THE FORUMS
Not enjoying the process/results not fast enough in a lot of areas in self development, need guidance
If the work isn't worth the result to you, I'd say don't do it.
But consciously decide not to do it and be cool with it. Not a whinger who is one foot in and one foot out.
I know lots of people who aren't into self development who lead happy lives. It's mostly just for people who dislike the mediocre norm and want something more sufficiently to go after it.
If that's not you then all good. It sounds like you've already accomplished a lot with the existing success that you've gained. No need to keep hammering at it unless you sincerely want to.
Tyler
But consciously decide not to do it and be cool with it. Not a whinger who is one foot in and one foot out.
I know lots of people who aren't into self development who lead happy lives. It's mostly just for people who dislike the mediocre norm and want something more sufficiently to go after it.
If that's not you then all good. It sounds like you've already accomplished a lot with the existing success that you've gained. No need to keep hammering at it unless you sincerely want to.
Tyler
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Thanks for the reply Tyler.
I don't think I could ever stop honestly.
I feel in a lot of ways just to get where I am now I've worked through so much hard shit, and it's like I've climbed a small mountain just to see Everest in front of me. Now I feel like I can't make the climb, but there is no way in hell I can just lay down where I am and be content. I know it can be done, I know I can do it, I've come too far to stop now.
I was lucky in some things that I got results quicly and regularly and that kept me going, but my reward/motivation mechanisms just can't seem to get it together with a lot of these long term, slow result goals. You're story was truly inspiring to me and I think of it and others when I think about who I want to be. I feel like part of me is wired to take the easy route and it's a constant internal battle though. It's like you can never just stop embracing the pain and struggle if you want to keep growing, and it's both what you want to do more than anything and what you least want to do at the same time.
I don't think I could ever stop honestly.
I feel in a lot of ways just to get where I am now I've worked through so much hard shit, and it's like I've climbed a small mountain just to see Everest in front of me. Now I feel like I can't make the climb, but there is no way in hell I can just lay down where I am and be content. I know it can be done, I know I can do it, I've come too far to stop now.
I was lucky in some things that I got results quicly and regularly and that kept me going, but my reward/motivation mechanisms just can't seem to get it together with a lot of these long term, slow result goals. You're story was truly inspiring to me and I think of it and others when I think about who I want to be. I feel like part of me is wired to take the easy route and it's a constant internal battle though. It's like you can never just stop embracing the pain and struggle if you want to keep growing, and it's both what you want to do more than anything and what you least want to do at the same time.
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Thanks man! What you're saying makes sense.
Tyler
Tyler
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It sounds like you are kind of in a dark place at the moment.
There is one great quote about that, that comes to mind: If you are going through hell, keep going.
Don't stand still, keep moving forward
If you are not enjoying your life then maybe switch it around.
Don't think about the stuff that would make your life better, maybe look around what makes you unhappy and drop it out of your life.
Make room for new things.
Seems to me you have 1 factor that makes you happy in life: Women.
Well, great starting point.
Stop meditating, start being in the moment more often.
Stop forcing. Stop with telling the world how it SHOULD be and learn to go with the flow more often.
" I'm almost considering just saying fuck it all and traveling around asian countries for awhile after I finish up my last bit of grad school and teaching English as a second language while paying off my laons little by little and banging asian babes. Maybe try to start my own business on the side "
You kind of answered you own question here. You are young right? Grad school?
What's wrong with traveling around asian countries? Whats wrong with teaching english?
Why don't you start your own business?
You can always start from Zero. Dropping the things in life you do not enjoy but maybe once enjoyed and trying new things. Like traveling.
There is one great quote about that, that comes to mind: If you are going through hell, keep going.
Don't stand still, keep moving forward
If you are not enjoying your life then maybe switch it around.
Don't think about the stuff that would make your life better, maybe look around what makes you unhappy and drop it out of your life.
Make room for new things.
Seems to me you have 1 factor that makes you happy in life: Women.
Well, great starting point.
Stop meditating, start being in the moment more often.
Stop forcing. Stop with telling the world how it SHOULD be and learn to go with the flow more often.
" I'm almost considering just saying fuck it all and traveling around asian countries for awhile after I finish up my last bit of grad school and teaching English as a second language while paying off my laons little by little and banging asian babes. Maybe try to start my own business on the side "
You kind of answered you own question here. You are young right? Grad school?
What's wrong with traveling around asian countries? Whats wrong with teaching english?
Why don't you start your own business?
You can always start from Zero. Dropping the things in life you do not enjoy but maybe once enjoyed and trying new things. Like traveling.
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Thanks man. I think I needed a little mix of a slap on the face from Tyler mixed with some positivity to get my head straight.
I have two things I feel pretty good about in life atm, women and grad school. Both are challenging, enjoyable, and I'm fairly successful at them so they keep me going.
