THE FORUMS
SATURDAY 14/07/12
Afternoon RSD Nation, whats the go?
Had a pretty fun night last night, no glory or anything but pushed through some real personal blocks and made my night FUN which was friggin awesome!
So tonight we were a bit thin on the ranks here in Melbourne, only me and Ash out, it's 1130pm, stuck in traffic, and it's poaring rain outside and cold...irelevant, lets make it happen anyway! Rain stops, get to the club, it's VIP night tonight and door girl does not let us in.... good thing we've been going there for years and the owner know my face and always looks after us :)
We get in and the whole place is totally different, it's normally dark like a normal club, tonight all these lights were on and it was almost like daylight inside, he music was also a lot softer - wow, this is friggin awesome! Even more awesome casue we could see the girls properly...and they were all hot :)
Ash hasnt been out in a month, ive been out once in the last 2 weeks... we're both in a lil "dur" mode right now, both rockin sober to save money and brain cells, but we chill in a high traffic area, have a chat, and holler up any hotties that walk by us, awesome!
2 more of the extended crew magically appear after getting knocked back at another club, the awesome foursome is born!
After last night i've been full on focused on self amusement and drawing my state from within, not relying on girls to make my night fun or to validate me, and i think i did pretty good at this.
I had quite a few sets - going in, pulling to girl in, spinning her around, talking jibberish to her, going for the makeout....repeatedly, haha. I had a lot of sets hook for a short while, perhaps a few minutes, nothing too solid. One interesting thing was that i lost count of how many girl said they had boyfriends! Some i think were legit and there was one i was sure was BS but anyhow...it was a VIP night for a new owner that had bought into the club, so i could imagine there would be a lot more couples and friends rather than chicks out to get laid as it woulda been hard for a lot of people to get in. Regardless they were all of the friendly type, like we'd chat for a few minutes, id go to escalate more or ask for a number and then they'd mention the boyfriend, so not too worried there.
I had a few moments that shined brighter than the rest, pushing through my comfort zones - twice i jumped into sets and comandeered girls that either had guys hitting on them or the guys knew them. First one were two girls chatting to some guy, he was man handling one a bit more than the other but showing them both attention, i just shoulder tapped the other one and started waffling to her, no problems, no confrontation, goood! The second was seeing this cute girl (cute from a distance i found out, haha) on the dance floor with two dudes and another girl, so a group of 4 dancing together. Guys werent touching the girls or anything and just choding about, so ive gone in shoulder tapped the girl, shes spun around and im right up in her face saying how shes gorgeous, etc, etc. Chodes vaporised for a few minutes, danced with the girl a bit, full on physical - no confusing what i was doing, and out of nowhere shes just changed mood, said shes got a boyfriend whos in the club ...blah blah blah, tried to push through it, wouldnt go. Shortly after saw her pashing the vaporising chode. My guess is since her and her friend were from sydney and they both wanted to bang, they needed 2 guys and since i was running solo at the time the chodes were the better option...Note to self, always have a wingman handy.
A big massive thing of the night was that i was consciously viewing myself as a cool value offering guy, and feeling that 100% trust that comes with this. I did this CONSCIOUSLY, as i see it as habbit that i need to build on, and it felt good, real good. Will be making sure to do this every day now, whether im at work or at home or at a club or on a date, i've been in this long enough and am old enough, time to get some of these fundamentals sorted for good.
Yeh so looking back the lessons from last night i figured are stronger eye contact and just more self trust, more laid back kinda vibe. A lot of the time id find a non boyfriend girl and feel like i had to be doing something proactively, nah, time is my ally, relax and let it happen.
Until next time,
Ajax~
Afternoon RSD Nation, whats the go?
Had a pretty fun night last night, no glory or anything but pushed through some real personal blocks and made my night FUN which was friggin awesome!
So tonight we were a bit thin on the ranks here in Melbourne, only me and Ash out, it's 1130pm, stuck in traffic, and it's poaring rain outside and cold...irelevant, lets make it happen anyway! Rain stops, get to the club, it's VIP night tonight and door girl does not let us in.... good thing we've been going there for years and the owner know my face and always looks after us :)
We get in and the whole place is totally different, it's normally dark like a normal club, tonight all these lights were on and it was almost like daylight inside, he music was also a lot softer - wow, this is friggin awesome! Even more awesome casue we could see the girls properly...and they were all hot :)
Ash hasnt been out in a month, ive been out once in the last 2 weeks... we're both in a lil "dur" mode right now, both rockin sober to save money and brain cells, but we chill in a high traffic area, have a chat, and holler up any hotties that walk by us, awesome!
2 more of the extended crew magically appear after getting knocked back at another club, the awesome foursome is born!
After last night i've been full on focused on self amusement and drawing my state from within, not relying on girls to make my night fun or to validate me, and i think i did pretty good at this.
I had quite a few sets - going in, pulling to girl in, spinning her around, talking jibberish to her, going for the makeout....repeatedly, haha. I had a lot of sets hook for a short while, perhaps a few minutes, nothing too solid. One interesting thing was that i lost count of how many girl said they had boyfriends! Some i think were legit and there was one i was sure was BS but anyhow...it was a VIP night for a new owner that had bought into the club, so i could imagine there would be a lot more couples and friends rather than chicks out to get laid as it woulda been hard for a lot of people to get in. Regardless they were all of the friendly type, like we'd chat for a few minutes, id go to escalate more or ask for a number and then they'd mention the boyfriend, so not too worried there.
I had a few moments that shined brighter than the rest, pushing through my comfort zones - twice i jumped into sets and comandeered girls that either had guys hitting on them or the guys knew them. First one were two girls chatting to some guy, he was man handling one a bit more than the other but showing them both attention, i just shoulder tapped the other one and started waffling to her, no problems, no confrontation, goood! The second was seeing this cute girl (cute from a distance i found out, haha) on the dance floor with two dudes and another girl, so a group of 4 dancing together. Guys werent touching the girls or anything and just choding about, so ive gone in shoulder tapped the girl, shes spun around and im right up in her face saying how shes gorgeous, etc, etc. Chodes vaporised for a few minutes, danced with the girl a bit, full on physical - no confusing what i was doing, and out of nowhere shes just changed mood, said shes got a boyfriend whos in the club ...blah blah blah, tried to push through it, wouldnt go. Shortly after saw her pashing the vaporising chode. My guess is since her and her friend were from sydney and they both wanted to bang, they needed 2 guys and since i was running solo at the time the chodes were the better option...Note to self, always have a wingman handy.
A big massive thing of the night was that i was consciously viewing myself as a cool value offering guy, and feeling that 100% trust that comes with this. I did this CONSCIOUSLY, as i see it as habbit that i need to build on, and it felt good, real good. Will be making sure to do this every day now, whether im at work or at home or at a club or on a date, i've been in this long enough and am old enough, time to get some of these fundamentals sorted for good.
Yeh so looking back the lessons from last night i figured are stronger eye contact and just more self trust, more laid back kinda vibe. A lot of the time id find a non boyfriend girl and feel like i had to be doing something proactively, nah, time is my ally, relax and let it happen.
Until next time,
Ajax~
__________________
Representing RSD Melbourne Crew~
Follow the Ajax~ Journey, follow the link below.
http://www.rsdnation.com/node/227033/forum
Follow the Ajax~ Journey, follow the link below.
http://www.rsdnation.com/node/227033/forum
THURSDAY 19/07/12
Hey Nation, Whats going on?!
Just the last week i've been doing this positivity exercise i came across in a TED video, and it is the fuckjing bomb! Since starting it every day since then has been a "good" day, just a lot more relaxed and sociable and optimistic about everything, it says to keep doing this for 3 weeks to get the full benefits but i might just keep going with it since it's the real deal.
Yeh so anyway on to business.
Almost wasnt going to head out tonight. No one was keen to head out, i had been working all day, icy cold outside.....but i couldnt come up with any better excuses so i went out anyway :)
Ended up convincing one of the extended Melby crew family to come out too, so a lot better than nothing. We rocked out about 1030 and decided to hit up a club i hadnt been to in ages but was supposed to be "relaunching". When we got there it was packed! Hot girls everywhere!!! Jackpot!! Only problem was everyone was outside the club, including us, and the line wasnt moving at all.....FUCK!!! Waited 90 minutes and by this time it was midnight and we were stuck outside in a non moving line, so we thought fuck it, backup place.
We went to some joint in the city that i hadnt been too on a thursday before. Quality was not as good but still good enough and we got in for free and didn't have to wait, thank god!
Decided i would have a drinking night tonight and knocked back a whole 2 and a half drinks, solid night for me (seriously). This was one of those LOUD and dark venues so after a drink i just jumped in and starteddoing funny dances and jumping around and just grabbing random girls to dance with.
- First girl i grabbed didnt like this and scampered off, haha, silly girl.
- Second girl i grabbed loved it. She was this cute crazy Swedish chick who i hung out with for a few minutes. She kept trying to introduce me to her ogre of a friend who i said "hey how are ya" to but kept chatting up the Swede. The friend started gettin bored and dragged her away somewhere but not before i grabbed the number.
Went back to chill with Erik for a bit who was just knocking back drinks but not really approaching as far as i could tell. Saw two hotties on the dancefloor, eyed off the brunette (my favorite) and went in. Danced with her briefly then just chatted her up best i could (as it was friggin loud and she kept feeling guilty about ignoring her friend). This one was going pretty good but the friend (who was a total cutie and shouldnt have any problem getting approached) was just standing round bored and my girl kept feeling bad....fuck, need a wing here!! I bounced from there for a bit but was in and out with them all night. Came back towards the end and found out my girl had work the next day and was sobering up, went for the makeout and got denied repeatedly, something about not coming to clubs to hookup, whatever, kept persisting over a few more minutes and no dice, could feel the spark dying so i cut my loses and moved on....to the girl right behind me :)
She was some tall blonde chick, not amazing but not bad at all. Very physical right from the start, pulled her in close, whispered in her ear for about 20 seconds before going for the makeout - feeling her resist for a second or two - kept the pressure on - then she just pounced on me for full makeout glory, awesome! Once again she had a friend here...and i had no wing!!! She was feeling bad about her friend and went back to dancing with her, i just started hitting up some girl behind her, haha.
