)
6. Little daily menial tasks make it happen (actually this is what tyler said too), she'll go to the market every tuesday or whtever and buy those little things she's used to and make that food herself and not bother people about it
7. Neighbors = you're living right next to them for years, you see them more often than your family, how the fuck are you gonna justify not getting along with them?
Or with anyone else for that matter... How the fuck.
8. I told her I work 16 hours a day... Most people would say.. oh no, it's too much, work is not life blah blah blahh... Guess what she said? something to the effect of: That's a lot but you must be doing something great. (she said it better though, sorry, different language :p)
9. And number 9 is probably the most important one, the one that stood out the most: I've Never talked to anyone who's so TOTALLY grounded in reality. No fantasy bullshit... Pure 100% unrelenting reality and acceptance of it.
10. Complete different perception of time, to the degree that 1 month or 2 months aren't significant. It's not something to put thought into. I don't know how to explain this better... But what seems like a long time for me is like tomorrow for her and IT DOESNT EVEN MATTER. Completely grounded in not even today but NOW.
11. When I said something sarcastic she reframed it as positive awesome thing. Over and over until I stopped being annoying/sarcastic.
Funny note: she asked me if i had a girlfriend.. I said.. ehh.. noo.... not going to be doing the girlfriend thing for a while.. Her response: yeah, girls are weird now, even more than when I was young, many influences fucking them up more now.
You know how, some people.. you talk to them.. and you just know they're PRESENT? I think to be sharp of mind at that age, you need to be pretty god damn present, right? That's how it seems to me.
Remember, old people remember exact conversations from 10 years ago like it was yesterday. Imagin having access to all that and living in the now.. It's possible!
Want to be an inspiration to people 60 years from now? Make the right decisions NOW!!
At the age of 82, all alone, some people check up on her a little bit.. She survives on what people spend on coffee (on average) every month for all her needs.
Sharper than most 40+yo guys I've met... I don't want to go overboard here but imagine how life is kind of hard for us young people.. I'm talking everyone under 50 or so.. It's kind of tough right? Life wants to put you down.. The boss is a bit angry at you? Oh you poor thing... Girl said no to you? Ohhhh.... Someone was angry at you on the road? You opened the fridge door and hurt your big toe...?
Imagine going through 80+ years of that, losing douzens of friends to OLD AGE and dementia, losing a few organs, a husband, broken limbs, hard to walk, things just deteriorate every day and generally hurt, surviving, doing WELL.. And still being as sharp as most 30 year olds.. What kind of qualities do you need to possess?
Here's a few I got from just this one 20 minute conversation:
1. IMMENSE GRATITUDE FOR ABSOLUTELY EVERY LITTLE THING, PERIOD. A green apple? FUCK YEAH! Mayonaise? Are you kidding me? Most awesome thing ever. Most of your friends died a long time ago? Thanks a lot guys, see you soon (but not too soon), it's been great!
2. Absolutely no expectation that anyone owes you anything, ever
3. 100% full responsibility for all things in your life, always
4. Take care of yourself, don't expect others to do this for you, otherwise you become lazy & start expecting things from people.. No one owes you SHIT ALL even if you think it's "unfair"
5. Retirement? Retired from work at the age of 70+... But still contributing anywhere possible. (she stood in front of a class of annoying little teenage bastards and taught them a hard subject at school for 50 years or so... Takes shit from no one. Crisp voice, even if it's a bit overused. Sounds a bit like if she wanted to, she could get me to go cry in the corner lol. In fact, her voice is so well practiced, she woke me the fuck up even without talking very loudly. Instant state anyone?)
This is the effect of contributing to tens of thousands of lives over the course of 50+ years DAILY without expecting or getting more than minor "rewards" (i mean payment, validation etc here.. most students fucking hate you even if you teach well)
6. Little daily menial tasks make it happen (actually this is what tyler said too), she'll go to the market every tuesday or whtever and buy those little things she's used to and make that food herself and not bother people about it
7. Neighbors = you're living right next to them for years, you see them more often than your family, how the fuck are you gonna justify not getting along with them?
Or with anyone else for that matter... How the fuck.
8. I told her I work 16 hours a day... Most people would say.. oh no, it's too much, work is not life blah blah blahh... Guess what she said? something to the effect of: That's a lot but you must be doing something great. (she said it better though, sorry, different language :p)
9. And number 9 is probably the most important one, the one that stood out the most: I've Never talked to anyone who's so TOTALLY grounded in reality. No fantasy bullshit... Pure 100% unrelenting reality and acceptance of it.
10. Complete different perception of time, to the degree that 1 month or 2 months aren't significant. It's not something to put thought into. I don't know how to explain this better... But what seems like a long time for me is like tomorrow for her and IT DOESNT EVEN MATTER. Completely grounded in not even today but NOW.
11. When I said something sarcastic she reframed it as positive awesome thing. Over and over until I stopped being annoying/sarcastic.
Funny note: she asked me if i had a girlfriend.. I said.. ehh.. noo.... not going to be doing the girlfriend thing for a while.. Her response: yeah, girls are weird now, even more than when I was young, many influences fucking them up more now.
You know how, some people.. you talk to them.. and you just know they're PRESENT? I think to be sharp of mind at that age, you need to be pretty god damn present, right? That's how it seems to me.
Remember, old people remember exact conversations from 10 years ago like it was yesterday. Imagin having access to all that and living in the now.. It's possible!
Want to be an inspiration to people 60 years from now? Make the right decisions NOW!!
My grandma learned me to just listen. Man, i just realise she learned me to be present haha
I was always busy telling her all kinds of stuff because I couldn't deal with the silence, and she would just nod and ask me if I wanted something for breakfast/lunch/dinner.