It's summer so it's just me working a crappy job and trying to implement these habits/cut out bad ones I have, since most of the girls and my friends are gone (college town) until Fall and it's all I have to focus on. I still game a little but it's small crowds of regulars at the bar scene here atm until the college girls come back. Been spending too much time getting nuerotic and letting old perfectionist thought streams go on in my head. Maybe I just needed to hear it from someone else.
It's not so much that I NEVER enjoy a lot of this stuff. I enjoy looking good, I enjoy feeling better from eating good, I enjoy being calm/centered. It's frustrating watching yourself fall into the same slump and then pulling yourself back out every few months for years with a lot of these things. Probably especially hard now as a lot of my feel good activities aren't in place to balance it out.
Maybe I should scale some of this stuff back a bit and give myself some breathing room. I'm gonna look into buying those premade mini chickens instead of cooking my own meat and finding more healthy convenience food instead of forcing myself to make everything fresh. Scale back meditating expectations to like 15 min a day, scale back my workouts, and try and get more fun going on somehow.
I have two things I feel pretty good about in life atm, women and grad school. Both are challenging, enjoyable, and I'm fairly successful at them so they keep me going.
It's summer so it's just me working a crappy job and trying to implement these habits/cut out bad ones I have, since most of the girls and my friends are gone (college town) until Fall and it's all I have to focus on. I still game a little but it's small crowds of regulars at the bar scene here atm until the college girls come back. Been spending too much time getting nuerotic and letting old perfectionist thought streams go on in my head. Maybe I just needed to hear it from someone else.
It's not so much that I NEVER enjoy a lot of this stuff. I enjoy looking good, I enjoy feeling better from eating good, I enjoy being calm/centered. It's frustrating watching yourself fall into the same slump and then pulling yourself back out every few months for years with a lot of these things. Probably especially hard now as a lot of my feel good activities aren't in place to balance it out.
Maybe I should scale some of this stuff back a bit and give myself some breathing room. I'm gonna look into buying those premade mini chickens instead of cooking my own meat and finding more healthy convenience food instead of forcing myself to make everything fresh. Scale back meditating expectations to like 15 min a day, scale back my workouts, and try and get more fun going on somehow.
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Don't let your environment or its people dictate your life. This is not about girls or diet. Its about mental freedom.
If I chose to break the chains and do it being homless, broke, everyone around me thinking I am a Zero, played with by "freinds" and "family", having physical illness, then you can do it to my man... At the end of the day, life gets done, and so does everyone around you.
I would say diet is not really the factor here. Forget about it completely and work on the idea, not the steps to mental freedom. If you have faith in your idea, you will naturally take the steps to get there as best as you can.
I was never an advocate of working for someone or taking the generic steps in life because of the better success rate. I am an advocate of being your own man and impletting an idea that can make a light bulb switch.
But with doing that you will be shit for a while and fail fail fail, until you find the window of opportunity aligned to your knowledge and experience, you will have to take some clever measures to get there because there is "dirty competition" (the people with no character and honor, who are in it to win easy). These people have alot of backing, because the easy route is very lucrative to the average chode since its the only chance for him to be his dream front. There is also the fair competition you have to deal with.
This may sound way off topic but, to get to mental freedom you have make your idea a reality and that is the fight.
Not many people will like you because you will be able to see their character since you have defined yours, you still mesh quitely, but always keep a distance, its just filters the real from the trash and you will find yourself with 1 or 2 people who understand you and know the place you are coming from.
Look you may think, Real people/fake people what is this guy talking about...
This! When shit hits the fan and you are in a life or death situation and take a stand, is that person going to dive in because he trusts you and beleives in you visa/versa or is the person going to run and turn it on you because he is looking out for his own.
So to sum it up,
Focus on the final goal. and do everything to get there, if you really want to live the life you want. Define your goal.
What is it going to take to get your comfort( basically your mental freedom).
If I chose to break the chains and do it being homless, broke, everyone around me thinking I am a Zero, played with by "freinds" and "family", having physical illness, then you can do it to my man... At the end of the day, life gets done, and so does everyone around you.
I would say diet is not really the factor here. Forget about it completely and work on the idea, not the steps to mental freedom. If you have faith in your idea, you will naturally take the steps to get there as best as you can.
I was never an advocate of working for someone or taking the generic steps in life because of the better success rate. I am an advocate of being your own man and impletting an idea that can make a light bulb switch.
But with doing that you will be shit for a while and fail fail fail, until you find the window of opportunity aligned to your knowledge and experience, you will have to take some clever measures to get there because there is "dirty competition" (the people with no character and honor, who are in it to win easy). These people have alot of backing, because the easy route is very lucrative to the average chode since its the only chance for him to be his dream front. There is also the fair competition you have to deal with.
This may sound way off topic but, to get to mental freedom you have make your idea a reality and that is the fight.