This chick was alright, she had a gorgeous face but was a bit tubby but not gross or anything, haha. She was with a bunch of friends so (thank god!!) i could spend more than a few minutes with her without her friends needing attention. This girl was really shy, not very physical, and couldnt hold eye contact, but i just kept doing my thing, kept trying to escalate and getting denied, moved her around a bit. After like 10 minutes she actually starts to warm to me, squeezes my hand back, talks more, holds more eye contact, boom makeout.
Pull her to a quieter area of the bar with all these booths and settle in with her. Once again she seems really shy and timid - At this point i was feeling a lil anxious too, perhaps a bit outcome dependent, i had sobered up a bit and was slowly getting the whole "what should i say" thoughts through my head. Maybe a combo of being awake early, working all day, standing outside in the cold for ages, being pretty much solo, i dunno. Anyway took her to the bar to share a vodka together, went to another booth, madeout a bit more. Found out that she lives 2 minutes from my place!! (Yeh! this will always boost my motivation for all but the ugliest girls). Only thing was i had started to lose my relaxed fun vibe, and as i was considering how to pull this chick i started getting a bit outcome focused, and my brain just shut down, haha, yeh one of those moments.
I got to the point where i was like "fuck it" started making out with her hardcore, started rubbing her box, put her hand on dick and went from there. She was pretty shy and puled away at first but i kept going and she eventually started to join in, started rubbing dick....only problem was that her friend appeared out of nowhere, and had to interupt our little session to say they were leaving and if she wanted to come with them. Faaaaarkk. I could tell my girl had snapped out of her horny state and was in logic mode, feeling embarassed at being caight by her friend being slutty. I did all i could, repeatedly said i could drive her home, said it's all good, went from playful to serious but i think it was all done. Grabbed the number anyhow which she hit the call button with to give her my number and then she bolted. Fuck that!!! By now it was like 330 am, place was near empty and i was feeling tired and demotivated so was almost ready to call it a night.
Found the Swede though and started dancing with her a bit, but her ogre friend and her were inseperable! Said goobye to her, pulled her in and kissed her on the lips, yay, and then headed home. I ended up texting both the Swede and the tubby one to come out for an "after party" aka suck my dick, but no response from either of them, oh well, live and learn and have some fun as well.
Tonight was an interesting one, lots of fun and adventure. Lots of drinking and action taking, feeling like going home and giving up but still persisting and pushing things as much as i could. It was a real different from night from how i normally run things, im usually sober - take things slower - have much longer sets and usually get a solid number from one or two girls. Tonight i wanted to try the full opposite and it was a lot of fun as i was focused on getting roots and more "flash game", and not collecting numbers and more solid results as i've got about 4 girls on the go now, so anymore "solid numbers" would just be taking up my time. I could tell these numbers would not be solid, it was a high energy place and it was a lot of higher energy interactions with lots of drinking, pretty poor numbers from that style anyway.
SOOooooooo My VICTORIES from tonight were...
- Getting myself out of the house when all of my wings had gone AWOL and having to convince Erik to come out when he was gonna bail at the last moment. Waiting in line for 90 minutes in the icy cold, could have called it a night then and there but kept going anyway. Many a time i woulda told myself to go home, get some sleep, be fresh for the next day, etc, a lame complimentry prize, not tonight though.
- Letting loose a bit more, having a few drinks, seeing myself as a cool fun awesome dude who respects himself. Most of the night being free from outcome and being free and expressive and having fun. (Lost it a bit at the end though when i thought i was gonna pull)
- 2 makeouts and kiss from some alright girls, 2 phone numbers, being THAT GUY in a club that everyone had their eye on as i was just having fun, pulling in random and girls and obviously being the guy of value.
- Pushing myself right to the end, pushing my sets when the girl seemed hesitant, providing that reassuring presence that what she was doing was the right thing and to enjoy it! (making out, rubbing my cock, etc)
- Doing shit even when i didnt feel like it. Opening girls in front of other girls id just spent some time with, being free and not giving a fuck about what other people there were thinking.
LESSONS
- I shoulda pulled that tubby girl earlier on. I had this interaction that started off a bit intense and then pulled it back until it was a little too slow, lost all arousal and then lost of the girl. She was quiet and attentive the whole night and would have complied to being pulled earlier, but i think being caught out being slutty by her friend snapped her back into her social conditioning real world of ramifications.
- Be a bit more patient with the girl and fix logistics. Most of the girls i approached tonight were two sets and whilst the girl would love me she would not want to leave her friend by herself, and so this is where i would have to be a bit more patient with them both as i did not have a wing for the friend, or perhaps find a random dude to pair off with the friend.
- Whilst i did pretty good for most of the night i still need to give less of a fuck and stop being so focused on an outcome. This also ties in with having 100% trust in myself, and to know that there is no reason why i am not enough. I am a cool guy, let the girl worry if she is good enough and work to get me and not the other way around.
- Also whilst being on the dancefloor and going high energy is good, when ive got the girl isolated i need to learn to relax a LOT more and have more freedom from outcome and get comfortable wasting time, as time is my ally, as this is the part i tend to get the most anxious with occasionally as i feel like i have invested in the girl and i now have something to lose. Focus on ABUNDANCE and freedom of outcome.
So a cool fun night out and a bit different from how i normally work, will be heading out tonight with the full crew, lots of wings tonight (YEAAHH) and Alex will be running program too so lots of stuff going on tonight, and then a day3 tomorrow night (saturday night), so looks to be a good weekend.
So get out, have some fun, learn some lessons, get some vag. :)
Ajax~
Hey Nation, Whats going on?!
Just the last week i've been doing this positivity exercise i came across in a TED video, and it is the fuckjing bomb! Since starting it every day since then has been a "good" day, just a lot more relaxed and sociable and optimistic about everything, it says to keep doing this for 3 weeks to get the full benefits but i might just keep going with it since it's the real deal.
Yeh so anyway on to business.
Almost wasnt going to head out tonight. No one was keen to head out, i had been working all day, icy cold outside.....but i couldnt come up with any better excuses so i went out anyway :)
Ended up convincing one of the extended Melby crew family to come out too, so a lot better than nothing. We rocked out about 1030 and decided to hit up a club i hadnt been to in ages but was supposed to be "relaunching". When we got there it was packed! Hot girls everywhere!!! Jackpot!! Only problem was everyone was outside the club, including us, and the line wasnt moving at all.....FUCK!!! Waited 90 minutes and by this time it was midnight and we were stuck outside in a non moving line, so we thought fuck it, backup place.
We went to some joint in the city that i hadnt been too on a thursday before. Quality was not as good but still good enough and we got in for free and didn't have to wait, thank god!
Decided i would have a drinking night tonight and knocked back a whole 2 and a half drinks, solid night for me (seriously). This was one of those LOUD and dark venues so after a drink i just jumped in and starteddoing funny dances and jumping around and just grabbing random girls to dance with.
- First girl i grabbed didnt like this and scampered off, haha, silly girl.
- Second girl i grabbed loved it. She was this cute crazy Swedish chick who i hung out with for a few minutes. She kept trying to introduce me to her ogre of a friend who i said "hey how are ya" to but kept chatting up the Swede. The friend started gettin bored and dragged her away somewhere but not before i grabbed the number.
Went back to chill with Erik for a bit who was just knocking back drinks but not really approaching as far as i could tell. Saw two hotties on the dancefloor, eyed off the brunette (my favorite) and went in. Danced with her briefly then just chatted her up best i could (as it was friggin loud and she kept feeling guilty about ignoring her friend). This one was going pretty good but the friend (who was a total cutie and shouldnt have any problem getting approached) was just standing round bored and my girl kept feeling bad....fuck, need a wing here!! I bounced from there for a bit but was in and out with them all night. Came back towards the end and found out my girl had work the next day and was sobering up, went for the makeout and got denied repeatedly, something about not coming to clubs to hookup, whatever, kept persisting over a few more minutes and no dice, could feel the spark dying so i cut my loses and moved on....to the girl right behind me :)
She was some tall blonde chick, not amazing but not bad at all. Very physical right from the start, pulled her in close, whispered in her ear for about 20 seconds before going for the makeout - feeling her resist for a second or two - kept the pressure on - then she just pounced on me for full makeout glory, awesome! Once again she had a friend here...and i had no wing!!! She was feeling bad about her friend and went back to dancing with her, i just started hitting up some girl behind her, haha.
This chick was alright, she had a gorgeous face but was a bit tubby but not gross or anything, haha. She was with a bunch of friends so (thank god!!) i could spend more than a few minutes with her without her friends needing attention. This girl was really shy, not very physical, and couldnt hold eye contact, but i just kept doing my thing, kept trying to escalate and getting denied, moved her around a bit. After like 10 minutes she actually starts to warm to me, squeezes my hand back, talks more, holds more eye contact, boom makeout.
Pull her to a quieter area of the bar with all these booths and settle in with her. Once again she seems really shy and timid - At this point i was feeling a lil anxious too, perhaps a bit outcome dependent, i had sobered up a bit and was slowly getting the whole "what should i say" thoughts through my head. Maybe a combo of being awake early, working all day, standing outside in the cold for ages, being pretty much solo, i dunno. Anyway took her to the bar to share a vodka together, went to another booth, madeout a bit more. Found out that she lives 2 minutes from my place!! (Yeh! this will always boost my motivation for all but the ugliest girls). Only thing was i had started to lose my relaxed fun vibe, and as i was considering how to pull this chick i started getting a bit outcome focused, and my brain just shut down, haha, yeh one of those moments.