I was always busy telling her all kinds of stuff because I couldn't deal with the silence, and she would just nod and ask me if I wanted something for breakfast/lunch/dinner.
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Granted, not all old people are like that. Most old people asylums are filled by people who, like most people, just wasted their lifes and see time is running out. My best friend worked at one for some time (front desk), I visited him from time to time. One of the best wake up calls you could EVER get, I recommend it!
But your grandma sounds awesome! She was probably on the stands yesterday cheering for the Ukrainian soccer team, ha ha...!
My dad always said ironically: "Dying young and becoming old - it's both awefull!" But it's gonna be one of those, guys!
But your grandma sounds awesome! She was probably on the stands yesterday cheering for the Ukrainian soccer team, ha ha...!
My dad always said ironically: "Dying young and becoming old - it's both awefull!" But it's gonna be one of those, guys!
__________________
"Failure is caused by unwillingness to adapt!"
"If it's not rough, it is not fun!" - Lady Gaga, Philosopher
Doctor's Diary - my Field Reports live from Vienna: http://www.rsdnation.com/node/200128/forum
"If it's not rough, it is not fun!" - Lady Gaga, Philosopher
Doctor's Diary - my Field Reports live from Vienna: http://www.rsdnation.com/node/200128/forum
Nice post very true, I use it regularily I am lucky enough to say my grandparents are all heroes of mine in their own ways. living and fighting in wars, going through the holocaust, building businesses, emmigrating etc. There is nothing they havnt seen.
Oddly I seem to be the only one who utilizes their knowledge in my family, some people just dont realise value when its right in front of them :)
Oddly I seem to be the only one who utilizes their knowledge in my family, some people just dont realise value when its right in front of them :)
__________________
"Woman begins by resisting a man's advances and ends by blocking his retreat." - Oscar Wilde
lmao- being in your 20's... going to see your parents isn't just a trip to see the family... it's a fucking PILGRAMAGE man.
__________________
90 Days Challenge (Currently in the Final Third): "It's Just Something You Have To Do If You Want To Be Great"
http://www.rsdnation.com/node/233192/forum
The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars
A man may fall down many times, but he won't be a f ailure until he says someone pushed him"
Buddha
http://www.rsdnation.com/node/233192/forum
The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars
A man may fall down many times, but he won't be a f ailure until he says someone pushed him"
Buddha
I'd have to disagree about the parents thing.. From my experience at least:
They're both retired & doing nothing
shitting themselves over turning 60.
And actually saying not very positive things about granny.
Parents, in my experience, are more into LIVING THROUGH the children. Yuck.
I prefer talking to granny who's learned to accept and never gave up :p
Hope it's different in your family :)
They're both retired & doing nothing
shitting themselves over turning 60.
And actually saying not very positive things about granny.
Parents, in my experience, are more into LIVING THROUGH the children. Yuck.
I prefer talking to granny who's learned to accept and never gave up :p
Hope it's different in your family :)
AlexV
Trusted Member
Join Date: 11/12/2011 | Posts: 1222
My grandma (only living one), I called her for the first time in years (lives FAR away). (She lived in communist Russia most of her life, where TOILET PAPER was a valued commodity... And economic crisis was the NORM.)
Do you guys do the same?
Seriously, 1 minute into the phone call I realized ... Holy shit, she's seen all this shit I think is "so hard" right now, she's done it all for 82 years!! EIGHTY TWO FUCKING YEARS.
Basically I had some bullshit limiting belief and this wise old woman, my grandmother, SHARP AS A NEEDLE... She listened to me quietly then fixed the "problem" in my mind AND made me think I fixed it myself...
Stop a moment and think about this... We're paying top dollar for self help and getting good help from RSD, Eben Pagan (business), etc.
While 1 phone call away, we also have limitless personal coaching from someone who you KNOW wants you to succeed and will spend <ANY AMOUNT OF TIME AND EFFORT> to help you.
Someone who has stood the test of time, like... Advice that's guaranteed to work cause there it is, right in front of you, no alterior motives, just any help they can provide, they do provide.
I just realized this at the age of 26... Fuck, gonna make more use of this.
They're worth their weight in GOLD. With all the info you're bombarded with now from all angles, mostly motivated by how to extract money from you, how valuable is time tested advice from someone who truly wants you to succeed.......?
Then I still didn't even mention that 1 phone call a month, even if you bitch and moan about your problems, makes them feel like they're the most important person in the world and makes them motivated & healthy...?
Now, I'm not suggesting we start calling granny & asking for pickup advice but let me tell you, when it gets down to it, asking for pickup advice is like asking for any other advice... It's all highly related... So, for example, if you're having some issue with life decisions and you feel someone has wronged you, try talkin to someone who's been through it 10-30 times and see how easy the solution is.
Hope you still have your grandparents and they're sound of mind. If you do, CALL THEM NOW and be amazed,
my mind is blown.
I was angry, frustrated and tired from working crazy hours and my game deteriorated cause I was being really negative with people yesterday. So felt less than perfect today. You know how retarded this behavior seems to me after talking to her? How fucking insignificant some bad feeling is, some frustration over NOTHING? It matters shit all. It's less than a joke, it's not even real and it's self defeating.
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They should ban old folks homes and get these wise people to help us young idiots. Imagine the benefit for all. Most old people feel "old" because they're just sitting there, while all that knowledge and experience is right there for everyone to take advantage of.
Anyone of the same opinion & experience??
Update: exactly what I learned from the covnersation:
http://www.rsdnation.com/node/228400?#comment-890094