Not many people will like you because you will be able to see their character since you have defined yours, you still mesh quitely, but always keep a distance, its just filters the real from the trash and you will find yourself with 1 or 2 people who understand you and know the place you are coming from.
Look you may think, Real people/fake people what is this guy talking about...
This! When shit hits the fan and you are in a life or death situation and take a stand, is that person going to dive in because he trusts you and beleives in you visa/versa or is the person going to run and turn it on you because he is looking out for his own.
So to sum it up,
Focus on the final goal. and do everything to get there, if you really want to live the life you want. Define your goal.
What is it going to take to get your comfort( basically your mental freedom).
__________________
I can relate to that. You don't need to be a superhuman!
You don't need to game like an instructor, run a business like Bill Gates, have the perfect body, only get straight A grades, be a meditation guru. This is impossible! Try balance and then work on the aspect that is meaningful to you like your career or whatever.
Sounds good? Takes a little weight of your shoulders.
Also try LESS, but be consistent every day. Start preparing a meal once a week, learn about networking for 1 hour a week.
You don't need to game like an instructor, run a business like Bill Gates, have the perfect body, only get straight A grades, be a meditation guru. This is impossible! Try balance and then work on the aspect that is meaningful to you like your career or whatever.
Sounds good? Takes a little weight of your shoulders.
Also try LESS, but be consistent every day. Start preparing a meal once a week, learn about networking for 1 hour a week.
__________________
That might just be the most stupid thing anyone has ever said, ever.
Stop meditating, start being in the moment more often.
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Authenticity / Congruency is attraction.
Value does not exist. There is no such thing as high or low status behavior.
Value does not exist. There is no such thing as high or low status behavior.
That might just be the most stupid thing anyone has ever said, ever.
Stop meditating, start being in the moment more often.
if you try to label things you are not meditating.
like having spiritual thoughts can never be spiritual. its thought process
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Revolt
Senior Member
Join Date: 01/05/2011 | Posts: 218
Women is actually the only thing I'm doing okay with because I enjoy flirting and have been working on pickup thing for like 6 years. I basically went from zero to hero (at least by my standards) in this area of life. Was on road to permanent virgindom but pickup and a few good reference experiences at the start got the ball rolling and now I'm happy with my sex/dating life.
My diet is crap and I've been working on it for 2 years with no progress. It used to be amazingly horrible, so it's better, but still bad. What it boils down to is I hate making/preparing food. I hate it, so when I make diet plans that revolve around me cooking meat, making salads, etc. I fail and go to McDonalds instead. I manage a good veggie smoothie in the morning most days and have elimated the worst shit foods like cookies and chips and crap, but I just hate making meals. Can't find cheap/good diet plan that doesn't involve some sort of food preparation beyond just a microwave, and I can't stick to anything that isn't because when I'm hungry the last thing I want is to do something I hate for 10-20 minutes to make food. Results of strict diet aren't immediately noticible enough to motivate me.
Exercise, I've been on and off exercising for 8 years. Literally 1-2 month spurts followed by 1-2 months telling myself I need to start up again, FOR 8 YEARS STRAIGHT in this pattern. I've had changes and stuff even doing it this way but it's so slow. It feels okay endorphin wise, but not good enough to justify it, and when the one-two month marker rolls around and I don't see a change in the mirror, I lose motivation. My non-strict diet doesn't help with this.
Mediation: Did great at the start. First year was fucking wicked with this stuff. Worked out a bunch of my mental shit, learned how to relax, improved my concentration, felt great, ect. Probably put in at least 600 hours meditating at this point. Then I got used to the good feeling and breakthroughs, and now when I do it I just feel like no progress is being made anymore. I no longer have those "aha" moments about how my mind is working, no more big relaxation/letting go breakthroughs come. Every sit is just the same, and I find I just get bored. Can't make daily sits stick anymore when I used to be super great in this regard.
Career: I enjoy the actual work for my field. But, basically I hate the whole interviewing process and networking needed to move forward in my career, but DESPERATELY want to and feel horrible where I'm at, really digging at me inside. Not being able to get an interview or my foot in the door except when I know someone and can ask for help, which I LOATHE. I want shit based on my own capabilities, not because I begged some duesche I hated from my frat in undergrad to ask his friends to talk to someone in HR in their company for me so I even get a callback. I just hate the whole process. Always been a terrible networker, hated asking others for help, and thats like the whole game here lol. I've been sucking it up and trying but man is it rough and when it feels like I'm making no progress at getting into any of the companies I want to work for I just want to punch a hole in the wall. I'm almost considering just saying fuck it all and traveling around asian countries for awhile after I finish up my last bit of grad school and teaching English as a second language while paying off my laons little by little and banging asian babes. Maybe try to start my own business on the side. Part of me thinks thats a pipe dream though, if I can't get this other shit handled I can't start my own company.