I got to the point where i was like "fuck it" started making out with her hardcore, started rubbing her box, put her hand on dick and went from there. She was pretty shy and puled away at first but i kept going and she eventually started to join in, started rubbing dick....only problem was that her friend appeared out of nowhere, and had to interupt our little session to say they were leaving and if she wanted to come with them. Faaaaarkk. I could tell my girl had snapped out of her horny state and was in logic mode, feeling embarassed at being caight by her friend being slutty. I did all i could, repeatedly said i could drive her home, said it's all good, went from playful to serious but i think it was all done. Grabbed the number anyhow which she hit the call button with to give her my number and then she bolted. Fuck that!!! By now it was like 330 am, place was near empty and i was feeling tired and demotivated so was almost ready to call it a night.
Found the Swede though and started dancing with her a bit, but her ogre friend and her were inseperable! Said goobye to her, pulled her in and kissed her on the lips, yay, and then headed home. I ended up texting both the Swede and the tubby one to come out for an "after party" aka suck my dick, but no response from either of them, oh well, live and learn and have some fun as well.
Tonight was an interesting one, lots of fun and adventure. Lots of drinking and action taking, feeling like going home and giving up but still persisting and pushing things as much as i could. It was a real different from night from how i normally run things, im usually sober - take things slower - have much longer sets and usually get a solid number from one or two girls. Tonight i wanted to try the full opposite and it was a lot of fun as i was focused on getting roots and more "flash game", and not collecting numbers and more solid results as i've got about 4 girls on the go now, so anymore "solid numbers" would just be taking up my time. I could tell these numbers would not be solid, it was a high energy place and it was a lot of higher energy interactions with lots of drinking, pretty poor numbers from that style anyway.
SOOooooooo My VICTORIES from tonight were...
- Getting myself out of the house when all of my wings had gone AWOL and having to convince Erik to come out when he was gonna bail at the last moment. Waiting in line for 90 minutes in the icy cold, could have called it a night then and there but kept going anyway. Many a time i woulda told myself to go home, get some sleep, be fresh for the next day, etc, a lame complimentry prize, not tonight though.
- Letting loose a bit more, having a few drinks, seeing myself as a cool fun awesome dude who respects himself. Most of the night being free from outcome and being free and expressive and having fun. (Lost it a bit at the end though when i thought i was gonna pull)
- 2 makeouts and kiss from some alright girls, 2 phone numbers, being THAT GUY in a club that everyone had their eye on as i was just having fun, pulling in random and girls and obviously being the guy of value.
- Pushing myself right to the end, pushing my sets when the girl seemed hesitant, providing that reassuring presence that what she was doing was the right thing and to enjoy it! (making out, rubbing my cock, etc)
- Doing shit even when i didnt feel like it. Opening girls in front of other girls id just spent some time with, being free and not giving a fuck about what other people there were thinking.
LESSONS
- I shoulda pulled that tubby girl earlier on. I had this interaction that started off a bit intense and then pulled it back until it was a little too slow, lost all arousal and then lost of the girl. She was quiet and attentive the whole night and would have complied to being pulled earlier, but i think being caught out being slutty by her friend snapped her back into her social conditioning real world of ramifications.
- Be a bit more patient with the girl and fix logistics. Most of the girls i approached tonight were two sets and whilst the girl would love me she would not want to leave her friend by herself, and so this is where i would have to be a bit more patient with them both as i did not have a wing for the friend, or perhaps find a random dude to pair off with the friend.
- Whilst i did pretty good for most of the night i still need to give less of a fuck and stop being so focused on an outcome. This also ties in with having 100% trust in myself, and to know that there is no reason why i am not enough. I am a cool guy, let the girl worry if she is good enough and work to get me and not the other way around.
- Also whilst being on the dancefloor and going high energy is good, when ive got the girl isolated i need to learn to relax a LOT more and have more freedom from outcome and get comfortable wasting time, as time is my ally, as this is the part i tend to get the most anxious with occasionally as i feel like i have invested in the girl and i now have something to lose. Focus on ABUNDANCE and freedom of outcome.
So a cool fun night out and a bit different from how i normally work, will be heading out tonight with the full crew, lots of wings tonight (YEAAHH) and Alex will be running program too so lots of stuff going on tonight, and then a day3 tomorrow night (saturday night), so looks to be a good weekend.
So get out, have some fun, learn some lessons, get some vag. :)
Ajax~
__________________
Representing RSD Melbourne Crew~
Follow the Ajax~ Journey, follow the link below.
http://www.rsdnation.com/node/227033/forum
Follow the Ajax~ Journey, follow the link below.
http://www.rsdnation.com/node/227033/forum
MONDAY 23/07/12
Hey everyone,
Different kind of reporting this week.
I went out this previous weekend but didn't write up about it...partly cause i was lazy and hungover, partly cause i felt like i was having a mini meltdown of some sort. Nothing too bad but i spent much of sunday just feeling totally mentally wrecked, like i was moping round the house all day and felt like my whole world had melted away, lol, let me explain what happened.
So tonight (saturday night) i had a day 3 planned with this chick. She had some friends party to go to first off which was cool so i got to hang out with the boys a bit earlier on in the night. I was with them for about 2 hours and all we really did was get caught in traffic and go from venue to venue for one reason or another, i wasnt running the show and was coming along for kicks so wasnt too fussed.
Eventually said my goodbyes and bounced off to meet my girl at the bar her friends party was at. They had a massive VIP room all to themselves, it was so spacious and compared to the rest of the venue had a lot less people in it so it was more chillaxing. Met up with my girl, met a few of her friends, grabbed a beer and just chilled with her for a while. I was pretty keen to get out of there though as it was real loud in there, everyone was just smashed and it was a private party vibe where i didnt know anyone else.
Eventually they all decided to leave the venue so thats when we made our move and got away. Headed over to the casino to grab a drink and just chat and stuff. Super crowded tonight but we got a seat and just drunk talked for a while, good fun but im not a solid drinker and after this things get a little blurry - i remember doing lots of exploring with her, trying to convince the host to let us into the VIP gambling area even though we werent members, and then carrying her up the street to mcdonalds for my own amusement, haha :)
Grabbed some maccas and sobered up a bit. She kept complaining that she was really tired and kept looking like she was nodding off, so we hunted round for a taxi and finally got one, pulled her into the middle seat in the back of the taxi with me, kept trying to makeout but she was half asleep. Taxi straight back to mine, into my room, music on, makeout - on the bed.....she's nodded off....WTF?!?!? I wasnt sure at the time if she was politely hinting that she doesnt want to do this and wants to go home, so takes up the silent protest by "falling asleep". I tried a few things to try and arouse her, tickled her, kissed her (which she wasnt kissing back) and since her skirt had ridden up a bit, started rubbing the inside of her thighs....nothing. Either she's faking or shes seriously tired...fuck that. Decide that this adventure is over for the night, take her to my car, drive her home, and realised how confused i was about the whole situation.
Yeh, to a point i was pretty angry, confused, depressed and sad. I liked this girl so far and we got on pretty well, she was super responcive to texts and very touchy with me the whole night, but it started to decrease towards to end. To be honest i think what was REALLY getting me down was less to do with not getting laid but more about how things we for me that night. There were multiple times throughout the night where there was just silence between me and the girl, not arkward but not totally relaxed either. I was pissed at myself that i could be out on a saturday night, dressed to the tops, have a drink inside of me with a cute girl who is into me, and im still struggling to relax enough to have some words come out of the my mouth. It seems petty and it IS but for the next 24 hours it really fucked with my head. I thought i was better than this, i thought there was something wrong with me. I did some journaling in my paper journal and first of all realised that this was fucking nothing in the scheme of things and did not really matter.
******************************************************************
Now here's where things get interesting and i had a CLICK go off inside of my head. Me and the girl were supposed to go to the movies this night as well to see the new batman. Half of me thought she had no interest in seeing me again - mainly cause of my drunkenness, silent moments and just this overall feeling that i had said stupid things or had stuffed up in some way. She messaged me a long text saying she was super sick (and might that have explained her tiredness) and if we could make it another day, she seemed pretty genuine and was very keen to lock in another day - still very responcive to texts and v keen to meet up again, suggesting new days when i didnt respond, smiley faces, etc
NOW, the thing that really flipped things up for me here was this realisation. All this bullshit that i have written about in the last few paragraphs of feelings crap and angry and stuff, it was all in my head!! None of it was legit at all, i had just fabricated it and made false assumptions. The girl was ALREADY into me from the start, and yet i was stressing out that i had done something wrong, or that i hadnt done something, or that a million other things werent right. No. The lesson here is that I AM ENOUGH, THERE IS NO REASON WHY I AM NOT ENOUGH, instead of worrying what is going on with the girl, just assume that i am enough and that eventually she will realise this. Dont just do this with this girl, or with all girls, do it with myself in all situations every day, make it a lifestyle!
*****************************************************************
It's one thing to think that you are enough, it's another thing to UNDERSTAND it and to acknowledge all positive reference experiences about it. I've taken this realisation and this lesson one step further and am going to be cutting down on RSD theory massively for a while. The only material ill be watching will be anything Alexander~ related as this stuff is the real deal, real world, and is more focused on you becoming the man you are meant to be, not chasing girls and BEAST MODE and all the other crap that is very focused on the girls. I need to be more focused on me and less on the girls, get my shit sorted and the girls will come. I'm also gonna be cutting out 90% of the self therapy i tend to do to myself (if you've read my posts a bit you'll see that i can get pretty deep and analytical), ill be keeping it very light from now on - both in this blog and in my real life - just have a lot more trust in myself, take more risks, and stop over analysing stuff.
Yeh, so pickup aside ive also been a bit anxious lately about my overall direction in life. I'll be 25 soon and still dont have much direction in my professional and career life as the last several years have been more focused on pickup, self imporvement and travel. Living the good life is great for a while but at some point we all have to accept that this can't go on forever, i mean do you wanna be a 40 year old guy with no money, no career, no prospects, living at home with your parents who goes around chasing 18 years olds in bars? Lol, wrong site to ask this, im sure there are some peops who wouldnt mind but i sure as hell don't want to be that guy. I've known guys like that (minus the picking up girls) and they just seemed so depressed and disillusioned with life. It's like theyve lost all hope and are now stuck in some sort of purgatory of hopelessness.
I feel like i've happy to sacrifice some romping time in my life, perhaps a few years if it means i can get my shit in order. My life feels horribly off balance at the moment and i know that reflects into how i see myself , i mean afterall it is mans nature to want to be productive, to build, to claim territory, to win wars, and i need to start doing more of this. I want to know that within a year i will be on my way to getting a solid career with job security, good salary, and a job that i enjoy doing.
It's interesting comparing my rsd friends to non rsd friends thought. Many of my Rsd friends are on the whole living more day to day. Romping all night, never having any savings, not too concerned for the future (i think), just enjoying their life, which is totally awesome in one way but do it for too long and i strongly believe you'll come to a place of severe pain and regrett. My non rsd friends however are obviously the opposite. More career focused, lots of money saved up for investment properties, however no girls, no adventures, no romping, no idea what they're missing out on. What i want is a mid point between these two types of friends, i want to be able to go romping 2-4 times a week, go on dates after work, etc, but still be career focused, have financial goals, be able to afford to have some fun in life.
****
So that's where i am at the moment. I wanna start sharing some shorter posts with everyone too in the future. These longs ones are good but they take forever to type and i start to blur my key points. But yeh, my lessons from this are that i need to start assuming that i am enough, that i have the value, and stop playing therapist to myself and analysing every little thing, just take it as it comes and adjust accordingly.
Thanks boys,
Ajax~
Hey everyone,
Different kind of reporting this week.
I went out this previous weekend but didn't write up about it...partly cause i was lazy and hungover, partly cause i felt like i was having a mini meltdown of some sort. Nothing too bad but i spent much of sunday just feeling totally mentally wrecked, like i was moping round the house all day and felt like my whole world had melted away, lol, let me explain what happened.
So tonight (saturday night) i had a day 3 planned with this chick. She had some friends party to go to first off which was cool so i got to hang out with the boys a bit earlier on in the night. I was with them for about 2 hours and all we really did was get caught in traffic and go from venue to venue for one reason or another, i wasnt running the show and was coming along for kicks so wasnt too fussed.
Eventually said my goodbyes and bounced off to meet my girl at the bar her friends party was at. They had a massive VIP room all to themselves, it was so spacious and compared to the rest of the venue had a lot less people in it so it was more chillaxing. Met up with my girl, met a few of her friends, grabbed a beer and just chilled with her for a while. I was pretty keen to get out of there though as it was real loud in there, everyone was just smashed and it was a private party vibe where i didnt know anyone else.
Eventually they all decided to leave the venue so thats when we made our move and got away. Headed over to the casino to grab a drink and just chat and stuff. Super crowded tonight but we got a seat and just drunk talked for a while, good fun but im not a solid drinker and after this things get a little blurry - i remember doing lots of exploring with her, trying to convince the host to let us into the VIP gambling area even though we werent members, and then carrying her up the street to mcdonalds for my own amusement, haha :)
Grabbed some maccas and sobered up a bit. She kept complaining that she was really tired and kept looking like she was nodding off, so we hunted round for a taxi and finally got one, pulled her into the middle seat in the back of the taxi with me, kept trying to makeout but she was half asleep. Taxi straight back to mine, into my room, music on, makeout - on the bed.....she's nodded off....WTF?!?!? I wasnt sure at the time if she was politely hinting that she doesnt want to do this and wants to go home, so takes up the silent protest by "falling asleep". I tried a few things to try and arouse her, tickled her, kissed her (which she wasnt kissing back) and since her skirt had ridden up a bit, started rubbing the inside of her thighs....nothing. Either she's faking or shes seriously tired...fuck that. Decide that this adventure is over for the night, take her to my car, drive her home, and realised how confused i was about the whole situation.
Yeh, to a point i was pretty angry, confused, depressed and sad. I liked this girl so far and we got on pretty well, she was super responcive to texts and very touchy with me the whole night, but it started to decrease towards to end. To be honest i think what was REALLY getting me down was less to do with not getting laid but more about how things we for me that night. There were multiple times throughout the night where there was just silence between me and the girl, not arkward but not totally relaxed either. I was pissed at myself that i could be out on a saturday night, dressed to the tops, have a drink inside of me with a cute girl who is into me, and im still struggling to relax enough to have some words come out of the my mouth. It seems petty and it IS but for the next 24 hours it really fucked with my head. I thought i was better than this, i thought there was something wrong with me. I did some journaling in my paper journal and first of all realised that this was fucking nothing in the scheme of things and did not really matter.
******************************************************************
Now here's where things get interesting and i had a CLICK go off inside of my head. Me and the girl were supposed to go to the movies this night as well to see the new batman. Half of me thought she had no interest in seeing me again - mainly cause of my drunkenness, silent moments and just this overall feeling that i had said stupid things or had stuffed up in some way. She messaged me a long text saying she was super sick (and might that have explained her tiredness) and if we could make it another day, she seemed pretty genuine and was very keen to lock in another day - still very responcive to texts and v keen to meet up again, suggesting new days when i didnt respond, smiley faces, etc
NOW, the thing that really flipped things up for me here was this realisation. All this bullshit that i have written about in the last few paragraphs of feelings crap and angry and stuff, it was all in my head!! None of it was legit at all, i had just fabricated it and made false assumptions. The girl was ALREADY into me from the start, and yet i was stressing out that i had done something wrong, or that i hadnt done something, or that a million other things werent right. No. The lesson here is that I AM ENOUGH, THERE IS NO REASON WHY I AM NOT ENOUGH, instead of worrying what is going on with the girl, just assume that i am enough and that eventually she will realise this. Dont just do this with this girl, or with all girls, do it with myself in all situations every day, make it a lifestyle!
*****************************************************************
It's one thing to think that you are enough, it's another thing to UNDERSTAND it and to acknowledge all positive reference experiences about it. I've taken this realisation and this lesson one step further and am going to be cutting down on RSD theory massively for a while. The only material ill be watching will be anything Alexander~ related as this stuff is the real deal, real world, and is more focused on you becoming the man you are meant to be, not chasing girls and BEAST MODE and all the other crap that is very focused on the girls. I need to be more focused on me and less on the girls, get my shit sorted and the girls will come. I'm also gonna be cutting out 90% of the self therapy i tend to do to myself (if you've read my posts a bit you'll see that i can get pretty deep and analytical), ill be keeping it very light from now on - both in this blog and in my real life - just have a lot more trust in myself, take more risks, and stop over analysing stuff.
Yeh, so pickup aside ive also been a bit anxious lately about my overall direction in life. I'll be 25 soon and still dont have much direction in my professional and career life as the last several years have been more focused on pickup, self imporvement and travel. Living the good life is great for a while but at some point we all have to accept that this can't go on forever, i mean do you wanna be a 40 year old guy with no money, no career, no prospects, living at home with your parents who goes around chasing 18 years olds in bars? Lol, wrong site to ask this, im sure there are some peops who wouldnt mind but i sure as hell don't want to be that guy. I've known guys like that (minus the picking up girls) and they just seemed so depressed and disillusioned with life. It's like theyve lost all hope and are now stuck in some sort of purgatory of hopelessness.
I feel like i've happy to sacrifice some romping time in my life, perhaps a few years if it means i can get my shit in order. My life feels horribly off balance at the moment and i know that reflects into how i see myself , i mean afterall it is mans nature to want to be productive, to build, to claim territory, to win wars, and i need to start doing more of this. I want to know that within a year i will be on my way to getting a solid career with job security, good salary, and a job that i enjoy doing.
It's interesting comparing my rsd friends to non rsd friends thought. Many of my Rsd friends are on the whole living more day to day. Romping all night, never having any savings, not too concerned for the future (i think), just enjoying their life, which is totally awesome in one way but do it for too long and i strongly believe you'll come to a place of severe pain and regrett. My non rsd friends however are obviously the opposite. More career focused, lots of money saved up for investment properties, however no girls, no adventures, no romping, no idea what they're missing out on. What i want is a mid point between these two types of friends, i want to be able to go romping 2-4 times a week, go on dates after work, etc, but still be career focused, have financial goals, be able to afford to have some fun in life.
****
So that's where i am at the moment. I wanna start sharing some shorter posts with everyone too in the future. These longs ones are good but they take forever to type and i start to blur my key points. But yeh, my lessons from this are that i need to start assuming that i am enough, that i have the value, and stop playing therapist to myself and analysing every little thing, just take it as it comes and adjust accordingly.
Thanks boys,
Ajax~
__________________
Representing RSD Melbourne Crew~
Follow the Ajax~ Journey, follow the link below.
http://www.rsdnation.com/node/227033/forum
Follow the Ajax~ Journey, follow the link below.
http://www.rsdnation.com/node/227033/forum
SATURDAY 28/07/12
Hey guys,
Wow this weeks gone fast, lets get straight into it.
The previous night (friday) went out on a movie date with this chick i've seen a few times, had planned to seal the deal tonight but found out that she had work at 7am the next day and couldnt stay out too late...bugger.
Not a big deal though, she's been sending me lots of suggestive text messages so i think it's a pretty safe root, but it doesnt count until it's done so i wont worry about it too much.
So anyway onto saturday night.... Interesting kind of night, didn't get out until almost 12, it was cold, going to a new club, and was short of cash so had to call it a sober night, but im still out, and thats the main thing.
To be honest about tonight i kinda let myself down big, i didn't take right action, i didn't step, and i barely approached all night. I know i know, it's my fault and i need to take more responcibility for this. I could give you half a dozen excuses or rationalisations and more reasoning than a criminal lawyer but the fact is none of it matters. It's one thing to take lots of action and give it your best shot and go home and be content with the fact that you did your best, you took right action, and can feel good about that. But yeh, i just had one of those nights when i didnt take right action, barely opened and now have feel a bit defeated casue of it.
But i wanna take this as a wake up call and not a defeat as there is always a lesson in every experience. I spent the whole night watching the crew tear it up, have fun, take action, and get roots, but i was lazy and paid the price. My lesson here is back to the basics, just take right action. If you feel like crap and cant talk to anyone, do it anyway, go in and fuck it up if you have to, it doesnt matter. The best guys i know are the ones that go to the bar when they are tired and dont feel like it, amd go and chat up people when it's the last thing they feel like doing. You may not pull that night but it sets the groundwork for those nights when you are killing it and reaching a level of consistency, cause after all you need consistency and not perfection.
Tonight i did hit up a few sets, one of them went alright but more often than not i was standing around chatting to the guys, playing with my phone or getting a drink/going to the bathroom, etc The rest of the crew took right action and they had a good night because of it.
So yep, i see this night as a learning experience and a strong reminder that i am not above the process, everyone has to take action regardless of if they are Alex~, Tyler, Brad, whoever.... So starting from now i need to hold myself a lot more accountable to taking action, regardless of how i feel - this is where the growth and results will come from.
Hope this journal entry has been a lot lighter than previous ones :)
Ajax~
Hey guys,
Wow this weeks gone fast, lets get straight into it.
The previous night (friday) went out on a movie date with this chick i've seen a few times, had planned to seal the deal tonight but found out that she had work at 7am the next day and couldnt stay out too late...bugger.
Not a big deal though, she's been sending me lots of suggestive text messages so i think it's a pretty safe root, but it doesnt count until it's done so i wont worry about it too much.
So anyway onto saturday night.... Interesting kind of night, didn't get out until almost 12, it was cold, going to a new club, and was short of cash so had to call it a sober night, but im still out, and thats the main thing.
To be honest about tonight i kinda let myself down big, i didn't take right action, i didn't step, and i barely approached all night. I know i know, it's my fault and i need to take more responcibility for this. I could give you half a dozen excuses or rationalisations and more reasoning than a criminal lawyer but the fact is none of it matters. It's one thing to take lots of action and give it your best shot and go home and be content with the fact that you did your best, you took right action, and can feel good about that. But yeh, i just had one of those nights when i didnt take right action, barely opened and now have feel a bit defeated casue of it.
But i wanna take this as a wake up call and not a defeat as there is always a lesson in every experience. I spent the whole night watching the crew tear it up, have fun, take action, and get roots, but i was lazy and paid the price. My lesson here is back to the basics, just take right action. If you feel like crap and cant talk to anyone, do it anyway, go in and fuck it up if you have to, it doesnt matter. The best guys i know are the ones that go to the bar when they are tired and dont feel like it, amd go and chat up people when it's the last thing they feel like doing. You may not pull that night but it sets the groundwork for those nights when you are killing it and reaching a level of consistency, cause after all you need consistency and not perfection.
Tonight i did hit up a few sets, one of them went alright but more often than not i was standing around chatting to the guys, playing with my phone or getting a drink/going to the bathroom, etc The rest of the crew took right action and they had a good night because of it.
So yep, i see this night as a learning experience and a strong reminder that i am not above the process, everyone has to take action regardless of if they are Alex~, Tyler, Brad, whoever.... So starting from now i need to hold myself a lot more accountable to taking action, regardless of how i feel - this is where the growth and results will come from.
Hope this journal entry has been a lot lighter than previous ones :)
Ajax~
__________________
Representing RSD Melbourne Crew~
Follow the Ajax~ Journey, follow the link below.
http://www.rsdnation.com/node/227033/forum
Follow the Ajax~ Journey, follow the link below.
http://www.rsdnation.com/node/227033/forum
FRIDAY 03/08/12 LR
Yo yo RSD Nation,
So after last week i've decided that i need to take things a little more seriously than i already have.
After watching Accoustic Ninja dominate over the last few years its become clear to see that i have not been taking enough responcibility the last few years and have not reached my potential, not even close!!
Accoustic went out almost every night for 2 years straight, worked 12 hours days and slept less hours than any sane person could tolerate, but it really paid off in the end, and i've realised that my excuses for not going out excessively the last few years (I was tired, i was sick, i didnt feel like it, i had an early start, etc) were pretty lame. Like i imagine myself when i'm 80 or 90 years old and thinking back and realising how much potential i had and how LAME my excuses were, it's like " Did you step up in life and become the man you want to become?" Why not? "I was tired??" I mean what the fuck, how could i look back on that and not have massive regretts??
So where am i right now?
Massive focus on going out....lots. I'm thinking at least 5 or 6 nights a week minimum - dates or romping at a bar, doesnt matter. Like at the moment my excuses just arnt good enough, " I am tired, family guy is on tv, etc" so unless im in hospital with a broken jaw and two broken arms (no waffling, no clawing) then i've got no reasonable excuse. Even going out for 30 minutes on a dead, cold monday night by myself is good enough - i dont have to be out all night when i have work the next day, but i can go out for an hour easilly.
I've also made myself a quotes list for my wall which i've laminated, lots of stuff all based on taking action, taking right action and taking responcibility - I know that as long as i get out of the house, talk to some girls - the chips will all fall into place and stuff will happen. I know all the theory, i dont need to clog my head up inner game principles or whatever, its all strictly action based and then just let my natural self take over.
*************************************************
Yeh so anyway back to the friday night LR story.
Hit up our regular pre partying pub. It was supposed to be a warmup place but we ended up just staying there the whole night.
I was driving and thought we'd be leaving soon so didnt really settle in that much, was in a keyed up sorta mood ready to leave, but after an hour of this i though "fuck it" we're staying here, just relax a bit and have some fun.
I hit up a few girls throughout the night, nothing spectacular at first - but at the moment i'm focusing on not being results based but more action based. As long as i make moves and step up - regardless of what happens the night is a good one. The first few were a bit tame, nothing to great, just chatting about the bar and the footy and stuff, no worries. Came across some crazy blonde bitch who was all friendly at first but when i said i didnt have a cigarette for her she went all sour and became really rude, wtf, haha, stupid cow.
Eventually went in to chat to this cute asian chick and her friend, Coffeecomplex with his superb timing came in and joined us, and eventually i split off with my asian to grab a drink. turns out she was a bit older than me (29) which im not used to at all, i usually end up with chicks in their late teens/early 20's so this was a fun novelty. One thing that ive noticed i did last night (thursday) that really turns things up is to stand right in front of the chick when you're talking to her, like almost uncomfortably close - you can feel the sexual tension just boiling over, its so easy to grab their hand or something and almost got me a root last night too, but a small logistical problem fucked it up, haha. So yeh i was right up in asians face, but being cool as a cucumber at the same time. Our conversation kept moving into these sexual intuendoes and i knew that this was going down.
Finish our drinks and head to the dancefloor, she's all wanting to check up on her friends, but i just pull her along anyway - irrelevant - on the dancefloor, sexual tension is through the roof, still havnt kissed yet and just full body to body contact, bit of neck biting, insane eye contact - no makeout yet.
Something inside of me clicked and i knew it was time. "Oi, let's go get a souvlaki, lets go on an adventure" pull her towards the door, zero resistance. Get her outside and she's all like asking where we're going and saying she should message her friends, fine, whatever. My only regrett her is that i was parked ages away and she kept getting tired....lol.
We're down a dark side street about to get to my car, i stop her, push her up against a wall and makeout times! I was tempted to bang her then and there as she was pretty receptive and almost daring me with her eyes - but i was busting to take a piss so pulled her into the car and back to mine. Full on sexual talk all the way home - telling her i was gonna kidnap her, fuck her, steal her stuff and then dump her in the middle of nowhere - she was loving it!
Pulled her inside - full on glory - absolute dirty older girl who knew what she was doing, awesome sex and a fun experience, finished all porn star style by cumming all over her face and then in her mouth :)
It doesnt end here though... :D
We cuddle for a bit, eventually get dressed and i take her home. I'm feeling prety adventurous now so just as we've left my place i pull my cock and balls out and just guide her head down to my crotch - awesome, road head for the trip home! It was friggin awesome as i dont have tinted windows or anything, and im sure a few taxi drivers must have seen it, but we didnt give a damn. Pull up in this side street just around the corner from her house, lay back and let her finish her work. Her ass is like pointing out towards the side window so i just pull her panties and skirt down and grope her, secretly hoping some unsuspecting person would step outside for their morning walk (this is about 5am) ;) Cum a second time, finish in her mouth, she swallows and then i head home.
Good fun night out :)
Ajax~
Yo yo RSD Nation,
So after last week i've decided that i need to take things a little more seriously than i already have.
After watching Accoustic Ninja dominate over the last few years its become clear to see that i have not been taking enough responcibility the last few years and have not reached my potential, not even close!!
Accoustic went out almost every night for 2 years straight, worked 12 hours days and slept less hours than any sane person could tolerate, but it really paid off in the end, and i've realised that my excuses for not going out excessively the last few years (I was tired, i was sick, i didnt feel like it, i had an early start, etc) were pretty lame. Like i imagine myself when i'm 80 or 90 years old and thinking back and realising how much potential i had and how LAME my excuses were, it's like " Did you step up in life and become the man you want to become?" Why not? "I was tired??" I mean what the fuck, how could i look back on that and not have massive regretts??
So where am i right now?
Massive focus on going out....lots. I'm thinking at least 5 or 6 nights a week minimum - dates or romping at a bar, doesnt matter. Like at the moment my excuses just arnt good enough, " I am tired, family guy is on tv, etc" so unless im in hospital with a broken jaw and two broken arms (no waffling, no clawing) then i've got no reasonable excuse. Even going out for 30 minutes on a dead, cold monday night by myself is good enough - i dont have to be out all night when i have work the next day, but i can go out for an hour easilly.
I've also made myself a quotes list for my wall which i've laminated, lots of stuff all based on taking action, taking right action and taking responcibility - I know that as long as i get out of the house, talk to some girls - the chips will all fall into place and stuff will happen. I know all the theory, i dont need to clog my head up inner game principles or whatever, its all strictly action based and then just let my natural self take over.
*************************************************
Yeh so anyway back to the friday night LR story.
Hit up our regular pre partying pub. It was supposed to be a warmup place but we ended up just staying there the whole night.
I was driving and thought we'd be leaving soon so didnt really settle in that much, was in a keyed up sorta mood ready to leave, but after an hour of this i though "fuck it" we're staying here, just relax a bit and have some fun.
I hit up a few girls throughout the night, nothing spectacular at first - but at the moment i'm focusing on not being results based but more action based. As long as i make moves and step up - regardless of what happens the night is a good one. The first few were a bit tame, nothing to great, just chatting about the bar and the footy and stuff, no worries. Came across some crazy blonde bitch who was all friendly at first but when i said i didnt have a cigarette for her she went all sour and became really rude, wtf, haha, stupid cow.
Eventually went in to chat to this cute asian chick and her friend, Coffeecomplex with his superb timing came in and joined us, and eventually i split off with my asian to grab a drink. turns out she was a bit older than me (29) which im not used to at all, i usually end up with chicks in their late teens/early 20's so this was a fun novelty. One thing that ive noticed i did last night (thursday) that really turns things up is to stand right in front of the chick when you're talking to her, like almost uncomfortably close - you can feel the sexual tension just boiling over, its so easy to grab their hand or something and almost got me a root last night too, but a small logistical problem fucked it up, haha. So yeh i was right up in asians face, but being cool as a cucumber at the same time. Our conversation kept moving into these sexual intuendoes and i knew that this was going down.
Finish our drinks and head to the dancefloor, she's all wanting to check up on her friends, but i just pull her along anyway - irrelevant - on the dancefloor, sexual tension is through the roof, still havnt kissed yet and just full body to body contact, bit of neck biting, insane eye contact - no makeout yet.
Something inside of me clicked and i knew it was time. "Oi, let's go get a souvlaki, lets go on an adventure" pull her towards the door, zero resistance. Get her outside and she's all like asking where we're going and saying she should message her friends, fine, whatever. My only regrett her is that i was parked ages away and she kept getting tired....lol.
We're down a dark side street about to get to my car, i stop her, push her up against a wall and makeout times! I was tempted to bang her then and there as she was pretty receptive and almost daring me with her eyes - but i was busting to take a piss so pulled her into the car and back to mine. Full on sexual talk all the way home - telling her i was gonna kidnap her, fuck her, steal her stuff and then dump her in the middle of nowhere - she was loving it!
Pulled her inside - full on glory - absolute dirty older girl who knew what she was doing, awesome sex and a fun experience, finished all porn star style by cumming all over her face and then in her mouth :)
It doesnt end here though... :D
We cuddle for a bit, eventually get dressed and i take her home. I'm feeling prety adventurous now so just as we've left my place i pull my cock and balls out and just guide her head down to my crotch - awesome, road head for the trip home! It was friggin awesome as i dont have tinted windows or anything, and im sure a few taxi drivers must have seen it, but we didnt give a damn. Pull up in this side street just around the corner from her house, lay back and let her finish her work. Her ass is like pointing out towards the side window so i just pull her panties and skirt down and grope her, secretly hoping some unsuspecting person would step outside for their morning walk (this is about 5am) ;) Cum a second time, finish in her mouth, she swallows and then i head home.
Good fun night out :)
Ajax~
__________________
Representing RSD Melbourne Crew~
Follow the Ajax~ Journey, follow the link below.
http://www.rsdnation.com/node/227033/forum
Follow the Ajax~ Journey, follow the link below.
http://www.rsdnation.com/node/227033/forum
SATURDAY 04/08/12
Whadup Nation!?!
Saturday Night Part 1
So headed out tonight once again with the crew, once again headed to the local bar which we all seem to love and hate at the same time.
I was rockin' it sober again but had a few red bulls to tide me over. Was feeling quite out of it early in the night to be honest, not really that chatty with the crew or with girls, not really taking any action, but at some point i just accepted this, and made some moves.
I just started talking jibberish with which ever crew members were around, went up to have some real relaxed waffle with 2 girls who turned away from me almost instantly, hehe.
Went to help wing Accoustic Ninja, couldnt even get my voice heard as the two girls were all attention on him, haha, oh dear, not my night yet.
Eventually saw this brunette hottie in a red dress. (Note - I love brunette chicks about 10X more than blondies, and i love chicks in red dresses, so there was no way i could not go and meet her!) Just went in, full on waffling, talking about her dress, the fire place, lots of other random stuff, i think sex came up at some point as well. Good fun convo anyhow, right up close to her and all, grabbed the number then bounced when her room mate wouldnt leave her alone for a while.
Hit up some other drunk chick and she and her friends wanted some photos of me, yay for random facebook tags!
Get a text from red dress saying she was leaving, and was outside in the smoko area having one last smoke. I go back up to her, find out the deal - she's bout to take a taxi home by herself, room mates have already left, yeh sweet...BUT she's got work the next day at 9 and wants an early night...fuck that. She said she had to leave now to grab a taxi but she ended up staying for an extra 30 minutes as i was good company apparently. After being in her face all night at some point she's asked me if im going to kiss her or not, i denied the offer and said she could wait (build up some tension). ;) As she really had to go I repeatedly offered to be her taxi driver which she rejected but i had comebacks to about 100 tests and finally she agreed, i grabbed her hand and pulled her outside. We walked back to my car having a nice chat about sex in the workplace and hearing about all the naughty shit she's done, yeeeeeh, sounds good girl. Get her in the car, pull her in - Makeout! Grab her hand, put it on my cock and see what happens - she just leaves it there for a bit before pulling back and saying "im not that sort of girl, we're not having sex" blah blah blah, whatever, drive her back to my front door step and try and get her inside.
I think the thing that killed it was the logisics, she had to get up for work and had planned an early night and wanted it that way, grrrrr. Persisted for ages but finally realised it wasnt gonna go so started driving her home. We kept the sexual chat up however and were talking about adventurous public sex, and i was feeling a bit adventurous so i though "fuck it" whipped my cock out as im driving and went to pull her hand over onto it.... haha she wasnt up for it. She didnt freak out or anything and was quite comfortable and would come close but wouldnt touch it....lol, so yeh dropped her home....it's now 1am and the night is young, so i race over to join the crew at the casino to see what adventures await.
Saturday Night Part 2
After struggling to get a park for almost 30 minutes i finally meet up with the crew. Headed to some casino bar and found these Irish chicks who i started waffling with. The one i gravitated towards was 28 and turned out to be the biggest cock tease ever!
I spent 90 minutes with her talking about all sorts of naughty stuff, pushing through a crap load of tests about me being too young, too snobby, being Australian, trying to pick her up, ,etc - Id get physical and grab her hands and stuff which she'd do for a while then suddenly withdraw - sh kept saying it wa a girls night and she wasnt here to meet guys - yeh right.
So after 90 minutes of this it becomes obvious that the small age difference is a major issue for her, (im 24 and she's 28) - trust me, i spun this in as many different ways as i could but she was just stubborn and stupid and would not give me anything, not even a number...so i just shut down and ignored her as they left, even though she came over to give me a big hug at the end...waste of time but some lessons in there im sure.
I think the big one here was figuring out whether the age gap was just token resistance or a genuine issue - it was definately genuine as she would not let it go. I did my best and sometimes these things will not go down no matter how much they love you and how on point you are. Oh well live and learn
Yeh so the crew all wanted to go home and i was spent too so i called it a night.
Cool weekend though, will be out again for a bit tonight - hope to be out 5-7 nights a week, we'll see where i end up in a few months eh ;)
Ajax!~
Whadup Nation!?!
Saturday Night Part 1
So headed out tonight once again with the crew, once again headed to the local bar which we all seem to love and hate at the same time.
I was rockin' it sober again but had a few red bulls to tide me over. Was feeling quite out of it early in the night to be honest, not really that chatty with the crew or with girls, not really taking any action, but at some point i just accepted this, and made some moves.
I just started talking jibberish with which ever crew members were around, went up to have some real relaxed waffle with 2 girls who turned away from me almost instantly, hehe.
Went to help wing Accoustic Ninja, couldnt even get my voice heard as the two girls were all attention on him, haha, oh dear, not my night yet.
Eventually saw this brunette hottie in a red dress. (Note - I love brunette chicks about 10X more than blondies, and i love chicks in red dresses, so there was no way i could not go and meet her!) Just went in, full on waffling, talking about her dress, the fire place, lots of other random stuff, i think sex came up at some point as well. Good fun convo anyhow, right up close to her and all, grabbed the number then bounced when her room mate wouldnt leave her alone for a while.
Hit up some other drunk chick and she and her friends wanted some photos of me, yay for random facebook tags!
Get a text from red dress saying she was leaving, and was outside in the smoko area having one last smoke. I go back up to her, find out the deal - she's bout to take a taxi home by herself, room mates have already left, yeh sweet...BUT she's got work the next day at 9 and wants an early night...fuck that. She said she had to leave now to grab a taxi but she ended up staying for an extra 30 minutes as i was good company apparently. After being in her face all night at some point she's asked me if im going to kiss her or not, i denied the offer and said she could wait (build up some tension). ;) As she really had to go I repeatedly offered to be her taxi driver which she rejected but i had comebacks to about 100 tests and finally she agreed, i grabbed her hand and pulled her outside. We walked back to my car having a nice chat about sex in the workplace and hearing about all the naughty shit she's done, yeeeeeh, sounds good girl. Get her in the car, pull her in - Makeout! Grab her hand, put it on my cock and see what happens - she just leaves it there for a bit before pulling back and saying "im not that sort of girl, we're not having sex" blah blah blah, whatever, drive her back to my front door step and try and get her inside.
I think the thing that killed it was the logisics, she had to get up for work and had planned an early night and wanted it that way, grrrrr. Persisted for ages but finally realised it wasnt gonna go so started driving her home. We kept the sexual chat up however and were talking about adventurous public sex, and i was feeling a bit adventurous so i though "fuck it" whipped my cock out as im driving and went to pull her hand over onto it.... haha she wasnt up for it. She didnt freak out or anything and was quite comfortable and would come close but wouldnt touch it....lol, so yeh dropped her home....it's now 1am and the night is young, so i race over to join the crew at the casino to see what adventures await.
Saturday Night Part 2
After struggling to get a park for almost 30 minutes i finally meet up with the crew. Headed to some casino bar and found these Irish chicks who i started waffling with. The one i gravitated towards was 28 and turned out to be the biggest cock tease ever!
I spent 90 minutes with her talking about all sorts of naughty stuff, pushing through a crap load of tests about me being too young, too snobby, being Australian, trying to pick her up, ,etc - Id get physical and grab her hands and stuff which she'd do for a while then suddenly withdraw - sh kept saying it wa a girls night and she wasnt here to meet guys - yeh right.
So after 90 minutes of this it becomes obvious that the small age difference is a major issue for her, (im 24 and she's 28) - trust me, i spun this in as many different ways as i could but she was just stubborn and stupid and would not give me anything, not even a number...so i just shut down and ignored her as they left, even though she came over to give me a big hug at the end...waste of time but some lessons in there im sure.
I think the big one here was figuring out whether the age gap was just token resistance or a genuine issue - it was definately genuine as she would not let it go. I did my best and sometimes these things will not go down no matter how much they love you and how on point you are. Oh well live and learn
Yeh so the crew all wanted to go home and i was spent too so i called it a night.
Cool weekend though, will be out again for a bit tonight - hope to be out 5-7 nights a week, we'll see where i end up in a few months eh ;)
Ajax!~
__________________
Representing RSD Melbourne Crew~
Follow the Ajax~ Journey, follow the link below.
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MONDAY 06/08/12 LR
Hey Lads,
I don't normally post on a monday but i finally nailed one of the girls i've been dating for a little while. I havnt nailed a lot of girls off of the dates so this is a good direction for me. :)
Yeh so we've been out a few times, shes been sending me naughty pics of her, its obvious we both want to fuck but have had bad logistics the last few times.
So tonight we caught up for a drive around 11PM - This is after sleeping only a few hours the night before and working hard all day, so im absolutely mentally and physically wrecked, so was a bit out of it. We drove round for a while before pulling up at my famous secluded rooting location, started making out and leade from there. We both hop in the backseat, clothes comes off....turns out she's one of those "I don't suck cock" types...great. :(
After a bit of foreplay and getting to know eachothers bodies a bit i slip a condom on and slide inside of her....she's a bit dry so add a bit of spit to the mixture and we're good to go.
Now ive had a lot of car roots and whilst it isnt that great it is doable and you can have a decent session in there...but not tonight! This was one of the worst rooting sessions i have ever had! Im not sure if it was cause i hadnt done it in there in a while, was dead tired, or if she was too tall or if she was just bad at sex, but there was nothing really pleasurable about this experience for either of us!
We stopped after about 10 minutes and mutually agreed we should go.
So not the greatest root by any means but another one on the scoreboard.
Not sure how things will go with her now, we were talking bout next time saying we'll do it properly but her texting lately has been pretty minimal and to be honest im not that fussed, i think she was getting attached to me and i dont wanna have to tell her im not interested in a relationship yet, maybe she will make it easy for me and break it off?
Been sexting friday night root girl a bit, she's a dirty one and i think ill have to service her again soon.
Ajax~
Hey Lads,
I don't normally post on a monday but i finally nailed one of the girls i've been dating for a little while. I havnt nailed a lot of girls off of the dates so this is a good direction for me. :)
Yeh so we've been out a few times, shes been sending me naughty pics of her, its obvious we both want to fuck but have had bad logistics the last few times.
So tonight we caught up for a drive around 11PM - This is after sleeping only a few hours the night before and working hard all day, so im absolutely mentally and physically wrecked, so was a bit out of it. We drove round for a while before pulling up at my famous secluded rooting location, started making out and leade from there. We both hop in the backseat, clothes comes off....turns out she's one of those "I don't suck cock" types...great. :(
After a bit of foreplay and getting to know eachothers bodies a bit i slip a condom on and slide inside of her....she's a bit dry so add a bit of spit to the mixture and we're good to go.
Now ive had a lot of car roots and whilst it isnt that great it is doable and you can have a decent session in there...but not tonight! This was one of the worst rooting sessions i have ever had! Im not sure if it was cause i hadnt done it in there in a while, was dead tired, or if she was too tall or if she was just bad at sex, but there was nothing really pleasurable about this experience for either of us!
We stopped after about 10 minutes and mutually agreed we should go.
So not the greatest root by any means but another one on the scoreboard.
Not sure how things will go with her now, we were talking bout next time saying we'll do it properly but her texting lately has been pretty minimal and to be honest im not that fussed, i think she was getting attached to me and i dont wanna have to tell her im not interested in a relationship yet, maybe she will make it easy for me and break it off?
Been sexting friday night root girl a bit, she's a dirty one and i think ill have to service her again soon.
Ajax~
__________________
Representing RSD Melbourne Crew~
Follow the Ajax~ Journey, follow the link below.
http://www.rsdnation.com/node/227033/forum
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http://www.rsdnation.com/node/227033/forum
awesome work mate! ur on fire as of late! If i were you, i would keep her arond and give her another run and do it better. Why not carry the problem of having to tell her, "im not interested in a relationship yet". Thats a good problem to have. Become use to having that in your life. Besides your a pimp so you will handle your shit anyway. Something i have been facing is this weird feeling of guilt about dating multiple girls at once. I feel like i need to hide that side of me and make these cover ups. But fuck that, i relised its ok to be a little icy, dont feel the need to lie, be unapologetic about everything. If she want a relationship and you dont then just handle your shit when it happens.
I got this girl sending me these long ass winded text about how she wants a relationship and blah blah blah..but fuck that shit..she aint the right girl so she is gone. I do still feel a little guilty aye...but thats just my old self beliefs popping into my head.
Anyway good work..heres to the Melby Crew handling there shit!!
I got this girl sending me these long ass winded text about how she wants a relationship and blah blah blah..but fuck that shit..she aint the right girl so she is gone. I do still feel a little guilty aye...but thats just my old self beliefs popping into my head.
Anyway good work..heres to the Melby Crew handling there shit!!
MONDAY 06/08/12 LR
Hey Lads,
I don't normally post on a monday but i finally nailed one of the girls i've been dating for a little while. I havnt nailed a lot of girls off of the dates so this is a good direction for me. :)
Yeh so we've been out a few times, shes been sending me naughty pics of her, its obvious we both want to fuck but have had bad logistics the last few times.
So tonight we caught up for a drive around 11PM - This is after sleeping only a few hours the night before and working hard all day, so im absolutely mentally and physically wrecked, so was a bit out of it. We drove round for a while before pulling up at my famous secluded rooting location, started making out and leade from there. We both hop in the backseat, clothes comes off....turns out she's one of those "I don't suck cock" types...great. :(
After a bit of foreplay and getting to know eachothers bodies a bit i slip a condom on and slide inside of her....she's a bit dry so add a bit of spit to the mixture and we're good to go.
Now ive had a lot of car roots and whilst it isnt that great it is doable and you can have a decent session in there...but not tonight! This was one of the worst rooting sessions i have ever had! Im not sure if it was cause i hadnt done it in there in a while, was dead tired, or if she was too tall or if she was just bad at sex, but there was nothing really pleasurable about this experience for either of us!
We stopped after about 10 minutes and mutually agreed we should go.
So not the greatest root by any means but another one on the scoreboard.
Not sure how things will go with her now, we were talking bout next time saying we'll do it properly but her texting lately has been pretty minimal and to be honest im not that fussed, i think she was getting attached to me and i dont wanna have to tell her im not interested in a relationship yet, maybe she will make it easy for me and break it off?
Been sexting friday night root girl a bit, she's a dirty one and i think ill have to service her again soon.
Ajax~
Hey Lads,
I don't normally post on a monday but i finally nailed one of the girls i've been dating for a little while. I havnt nailed a lot of girls off of the dates so this is a good direction for me. :)
Yeh so we've been out a few times, shes been sending me naughty pics of her, its obvious we both want to fuck but have had bad logistics the last few times.
So tonight we caught up for a drive around 11PM - This is after sleeping only a few hours the night before and working hard all day, so im absolutely mentally and physically wrecked, so was a bit out of it. We drove round for a while before pulling up at my famous secluded rooting location, started making out and leade from there. We both hop in the backseat, clothes comes off....turns out she's one of those "I don't suck cock" types...great. :(
After a bit of foreplay and getting to know eachothers bodies a bit i slip a condom on and slide inside of her....she's a bit dry so add a bit of spit to the mixture and we're good to go.
Now ive had a lot of car roots and whilst it isnt that great it is doable and you can have a decent session in there...but not tonight! This was one of the worst rooting sessions i have ever had! Im not sure if it was cause i hadnt done it in there in a while, was dead tired, or if she was too tall or if she was just bad at sex, but there was nothing really pleasurable about this experience for either of us!
We stopped after about 10 minutes and mutually agreed we should go.
So not the greatest root by any means but another one on the scoreboard.
Not sure how things will go with her now, we were talking bout next time saying we'll do it properly but her texting lately has been pretty minimal and to be honest im not that fussed, i think she was getting attached to me and i dont wanna have to tell her im not interested in a relationship yet, maybe she will make it easy for me and break it off?
Been sexting friday night root girl a bit, she's a dirty one and i think ill have to service her again soon.
Ajax~
__________________
'You are enough...aye' - Alex~
Yeh cheers dude.
With the few girls im seeing i dont lie to them, i just never bring up the truth, if they ask ill tell them but they dont so i dont. :)
Yeh Melby Crew Whoooo!!!
With the few girls im seeing i dont lie to them, i just never bring up the truth, if they ask ill tell them but they dont so i dont. :)
Yeh Melby Crew Whoooo!!!
awesome work mate! ur on fire as of late! If i were you, i would keep her arond and give her another run and do it better. Why not carry the problem of having to tell her, "im not interested in a relationship yet". Thats a good problem to have. Become use to having that in your life. Besides your a pimp so you will handle your shit anyway. Something i have been facing is this weird feeling of guilt about dating multiple girls at once. I feel like i need to hide that side of me and make these cover ups. But fuck that, i relised its ok to be a little icy, dont feel the need to lie, be unapologetic about everything. If she want a relationship and you dont then just handle your shit when it happens.
I got this girl sending me these long ass winded text about how she wants a relationship and blah blah blah..but fuck that shit..she aint the right girl so she is gone. I do still feel a little guilty aye...but thats just my old self beliefs popping into my head.
Anyway good work..heres to the Melby Crew handling there shit!!
I got this girl sending me these long ass winded text about how she wants a relationship and blah blah blah..but fuck that shit..she aint the right girl so she is gone. I do still feel a little guilty aye...but thats just my old self beliefs popping into my head.
Anyway good work..heres to the Melby Crew handling there shit!!
MONDAY 06/08/12 LR
Hey Lads,
I don't normally post on a monday but i finally nailed one of the girls i've been dating for a little while. I havnt nailed a lot of girls off of the dates so this is a good direction for me. :)
Yeh so we've been out a few times, shes been sending me naughty pics of her, its obvious we both want to fuck but have had bad logistics the last few times.
So tonight we caught up for a drive around 11PM - This is after sleeping only a few hours the night before and working hard all day, so im absolutely mentally and physically wrecked, so was a bit out of it. We drove round for a while before pulling up at my famous secluded rooting location, started making out and leade from there. We both hop in the backseat, clothes comes off....turns out she's one of those "I don't suck cock" types...great. :(
After a bit of foreplay and getting to know eachothers bodies a bit i slip a condom on and slide inside of her....she's a bit dry so add a bit of spit to the mixture and we're good to go.
Now ive had a lot of car roots and whilst it isnt that great it is doable and you can have a decent session in there...but not tonight! This was one of the worst rooting sessions i have ever had! Im not sure if it was cause i hadnt done it in there in a while, was dead tired, or if she was too tall or if she was just bad at sex, but there was nothing really pleasurable about this experience for either of us!
We stopped after about 10 minutes and mutually agreed we should go.
So not the greatest root by any means but another one on the scoreboard.
Not sure how things will go with her now, we were talking bout next time saying we'll do it properly but her texting lately has been pretty minimal and to be honest im not that fussed, i think she was getting attached to me and i dont wanna have to tell her im not interested in a relationship yet, maybe she will make it easy for me and break it off?
Been sexting friday night root girl a bit, she's a dirty one and i think ill have to service her again soon.
Ajax~
Hey Lads,
I don't normally post on a monday but i finally nailed one of the girls i've been dating for a little while. I havnt nailed a lot of girls off of the dates so this is a good direction for me. :)
Yeh so we've been out a few times, shes been sending me naughty pics of her, its obvious we both want to fuck but have had bad logistics the last few times.
So tonight we caught up for a drive around 11PM - This is after sleeping only a few hours the night before and working hard all day, so im absolutely mentally and physically wrecked, so was a bit out of it. We drove round for a while before pulling up at my famous secluded rooting location, started making out and leade from there. We both hop in the backseat, clothes comes off....turns out she's one of those "I don't suck cock" types...great. :(
After a bit of foreplay and getting to know eachothers bodies a bit i slip a condom on and slide inside of her....she's a bit dry so add a bit of spit to the mixture and we're good to go.
Now ive had a lot of car roots and whilst it isnt that great it is doable and you can have a decent session in there...but not tonight! This was one of the worst rooting sessions i have ever had! Im not sure if it was cause i hadnt done it in there in a while, was dead tired, or if she was too tall or if she was just bad at sex, but there was nothing really pleasurable about this experience for either of us!
We stopped after about 10 minutes and mutually agreed we should go.
So not the greatest root by any means but another one on the scoreboard.
Not sure how things will go with her now, we were talking bout next time saying we'll do it properly but her texting lately has been pretty minimal and to be honest im not that fussed, i think she was getting attached to me and i dont wanna have to tell her im not interested in a relationship yet, maybe she will make it easy for me and break it off?
Been sexting friday night root girl a bit, she's a dirty one and i think ill have to service her again soon.
Ajax~
__________________
Representing RSD Melbourne Crew~
Follow the Ajax~ Journey, follow the link below.
http://www.rsdnation.com/node/227033/forum
Follow the Ajax~ Journey, follow the link below.
http://www.rsdnation.com/node/227033/forum
Ajax~
Respected Member
Join Date: 05/17/2007 | Posts: 391
Heeeeey whats going on RSD,
Went out last night (friday night) and frankly i sucked ass!
One thing i notice is that if i had a good day, whcih i did today, then my nights tend to be crappier, and if i have a crap day, my nights end up being great - weird, lol.
Yeh so we went out to one of the messier bars around town, really scruffy place but lots of horny, hot and young chicks there so a good choice.
I was in a pretty alright mood to start with, focused on bouncing around early on just to have some fun and to warm myself up socially, had a few short interactions then just went to hangout with the guys a bit and grab a drink.
Saw some gorgeous red headed hottie in a tight outfit dancing with her friends, went in - shoulder tapped and pulled her close, lots of waffling and strong eye contact, she was loving it. Lasted about 5-10 minutes before i could feel it getting a little stale, went to take her outside but she kept insisting she wanted to keep dancing with her friends, i kept trying to pull her out, she kept resisting. I let it go but could feel the magic was gone, turned my back to chat to my wing for a sec, turn back and she'd left.
Bounced around a bit more but i could feel that neediness inside of me growing, i was hunting around the venue for girls to talk to and on some level get validation from, a really bad frame to come from. Even hanging out with the guys i was feeling pretty disconnected and couldnt even vibe with them, so it was gonna be one of those nights.
I bummed around for a while feeling all chodey and lost. i had lost my stride and was now just full on reacting to everything around me.
Eventually i rolled by one of my wings who was chatting to 2 girls on the dance floor, he pulls me in and it sort of snaps me out of my trance, i was in a very strong 'dont give a fuck' state right now, and i stuck in there for quite a while with this hottie, yeeeeeeh! Lasted about 5-10 before something happened (fuck knows??) and shes just vanished... about 2 seconds after this i get a 'tap tap' on my back, turn around, and there's the virgin who i've been dating for a few months, haha, whoops.
No idea how long shes been there but i could tell she was a bit shook up seeing me hitting up some other girl, im not sure if she thinks we're mutual or not (we're not) but she's young and might have had different ideas. I brush it off as best i can and spend the rest of the night with her and her friends just chatting, making out, dancing, all that stuff.
So a pretty average night, nothing to write home about, but on night's like these there's always lots of lessons and stuff to reflect on - and i reckon it repeatedly exposes any cracks in my personality and how i interact with the world.
So my thoughts about tonight.... I was massively outcome dependent and pretty much running round the club looking for validation. I did not feel that comfortable and did not have much freedom from outcome. I wa relying on the girls reaction to boost how i felt and this was fucking with me the whole night. I was not having real fun, i was not relaxed and was REACTING to the environment and looking for an outcome.
I'm happy to put it down to having a bad day and that shit happens, we all have shitty nights but i dont want to identify with it, learn my lessons and move on.
So my lessons from tonight...
- Focus on drawing my state from within. Focus on having my own fun and creating my own party (take my advice in previous posts, jump around, do stupid dances, sing, yell, motion is emotion, whatever, own whatever you do). Make sure i do this in everyday life, make this a lifestyle, not just something i do when i go out at night.
- Must remeber that even though i am not perfect and never will be, that there is no reason why i am not enough. TRUST that whatever i do is the right thing, 100% trust.
- SELF TRUST - This has been a deep rooted challenge of mine for a while, probably back to since i was a kid, having that self trust that i am an awesome cool guy who has lots of value to offer other people and the rest of the world. Trust that i can handle whatever situation i put myself in, trust that i can handle the world and trust in the process 100%! I have done so much amazing stuff in my life, lots and lots of world travel, army, uni degree, romping for almost 5 years now. I have a lot more life experience than most people, i need to acknowledge this awesomeness and come into congruence with this. I am the shit and i am a cool guy, i just need to loosen up and accept this and start to live it more. All the pieces are there, i just need to stop getting in my own way.
- Relax more - RELAX - Stop giving a fuck about everything, nothing matters, nothing fucking matters, just let it all go.
- Say what i wanna say more. Be "myself" more. Express myself congruently, however i am feeling express that feeling and roll with it. Dont filter what i wanna say, just let it all out.
- Stepping up and taking responcibility - Step up and take responcibility for my emotions, how i feel, the girls that i approach, the moves that i make and the way my night goes. It doesnt matter what happens tonight, what matters is how i respond to it. Did i step up and push every interaction as far as it will go? Did i take the right actions to allow myself to relax enough? Am i in control of my emotions or are my emotions in control of me? Will the club overwhelm you or you overwhelm the club?
- Focus on having a strong frame - when a girl says no, i say yes. Whatever i am doing is the right thing to do, and she's the one who's in the wrong. " No no girl, you're wrong, this is what we do, dont you get it?" - "I am awesome"
- Living in my reality. I am a cool guy, people love spending time with me, i am fun and offer lots of value, if you dont like it, it really is your loss alone and means nothing to me. I deserve the best and am the one judging and qualifying, not being judged or qualified. Take this frame, run with it, play with it, reinforce it daily and build it like a muscle that must be continually broken and rebuilt over and over and takes weeks and months to fully develop.
So this has gone from lessons of the night to covering a bunch of core ideas that i feel i need to solidify a bit more. My mind was on a bit of a roll and I'm going to review this list daily to constantly reallign myself in the direction i want to be moving closer to every single day. I think overall i need to take a lot more responcibility and keep my shit in order, every single day. I leave too much to chance and then feel bad when things dont work out.
The end of another long post. Going out tonight to one of the best clubs in the city tonight with just one wingman, rest of the crew are just all over the country at the moment, time to go out and take a bit more responcibility tonight ;)
Ajax~
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